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Tramadol & Ultram Withdrawal & Recovery Room Part 7

Apr 21, 2009 - 179 comments
Tags:

withdrawals

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ULTRAM ER

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Pain

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horror

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nightmare

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restless legs

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Restless Arms

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Insomnia



Hi Everyone!

Welcome to Part 7!

Snuggle in and make yourself at Home, eh?

Emily

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by sandie1977, Apr 21, 2009
hello again.

Last night was pure HELL!!!!!

I woke up every hour, with the feeling that someone (or something) was trying to pull my legs off my body.
Then I had realized I CANT SLEEP! OMG! I CHERISH SLEEP!

Major audit at work today and managed to get through it, but the people were looking at me funny. (Im sure I had the "glassy eye look"

Right now, my brain is on high speed crack! I feel frenzied, happy (giddy), its not right...

Im never happy...

Last night I had such a feeling of doom.

Today I was laughing and cutting up with co-workers, usually ( I work at  a prison as a nurse) I am snapping all the inmates heads off telling them to get lost, you have no idea what pain is. My boss told me I have to chill.

Then I am acting like this...

Guess, I need to break the news to her that I am breaking up with Tramadol. Dont know how she'll take it.

Tomorrow I work 13 hours.

I am down to two a day (still)

Comfortable with that dose. Tried going 16 hours without a pill, Lawdy Gees that was... welll... not sure how to describe the intense feeling of rage, sadness, depression.

Will I EVER BE ABLE TO GET DOWN TO NONE????????????????????????????????????????

I dont have sweats so much, used to be the mornings were the worst for me, now I stare at my bed at night and think *** will I get one solid hour of sleep? ****

Well, I wanted to ask posters on here if they expierenced weight loss with the tramadol and if so did you gain weight once you were off? I was 140 pounds at 5'5" tall when I started taking, and now I am barely able to hold 100 lbs. at 5'5" (still)  *** no effect on the height***

Sandie (who wishes for one night of sleep)





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by jooler, Apr 21, 2009
hang in there girl. im just now getting sleep. it sux but you can do it. u will feel better

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by kevzx81, Apr 21, 2009
Sandie-yes the weight loss is normal and so is weight gain after Tramadol. As for 'getting down to none' do it at your own pace. It is possible to get soluble tramadol and taper almost down to nothing before quitting. This worked ok for me and the w/ds were nowhere near as bad as cold turkey.

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by beeb16, Apr 21, 2009
yes hang in there!

Went to the grocery store today, felt like every movement i made was magnified 100 times.
super -heightened senses.

and then.... heres the kicker!!     They started playing "chiquitita" by ABBA!!
Man, it took everything i had not to bust out crying. If you really want to loosen up
and let it all out,listen to THAT song.
i've heard it a 1000 times and never even payed attn. to the lyrics before!

today is day 7 for me. It's been a long week with days 2-4 as being the hardest.
i'm sleeping 4-6 hrs. a night,but it's enough to get by.
last time i c/t'd it was 10 days before i returned to sleeping at least 6 hrs a night.

slight depression, little foggy but other that that, about 90 percent.

and thank you everyone for the great comments. More later today

beeb


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by dontbelieve, Apr 21, 2009
Howdy all,

Sorry I haven't been able to post for a few days....BUT....WE HAVE A BOY!!!!

John Patrick was born at 1:52 am on 4-20-09...( not my choice of days..his. lol.) He is 7 pounds 11 oz and was 19 inches long.....and he is AWESOME!!!....

Mama and baby are both doing very well...shes in a bit of pain but still very happy and upbeat.

on a side note: I made it through this PAIN MED FREE!!!!... ( mama on the other hand...Epidural...lol)

I could not be happier...and I feel fantastic...its amazing how this little guy took all my pain and withdrawl symptoms away the instant I saw him...

For those who have been here a while you will remember my goal was to be pain med free and hopefully withdrawl free by the time this boy came....Thank you to all the amazing people in here who helped me accomplish that. I strongly feel without the support and info from the people in this room I would have been in a Tramafog when my son was born....
SO A BIG THANK YOU TO THIS ROOM!!!

On the lighter side:

I did manage to get my wife to Laugh through some of the strongest contractions....

The lamaze lady told us she needed to find her happy place...for my wife thats a beach in Jamacia...our honeymoon spot.
Well as the strong contractions started coming I wispered in her ear...ok baby find your happy place...oh look theres the beach...and out on the water theres a fisherman...look baby hes waving..wave back to him...( she did...lol)...so I rambled on for a while about this beach and all the palm trees and happy things....then she started trying to break my hand...I did not know she was that strong...As she was squeezing...my mind began to wander and I started to tell her" ....your still at the beach....but uh oh whats that on the horizon....oh no its a hurricane!!!....oh no there goes the fisherman!! Watch out palm trees are being uprooted and flying everywhere!!!...holy **** it just took out the hotel!!!!..." by then not only was she laughing but so was the doctor and the nurses...Then my 17yr neice who was her other coach started in...." oh no auntie, duck!...3 jamacians just flew past you...and here comes a sail boat!!!!...what are you still doing sitting on the beach!!!!....Run Auntie...Run for your life!!!!"....it was hilarious....

I will add some pictures and post some more once I get some sleep....

Take care all....

The Hillbilly...

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by bigman777, Apr 21, 2009
Bigman 777 here. Was just reading posts and noticed at top of post is an ad for the big Tram,Delivered directly to your door no less ! Geeze How convienent( extreme sacarasm implied).This seems to me to be in extremely bad taste for the Quote(med help corp) call me crazy but that does not  seem helpful  here at this time in my life. I dunno , not really a biggie but still seems in poor taste.Are my wrong about this. Later Bigman777

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by KC67, Apr 21, 2009
CONGRATS HILLBILLY!!!!!!!!!
SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND YOUR NEW ADDITION TO YOUR FAMILY!!!!!
Yes, you said you would do it - drug free - and you did it!!!
What an awesome feeling.  Congratulations again and looking forward to hearing more about John Patrick.

Sincerely,
kc

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 21, 2009
how in the world are any of you able to function out in the world during the first few days?  this is my first day and it has been pure heck.  i stupidly did the cold turkey method becaue i didn't think i could trust myself to taper down, but i've finally confided in my husband how badly it's gotten and i think i'm going to have to call the doc and see if he give me an rx for it and then let my husband handle my meds.

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by beeb16, Apr 21, 2009
I think thats how most of us c/t. stupidly. We get fed up ,throw em out the window,flush em.etc
next thing you know we cant get a refill,1 day turns into two,then three and before you know it
youve got 10 days then two weeks clean. then you look back and say "thats the best thing i ever did"

I'm not a taper kinda guy. i'ts gotta be all or nothing. if  i have access to the trams , that "voice" is
always there "just one" "just one" "just one" "and we can put all this madness behind us" then one
turns into two and so on. Then you find yourself sitting there thinking  " how come this never works for
me"

I remember that saying " A coward dies a thousand deaths, A hero only one"
i worry about it, and worry about it and it causes me pain everytime i think about getting off the ****!
I'll do it next week, or on vacation, or when it's a full moon etc.. each worry is like dying another death.
instead of just saying "screw this" tommorow i quit!

for me it's not the quitting part, it's the STAYING quit that's tough.\
Like i  said before " i don't have another QUIT in me.

tommorow i see the doctor. From now on my file will read  "do not prescribe tramadol.EVER"

peace beeb


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by jooler, Apr 21, 2009
hey guys. i just got home from work n i start 7 days at midnite. i feels so good. my wife is so proud of me. man there are alot of peeps relapsing. i gotta tell ya, for the first time in a week i thoght about buying today. it was just for a sec but it was enough to scare me. i couldnt do those dam wds again. i havent got my sleep back yet but the physical pain has subsided. im supposed to go to the doc on thur but i cancelled my appt. NO MORE.

beeb...i like the comment bout the coward. i never heard that. there is a song out by TI and Justin called dead and gone. i dont like rap but the chorus spoke to me...............


No more stress now I’m straight,
Now I get it now I take time to think before I make mistake just for my
family stake,
That part of me left yesterday
The harder me is strong today,
No regrets I’m blessed to say the old me dead and gone away,

I’ve been travelin on this road too long
Just tryin find my way back home
But the old me’s dead and gone,
Dead and Gone,
I’ve been travelin on this road too long, too long
Just tryin find my way back home, back home
But the old me’s and gone,
Dead and Gone


This is how i feel going into day 7 in about 20 min.

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by Spacey303, Apr 22, 2009
A big fat THANK YOU to EmilyPost and you all!

I'm new to the community and just completed reading this thread about Tramadol. It's tough to write this through the tears of laughter, sadness, hopefullness, and truth you all have brought about. I write as a profession (and thus read a LOT!) and I haven't read thoughts as compelling, touching and well-written as those provided by Emily, Hill Billy, Noodle, Kev -- just to name a few...

I've had 6 spinal surgeries (including 3 anterior fusions and 1 posterior fusion) in the past 2 years and have been on just about every pain med out there...including the dreaded Tramadol. I took the "Tramadol vacations" mentioned and experienced...well...everything here. And I thought I was alone. Alone in the thoughts, feelings and behaviors I experienced while taking Tramadol.

I'm so happy (and simultaneously saddened) I've found kindred spirits! I've read words here that I NEEDED to hear right NOW. I'm not religious, but spiritual, so I'll proudly declare, "The divine forces in the Universe must have brought me to this community tonight because they knew I needed it!"

I've been off Tramadol for almost a year but have recently thought about going back on it. But that "ain't" gonna happen now! Thank you all for creating this wonderful place!!!

(P.S. I'd VERY much like to know more, Emily, (or anyone else!) about the compulsive consumerism you mentioned. I TOTALLY did that and didn't even realize until reading your post that this could have been part of my Tramadol haze. PLEASE tell me more about your experiences in this area!! Only by learning more about this behavior and what drives it can I understand my past behavior and create a different future for myself...and who better to learn from than others who have experienced it? Please share with me...
-- S


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by Shadetree, Apr 22, 2009
Good Morning All...

So its the first day I havent taken any tramadevil. I feel lightheaded, dizzy almost. I have to make it through today (at work) then I will be able to struggle by myself (if only through the day time while kids are at school). I dont have the depression I anticipate...yet. Although a few thoughts/feelings are peeking through getting ready to come. And I know from you friends here that day 2 -4  are the worst. So depression is a feeling I know well, so at least I know what to expect. I have some t3's & darvs with me incase I need to just get through... I dont plan to use them tho because I know they will make depression worse tomorrow. So only if I absolutley have to.

I slept all night, but it was a weird restless sleep. I woke up a few times through the night, just felt sooo uncomfortable. I dreamt of tramadol all night....sheesh. But it was like parting with it. Im sure my brain cells were going a little bazerk (sp)
So here I am days/weeks from being my old self again. I have to say I already can tell a big difference. Everything means more, the fog is lifting if only a bit. I feel like I have been asleep and am waking up. You know first thing in the morning when you open your eyes for the first time. I am not "awake" by any means but I am just waking up. So give me a min to wake up before I "get out of bed" :)

The cold symptoms are back, have been sneezing like crazy! Sounds odd, but I hope this keeps up today....ha ha so everyone will see Im "sick" that is terrible I know...lol but I dont need to be around people while Im depressed...

So for now I have to go. I will talk to everyone soon.

~Shade

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by noodlegrl, Apr 22, 2009
Day 28 - I am better than I thought I would be. Less than a month ago, I was just certain that I was doomed with anxiety; that it would NEVER go away! I was soooo SURE that daily I would have to fight the anxiety BEAST! I am ECSTATIC to know that I have a chance at a minimal anxiety life. It affects me very mildly every once in a while but I am able to put it to rest relatively easily, no panic attacks or palpitations in over a week (probably longer). THANK YOU ALMIGHTY HIGHER POWERS!! And thank you friends here for helping me get through one of the most difficult times in my life. I think it is safe to say that I will NEVER become dependent/addicted to ANYTHING ever again.

Hillbilly - CONGRATS on the new addition to your family! I am SO proud of you for achieving your goal of being clean before his birth. John Patrick is a wonderful name! *hugs to you and your wife and little boy* Amazing things!

Struggling - you function very very carefully! LOL It can be really rough. You have to actively think about how what you are feeling is because of the drug. Get mad at it. Take a couple days off if its really bad and then before you know it you are through the worst. I can remember having random feelings of normalcy and then wanting to knock on my head to see if tram was still there getting ready to sneak up on me.. lol. You can do it though! Hope and Anger are good friends to beat this thing.

Sandie - you will get down to none! And you will make it. I have faith! Good vibes coming your way!

Spacey - aww shucks! Thank you :) YES - although everyone is different I can say that I KNOW that going back on tramadol will eventually be a VERY bad thing indeed. *holds up Talisman to ward off Evil Tramadol*

Shade - Day 1 FREE!! So proud :)

Everyone else - yay happiness vibes to everyone and have a GREAT day!!

Busy busy here...

~Noodle

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by UPSguy, Apr 22, 2009
Day 8, still doing good. I realize some people are against fighting one chemical with another but when one can't really miss work, this approach may be good. I kinda thought this Trileptal (oxcarbazepine) stuff worked alittle too well...  I just found a link to a clinical study where they used it to detox somebody addicted to tramadol. Check it out:



http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17987545

CONCERN: With reference to the case history, we report on an in-patient detoxification of a tramadol addicted subject by application of the antiepileptic substance oxcarbazepine.

METHOD: The patient's medical records as well as the progress of the in-patient tramadol detoxification by means of oxcarbazepine are outlined. Additionally, we discuss our experience with oxcarbazepine as a therapeutic alternative in addiction medicine.

CONCLUSION: Also in tramadol withdrawal the good tolerability as well as mood stabilising effects during and after inpatient treatment was shown. The inpatient time for withdrawal was significantly shortened, in contrast to the past no withdrawal symptoms emerged and after inpatient treatment the patient showed up abstinent and was affective good stabilised.


TAKE CARE EVERYBODY!

I got work on building my gut back up, I'm hungry again, lol....









