Jul 15, 2013
It's just soooo good to be free of zopiclone (ambien) & esp valium. Thought it'd be next year before I was off valium. Thanks to the psych for not sending me these 2 scripts. Yes, a lot of agony, still have 'frights' in my tummy, but have my faith in God to strengthen, comfort & help me through. Over the worst anyway, hahahahaha! Yep! I'm HAPPY! I have not lost my joy. Those 2 meds were a peace & joy stealer. Still having bowel probs. Seeing my surgeon on the 19th. Extremely baaaad pains on waking this morn. Nearly fainted, sweat poured off me even tho it's freezing winter here, & the heater wan't on yet. Prayed hard & was soon able to go to the toilet, which relieved it a little. I don't understand why I'm going thru this, but something's not right inside me there. Waiting for the hosp to ring to book me in for a procedure, a UEA, bowel prolapse & rubber band ligation (?). Must research all this. I also have a rectocele, so must research that too. Doing pelvic floor exercises regularly. Eating well with no pain during the day, just when I first sit up in bed. I'm skin & bone still tho. No weight gain yet. Weird! Had stupid anxiety for the last 10 days or so. Must be part of wdl still. No more meds for me. Will get off mirtazapine next. I'm no depressed, so don't need an anti-dep. Not just yet tho. Will get bowel sorted out first, maybe???? I want to stop smoking cigs too. Tobacco is just so yuck! Stinks, bad breath, hair & clothes pong of it. I hate it, can't be bothered rolling them anymore. Have to smoke outside in the cold or heat in summer. Hate being a slave to this addiction now. YAY! I never thought I'd say I wanted to quit, but I really do now. All is well in spite of tummy pain. Thank God i went off ambien ct, even tho I had a full box & a half in my drawer. Threw the lot out with my hubby watching. He then put that rubbish bag outside in the big bin. 6 sleepless nights, on top of the flu with terrible chest infection with pains there, 'fright' feelings in tummy, but prayer & faith got me thru. Then it was the valium ct. None left at all, anywhere! The relief of having none is so well worth the prize of being free. I could NOT have done all this without receiving strength & comfort from my Jesus, my Shepherd, my Comforter! Quite amazing! It is as the song says "Amazing Grace". Last March of this year, I tried going ct, but could not do it. I only renewed my faith in God soon after & wasn't strong enough at that time. Now I've learnt a lot from Joyce Meyer & I'm doing what she says, pray, read the Bible, even one verse & meditate on it, change my thinking to positive so as I think, then I say & do. IT REALLY WORKS! I DO BELIEVE! I've had many wonderful revelations, signs, incredible signs to show me that I am not alone. Too numerous to recount here. It's that simple. My choice, life or death. I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful family that love me, as I love them so much. Even my hubby has changed. I haven't preached. No way. But my actions speak louder than words. I am giving out love, peace & joy now.