Last Chance...for now

Well, AF showed up again last week, so I am now in the midst of my 4th Femara cycle.  My initial supply was only for 4 cycles, and the doctor said she might be willing to give me 2 more, but since I've been on meds since last September (4 cycles of Clomid first), we've decided to give my body a rest.  I've read many times that 6 months is usually the max and since this makes a total of 8 for me, it's probably for the best.  I can tell that these meds have really put my body through a lot (weight gain, headaches, extreme fatigue), and even though it's been more than worth it, I don't want to push the envelope.  According to all of the due date calculators, if we got our BFP this cycle, I'd be due December 31st.  So, it's our final chance to have a baby this year.  Yikes!  I can remember when we were hoping to have a baby during 2007.  Time just flies.  We've tried so many different things and bd on all the right days so many times and still nothing.  It drives me crazy since I am such a planner and with this, there is just absolutely nothing I can do to control it.  I guess one thing I've learned is that no matter what, God is not going to give us our little miracle until He's ready.  I wish I knew the specifics of His plan, but we've gotta believe that he will answer our prayers and make us parents one day.  So, here's hoping that this is the month that we will be blessed.  If not, I guess all we can do is just keep praying that our time will be soon.  In the meantime, we have decided that we are so tired of putting our life on hold for something that just isn't happening.  I think it's time to be thankful for what we do have, try to enjoy the summer ahead, and hope that we'll be spending the summer of 2009 with our new baby!