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by beeb16, Apr 22, 2009
day 8

woke up sneezed again, but all in all feeling clearer everyday.
slept last night with a horrrible toothache!
went to the ER doctor gave me 2 vicodin,and said tooth had to come out
but by the time i got home, i just fell asleep without taking anything.
so i've got the two vicodin sitting in my pocket plus an rx for 20 more.
I should also mention here that i'm a Type ll diabetic and take insulin.
it's a double whammy when trying to get off any medication as
blood sugars are hard to control when the body is under any kind of stress.
all in all i feel pretty good though , except for minor anxiety and depression.
not in the day but mostly during the evening hours right before bed.

more later.
beeb


p.s.  My  sister used to call me "baby" but it sounded like "bebe" so my family
started calling me "bebe" but then it got shortened to "beeb"


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by beeb16, Apr 22, 2009
forgot to mention congrats to everyone.
especially noodle, and shadetree.
i can see you guys are fighting the "good" fight.
everybody's story is different,and everybody's story
is important. I gotta say though that the scariest part
for me was the "dizzy" or "lightheaded " fellng early on.
like i was going to pass out in public. and also the feeling
that people were "staring" at me. Like they knew.

anyway, i read ALL the posts, so if i don't mention your name
to wish you congrats
its not that im not listening, just my short term memory is
not all that great right now. ha ha
hillbilly, emily, kev, ups,,kc,spacy,jooler,bigman,sandie,etc..

beeb

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by ultraumatized, Apr 22, 2009
i just wanted to share something i have recently learned that may help someone in the future:

lortab stops the sweats & chills as well as some of the other symptoms of tramadol withdrawal.

if someone has an opiate addiction, using lortab for this probably isn't a good idea, but for me...i am addicted to tramadol, not lortab.  it has completely relieved those horrid cold/hot sweats...it doesn't last very long, but when i feel them coming i just take one & it subsides within about 15-20 minutes.  this is my second day without ultram & i don't feel nearly as bad as i have in the past coming off on a fast taper or stopping all together.

just my 2 cents...hope it helps.

i recognize some people here.  i went of tramadol at the first of the year for a month & suffered horrible for the first several days.  since then i broke down & started abusing again, but i'm ready to get off...maybe not forever...definitely can't think that far ahead, but for now at least.  

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by BVD660, Apr 22, 2009
Day 9....

Noodle and beeb, I know what ya mean about the sneezing.  Been sneezing 10 times a day since I quit.  The sneezing I can handle, it's the anxiety I'm still dealing with.  The attacks are becoming more infrequent as the days go by though.

Noodle, I'm glad to hear the anxiety does get better and I'm soooooooo looking forward to my day 28.

Hang in there my fellow tram warriors.  As Rob Schneider yells in The Waterboy: "You can do it!"

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by jooler, Apr 22, 2009
beeb....throw that script away yo..tramidol sux but so does vicodin. that was my drug of choice. day 7 now n looking forword to tomorrow. i got 5 hours sleep last nite. physical pain is gone...hhoorraayy. i read every post as well n im sorry if i dont mention all names but i pray for everyone one this site every night. good luck to all n ill holla in a couple hours

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by beeb16, Apr 22, 2009
i'm tempted to do just that.
but if my toothache comes back tonite,all bets are off.
tommorow got the appt with the dentist. the tooth will
come out, then i may pop a few. I'm trying to keep in touch
with how i'm feeling which is why i haven't taken any.
i know if i pop a couple it'll mask the tramadol symptoms
and i won't know where i'm at with the w/d's .

we gotta do what we can,where we are,with what we have.

beeb

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by bigman777, Apr 22, 2009
Hi Bigmann 777 here.Had a horrible night.I managed to hurt back while lifting up queen size mattresses looking for computer glasses.Then major uti pain and of course burning cold in my feet from the neuropathy from the Diebeties and disc damage in lower back, next I got the cold sweats and a few of the electric jolts thrown in just for good measure. Then I started to get depressed and started to think dark thoughts. Not good!I wanted pain killers I came to tears.Then I got angry with myself and the whole f-ing situation. Best thing for me !Fight back damn it.Did not get evil Tram today although I could get in car go 1 mile( sorry started crying  while writing this) and pick up 120 50 mgs Trams .Made the decision not to do it. The Bible  says Pride goeth before a fall, I was kinda proud of myself yesterday on day10( early part of the day) felt good physically and mentally and then WHAM! Right out of nowhere evil Tram does a major trip on my tiny head!This blows want this garbage to  p-off.One of the things that helped last night was when I remembered a Basic Buddist Tenet, Life is pain. Hope every one has a good night.         Later Bigman777                                  

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by sandie1977, Apr 22, 2009
hello,

Well, I am off work for the next four days.

Shade tree I am little bit behind you, but I plan to be tram-free by monday morning.  

Tomorrow I will start the one pill-in-a-24hour-period. I remember the Hell I went through going from 4 to 3 to 2 in a matter of 2 days. I gave my body a break and maintained 2 a day for the last 3 days.

But its time to kick it all together....

My boyfriend told me that I can take his T3's (from previous wisdom tooth extraction that was done 2 months ago) when I hit the 12 hour mark tomorrow, instead of one tramadol. Hope that helps the w/d a little.

I bought advill Pm last night, popped 2 and wrapped my legs in VERY TIGHT BANDAGES last night. Boyfriend said he didnt feel the karate moves last night. He's going to try and ditch the armor tonight and snuggle with me.  ARMOR = big fat pillows down the middle of bed dividing us!!!

Things I found that helped:

ace bandages
advil pm's
screaming in car
crying
walking...walking...walking
staying busy
motrin is my best friend
Coca Cola (would've said coke but I thought you would get wrong idea!)    :))
talking to everyone I know about situation
planning ahead of different things I need to accomplish (helps battle depression)
naps - when able to do so
rocking


New symptoms:

sneezing
diarrhea
sadness (feeling of doom)
ringing of the ears

Not so new symptoms:

sweats - but hardly ever
chills - all the time (its 80 degrees and I am wearing thermal underwear, sweats and a hoodie)
legs are worst right now (restless legs syndrome)
tired
insomnia
no pain
dizziness

Things I've read about and not expierenced or dont recognize within myself

Brain fog

Hillbilly : Congrats on the little arrival! With a new life, there is hope.

On a flip side, I work as a nurse in an all women's facility and tonight I delivered a baby boy to an inmate! I was scared, elated, excited, worried, sad (because I want another of my own and refuse until I am tram-free) aww'ed, etc. But like you hillbilly, I didn't even think about a trammie!  

Yes.. with new life there is new hope...

Best wishes on everyone here and praying for all of you.

Good night

Sandie







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by kevzx81, Apr 23, 2009
Hey Beeb-Thats a great reality check-"we gotta do what we can,where we are,with what we have." Not a joyful truth perhaps, but one life has confronted me with many times. Good luck with whatever strategy you use.

Ultra-good to hear from you again. I think that maybe 'looking far ahead' is what can defeat us. Im off Tramadol 100ish days now (im useless with dates). I did that one day at a time.Now Im dealing with post tram pain the same way. If I look ahead the only certainty is probably my pain but that doesnt mean that I know what my future will be like/feel like. To be honest the future has always scared me sh*tless so I dont look at it much lol. Life is what happens DESPITE our plans.
As Emily says, future tripping can cause problems. We are like the passenger on a train who only sees what is alongside us. By turning our heads we can see slightly ahead but then suddenly the track may curve and the view changes dramatically. I think we are the passenger, the train AND the track!!  Healing energy to you Ultra.

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by beeb16, Apr 23, 2009
good to hear from you kev.

i took a vicoden about an hour ago. didn't do **** for my pain, but
sure got rid of my slight depression and anxiety!
Going into day 9 for me and still a little cloudy and anxious, but all
in all pretty good.
I have been feeling like a passenger on a train. Just kinda going along
with what life brings.It's the tramadol that made me just want to sit
and enjoy the ride.Now the ride has/is taking me to a scary place i don't
want to go, and it's scaring the **** outta me!
I should have got off long ago.

New feelings i can't even explain have started to pop up.
My dad died may 2007 and i never grieved, not one tear. Now it's all
coming back, why didn't i cry? was i that cold/hard? It was the tram
.
That's the danger of this drug, it mask's reality,
feelings are given to us for a reason.
If were taking tram it's covers those feelings.
I feel like i lived a life that i wasn't even there for. Just going through the motions.

more later, beeb

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by beeb16, Apr 23, 2009
I gotta mention something here about using certain drugs to get
off tramadol.
Some have mentioned vicoden, I think UPS mentioned oxcarbezepine
but i gotta relate a story i heard from a nurse and also a person who
has successfully gotten OFF tramadol. They both recommended
something called Amatriptalyne (elavil) they said it was not habit forming
and they slept like a baby Early in their w/d's.
any body have exp. with this? Ive been reading that it's used for
depression.and pain.
Although i don't have depression on a regular basis, i sure do have pain.

beeb

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by EmilyPost, Apr 23, 2009


Hi Everyone,

Awweee Congrats to you HillBilly!

Welcome any of you who are new. Special empathy to our newly off Tramadol friends. ((((((hugs)))))))) It'll be ok. I was on Tramadol for many years and I had a rough detox-withdrawal and I'm ok now. You'll be ok. I promise. I hear you; I've been there and eventually it ends. One day you wake up and all the Tramadol is gone :D

Beeb (which is a nickname for several of my cats and my Beloved Mister Emily and probably everyone I love has been called this by me for years!), you wrote, "I remember that saying " A coward dies a thousand deaths, A hero only one"
i worry about it, and worry about it and it causes me pain every time i think about getting off the ****!
I'll do it next week, or on vacation, or when it's a full moon etc.. each worry is like dying another death.
instead of just saying "screw this" tomorrow i quit!"

Yes, the worry and putting it off and more worry caused me pain. Worry and hesitation caused me more pain than any plan to do XY&Z. Worry is toxic and taking action is the cure.

Welcome Spacey. Holy He$$; 6 surgeries? Glad you found us! And yes, the Divine is always watching us ESP in "troubled times."

As to the rampant Consumerism; I have a few theories. It's very possible that Tramadol effects the Frontal Lobe of the brain where Impulse Control is managed. Seeing my room so incredibly STUFFED with STUFF (and nice stuff at that) is a huge reminder of how bad my "I'm on DRUGS" blackout got. I really barely remember buying this stuff.

I kind of wonder, if maybe the attempt to BUY HAPPINESS was a desperate attempt to reverse what Tramadol stole from me. It really seemed crucial to me that I HAVE XY&Z and NOW! Now! And then it sat in the box and the bag and now a year, two years later I struggle to remember WHY I even have any of this stuff. Like Shopping Amnesia ...


Amityptilyine(ELAVIL) made me want to die. In a week. It gave me crazy strong Suicidal Ideation.  It was also a tiny tiny dose. It was for chronic pain and sleep. I took it for two weeks and then flushed it.


Fred it does come thru that you are a sensitive soul and it's really such a strength to be sensitive. Not easy; but wonderful. And the alternative is so awful to me. I am sorry your Boss is um ... dumb. What a ridiculous thing he said! ((((((Fred))))))))) Perhaps there is no accounting for other people. Or ... (I don't claim to know the rest of that story) Know that we all love and support you and are amazed to have your friendship.

Kev the story of your ex ... made me so very angry for you. I am so sorry that Happened. and I agree that ... this is not a world to go sleepwalking in. I think for me, the abuse, neglect and abandonment of people who are in pain is ... so unthinkable and so cruel. It gets me, you know? I consider it to be, unthinkable horrible. In my book one of the worst things humans can do. Lack of Empathy scares me. I hope I never become so unkind.

As to me, I am somewhat better and also really tired. It's 8 or 9 days for me, off everything.

KC I haven't forgotten about you and your questions, give me a little more time to answer Dear One. You are doing so well. ((((KC))))) You aren't crazy; you are just tapering Xanax.

Love and healing,
Em



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by FinallyFred, Apr 23, 2009
Hello All,  

Welcome new comers just finding this place and special hugs to those just jumping off this evil drug.  

Emily, thanks for your kind thoughts/words.  All things considered, I have a pretty good gig and my boss typically leaves me to my own things.  It's rare that he weighs in on anything that I do.  It's just that on those rare occassions when he does have something to say, I expect more thoughtful criticism.  I on to othe things at the moment.

I am attempting to leave town on vacation Saturday and I won't have my laptop with me next week (by design).  But you guys are terribly capable of caring for one another while I am away.

As long as I can recall, I have had an irrational need to be ENTIRELY 100% caught up on all my work before I leave on any vacation.  I can't seem to be caught up at any other time except immediately before leaving town on VA.  So I'm working 16 hours a day this week to make that irrational need happen.  This week it's a deeper yank than normal to clear the decks.

What's that got to do with TRAMADOL,  Fred?  

Although I returned to work on day 7 after cold turkey withdrawal from this drug in early December, I was EXTREMELY inefficient and unproductive those first weeks back.   And I'll bet that it took two months or more before my focus and concentration returned to my prior self.  As a result, I have been doing work recently that should have been done months ago.  But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now.  

So to those of you in your first week of recovery, hang in there.  Because with EACH passing moment that you put between "now" and your last dose of this awful drug, you are s l o w l y returning to the person you thought you had lost.  

And to those of you a few weeks or a month out from that last  lovely little white pill, symptoms you are feeling now will continue to subside with time.  You'll see.  I promise.  

Hillbilly, congratulations on that new baby boy.  Relapse never needs to be in your future, you know.  Which means your son will always know the kind, funny, warm person you became again, just in time.  

Sandie and Shade - You guys are setting out on the best hard journey of your life.  Keep that vision before you  of what this drug took from you.  It may take every ounce of anger and determination you cam muster to defeat this drug.  WAR cries help.  

Beeb, yes, this drug masks reality alright.  And it's really common to be overcome with unexplained sadness, laughter, grief, sneezing, etc. as the fog lifts.  It's really a precious gift - reality.  

Spacey - Glad you found us today.  yup, this place is like a wellspring in the wilderness.  I know that I was entirely blown away to find out that my tramadol trouble was not a UNIQUE problem I had to battle on my own.  The first words out of my mouth when I found this forum were, "this place just MAY save my life".  Indeed, it has SAVED me.  

When I come back and see you newer folks fighting so hared and overcoming the hold that this drug once had on you, it keeps me clean and sober another day.  It's not altogether altruisic that some of us hang around you know.  Your posts are keeping me sober today, so thank you.

***
So much in life, and in our battle with this drug is outside our control.   But if we stay focused on doing what we can do (don't use today), we have a shot at life.  

Each of us has BEEN defeated by this drug, time and time again.  We simply cannot let our past losses/failures to dictate what is POSSIBLE  for us in this moment we call "the present".  

