Jun 14, 2013
Wow, reading some of the things that mother's post on here make me so worried about if I will be able to do the same for my child. I am so scared to end up like mine. Both my parents were doing speed and alcohol with me by the time I was 18, and my mom was even helping me slam it. Now I quit the drugs, the drinking, the entire lifestyle, and its all I ever really known and been around. And yes I have some good influences in my life like the family I moved and am staying with to stay clean, but in the back of my mind all day everyday is the craving and the wanting of going home. Yes I think I want to go back and stay around positive influences, but what happens if I see some ld friends that are getting loaded and it makes me want to do it just one more time, which it never is just that. And I am so off the hook when I am getting loaded. I don't stay inone place, I go to the extreme. And the most scariest thing is that if I have such cravings and wantings, will I be strong enough to overcome it for my child and be the mother I never had, and want to be? I don't want to expose him to any harm and like my mom always said tome, "Its in your blood to do drugs and be a **** up".I don't want him to not ever have a chance because of me because I never had one. I want to give him a childhood. I don't want him to be doing pills and drinking in school, and then by 18 doing speed with my mom and dad. Dating their friends. Its just not a life that is worth living. But why is it so easy to miss? I am just very scared.