Jun 23, 2013
I remember dr penn also rec'd I go to co dependent meetings, cuz you know that step that is like repent about all the nasty spit u did to ppl when u were high? well, im sure I did something but most of the time spit was done to me. im the one who generally gets freaked over cuz its hard for me to stand up for myself. so. since I still want to go to a na or aa meeting tomorrow and I have not been getting to many this is true my roster of possibility in this arena seems full. I also want to look into going back to school (family therapist), develop a fiction/poetry writing schedule, and possibly take a writing class. La Chula thinks I should apply for a summer or winter writing fellowship somewhere in the country. I still want to take zumba and yoga and such.
nora has ben chill she have a migraine but been texting me all day about how we should talk and she is there for me whenever I need her. I told her 'I likes you nora' and she tell me 'I like you too we will hang out soon.' then later she text me about the special full moon tonite. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
I still dk what to do about nora and johnny. they seem to give me dirty looks when I see them in theparking lot and idk what I did cept turn down nora once for a meeting. I was drunk member mh but alls I said was ty Nora. I dk ht repair that thing. I feel bad.
I am still really upset about S if you are reading this you should be happy that you are achieving your desired effect. it is very hurtful and it has upset me since you said it 'idc'. I know you don't care about me right now but it still hurts. a lot.
I am still sad about all the ac bs too. I am sure he is there right now in my bedroom fooking his new chick. its awful.
my apt looks nice yes atb I fix a lot of it up and put most the things away.
I got my lesson plans done thank god none for La Chula!!! yay just my class. still got a little work tomorrow with input grades and email my boss but not as much as today I think
after lps at starbux I came home and change and went back to the main place for a two hour hike. it was hot but real nice. I had a fair degree of energy. I went all the way past Nekkid Man Trail and onto the place that looks over the more eastern part of the valley towards Fryman. it was deserted in some spots and I getted nervis but rr would be proud I think oh maybe not he want me ded too but anyway I brot my fone and so that was chilly chill
after I went to MM and we end up hanging at her apt and outside. we got donuts (one me her two) and we boy watched cuz turn out a bunch of hot guys live in her bldg. we gawked at them so hard they noticed I was embarrass but we was having fun and laughing so loud they had to know. one in partic was super hot to me he look like a young tom petty with like straight blond hair almost to his shoulders skinny and I almost knock him down and do it right there like chrissyhynde say on the pavement oh baby yeah. super hot. MM and I saw so many guys there we did pinky promise we would not leave the bldg. without doing the nasty with one a them. unfort it did not pan out.
then comed home. ima sleep soon noras moon don't come full on till four a.m. and hopefully I be asleep
I still want to put a personals ad in the net but I still feel like its too soon, though I want to find a guy and esp get jiggy I suppose even I will have to wait. boo hoo hoo
hope ur are ok medhelp I miss all of you
later days and good night
I love you a very lot!