Determination to not be ruled by our past failures is illustrated by something I wrote about those first feeble days of my own cold turkey WAR on the trams.  I noted that I had been controlled by this drug, one day at a time, for six years.  By my calculations, it was something like 2,190 straight days of defeats or losses.  But I proclaimed better days ahead, when on my second day off the drug, I declared my win-loss record to be 2 wins - and- 2,190 losses.  Not a pretty record to be sure, but it was a start.  

I picture the day when my days off tramadol will exceed my days on the drug, but that's a few years off.  Today, my record is something like 145 wins -and- 2,190 losses.  Still not a record WORTHY of even coaching a U8 girls soccer team.  But it's a START.

Your success today need not be dictated by the failures of the past.  I have faith to believe that what others could do here, you can as well.  And relapse doesn't need to be a part of your story.  

Courage Strength and Love,

Fred

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by suzipen, Apr 23, 2009
Hi Everyone!

I hve been away for a while, but you guys still in my thoughts quite a bit.
I am so glad to see all the new people here.

This place saved me from tramadol, and its so nice to see that Emily (and others of couse) are still helping.
I am still free of tramadol- Thank God!!  There have been times, I hate to admit, that I could have slipped.
But every time I think of taking it, I think of all the He** I went thru to rid myself of it, and that keeps me clean.

I have access to it via a friend, and there are times when I will have a flare up of pain (endometriosis), and I know tram relieves
it. BUT, I know how easy it is to get pulled back under the spell.

SO, today, I am tram-free.

Big shout out to all my old buddies here!! And a big HI and welcome to all the newbies!!

HUGE ((((((((hugs)))))))))) to all of you!  I am so glad to be back..............I missed this place.

love,suzi

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by suzipen, Apr 23, 2009
Hey!!! CONGRATS Hillbilly!  Babies are pure love.  So happy for you!

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by Shadetree, Apr 23, 2009
Hi guys,

Day 2 for me. I suprisingly (sp, wish there was a spell check...lol) slept 8 hours last night. I am still lightheaded, and feel crazy (dont know how else to describe it) with each step when I walk. I did take a couple darvocets last night, which help tremindously. Someone mentioned the loratab helped them.... I think the opaites help mask the withdrawls. So its nice to hav to get ya through the toughest part. While I hav always liked reg opaites, I dont fear addiction to them. I was addicted to tramadol, alot for the energy it gave me. And the availablility of them.

Anyway off work today which is a big releif. I did start taking my wellbuterin this morning. Hopefully it will start going to work, but the fact is I cant start fighting the depression until I stop taking stuff altogether (darvocet) because it is a never ending battle. I am eating my weight in food...lol I think its safe to say my appetie is back and trying to make up for lost time.

There really is alot more I want to say, but I dont have time right now. I will be back soon...

~Shadetree



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by kevzx81, Apr 23, 2009
Emily-Thank you for your kind words. I agree with all my heart when you say" the abuse, neglect and abandonment of people who are in pain is ... so unthinkable and so cruel."  This is the prime reason I wont watch tv. I simply cannot bear what I see there. Really truly cannot bear it. I agree also that lack of empathy is scary. It explains why humans are able to use the suffering of others as entertainment. I'll get 'killing mad' if I keep on......breathe....must see how the spinach is doing etc....have a great day Emily.

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 23, 2009
hi, everyone,

this is my third day and how badly i've wanted to get back on them.  i never thought the mental part would be so tough.  i know i could just take 3 or 4 and i would feel tramanormal again and i could have my life back.  right now all i want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep....sleep until it's all gone and i wake up to my normal self.  


But then i have to ask myself what is my normal self??  I'm not even sure I know anymore.  Just hope it's someone that everyone still loves.

third day blues

struggling

hillbilly - congrats on the baby they are so precious.

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by sandie1977, Apr 23, 2009
Hello,

I slept last night. Albeit, 3 solid hours but it was continuous! Today starts my FINAL COUNTDOWN. I will not take another pill until 11pm tonight. That will make it a solid 24 hours.  I will try to post later today when the withdrawls are the worst. So I can journal the at-the-moment-stuff.

Shadetree - I get on here to review your notes and your giving me strength to continue this madness of coming down. Congrats on day two!  I almost messed up yesterday, such a rough day at work and I kept thinking I'm off for 4 days straight I can take two right now (the count for day would have been 4) and I can re ween myself. Just so I can deal with the pressure of work. I fought that urge.

I am happy I did...

Strugglingnewbie- I hear you LOUD AND CLEAR! I have often thought, what IF people dont like me after drug withdrawls? Who am I really? What if I become a raging lunatic or quiet-in-the-corner person?  I can't seem to remember my life before Tramadol. Well... I remember having a husband who was and (still is) a jerk (to put so VERY nicely) and I have two children and remember highlights. But I honestly, believe this medication robbed me of 3 years of my life.

FinallyFred- Thank you, you wrote: "You guys are setting out on the best hard journey of your life", I honestly, and possibly selfishly hope that I am not here in a month talking about... brain fog... and this is not a good day for me...still fighting depression... I hope to have kicked this medication to the curb and be done with it. But according to the other posters here that is not likely to happen. So I also come here to read your very sympathetic posts. It does cheer me up and gives me hope that one day (hopefully near future) I will be tramiee free and w/d free!

Suzipen- congrats on staying sober. It must be hard knowing that its only a phone call away for you.  I praise your strength and will power to "just say no!" as my children tell me.  

Did I ever tell you guys that after I stop and can manage the side effects of tramadol w/d I am going to quit smoking?  

I am adament about kicking all bad things to the curb and starting my life back.  I can't undue all the things I have done to myself in my 31 years of life, but I intend to take care of myself from here on out.  

good luck and bless you!

sandie


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by ultraumatized, Apr 23, 2009
hi kev, thanks for the words of support...it's good to hear you've stayed clean & good to see some familiar faces still hanging around!

beeb...i got an rx for elavil a couple months ago just for coming off of ultram.  i started taking it at night the day after i took my last tramadol (monday was my last day on trams) & between it & the lortab i'm sleeping fine & not doing so bad overall, just a little tired & rundown.  i took elavil for about a year several years ago & tolerated it well...but everyone is different.  i don't plan to stay on it that long...i have enough for about 2-3 months, so i'm just going to take it slow & see if i will continue to need it once the worst of all this is over.

personally i've set a goal of 90 days ultram free.  i've never been able to go more than a month (give or take a day or two), but i did read somewhere that it only takes 90 days to form a new habit...so i'm hoping that by 90 days i can convince myself to just keep staying sober.  in some ways i'm pretty much going to be forced into this new sobriety.  one of the docs that proscribed ultram for me moved his practice this past month & the other (who also prescribes lortab, which for me is the ONLY thing i've found to stop withdrawals) will no longer be available by the middle of may...so no more scripts.  i refuse to order online anymore because i have hidden my use from EVERYONE & if my boyfriend found out i'm afraid it would cause major problems...i don't want that.  my outlook on taking drugs has changed a lot during this last round of abuse...i think i'm ready to see the world in a new way.  lots of changes are getting ready to happen in my life & i would like to come at them from a different angle..i hope it works.  i'm optimistic.

good luck everyone!

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by noodlegrl, Apr 23, 2009
Day 29 - *dances*

Fred - You say "Although I returned to work on day 7 after cold turkey withdrawal from this drug in early December, I was EXTREMELY inefficient and unproductive those first weeks back.   And I'll bet that it took two months or more before my focus and concentration returned to my prior self.  As a result, I have been doing work recently that should have been done months ago.  But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now."

I can relate so well to this... the fog that Tramadol put me in for a year (although that fog was not known to me until it fully turned on me and then I came here and LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT IT) pretty much put most of my time management efficientness at a halt. The only things I could manage to do were the things that HAD to be done 5 MINUTES AGO. If it was anything I could possibly do "at my leisure" I managed to take enough time doing the stuff that HAD to be done 5 MINUTES AGO to not have time to do the stuff that was "at my leisure", for instance filing! I had at least 6 months of filing on my desk!!! And you know what, I got my a$$ in gear this week and its almost all finished!!!! If you combine the hours it probably adds up to less than 5 hours of work =P I was soooo speedy doing it. I was so TIRED of looking at it, I am like just DO it already! So I did, and it feels sooo good! Now will the evil Tram gone I will not get that behind again. I am glad no one really noticed how not efficient I was being. I am almost back to normal now though :)

Oh, and Vacay huh... so where are we goin?? :)

And about being sensitive - being sensitive can be exhausting. I am like an emotional sponge (minus the time on tram - which maybe A reason I took tram in the first place, I think it is, so I could be numb from the intensity). For those around me that I care about if they are feeling something I feel it too. Like sympathy pains for a husband when wife is in labor - except with emotions whether it be happy, sad, depressed, anger - sometimes if its really intense I may need to distance myself to get my bearings/hold on the situation where I can think clearly or I will be dragged waaaaaaay down. A old friend of mine who is very in touch with her spirituality had a label for me, an empathic. Since the tram is gone I'm starting to be sensitive and insecure again. Just another of my many issues to work on.

During my withdrawal, I was so scared to take any opiates. I had this complex like if I took one it was going to increase the tramadol inside me and make me worse. I had gotten a couple Lortabs before I jumped off the Tram train to help me "just in case" and even when the anxiety got SO BAD I thought I was going to lose the battle I would look at the tabs and tuck tail and run. I ended up giving them back to who gave them to me. And now, I am proud of that. But if its what helps someone get off the Trampooh I say more power to ya! Just please be careful (I don't know how many it takes to get addicted to those and don't wanna find out).

Beep - yep, when clarity starts to come, you start to feel all these feelings start to pour in. Like during the time on tram all the feelings were being put in a bucket to ferment and when tram is gone the bucket is dumped on you and because the feelings have fermented you feel them more intensely (at least for me). But it is very important to let yourself FEEL everything, validate it, and set it free or "come to terms" with it. You will feel a burden lifted and therefore happier and healthier!

BVD - yes, anxiety gets much better. I have a little when something stressful happens but it is NO WHERE near what it was at the beginning of withdrawal or even what it was BEFORE tram. Its like my brain chemistry has leveled out to be better than pre-tram. I hope so anyway :)

YAY Emily and KC and Shade and Suzi and Beep and Jooler and Kev and Sandie and Fred and Bigman and TRAM WARRIORS EVERYWHERE!! "You CAN do IT!!!" ;) (Sorry if I missed someone, I am thinking of you all)

*Hugs to everyone* Keep up the awesome work!

Off to finish my filing - will try to be back later :)

~Noodle



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by noodlegrl, Apr 23, 2009
Struggling - taking 3 or 4 will not give your life back - it will continue to take it away. You must be strong for your LIFE!! The worst will be over in just a couple more days! You will not believe how much better you will feel! We are all rooting for you!!!!! Remember Rob Schneider "You CAN do IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*Big Big HUGS!*

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 23, 2009
Thank you so much for your words of encouragment.  This has been the hardest three days of my life and now my brain is in a complete fog.   I don't even think i could drive right now.  And I'm so thankful I have a wonderful husband AND mother who is helping me throuh this.  God has looked out for me so many times in my life and this is just another example of him being here to pick me up, by bringing these angels into it.  (including every single one of you on here who has shared your stories)

one last question - has anyone had blurry vision while withdrawing?

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by Shadetree, Apr 23, 2009
Hey guys Im back...

Along with me being home my 5yr old is home with me (unexpectedly) my babysitter's little one is sick...so not as quite as I was hoping for. She goes to prek for a couple hrs this afternoon, looks like thats all Im gonna get. My husband is off tomorrow, we will see if I get any support or help from him. (He only thinks Im sick) even though Im by his side whether he is sick or having surgery, it is quite different when the shoe is on the other foot. Which makes me terribly sad... That was one off our issues when we were seperated recently. well about 8 months ago now....4 being thanks to tramadol.

Noodle love the emotions in a bucket picture...that is exactly how I feel. Im actually a little worried about it to be honest. There are issues in our realationship that I am sure will come to a head now. I coulda cared less while I was on tram. Nothin mattered, I had tram to deminish any worries, bad, sad feelings. ...

I am still very light headed, and havent any depression yet. very suprising. I feel ok. Not as terrible as I would have guessed. Tonight is another story tho....sleep?

Sandie, Im so glad you are getting encouragement from my posts, I am from you as well.  and GREAT job not giving in yesterday! I know how hard that is, I hav absolutely no control. That is why I had to let myself run out. because it would consume me until I gave in. I sware as soon as the thought would pop in to my head about taking more, I would think about, debate about it until I did it, then I could get on with my day. I would have to leave them at home, if they were in my purse, there was no hope. And even then I have made a few trips home....sad I know, but that is just how much control i dont have when it comes to tramadol. So I admire your strength very much! I have to admit with my present situation and all the emotions coming that I have suppressed for so long, my brain is already calculating "when" I could get back on....I definately do not plan to & I know it is the  "voices" but scary. Because I know this is just the begining to the fight, ya know? I just hope that my plan to have my health "addiction" take hold works. Once I get healthy, and feeling great I wont want to...I hope : ? I have too quit smoking at the same as quiting tram. It was the only reason I smoked anyway. I really dont have the desire to otherwise, but when I started taking tramadol I started smoking like a pack every couple days....it enhanced the tram (or that is what it felt like anyway) So that is done too. I had one yesterday, and it was nasty. Also when my wellbutrin kicks in, I will hav absolutly no desire whatsoever....even if I see some one in a car smoking I get grossed out. I can see why drs give it (wellbuterin) to people to quit. I take it for depression but that is a bonus.) So congrats on that as well :)

Well gotta go for now, be back in a bit.

~Shadetree

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by EmilyPost, Apr 23, 2009
Oh yes, strugglingnewbie on and off blurry vision. Yes. Barely able to see at all in early withdrawal. Most recently, words popping out of the screen or off the page. That's normal for early withdrawal.

As to it being the hardest three days of your life; yes, also normal.

You can do it though and I am grateful you have support and love around you!


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by Shadetree, Apr 23, 2009
Emilly,

Do you know the risks with taking wellbuterin so soon after tramadol? I know they both lower your seizure threshold, but I dont really understand exactly. This is my 2nd day off tramadol, & I took wellbuterin today. I cant differentiate what Im feeling with the w/d's...

