April 8, 2009

Ok, so....all weekend, i screwed up, acctually from thursday to monday i prolly had 3000 cals per day, well monday I was doing really well, but then this dude, upset me pretty badly, so i binged....and hten hated myself. NOW, today, or yesterday, i havent gone to sleep yet, which i will tell you why  in a minute. SO today/yesterday TUESDAY, i took all tht anger from the guy, and used it to drive me to fast, so i woke up around 11 PM, cuz i am NOT a morning person, and then i drank some apple juice (120 cals) then i cleaned my room which took around an hour, and then me and my friend went for a 2 hr walk to a store and i got green tea, and gum, and 2 protein bars, cuz i figure i'll be lacking protein soon, OH and i also got metabolism boosting Chrystal Lite (green tea peach mango) BUT ANYWAY, so form 11AM to 5:30 PM all i had was 135 cals. AND NONE OF IT WAS SOLIDS, it was drinks and gum =], i was so proud, and then all of a sudden my dogs start barking, my gma came home w/ pizza, my friend was still over, and she MADE me eat at least one piece, but if i start, theres no stopping me, in the end i had like 4 pieces, and tht brought me to like 1000 cals. SO THEN my friend went home, and i was lazy and felt badly, and never got to purge, so i drank this stuff tht burns 100 cals just from drinking it (200mg caffeine) then like 15 min later, took 2 caffeine pills (bottle said take 1) then drank that chrystal lite (25mg caffeine) THEN drank green tea(dont even remember) BUT this was ALOT ALOT ALOT of caffeine, and im not supposed to have caffeine because i have a heart problem that causes me to pass out alot.............and now, its 12:38am, i have to b up by 7 and leave the house at 7:15, i had more caffeine then a person who CAN HAVE caffeine should ahve. and i dotn feel too well, i am having troubles typinging, and thinking, and moving around, im a little shakey and slightly dizzy, and my friend says i over dosed on caffeine.......but yea, so basically. ITS EITHER today or yesterday this all happened, anddd i thought i did well today, OH AND THE reason i had so much caffeien is because it raises ur metabolism or so i hear, so i tought it would make up for the 1000 cals today, which i spent on 1 meal basically, im an idiot i kno. idc tho. because this was the best ive done in a while, to bad it kinda painful, well the caffeine part is, but i dont have to do tht every night, or i'll prolly end up killing myself. im going to go attempt to sleep, wish me luckkkk.......................goodnight, i will let u kno how im doing today/tomarrow Depending on if i get on again,