Thanks,
~Shade

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by sandie1977, Apr 23, 2009
hello,

I have hit 14 1/2 hours with out medication...

symtpoms:

irritability
tired (getting worse by minute)
increasingly hard to stay motivated and continue with laundry
col d swearts
dizziness
waek
headache is coming on
cooridination is messed up

apparently the ability to type correctly is comprismed allso. I will not correct my spelling to give posters here a "feeling" of what the FINAL COUNTDOWN is like.

more later...
sandie

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by noodlegrl, Apr 23, 2009
Shade - I know the feeling about smoking while taking tramadol - that was always the first thing I did after I chewed up a tram. And since quitting trams I want to quit smoking also but .. dang, tough habit to break. I smoke about a pack a day. I go through cycles where about every 2-3 months they taste nasty - like I get a defective pack or something and I am hoping the next time that happens I will have the strength to put them down forever (should be coming up soon if the cycle persists)... that is something I know I will have to CT. Can't afford the damn gum to quit =P How sad is that ... *sigh*

I also know about "when the shoe is on the other foot". Not with my Mr. Noodle but with my ex. That is a subject of a million complexes, dysfunctions, bad stuff. So.. we won't go there other than to say "That's not good :(" .

*Hugs to all*

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 23, 2009
Thanks Emily for in the insight.  Please tell me the fog lifts fairly soon too.  I've been so thankful that i don't have any of the rest legs and arms today it's made today so much bearable.

Struggling

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by 2Sue, Apr 23, 2009
hi to you all, you are taking me down memory lane.im 32 days tram free and symptoms from blurred vision, sneezing anxiety deprssion...coffee...dry mouth.... all to do with tram leaving body.....say goodbye...youll be over the worst soon.WELL DONE.

Fred thanks. i still have memory probs and concentration probs, but hoping things still improve...
noodle, im feeling sensitive paranoid and insecure..is this tram too.or it could be just me now.

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by EmilyPost, Apr 23, 2009
The fog Will lift struggling (I sorta want an actual name to call you ... I dont want to call you struggling cause eventualy you won't be struggling)

Ok so KC wrote and asked me what I was doing for anxiety. I'm taking Propananol. Infrequently. And at a low dose.

I don't have the level of anxiety that I did while I was on Tramadol and a myriad of pills, specifically at the end here Klonopin. It took me about 6 months to taper off Klonopin. And the whole time I would have good hours and good days and then bad days. I had several days of not being able to function at all. Everything spun, I got dizzy, I was agoraphobic. People freaked me out. I freaked me out. Lost the ability to locate words, write, think. It was bad. I also am a bit emotionally blunted and I'm a little tired f being such a B-I Itch! One of my biggest realizations while the taper was on was that if I DIDN'T SPEAK it would be ok. Impulse control was really low.

Now, Klonopin is a really bad drug. They shouldn't be giving people Benzos at all, unless for two weeks or less and even then, the person should be in a life or death situation. It's not appropriate and it's insane how difficult it is to taper off the Klonopin. I had a Doctor who was completely ridiculous and not helpful. I actually think that the "helpful" Doctor is now gone. I think maybe the Culture has an idea of Doctors that no longer exists. I'm a more than a little bitter about the Drug Trip I was placed on for "Chronic Pain." The Tramadol and the Klonopin eventually turned on me, as all drugs seem to, and tried to destroy me.  So annoying. And by the way, I am starting to have serious doubts about the diagnosis of Chronic Pain since we have Doctors all over writing out scripts for Tramadol which absolutely increases pain. I was taking pills that CREATED The Chronic Pain and this is terrible! It shouldn't have happened. There's no excuse for a Doctor to be ignorant. I often see "Oh they didn't know ... " floated about as an excuse for destroying a person's life with Tramadol or Benzos. Simply; I shouldn't know more than the Doctor I am PAYING. I just shouldn't.

KC you wrote that it takes a year to recover from Benzos? That was not at all what I have read or experienced. I see several websites that frankly, shouldn't exist as their sole purpose seems to be to terrify the already terrified person tapering off a Benzo. I never found a supportive website. I found instead a huge amount of chaos and misinformation. The fact is a huge number of people on the sites are mixing a huge number of antidepressants and have been for many years as well as Benzos. There's no options and choice for those people. It's sad and tragic. But they can't get the resources needed from their Doctors.

I had to laugh when there was a "Moderator" on another site who was taking 4 times the amount of Klonopin and an antidepressant and basically anything available in pill form and she was giving me advice about tapering. Honestly; Insanity. The Interwebs on the Computer Machine ... a strange land. So; don't believe anything you read without a good solid source. If withdrawal lasts past 6 months; that's seriously rare and not normal. Post Actute Withdrawal Symptoms (PAWS) is rare. My feeling is that there is also several drugs involved with PAWS.

The symptoms since I have been off Klonopin are decreasing and I feel happy to say that I am NOT going to be all messed up from pills for much longer. It's good.

:D



I had days where I honestly felt like dying and days where I was functioning. I now believe that if anything I tapered off too slowly. But of course, if I had listened to the Very Well Qualified Dr. Groovy, I would still be on Klonopin. They have a vested interest in keeping people hooked.

Love and Healing,
Emily

PS. Shade I have no experience with antidepressants. So I don't know the answer. Of course I am wondering who put you on an antidepressant while you are de-toxing from Tramadol? It's already such a scary time I am not sure I'd want to add an antidepressant to the mix. ESP with the Black Box Warnings ... which is as scary as they are allowed to get with our extremely powerful Drug Companies running the USA. But Shade, your mileage may vary.

My feeling about withdrawal is that people recover faster if they have less drugs, but within some kind of reason. I'm not going to say that I approve of people self medicating. But it happens. There's alot of reasons to get someone reasonable involved.

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by sandie1977, Apr 23, 2009
16 1/2 hours since last dose-

symptoms are :

crying for no reason
cold and hot flashes
worried
anxious
bored
feel tired, but restless
no energy
I feel a sensation of heaviness esp. around my chest and stomach area.

Seriously debating about not taking a pill at 12 midnight tonight and just being done with it and use my next 3 days to face the hell I hear others post on here.

I think I feel the "FOG" could someone tell me what they define "fog" to mean?

On a personal note, babysitter called me earlier and told me she cant get my kids from school. I lied and told her I have to work tonight. I told ex to get them. I feel guilty for not wanting to be with them right now.  I cant possibly imagine being "happy" and "energetic" tonight. Just the idea of typing this note is tiring, but I stated earlier that I was going to journal the "feelings" of side effects today and probably tomorrow too.

If this is annoying to read let me know.
If this is helping anyone let me know.

sandie

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by sandie1977, Apr 23, 2009
neighbor upstairs is moving around a lot and the creaks and bangs are literally making me jump out of my skin....


is this paranoia???

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by Shadetree, Apr 23, 2009
Thanks Emily....Im not going to continue to take the wellbuterin until Im totally detoxed from the tram. Im just trying to get the depression before it gets me. Ive been on it for years. 5 to be exact and I havent had one "bad" side effect from it that I have recongnized anyway. So I stopped taking it while I was on tramadol because of the interactions. I have spoke to a couple of pharmacists that have told me it is ok to take it while on tramadol....Ummm not so much, I dont think so.  There is a interaction even after quiting tram...so Im just gonna get through the detox before I take anymore.

My symptoms as of day 2 afternoon are: low energy ~ lightheaded ~ cold....freezing & its 75 degrees where I am ~ ears ringing (cant tell untill it is quit though) ~ Unsatisfyable hunger..lol ~ Hard to focus far away (almost dizzy feeling when I try) ~achy ~ short fused ~ irritable

Sandie your posts help me, you are doing great, and I totally understand about not wanting to be with your kids right now.... I wish my mom would call and say "can I have the kids tonight? I miss them, dont worry Ill feed and bath them before bringing them home right in time for bed" lol... But that wont happen, so I will put on my happy face & they wont be the wiser. They just know Mommy doesnt feel good...(I really feel like a loser for putting them though this) That alone will be enough to keep me from relapsing. So I guess live and learn and do better, right? :)

Ttys~Shade



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by beeb16, Apr 23, 2009
day 9 here.
sandie i wrote in one of my posts about not wanting to be with my grankids.
i felt really guilty,but got over it when i thought about the benefits of the long term
sobriety. In those early days everything was a struggle,even "stretching" in my chair
caused muscle fatigue.Just know it gets better,less of this, less of that and pretty
soon normal functioning comes back.

emily i agree with the **** of MIS information thats out there!
P.A.W.S  is one of them. Some said i would have lingering effects for up to
a year.  Others said 2 years,Then others said 8 months and so on.
I was once clean for 24 days and felt absolutely NO lingering effects, that
is probably why i went back to using.But what i'm trying to say is everybody's
different. Nobody can attach a "3 months" to get off benzo's label on anybody!
I'll bet some can do it quickly and others feel they need a long, never ending taper.

I usually smoke between 1 and 3 cigarettes a day. But since april 14 (ct day)
i havent had one.Some people i know would absolutely NOT be able to quit even
though they only smoke 5 cigs. or less per day.
Everyones different!

I have been reading emily's journals  and also about benzo's, I can tell you people have absolutely
gotten off them and returned to normalcy, Others have switched to a different anti-depressant and returned
to normalcy.

What i'm trying to say is the brain is an incredible thing!
It wants to and can return to normal, despite what all the "nay sayers" spout
about "paws" and "permanent damage"

My older brother was telling me about the 60s and how hippie's dropped acid and
took this or smoked that. and how now most of em are lawyers or proffesionals now.
They never could have believed of a term called "paws" or "brain rewiring" so they just
moved forward.

The mind believes what WE tell it.

more later.
beeb

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by ultraumatized, Apr 23, 2009
i would like to hear from some veterans who have been off tramadol for over 30 days.  that's usually my breaking point, so i'd like to know how you felt, when things started to feel "right" again & what your feelings are about where you're at now.

several months ago fred & i talked about a support group for people who had been off of ultram for an extended period of time after a long history of using or abusing.  i was wondering if anyone has found a place like that?  i know most people here are just at the beginning of the journey, as am i, but i wonder also if there is help anywhere after the initial phases of withdrawal have passed?

i am really determined to make a clean break this time, but i've been determined before & failed when things got tough.  

as for taking any sort of opiate to alleviate the symptoms, i definitely don't suggest that for everyone.  my personal experience has been that my body processes those drugs differently than it does tramadol & i don't feel as susceptible  to becoming addicted to a different drug if taken for a short amount of time.  i have only been taking lortab for 3 days (since i stopped trams) & will probably end that by saturday.  again tho, that's my personal experience...i know substituting one drug for another may seem like cheating, but to me it is worth a small cheat to avoid the full painful withdrawal experience.

sandie - i also understand the need to be alone during this time.  while the method i'm using is helping, i still feel like h*ll & my attitude is totally in the toilet right now.  i had to upset my daughter earlier by asking she spend another couple of nights with her grandmother while i "get better".  still, it's important to care for yourself now & you'll have more quality time to make up with those you love soon...

i hope the best for everyone.

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 23, 2009
Again I would be lost without the wonderful hubby and mom who are there to help take care of my child.  Thank goodness i only have one that young.  

i'm on day 3 of my cold turkey detox and it's no joke, but i actually had a brief, tiny, tiny, tiny, glimmer of my old self.  the one before the pain killers took over and squashed.  i wish it had lasted longer and hadn't been previewed by the first case of rest less arms and legs today.  that was brutal. probably my worst physical problem.  but that glimmer reminded me why i was doing it.  

thank you all
shanna

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by noodlegrl, Apr 23, 2009
Sandie - you are fine. I love reading your posts because they are very real and honest. (I've had people tell me that and I was like lol yea right, but I can see that it is true because I love all of ya'lls posts [lol ya'll yay for Southerners!]. So keep posting! I can also relate to the kids thing... it gets better though.

Wow, glad ya'll know something about PAWS. I was fearing WD flare ups with the Moon Cycles (read that somewhere) for the next year =/ Learn something new everyday.

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by beeb16, Apr 23, 2009
I hear you guys!

It's funny how EASY it is to say NO to our kids when were on tramadol.
"dad can i go to so and so's house?"  NO!
"can i do this?" NO!
but during w/d's we feel so guilty about the slightest little thing.

I rember the fatigue and paranoia.on days 2 and 3 . Just 100 percent tired.from head to toe.
everything was a chore,feeling like i wanted to lay down,feeling like i wanted to nap.
but sleep wouldn't come. But when i woke up on day 5 suddenly i saw a small
bit of energy, then day 6,then 7.

i'm on day 9 today and feel about 90 percent my old self. some lingering depression ad
anxiety but nothing i cant handle.
by the time i hit day 12  a new week will be starting!

i wish i could make the "time" pass faster for all of you in early wd's


beeb

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 23, 2009
beeb
that is so encouraging!  I'm not sure i could keep going without some light at the end of the tunnel.

and miracle of miracles my stomach just growled.  i haven't been hungry since before the detox.  now if i could just get my head to feel normal.

thanks for all the posts today.

shanna aka strugglingnewbie

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by BVD660, Apr 23, 2009
Today is day 10, but this day has come with a price as did yesterday when this started. Thoughts and feelings of sadness and anger from the past that I don't think I have ever processed.

I know some of you have talked about this before, about losing a loved one, or being abandoned. Talks of not being able to process your feelings or emotions while on tramadol.

It was 8 years ago that my wife was killed in a car accident and left me to raise our two young children. Being clean for 10 days now as the fog has been slowly lifting from my brain, I realize it was only a few weeks after she died that I was injured and was put on ultram.  At the time I don't think I really noticed how numb I became and closed off to the feelings of loss and grief that I should have been processing.

So for the past 8 years I have raised my kids alone in an ultram fog and haze, living in a tiny bubble, closed off from my feelings and the real world.  I've become antisocial over the years, abandoned my own friends when they tried to help me/us through hard times.  I know now this was because of what tramadol did to me.  I lost my interest in everything, looked forward to nothing, and watched the clock until I could take my next dose.  I'm such an a**hole, I can't believe it.

No one knows I was taking ultram, not my kids, my friends (that I had), or my family.  Therefore, nobody knows what I've been going through the last ten days except you guys.  It's been my only shoulder and I appreciate each one of you tremendously.

I'll get through this with your help.

On a lighter note, today at work I was approached by my boss who told me that I had two hours to put a presentation together of a project I've been working on.  It was for three of the bigwigs of the company that were in town touring our facility.

So here I am, already with this awful anxiety and panic attacks that make me sweat, then freeze...  and now I have to do this during my tramadol withdrawal????  This kind of thing happens...NEVER for me.  All I could think of is why now???

Needless to say, I lived through it.  Lets just hope nothing like that happens again for at least a couple more weeks.

Thanks everyone!



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by Shadetree, Apr 23, 2009
Hey guys,

BVD ~ Im with ya, no one around me knows what is going on with me... Just you guys, this place has saved me. I know it is said over & over again....because its sooo true. I seriously dont know where I would be right now if I hadnt found this place months ago.
Im sorry about your loss, I cant even imagine what you must be going through...still. I will keep you in my prayers.

Well the children are fed. I cant tell you how relieved I feel...funny, huh? The regular everyday task took so much work.) But now Im back in the little nest I hav made in my couch. I need to do laundry, but yeah that can wait till tomorrow. Mr. Shadetree (ha ha I think that is so funny!) is working late tonight. Good night for that *sarcasim* I told the kids to entertain themselves & absolutley no fighting (yeah right), we will see how long that lasts..3 of them, I wont hold my breath...

My brain feels so off. If I move my eyes to fast its such a crazy feeling, I cant even really describe it. When I get up and walk its like dizzy spells right behind my eyeballs & magnifies with my pulse. I was worried driving today, I have avoided going around the lake ever since my car accident. I take different "safer" routes just in case... But glad to say soon I wont have to worry about that anymore.

I have been getting boughts of like euphoria. Only for a couple of seconds, but its nice I guess Im not complaining about it. I guess its my brain chemicals getting back to normal. Has anyone else experienced this?

Fred ~ Going on vacation, huh? Lucky...where  to? I have to admit when I read that you were'nt gonna be around,  I selfishly thought "aww man" lol you are one of my biggest supports/comforts here... But Im glad you get to get away I hope you have tons of fun & relaxation. We'll b waiting to hear all about it.)

Well gotta go, my 5 yr old just had an accident in her pants...figures, huh?   duty calls...ha ha

~Shade


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by bigman777, Apr 23, 2009
Hi everbody Bignan777 here.Had an interesting day, went to Dr. feelgood and told him I was off Tram and why I quit how I had found a support site on line and how incredibly helpful it was.Discussed with him how in my opinion Tram much worse than regular opiates when it came to withdrawal and that I that  was not the only person who had that opinion .He  tried to hide it but the info seem to make him mad.While visiting brother today he told ,me I looked better than yesterday when we last talked and seemed much less spacey and foggy.Pain  at moderate level today.Just ignoring it! Have no desire for the evil Tram or any other opiate.    Still counting days,13 w/o it!Yeah! For all the people who are in the first week hang in there!It gets better, it really does.I kept reading that over and over and I really wanted to believe  but  part of me remained a little skeptical. So glad that paranoid part of me was wrong. Best to all. Later Bigman777

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by KC67, Apr 23, 2009
Emily:  Thank you for your post (above).  You are correct...the interweb sites that I visited scared the **** out of me and gave me so much conflicting advice that my head was spinning.  I have 2 more cuts of my benzo to make before I am completely off and I am uplifted that you said "6 months" vs. "1 year".  It has been very difficult this past week (anger, insomnia, irritability, anxiety - you name it!) and it is so comforting to know that it will be "ok".  Thank you - I hope someone is there for YOU as you continue to battle this withdrawal.  

Ultraumitized:  I am now 70+ days clean of Tramadol and I have to encourage you to stick it out to AT LEAST 45 days.  I began to feel better after day 7, but the depression and anxiety would rear its ugly head at random up until day 45.  Then from days 45-60, the bouts got fewer and far-between.  This stuff takes a while to get completely out of your system - "weeks and weeks" as Fred aptly put it.  So to address your question, I think you need to give it at least 60 days.  You mentioned that 30 days was your "breaking point".  That is tough, because at 30 days (for me), I was still struggling enough to be tempted to want to take one again.  I found that each day - past day 45 - got easier for me.  The desire to ever take one again was gone by day 60.  That's just my 2-cents.

Shadetree:  You are doing great.  Be careful with the antidepressants.  I have had very negative experiences with them.  They are an entirely different "animal" and have their own side effects, tolerance build-ups, and withdrawals.  I know they are very helpful to some people, but for me they created more problems.  Again, just my 2 -cents.

Noodle:  Can't believe you are on Day 29!!  Congrats!!!  I remember when you first posted.  It's hard to believe that 29 days have passed.  

The good news is that it can happen for ALL of us.  Each day that passes WITHOUT Trams is another day to celebrate and post your victory!  So do that....post your victory each and every day!!!!

Sincerely with hope and love,
KC



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by midvalehoffa, Apr 23, 2009

Hello and Thank You for creating this Thread Emily.

I use to come to this post every once in a while to just get some encouragement from poster's from time to time. I guess there is no real point to go through my horror story of coming of tramadol because I can honestly say that if you took every single withdrawal symptom posted I went through it myself. (And yes it was the hardest thing I have encountered in my life mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically)

I would just like to humbly post how I was able to do it and see if anybody can take whatever info they want from it and apply it, if it will help them.

By background with tramadol was 1 year of great delight of finding this drug. And 2 years abusing the drug. So I was on it for 3 years. With my highest abuse point at 12 pills a day (50MG).

Now I am only on my 9th day of being tramadol FREE!!!!. So take as much of my info as lightly as you like. But it really, really has helped me (Thank God).

Now some people may be able to apply some of these things, some may not (which is totally fine). Some may need Sub, Methadone or another substitute. I just pray you don't because in all reality you are just switching from one evil to another.

There’s no doubt about it the first week is the hardest! With the first 1-4 days being the worst.

Now when you hit hour 24 you should be in the withdrawal hell arena. You will go through some of these W/D's (God willing not all of them) Insomnia, Shakes, RLS, Major depression, Suicide thoughts, extreme lethargy, sweats ( Hot and Cold), Nausea, Diarrhea, anxiety, Ect, Ect.


- First day, Lay in bed as much as needed. Keep your mind busy (T.V.) Books anything besides the pills. In the morning Take a good size dose of magnesium and Chamomile Pills (or Tea) If rest is needed hopefully you may have some sleeping pills, Trazadone, Ambiem Or benzo's Valium, ativan ect. (Be very careful with the benzo's as those withdrawals or even harder I have heard), I personally chose the Trazadone. It worked well enough. (Magnesium was a life saver for the RLS and the Chamomile for the Anxiety) Water, Water, Water


-Second Day, I believe was the hardest, More Chamomile and magnesium. Get ready to just cry, cry all day if you need. Don't be afraid of the crying. I know it will seem a dark depressing cry, (now from I learned about tramadol you go through 3 different withdrawal symptoms Mu Rec, Serotonin syndrome and the obvious synthetic opiate withdrawal). Talk about a mind F@%K. The lobbyist for this drug obviously paid some good money to keep it off the controlled substances list. Sorry rambling. Anyways cry if needed, I myself was a robot for so long it felt horrible at first but the light does get brighter each day. At night try to sleep if possible by taking some sleeping medication with more tea, Cham and magnes. I personally didn't sleep for the first 75 hours, But it did help) Water, Water, Water


- Third Day, Which is the second hardest day I thought, Cry some more if needed. Your body will thank you. Magnesium and Chamomile Pills, Tea. Rest, Rest and some more rest. You will see the veil unfolding and see a ray of hope. The whole time through these days make sure you being reinforced by a sober positive person. Imodium on this day was a life safer for me 2. (But not to much) at night sleeping pills, water water water.


-Fourth Day, The day I realized I will survive this and the physical w/d's were subsiding, Take a Good Strong Multivitamin, I personally went to Good Earth before and Chose a Multivitamin Called "Alive" It has everything a body could want or need. Take Multivitamin, cham if needed, magnesium, 5-HTP if needed, Omega 3,6,9, Senna. Rest, Water and if you can taking a walk outside will be a huge eye opener. It will be hard on this day but it will give you that "LIFE" feeling back. Sleeping pills if needed more magnesium, Chamomile.


-Fifth Day, Might be your Motivation Day. Multivitamin, Cham if needed, Magnesium, I brisk walk, just any exercise will help no matter how big or small, 5-htp if needed, Omega, Senna if needed, Rest, Water, Water, Water. I personally stayed away from a lot of B6, Complex vitamins because I didn't want the nervous energy they give me, that combined with anxiety is not a good mixture in my opinion.


I am not a Doctor nor do I work in the Health Care Industry, This is just my personal 2 Cents to try and help just 1 Person If I can get off this Horrible Drug, ( I called them the Devils Tic Tacs or Candy).


The reason I Pushed so much on the Magnesium is because it was a life saver for the RLS which I thought was one of the worst W/D symptoms, Also the Chamomile for the Anxiety which is also pretty bad but it did help me. Please take head if using the Valium or any other benzo. Have someone watch over those and have them give you one if necessary. As far as the 5-HTP thats a personal choice (research before if needed).

And the last thing and most important thing for me was Prayer, I would of not of been able to do this without the strength of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.

I know I wrote a book, but if this helps just one person than it was worth the hour of writing this.


Thank You, God Bless



Greg








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by sandie1977, Apr 23, 2009
Greg I copied and posted your blog in my email and saved it so I can look back on it.  

In 1/2 an hour I will be 24 hours "sober"

When I woke up this morning I said not another pill until 11pm.

Why? I am in the thick of my w/d's I DONT WANT TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.

My legs are wrapped from toe to knee with ace bandages. Tighter everynight it seems. lol

Symptoms so far:

I want to cry so much, but holding it in because I am not home, but with my b/f and I dont want to totally wig him out.
menstrual like cramps
feels like someone has punched me in the upper stomach.
My legs GAWD MY LEGS!!! As soon as I get so tired enough to doze off, my legs are getting the "rack" treatment. I have to kick out of the sensation which in turns wakes me up all over again.
I felt like my blood was pulling in my feet earlier. '
my right hand and wrist were cramping up
sharp pains in my lower left abdomin area
feeling of doom
heightened senses (some good, some not so good)
I am so tired, but my body constantly wants to walk.
HUNGRY AS HECK!
freezing my arse off, ITS FREAKING 80 DEGREES WITH HUMIDITY AND I HAVE THE HEAT ON!
scared
paranoid sensations
light headness (or brain zaps) has not really hit me (but I know what it felt like, esp in mornings, which in turn had me radar detected to my trusty bottle of trammies) I hated that the worst.
pale skin with black patches under eyes.
slight nausea

You know if I printed this out and made the spelling real small... and placed it on every bottle of tramadol ever given under the "warnings signs" do you think people would think twice about starting this drug if they know beforehand what the w/d's are gonna be?

Your right ... too much info ... and people would probably say to themselves,"Won't happen to me".

I read on a sight earlier that over 55 million americans are prescribed this nonnarcotic analgesic. there was even a site saying there are absolutely 100% no side effects or w/d's and users can come off this med very easily.

I will search that site again and post on here where I saw it. I wanted to cry. But then my b/f's cat licking his ^&*%$ made me feel sorry for him and weeped. The mailman delivering his mail made me think now he is working hard and I bet he would do anything to be home. that made me cry.  watching water boil made me teary eyed.

I have my kids tomorrow. my daughter turns 8 on sunday, this is gonna be a LONG weekend.


I hope that when I post tommorrow morning I will be saying something like 30+ hours sober... and not saying I broke down and took one to avoid the crappy insomnia and RLS I know will happen.

Goodnight and Bless everyone on this site.







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by FinallyFred, Apr 24, 2009
Wow, impressive WARS taking place at the moment.  Congrats to you guys.  

By the time I got into the second to fourth day, the pain, flu like symptoms and sleeplessness NEARLY got too much for me. One of the only things that KEPT ME GOING through that stange, was  the thought that there was no way in HE*L that I was going to give up the INVESTMENT of time, for what?  Only to do this all over again some time?  

The thing about tramadol is that it's not really a matter of "whether" each one of us will strop this terrible drug, but WHEN.  It's either now or later.  Why not press on and be DONE with it?  There is a certain comfort that came to me in my own acute withdrawal, when I considered that I was doing this on MY terms.  

If anyone here is feeling weak and ready to toss in the towell, please in before the miracle happens.  Before you will finally be FREE of the months and years of agony this lousy drug has put you through.

Shade/Noodle -  We are headed to Colorado for a week.  Boulder and Colorado Springs areas.  We are looking forward to seeing Pike's Peek, the Garden of the Gods and the Rocky Mountains.  If anyone has any "travel tips" drop me a note.  We have never been to Colorado, so we are looking forward to the trip.

But old Fred will be thinking of you guys and sending good positive thoughts your way.

Love, Fred

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by Shadetree, Apr 24, 2009
Hello everyone,

Great list Greg, Im sure that will be helpful. Thank you for taking the time... I appreciate it, Im sure lost of people will aswell.

Happy to report that Mr. Shadetree has come through for me today.) So hopefully I will  be able to relax and recover...

Today is day 3... ( after tapering & then jump off of tram) I slept 9 hrs last night.. I cant tell you how blessed I feel with the sleep. I expected so much less on the sleep front. But it seems Im not missing a wink. (I am not counting my chickens yet though) I know this is only the begining. Still lightheaded though not as bad. I feel as if I have a really bad head cold. Nose running, lungs are extracting stuff. To anyone else it appears I have a upper respitory infection. Ive had chills, and goose bumps for most of the morning I have been up. I had a real long one (chill) that ran from my head down my spine, followed by a hot flash. Almost electric, may be what some refer to as the electric jolts...but idk.  

That is all I can post for now, mr. shade is home today, but I will try to check back in periodically.

Fred ~ I have never been there but sounds fabulous. Hope you have a wonderful time...

~Shade

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by bjb97, Apr 24, 2009
Hello everyone Day 29 for me -- I still am taking a trazedone (prescribed to me 12 years ago in alcohol rehab) for sleep but I'm going to cut down to 3/4 or 1/2 tonight and hopefully taper off of that entirely.  I was taking 1/2 occasionally prior to quitting Tram.  When I went c/t 29 days ago the RLS and insomnia were almost the dealbreaker for me but I had the "Fred" mindset.  I DID NOT want to start over and go through what I'd been through the past 24 or 48 hours.  

If it is any consolation to any of you newbies that are able to get 3 or more hours of sleep a night, I slept a TOTAL of 16 hours (yes two days worth of sleep) in 7 nights.  16 hours in a week.  I totally understand the sleep deprivation techniques they use in war situations -- horrible, horrible horrible.  I would be one of the first ones to crack!  I need my sleep and LOVE my sleep.  I have always been someone who needed 8 hours a night.  I have two speeds -- fast and stop -- probably why my body needs thsoe 8 hours to rejuvenate.  

BVD -- I feel for you and all of the pain you must have endured 8 years ago with the loss of your Mom.  So easy to see how the Tramadol became your best friend.  Hopefully you can find some healthier, more inspiring human friends (not prescription) now.  I'm rootin' for ya.

Sandie, Shadetree, Shanna, and all other newbies -- keep posting.  I know how important it was for me to read the posts of others at the same place in the w/d timeline that I was.  Indescribably consoling AND encouraging.

Greg -- great post outlining the expectations of the first few days of withdrawals.  Very accurate and helpful.  All the newcomers should definitely reflect on this one.

Fred -- you have been a constant on this site and so helpful and supportive to everyone, esp me.  ENJOY your TRAM-FREE vacation.

Emily -- thanks again for starting this great place for us innocent Tram-Victims.

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 24, 2009
I feel a lot better today, but certainly not 100%.  I feel like I've been run over by a mack truck and all those old aches and pains that made me start taking any kind of pain meds are flaring up today.  I'm not sure how to get past that feeling.  

Oh, how i envy the people that are getting sleep (Shade)  I got a good two hours in last night and felt lucky to get that.

The restless legs got really bad last night.  It was about to drive me insane before it stopped.  

I'll just be glad to be back to my old self again.

Shanna

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by beeb16, Apr 24, 2009
day 10 for me .

got a lot of work done yesterday, today woke up very tired
somewhat close to what i felt on day 7.
very little depression,
having coffee now feel like the slight
cloud is lifting.slept about 5 hrs. last night.
All in all i think i have made a great turn for the better.
I remember the "kid" birthday party on day 4,wouldn't
want to go through that again!

On sundays my wife usually
wants me to watch "lifetime" movies with her w/coffee and coffee cake,
lets see how that "goes" this sunday.
I missed last week as i
was in no "condition".ha ha.

At least my sense of humor is returning, that's a good sign.

more later

beeb


p.s. I've been writing in very "short" sentences lately. Easier to read for me.
           (more humor)

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by ultraumatized, Apr 24, 2009
kc - thanks for the info!  it's probably been about 5 years since i've gone more than 30 or so days without ultram, so i really hope that it gets easier...i've never given it enough time to really sink in that i DON'T need the drugs.  there has always been some event in the future that i felt would be easier to deal with on ultram rather than staying clean.  i feel like i can do it though, i'm just going to have to crack down hard on myself when the time comes.

i woke up feeling pretty good this morning.  i don't ever recall waking up on day 4 (without trams) & feeling anything but pure misery.  i have gone on & off tramadol many times in the past & have always experienced the same h*llish feelings all of you have described...i think my method has helped immensely this time, by tomorrow i will be off lortab & hopefully the worst of the withdrawal will have gone with it.  the only symptoms that have hung around so far have been the sneezing, awful stomach cramps when i eat & a general grouchy/listlessness...i don't feel like doing much of anything & my attention span is shot.  i HAVE been sleeping tho...too much actually.  i've slept more in the past 3 or 4 days than i have in months...over 10 hours last nite...i think some of this may have to do with the elavil i'm taking (i was diagnosed with major depression several years ago & that is why i now have that rx).  i feel like in some ways i'm sleeping off the bad feelings i would be experiencing otherwise...i'm just hoping my energy will return soon.

i wish there was a way to fast forward thru all of this, especially for those who are really in the worst stages of withdrawal. my heart goes out to all of you & i hope everyone will have some time to rest & regain their strength over the weekend.

good luck everyone!

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by TramaBarf, Apr 24, 2009
Way to go BEEB!!  Day 10 was the day I realized, I am on the road to RECOVERING from this ****!!  Whoo hoo to you!!  Keep it going!

Hillybilly-  TOTAL Congrats to your new lil addition!  420 is a GREAT Birthdate!  Hehehe.  I never even thought of the date until I heard someone tell me on 4-20 that the day was 4-20.  In my whole life, it never even crossed my mind.  You totally make me laugh!  Laughing is GOOD!

Struggling-  Soon you will not be "struggling" anymore.  You have great determination.  THIS is what will get you through the beginnings.  Congrats on how far youve come!

BJB-  Im right there with ya!!  Im on Four Weeks and 5 days I believe.  Just lost count yesterday, Ill check today.  We have made it past the BAD part of the storm. I find now my days have way more NORMALNESS then it did in the past.  After about day 30, It was many more steps forward, and less steps back.  Im right there with you my friend.

Fred-  I totally hear you.  I felt the SAME way.  In the beginning....when it was BAD and I thought...maybe just one....I went back to the first days of Emilys journal, and that WOKE ME THE HECK UP.  I remembered all of it.  Now just so everyone knows...I went BACK on the p oop after I was done at one time, JUST for a month, thinking that a month will cause no withdrawls.  I was WRONG.  I went back, and started from day one again.  I have heard it was something like a trigger in the brain which makes it all come back.  Like YEY YOUR BACK>>>>>IVE BEEN WAITING FoR YOU.  Then it beats the **** out of you when you stop again.  This was JUST a month.

Shade-  WAY TO GO!!  Day three is GREAT, a couple more days and you will fully get the hang of it...and its all uphill from there!  You can do it!

Sandee- Whoo hoo!!  Day one is day one, but just KNOW that it WILL get better.  Have faith.  It does not get any worse after the beginning.  It only gets better.  Hang on tight, and do not let go!  We are all miracles!

Midvaile-  Great advice.  You hit the nail right on the head.  Way to go on beating the p oop out of this stuff.  It IS the devil.  

Sorry if I did not hit everyone up.  But there is alot of us here doing it.  WE CAN DO IT!!

I am on day one month and a couple and to tell you the truth the last two days have been close to normal. (knock on wood for no randomness)  I am going through a terrible divorce though, and at times when the X emails, calls and bothers me my adereanaln (sp err.) my anxiety hits the roof!!

I don't know if anyone watches the Dog Whisperer, but i have actually learned alot from that show.  Kinda like emily states...when times get tough take a DEEEEpppp breath, hold, count to five then exhale to 10 slowly.  It REALLY REALLY helps.  Its so unusual how something so simple can really help.  I suggest that to everyone.  Out of everything offered herre, I find this the most helpful of all, cause at times, anxiety can be a biotch.  Your heart rate goes up, you feel the fight or flight nervous system kick in, and your ready to explode of a billion feelings.  This breathing technique really really helps.

(I do so many deep breaths lately, I don't even notice anymore, heheh)

A beautiful Friday to you all.  Please know you are all in my thoughts and prayers.  We can all do this.  We CAN.  BIG HUGS to all, and enjoy your weekends for yourself, for YOU ALL are worth it.

Peace and love to all...and healing!

JC

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by sandie1977, Apr 24, 2009
well the results are ...


I broke down and took a pill at 1:30 am this morning.

Reason?  RLS was so bad that I was crying and pacing and wanting to rip my hair out. The ace bandages were not doing **** for me. The advil pm's did nothing, and a Tylenol #3 was like popping candy. Boyfriend massaged my legs and that only made it worse. He stayed with me through the terrible ordeal and didnt say anything when I (crying like a baby) went to the bottle and took one dreaded pill and swallowed.

I HATE MY ******* DOCTOR FOR PUTTING ME ON THIS ****. I HATE MYSELF FOR ALLOWING THIS DRUG TO TAKE HOLD OF ME. I HATE THAT I AM SO WEAK, AND THAT A LITTLE WHITE BULLET SMALLER THEN MY THUMBNAIL IS CONTROLLING MY EVERY MOVE/THOUGHT.

So all the **** I went through yesterday was for not. Well, I guess not entirely.  The plus side is I am only taking one pill in a 24 hour period. And another positive outlook is that I had my bottle of meds refilled on April 3rd. Its a 120pill dose. (enough for 15 days) I still have 33 remaining. Now for me that is not something to scoff at!

It seems like an eternity when I cut from 8 to 2 pills a day. It wasnt as hard (sure I went through w/d's) but I guess now that it is just one a day my body is telling me "hey you, what the hell are you doing?"

Shanna - What I wouldnt do to be where you are at now.  SO HAPPY YOUR ABLE TO STAY OFF ENTIRELY! Keep it up!

Shadetree - I guess I cant go from 2 - 0 pills. So my plan B is to take 1 every 24 hours for one more day and then drop off entirely. Congrats to you for day 3! I dont mind not getting sleep, its the leg thing.   Good luck and keep posting. I'm in the shallow end of the lake and I see you and Shanna laying on the grass soaking up the sun. I plan to be there in 2 days. LOL

Symptoms before going to bed and taking a pill this morning at 1:30

extreme dizziness (running into walls, bracing myself against back of chairs and walls)
head was spinning
RLS
right hand and wrist felt like muscle rigors.
insomnia
menstrual like cramps (on depo-pervera no monthly's here)
stomach pains
neck stiffness
heightened senses
fear
anxiety
worry
freezing with chills
hot flashes.
hunger like no other. (i hope to be gaining some weight)

at 1:30 this afternoon I repeat the whole thing over, but hopefully it won't be as bad as yesterday, now that my mind and body are realizing that I am down to 50mg/day. We'll see.

Symptoms now?

slight headache

sandie









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by sandie1977, Apr 24, 2009
i forgot to mention

sneezing is another issue
runny nose

sandie

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by noodlegrl, Apr 24, 2009
Sandie - I don't know if this is true but it is what I did and it really helped my psyche - While I was tapering, instead of waiting for symptoms to get really bad, I took the Devil Pill at the exact same time every morning which was at 7 am. Then I did that everyday for like a little over a week, basically till my symptoms "leveled out", and then I would reduce again. I reduced all the way down to "roughly" 12.5 mgs and then jumped off. It gives your brain some predictability and also takes some of the worry away because you can think "I can only take one at this time and there are no excuses to rationalize with myself to take more than at this one specific time, just don't do it." It may help you, it may not, but doing that along with vitamins and other supplements it greatly reduced my PHYSICAL symptoms, not the emotional as much but definitely the PHYSICAL. Potassium is good for the RLS so maybe you could eat some bananas throughout the day? I hope this helps some. You can do it!!

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by noodlegrl, Apr 24, 2009
Day 30 for me WOO HOO! Wow.. what a couple months I have had. I guess I am pretty much normal. Wish I had more energy but now that I think about it I've always had a prob with being "tired". But hopefully my changing lifestyle will help that.

I had a disturbing dream last night though... I dreamed that I was going to my purse to get a vitamin and the dreaded bottle I used to keep my trams in was there!! I opened it up without thinking and out fell 2 Trams... and I had a battle with myself in the dream. One won't hurt! YES IT WILL! No, your crazy, it won't! YES IT WILL! Well... unfortunately I woke up before I decided whether or not to take one. Hopefully, my dream self JUST SAID NO! It made me think though, if I had one in front of me could I say no? It would be tempting.. I try to remind myself that I see the person who gave them to me everyday and I am able to manage. I don't think I would take one... I DO NOT want to go through THAT again... I don't look at this friend in the same light anymore though... I see the effect Tramadol has had on him and I realize I socialized with him mostly to get my fix.. and now... not so much.. how sad is that. I feel like a horrible person but I can't help it.. maybe its one of my subconscious ways of staying off the "Devils Tic Tacs" .

Thanks KC, I can't believe it either! Its so RAD!

Congrats and Good Luck to everyone!

Thanks everyone for being here for me. I also believe that if it weren't for you guys and this place I would not be where I am today. You all gave me the strength, knowledge, and understanding it took to get through this. It takes positive people going through the same thing or who have already been there before to truly inspire and encourage and help make it through. Thank you thank you thank you. I WUV you guys.

I'm sorry I can't respond to everyone right now. I have a project to finish this morning before I go to lunch that way maybe I can relax this fine beautiful Friday afternoon instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off. :) But all of you are in my thoughts and prayers! I am sending you all good energy today and this weekend (prob won't be able to get on still, its a kids weekend - they need fun times since mommy has been a basket case). I will be checking in randomly today so if you need me let me know!

HUGS to ALL!!

~ Noodle

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 24, 2009
this is day 4 for me and i just had to share with the group that i feel for a few brief minutes "normal".  still very weak, i couldn't eat much at all during this so i know i need to build up strength to fix that issue.  but, no rls, no aniexty, and for a few minutes, not even any pain.  i actually even laughed at something on tv.

thank goodness for these brief moments to remind myself why i'm putting myself through this hell.  i think yesterday was the absolute worst for me.  i had ran out of the ativan and the aniexty was through the roof and that is something new for me.  i've never felt anxious like that before in my life.

i realized i've never shared why i decided to get off the tramadol.  for me it was the constant worry - will i have enough to get through?  i got the tramadol for legit pain and next thing i know i'm going from 3 a day to 6 a day to 12 a day to 24 a day.  this is over a two year period.  24 pills a day!!  that is insane.  i just couldn't live with that anymore.

i did almost give in that first day and order some off of the internet.  i had even placed the order, but i cancelled it before it could process.  that has probaby got to be my proudest moment.

to everyone still struggling it does get better.  take one minute at a time.  when the rls gets too bad walk.  i know that sounds hard to do, at least for me it was because i was so weak, but it calms them down for a brief moment.  drink, take your vitamins, and try to have a support system.

i'm so proud of all those people that could work while they are going through this.  you have an inner strength that is just amazing.

i also want to say thank you to everyone on here.  you've made this nightmare just a bit more bearable.

Shanna


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by sandie1977, Apr 24, 2009
here is a little pick me up for those of us struggling.  I got this back at christmas time and I read it occasionally to get a great laugh.

You men on this forum might not think it so funny! .....

This is rather lengthy but worth the read!!!!  Hilarious!!!!

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie.

What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....?? WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed.

I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.  I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.  All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.

I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked un under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative? IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.  My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!!

P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!  
        If you think education is difficult, try being stupid.'


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by Shadetree, Apr 24, 2009
Hey guys,

That was pretty funny sandie...

Still day 3, stilll feel "outta my head" dizzy, lightheaded, I now have cramps pretty bad. Im not sure if it is w/d's or pms, or a combo... anyway, my lower back is sore & Im pretty weak. Mentally feeling "ok" tho, no depression or anxiety....yet. I would really love to skip that part.

So the weekend is here. It is supposed to be beautiful here so I hope to have a bit more energy tomorrow for the kids sake. I dont want to evvvvvver (mistake, but it works) go through these days again. I will never take tramadol again! What a dangerous drug! Really what else can I say, If it does this to you when you get off, imagine what it is doing to you while taking it.  Has anyone here read the books by Kevin Trudeuo "What they dont want you to know" ? Very interesting...makes ya wonder. Especially when it comes to Tramadol.

Well gotta go....ttys

(|)>-%~~~~~

Shade

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by BVD660, Apr 24, 2009
Day 11 here...

I agree with Fred that at this point there is no turning back.  I've come too far and there's no way in **** that I will go through this all over again.

Shade - what you described as a real long chill that runs from your head down your spine and followed by a hot flash is exactly what I experience and have referred to as "the electric jolts."  It's been one of the most irritating symptoms for me.  They become less frequent as each day passes.  Today, so far, I've only had 2.

Sandie - I tapered almost exactly as Noodle describes above and it helped my physical withdrawal immensely.  I didn't experience the rls, flu symptoms, or sleep problems nearly as bad as some who quit cold turkey, but I tapered slowly over time until I was taking 12.5mgs every morning for 10 days, then stopped.  

Shanna - 4 days, way to go shanna!  Days 1-4 were the hardest for me, actually they seem to be the hardest for most people.  Stay strong, the nightmare will get better very soon.

Boe (BVD)


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by BVD660, Apr 24, 2009
Sandie -

It sounds like your date with taser is a lot like tramadol withdrawal

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by grandmagirl, Apr 24, 2009
30 days out and feeling much better. Did anyone get numb feet or pains shooting down leg vains... Left leg is starting to swell and left foot is going numb. Not the reason I was taking tram. I was taking it for nerve pain in gums. Depression is going away finally and I'm not acting like a big spider monkey any more. Sweating still in the AM. Any info will help much. Your all so strong. Love reading all your posts. Take care Grandmagirl

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by BVD660, Apr 24, 2009
Grandmagirl - I have had some tingling in my figertips and toes since I quit.  It's been more like a vibratory feeling like I've been runnin a jack hammer all day, if that makes sense.  Don't know about the swelling though.  30 days is awesome. I know what you mean about the sweating.  I'm at 11 days and still can't regulate my body temperature.  I'm either freezing cold or burning hot and usually sweating with both, it's so bizarre.

Boe

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 24, 2009
OMG, Sandie, I was laughing so hard I was crying!!!  Just what I needed today!

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by grandmagirl, Apr 24, 2009
BVD660
      Thank you for information. Some how I have managed not to miss any work. I can't even imagine what my co-workers think. I found working to be the entertainment that I needed to forget that I thought I was going crazy. It's like I was normal and than no tram and I went insane with major depression and panic. Thank you for the information. Please know that you will feel much better as the days go by. Your very strong ....keep going...11 days... thats great. Sweating will go away soon.  grandmagirl

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by Bigman7778, Apr 24, 2009
Hello

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by Bigman7778, Apr 24, 2009
Hello every body.Spent about1 and half reading posts and  writing post in this joural and then the site would not let me.I am not exactly a compute whiz..Re signed up and am now bigman7778.Day 14 for me, feel normal today. So glad to feel myself again.Must go as I  am tired.Best to all!

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by dontbelieve, Apr 24, 2009
Howdy all,

Sounds like we got quite a few people going through the worst part of the withdrawls right now. I feel for you all. The restless legs that make you want to bury them under something to make the tingling go away, the sneezing ( the worst part for me), the general lathargic feeling, it is not a fun battle. BUT HANG IN THERE....IT GETS BETTER!!!

I saw a comment on the lortab helping with the withdrawl symptoms...and for me it masked the withdrawls well but when I stopped taking em it was like starting over again at day one. I was 15 days off ultram when I got kidney stones...so of course the doc put me on vicoden. I passed 5 stones in 3 weeks and i gotta say I wouldnt have made it through that without the vicoden...but remember vicoden or lortab are opiates. So in my experience once I stopped taking them my withdrawls were back. Not quite as strong as when i was on ultram but strong enough that I had all the same symptoms for the first 5 days.
So just a warning it may be a blessing in disquise....

I am like 68 days off ultram and about 4 weeks off vidocen and feeling pretty good now. I got into this eating mode about 2 weeks off ultram and the same off vicoden. I was eating anything I could get my hands on and alot of it. I probably dropped 30 pounds over the 2+ years I took tramadol. Now I am starting to gain my weight back ( plus some ). I have always been a big eater but tramadol did not let me eat. I would barely finish dinner if I did at all and have something for lunch but that was about it. In the past couple of months daily I have started to feel more like myself. I didn't realize that I was in a tramafog when I was but now looking back on it I am amazed my wife put up with it for so long. I have always been an active outdoor lover, ( we got married in Yosemite because its one of my favorite places to go and hike...) but tramadol took that from me too. I turned into a couch lover and a avid tv watcher. There are alot of things in my life I let tramadol take from me. My advise for some of the newer people going through the withdrawls now...make yourself a list of the things you really love to do. Everytime you start thinking that you can't do this anymore...look at your list and ask yourself how many of those things did you stop doing because tramadol has had you in a lathargic fog.

One of the biggest factors for me was my family. I am married to the woman of my dreams and when she told me she was pregnant I decided I needed to get my life back. Not just for my wife and son to be...but for myself. I knew at that point that my body needed this to function. I really had to take a look at that fact and finally decided why am I ingesting something that had this much control over me? So I made a promise to myself and to my wife that by the time my son was born I would be pain med free and out of this fog. I decided that my neck pain would have to be just that...a pain in the neck that I would have to find another way to deal with.I made it  my goal. As hard as it was I did make it. So now my goal is to have my son know a pain med free dad. I always have to set goals for myself and usually I am pretty good at them. I need something to look forward to and I think alot of us are probably that way but for me it really helps to have a goal and once I reach it immediatly set another one. Kinda a weird thing I do is I play a game with my wife that anywhere we go even if we have never been there...on the way home i tell her what time down to the minute we will be home. I am usually within the minute...the most I have been off is 3 minutes. I guess I am kinda weird that way but it makes the drive seem not so long.

I am not trying to preach to anyone about the way they should be or do what i did...I am just throwing out some things that helped me. Everyone is different end everyone will have different reasons for wanting to stop taking this evil drug. The key thing that I think everyone has in common is that if you are not really ready to quit you are not going to. Nobody can make up your mind for you and like anything else you have to make that decision that you are done. Once that decision is made...this place will do wonders for you. Fred , Kev , Emily , Kc, bjb, Shadetree, upsguy, noodle, and so many more are great at giving advise and listening. Some days are going to be better than others and it will take some longer than others to feel better or get through the stages but these guys are here to help and they do a excellent job. For me the support and just having someone say " I have been there too and understand where you are and what you are going through.." was great.

Sandie: you are doing great....1 in 24 hours is good. For me cold turkey was the only way...if I had a perscription in my possesion I would have rationalized to myself that it was okay to take more if I had  bad day....I could not have done what you are doing by tapering...my hat is off to you. I also went through the hating myself for taking it and wanting to beat my doc with a stick for giving them to me in the first place...especially since he continued to tell me even after I was having major withdrawls that there is no withdrawl associted with tramadol. I have since switched doctors and hope to god never to see him anywhere when I am in a bad mood. KEEP IT UP!!!

Shadetree: Congrats to you...day 3! AWESOME...I know you are probably not feeling awesome but give it a couple more days and you will be feeling better...keep up the good work...

Shanna: DAY 4! you are almost there!...for a lot of us by day 7 the fog was lifting and for me it got better and better everyday....keep on posting...keep on fighting...and soon you will be a struggling newbie no more...

beeb: keep it up...is it 11 days now?...thats great. one day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time....but 11 days is something to be proud of.

Any new folks who dont know me that I missed I am sorry but I keep having to walk away from the computer to help wifey with the boy...and I get confused easily....(thats just normal for me)...

Thank you to all for your well wishes and congrats on the new addition to my family...he is awesome.
This is my first kid so if I start to ramble on about how wonderful he is or have these long drawn out stories about him I apologize in advance but I am really excited he is finally here. I will be changing my picture to one of him...

I plan to continue to post it just may be every other day or so not as much time as I had before...

Sandie that story was hilarious...good lord that sounds like something I would have done...but now that I have read that i will not...lol.

I wil try to write some more later..

Talk to yall later...

The Hillbilly...


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by sandie1977, Apr 25, 2009
Let me tell you all a big secret....

Tramadol withdrawl is no joke! But wait a minute I guess you already know that.  

I have my children today and for the weekend. I have found that if I stay busy and moving the effects arent so bad... until around 6pm tonight. I was flying a kite, Then I tried a science exp. with my daughter. Then I colored a picture with her. Then I went to store to get gas. Then I went to dollar tree to get another kite. Then to the bank. Then to kroger. Then back home and ate a pizza.

It was at that point that I hit the breaking point. EXHAUSTION such as I never expierened before hit me so hard and so fast that I felt like I was gonna pass out. My head felt like someone put a metal clamp on it and squeezed, I was stumbling around like I was drunk. My legs ached like growing pains, and again the blood pooling sensation came on. But to elevate them was murder. It hurt so much worse. I could no longer tolerate my daughter speaking to me. Much less deal with her incessant questions.

And my night was far from over....

I live in Ky and anyone who is aware the derby season is on. Tonight I promised my children I would take them to the balloon glow. At 7pm I wanted to DIE.  Simply lay down and have a priest read my rights. But I couldn't do that. So at exactly 7:30pm I took the ammo from the loaded gun of mine and swallowed.  Within the hour I was back to my old self. Happy, chilled out, no pain, able to perform miracles.

Did I mention that I cried when I took my pill? Did I mention that if I were to see the prescribing doctor in a dark alley somewhere he would not come out of it? Did I mention that I am so pissed at myself for being able to get to 1:30am before taking another?  

WHY, WHY, WHY?  WHY CANT I GET DOWN TO ONE AND MAINTAIN IT? I got to two a day and was comfortable with it. No hideous side effects. 12 hours apart exactly. Its not fair. Am I not strong enough?  I cant throw them away, flush them down. But I did tell my doc (not the same one who rx'ed these to me) that I am cutting back and dont want anymore. So when I run out, that's it. Whether its 33 pills later or whatever I will have no more.  

I want to be done with all this ^%$# once and for all.

Right now I am very pissed at myself, down on myself, and hating life.  

I wanted to share with other posters on here, that when I was taking 8 a day I felt energized, motivated, happy, on top of the world. Never felt bad, never felt like not doing something.  I traveled I kept busy I cleaned my house regulary I took care of my kids the right way.  I was human.

I feel now like some posters on here felt while ON the medication.  SO what made me stop? The fact that its a narcotic. The fact that I am a nurse, work at a prison, and subject to random "drops" (urie samples), and have to share with the whole world that yes I take tramadol. The fact that if the  narcotic count is wrong on my shift people will look at me and say, "Your taking medication from the company now?"  And I would have no other way to prove that I didnt/dont/never would/never will take the tramadol. It would look worse if they searched my purse/car and seen my prescription for tramadol. I worked too hard for my nursing license to lose it over a little ******* pill !!!!!!!!!!!

I feel more negative now then I ever have. I hate it.

I am going to bed now. Or at least try and reflect on my decision to quit this med.

For those of you who are soooo much stronger then me, I am so very proud of you. Come off, stay off, and never look back.

Till next time

sandie

p.s. glad you all liked the earlier story!   :D








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by kevzx81, Apr 25, 2009
Sandie-may I make a suggestion? (obviously Im going to anyway lol) If you split your dose in two and take them 12hrs apart your w/ds might be more level...just a thought...

I just 'popped in' to the forum as Id got up to pee in the night....dont know how in hell Im going to get back to sleep now after your hilarious story....it shouldnt be funny....but I just cant get the images out of my mind!!! I think the presence of the cat didnt help....just too 'Tom and Jerry' !

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by beeb16, Apr 25, 2009
sandie i never considered myself stronger than anyone.

i just made sure i had no options when i quit. I dumped em down the toilet.
threw em down the sink,in the river. whatever. Then i had NO options.
"Maybe just one to take the edge off", tough **** i flushed em.
"just a couple for this holiday season", tough **** i flushed em.
"I'll quit first of the month", tough **** theyre gone.

I cant have em laying around in my dresser, hidden under the sink,way in the back
of the closet. I gotta have NO options!
then i  dont have a choice.

i feel like i sold  my "childhood" home and moved to a new city.
home is where i'm at now, not where i used to be,

goodbye day 10
hello day 11

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 25, 2009
It was the same for me, I couldn't have the option of having them lying around.  I think you are so much stronger than me for being able to control yourself to just two a day.  that's amazing.  i wish i had that much self control.  and just a small word of advice, if at all possible, try to take some time off and a couple of days for yourself and you will find it so much easier to not take them.  i kept finding excuses for not getting off of the pills - i have to go out of town, i have to work, i have to take care of my son, a wedding to go to...so, what i finally did is told my husband i was going off of them and he was in charge, called in sick to work and boy, was i ever and i finally did it.  this is my 5th day of being tramadol free and i have to say today is good.  i can't believe how numb i used to be because of the pills.  it's like i'm alive for the first time since i got on any type of pain medication.

it hasn't been easy.  i gave in yesterday and took some darvocet because my shoulder was hurting and i'm hoping like everything i haven't blown all the hard work i put in the past 4 days, but i think i'm still okay.  the shoulder barely bothers me today and now i'm thinking it was just a trick of the pain meds that made the shoulder feel so much worse than it really is.

sandie, don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing amazing.  and to everyone on here who offered words of encouragement thank you.  i honestly couldn't have done this without them.

shanna

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by ultraumatized, Apr 25, 2009
congrats to everyone who has made it this far.  even with a few slip ups you are better now than you were before, we all make mistakes, right?

this is my 5th day without trams & i still feel pretty good.  i too was worried that withdrawal might creep back in after i finish this short cycle of lortab so i've spread out the time between taking them to just one in the morning & in the late evening/before bed.  i woke up feeling fine this morning. i got pretty hot while i was sleeping last night, but when i got up the thermostat said it was 75 degrees, so it looks like i had a good reason for feeling that way.  i've taken lortab  in short cycles before & never felt the intense cravings tramadol gives me...i also am not getting the slightest bit "high" off them  so i still feel like i have a good handle on things.  i guess the next few days will be the real test.  i should be off pain meds completely by tomorrow, so i'll have to wait & see if things go back downhill...i'm keeping my fingers crossed that they won't.  i feel pretty optimistic & i'm definitely ready to start life clean.  

i can understand the reasons some stay on the meds, i was one of those people who functioned at 100% when taking them.  it wasn't all good feelings tho, i sometimes had really bad mood swings that left me snapping at everyone & then isolating myself.  most recently i noticed that while i was happy, it was a very empty happy.  i had no real emotions besides just smiling through the day.  i had a very important event last week that should have been one of the best days of my life, but i never felt any of the anticipation, excitement or nervousness that should have come with it...there was just that happy sense of floating on thru...i really robbed myself of a great experience & it makes me wonder how many other times i've done that.

i've quit this time for several reasons, the above being one.  i also don't want to risk the great relationship i have with my boyfriend...he doesn't know i went back on the meds & i'm tired of lying to him & everyone else.  my daughter is at a really impressionable age & while she doesn't know that i've spent so much time taking pills i worry that one day she could catch me putting one in my mouth & that would be the end...i never want her to go thru this!  the number i was consuming also worries me...i would sometimes take 5 or 6 at a time, up to 15 a day sometimes...i know i was playing with fire...when on the meds i didn't have a second thought about downing so many but from an outside perspective i realize how absolutely crazy that is!  on top of all this all options for legit rxs are gone now...ordering online is not an something i will do either...it would just result in more lying.  i hope when things get bad i can look back on my reasons & strengthen my resolve to stay clean.  i've screwed up my sobriety so many times...but maybe this one will stick.  i hope so.

good luck everyone!

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by BVD660, Apr 25, 2009
Sandie-

I was in the same boat as you are in now.  After being on tram for 8-9 yrs, I one day became determined to get off it and decided to try to taper my dose because after stopping for one day I realized I couldn't do it c/t.  I tapered slowly, cutting my dose by about 15% and staying there for a week before I would cut my dose again.  I did this until I reached 12.5 mg per day which I took once in the morning for a week before I stopped completely.

It's not easy to do it this way for two reasons:  first of all it's easy to just take more because you have them readily available and haven't quit yet so it's easy to justify taking more.  You have to be determined and stick to it no matter what.  Secondly, even by tapering there will be withdrawals.  They won't be nearly as bad as quitting c/t, but you will have them, at least I did. The hardest cutback for me was going down from two pills a day that I was taking 12 hrs apart because that's when I really started to feel the withdrawals. It took me 2 months to go from 2 pills a day down to nothing and I experienced 'mini withdrawal' the whole time.

After I got down to nothing (which was going from only 12.5 mg to nothing), I was pretty sick for about 4-5 days with the usual symptoms, they just weren't as severe as those who quit c/t.  It's the morning of day 12 tram free for me and I still am not symptom free.  I still get the hot and cold sweats and some pretty severe anxiety from time to time.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that it sounds like you've reached your 'comfortable dose' at two pills a day where you don't experience any withdrawal.  I haven't heard a lot of tapering stories from our friends here, but like I said with me, once I cut down from my 'comfortable dose' I started to withdraw.  Because I tapered, I've been experiencing withdrawal symptoms for months which got significantly worse once I cut from my final dose to nothing.  For me personally, I don't know if I would taper and suffer withdrawals for such a long period of time or just get down to my 'comfortable dose' as then stop completely.

I think it was Kev that said they make tramadol in a liquid form so you could probably even taper lower than 12.5mg before stopping if that's what you decide to do.  Cutting pills any smaller is pretty hard to do, at least accurately.

Best wishes to you Sandie.  Remember: You can do this!

Boe

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by Shadetree, Apr 25, 2009
Good morning all...

Today is day 4....(jump off after tapering) Yay : ) I feel better today. Lightheaded still but a it is becoming less day by day. Still achy, but feel a little more energy. I started drinking whey protein again today. It has a lot of amino acids & along with multivitamin is helping tremendously. It produces L tryptophan ( that increased seretonin ) so i might be able to skip the anti depressant all together. Im hoping anyway.

Slept 8 hours last night, sweat like crazy though! Woke up soaking wet. Expelling the tram, so I was glad. I am trying to drink alot of water, but Im not thirsty so its hard. I have to force it down...All in all I am feeling better everyday. I only have two days left until I have to go back to work. That kinda brings me down, but I know it is just the state of mind Im in right now.

I look forward to the day when I look forward to that day...ya know what I mean. While on tram, I would look forward to everyday because I could take tram. I didnt care what I had to do for the day, work, clean, it didnt matter I had tramadol that gave me energy for days I could accomplish anything. But eventually that all turns on you. So I am looking forward to the simple pleasures in life, reglular things that give us the will to do and want to do things.... Does this make any sence?  

RSL SYNDROME: I was reading my natural healing book and magnesium & calcium is the most important nutrients you can take for restless legs if anyone is going through that right now....(Sandie)
Calcium 1,500 - 2,000 mgs daily in divided doses. After meals & at bedtime. Calcium has a calming effect. Of course, Do not use calcium in lactate form if you are allergic to dairy.
Magnesium 1,000 mgs daily - Needed to balance the calcium and relax the muscles.
Melatonin is a natural hormone that promotes sound sleep.  Start with 1.5 mgs daily taken 2 hrs or less before bedtime. If this is not effective you can gradually increase the dose until it starts working, but do not go over 5 mg daily. Only use occasionally, it is not intended to long term use. might even stop your body's natural production of the hormone.
Potassium & Zinc are also helpful. These are all just suggestions.

I will take to you all soon... :)

~Shade

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by Bigman7778, Apr 25, 2009
Hi eveverybody.Has a good night able to get 51/2 hrs sleep (good for me).Beautiful weather down in the deep south(Ga) clear and hot.Been about 2 weeks for me I am feeling completely back to normal.Even my nose has moisnted( sp) up.I am not sure but I have not herd any one else discuss this side effect of the drug, it completely dehydrates me and my nose and sinus cavites .So for the last 3 yrs have been using different over the counter products to restore proper moisture in this area with poor results.For the folks out there that are going ct, hang in there, the first 4 days definetly the worst but from that point it starts to get much better everyday.To the people who are tapering I have nothing but BIG RESPECT! Not sure I would have been able to do it that way,  but if  your working like most people what elsr are you going to do! Beeb- could not agree more with your comment about not having any evil tram in the house.I hate that stuff and I vow to never take it again, but knowing myself if it was in my house I would be very tempted and might succumb ..I can"t have that happen ! have come to far and gone though to much to back to it.    Gotta Go.Best to all.        Later          Bigman.

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by beeb16, Apr 25, 2009
day 11

Havent' noticed any diff. since day 6
slight depression and anxiety, nothing i cant handle.
as you can see i was up last night at 3am. couldn't sleep.

I tried the taper method once , but didn't work for me.
i looked for  any excuse to take  more. and i did.

Yesterday was a perfect 78 degrees here in chicago.
was out and about, pretty much driving all day.


best of luck to sandie, shade, hillbilly,bvd, struggling,ultaumatized,bigman and the rest.
more later.

beeb


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by sandie1977, Apr 25, 2009
Hey you all.

I want to firstly apologize for my last post. I am not feeling much better, but I feel bad becuz I am not the only one going through this. And my negativity can't be helping anyone here.  So I promise to back off.  

kevzx81 - glad you liked the story.  I am so fortunete to have a boyfriend that is naturally witty and can say "butterfly" and I crack up.  He did mention that since coming down off this med that I "seem" happier. And I naturally laugh more often at his jokes.

beeb16 - I think that throwing them away scares me much more than w/d's. But I fear that I may have too and soon.

Shadetree - I will try those supplements once I get my next paycheck. I unfortunetly paid a doctor bill to soon and too much and now I am rationing my moneys too!  I am on Depo and need to be on calcium anyways. Last night I have a serious craving for strawberries and bananas. I ate 4 bananas and a tub of strawberries! My body is telling me everyday, "hey I dont want that cig, I dont want that coca cola, I WANT FOOD! Here lately I have been eating lots of veggies, fruits, whole grains (which is probaly accounting for my diarrhea bouts.) Sorry TMI. But its amazing I went to the health clinic yesterday and got my depo renewed and they said that my B/P is down from 3 months ago, and my weight is up by 7 lbs!!!!  I officially weigh 108.  (Still to small, but a major step in the right direction for me)  Thank you so much for the advice on which supplements to take.

BVD660 - I appreciate your concern. My pills are not "scored" meaning the pills cannot be cut in half.  You said. "The hardest cutback for me was going down from two pills a day that I was taking 12 hrs apart because that's when I really started to feel the withdrawals." Exactly what I feel and felt. I will however half to call my doctor and see if he/she will cut down the dose to 25mg pills and then down to 12.5mg. One of my pills is 50mg. I just feel like I cant bare the side effects of jumping from 100mg/day (2) to 50mg/day (1) to nothing.  

Stuggling newbie - I feel the same about you too! you said that you couldn't have them in your house and you think I am doing well to maintain 2 a day.  I think you are more stronger then me to have just thrown them out and dove in to the horrendous side effects.  My hat is off to you and to all the others on here who have quit c/t.  

Has anyone had the feeling of having their brain in a clamp device?  As I type this out I feel like my head is being squeezed tight.  Tired and no energy, but I am making great effort to get up out of my lazy chair and play with my children. I am hot today. This is different then usual, normally  I am freezing while typing.

I am going to go now.  Have a good day.

Sandie

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by kevzx81, Apr 25, 2009
Sandie- as you are speaking to your doc you might ask them about soluble tramadol. As far as I know there is no dose lower than 50mg. If you can get soluble you can make up a 50ml dose and use a 5ml syringe to remeasure it into a smaller dose.

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by kevzx81, Apr 25, 2009
Sandie-sorry this is two posts,my pc glitched. I wanted to say that all the feelings and thoughts you expressed in your previous post are normal in Tram w/d, so dont feel you have to back off. I sure didnt during w/d lol. Tram w/d will pull out all sorts of feelings,many of them quite intense. Some of these feelings have been waiting a while to come out so when we reduce Tram, feelings naturally ' spring up'. Dont be afraid to let the lid off your feelings here, its part of your healing. Just speaking our feelings gives them validation.

If your w/d symptoms feel severe you may be particularly sensitive to Tram, this is how it was for me. I only took 3x50mg
for 2 months! Others have been addicted even faster than that!! Hang tough Sandie, the Tram WANTS you to think you cant succeed.It will bully you, seduce you ,mock your efforts. This drug gets its hooks in deep and can turn personality and mind against us. And use your anger...if you feel depressed or fearful/anxious draw on your anger for energy.Angry energy is good during w/d because we can validate our angers whilst gaining energy to ward off the black clouds. A two for one shopping opportunity....find your anger...arm yourself !!

Shade-so good to see you kicking butt.  I hope if feels that way too!

Shanna- Yes pain meds can do this;increase our pain. I have less pain off Tram than while on it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Post Tramadol Pain Management Diary..part.........the gooey bit...

Ive had a MEGA cold all week, no ordinary spring flu this....zero energy and buckets (literally) of...erm  well you get the idea. I think that I may have triggered this by validating heavy feelings. Like my body is letting go of years of poison.
POISON...this is what stagnant/trapped feelings can turn into. I have some very difficult feelings from an event that occured when I was 4-5 yrs old. It was this: My mother(adoptive) said to me " Your real mother committed suicide because she wanted a girl, but youre LUCKY (her emphasis) because I saved you." There was more to follow.....
Naturally my subconscious had to have me forget this as my young mind had no coping mechanisms to survive it.
This meant that later in life I would need to remember it. Ive been working with the feelings from this event which is why I think my body is being hit so hard.....so time to rest. But it feels SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good.
My body has been demanding pounds of fresh fruit,fish,whole grain yoghurt,fresh veg throughout this. Today I ate a pineapple(yes a whole one) for breakfast and tossed down a pint of hi-juice. My hands were almost shaking my body wanted this stuff so bad!!! I have zero energy,bulk order kleenex etc but I DONT FEEL ILL. I feel like I am GETTING WELL!

Emily-THANKYOUTHANKYOU-I am comfortable with my discomforts today!!!!!!!!!

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 25, 2009
I'm still doing good today, but a couple of new symptoms have popped up and wondered if anyone else had these issues - gums have started swelling and a little spot like a bruise has popped up on the front side (fyi - no problems with teeth previously) and sensitivity to light?  



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by beeb16, Apr 25, 2009
hey sandie,

don't have to apologize here, were all in the same boat.

I started this drug in 1999, it's been a hell of a ride ever since.
been clean at least 6 times that i cant count. c/t'd at least 4 times
maybe more. can't remember. The first 2 times i came off this drug, i don't remember
any withdrawl symptoms, nobody told me about them, so i didn't pay attn.
I have been without this drug for a day or two many times,usually just waiting for
my rx to come in. or too early to pick up refill etc....those c/t's i don't count.

I played baseball for 27 yrs. at different levels,
i've had so many injuries and surgeries, that now i have "chronic" pain. from head to toe.
No one would give my tramadol use a second look. If i ask for "something"
for pain, any doctor would just look at my chart and say "sure".wadda ya want?
once i discovered tramadol, i said "you can take all the oxy's norco,perc and all
the rest" ill take TRAMADOL. It worked best, gave me energy,helped me be superman,
fun to be around,etc...

some people have to lie,steal and cheat to get pain meds.
all i have to do is ask, that' s probably the hardest part for me.
This is my second serious try to come off this stuff, and honestly i didn't have all
this info in my head last time i gave it a shot.

now that i know the long term effects, personality changes, and difficulty of this drug,
i'm sure this will be my last "cold turkey"

Kev, i think that the "soluble" tramadol is probably the BEST idea i've heard in a while.
all you need is a syringe, and you could get as precise as you want on a day to day taper.
it's worth a good try for those who don't want to go cold turkey.

best of luck
more later.

beeb



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by beeb16, Apr 25, 2009
kev that's some HEAVY stuff!

one things for sure, some of those dark ,hidden way in the back childhood  thoughts have been popping
into my head too! I hope me, you and the rest of us can sort it out and learn to move on.
That is exactly the stuff that scares the **** outta me!
When those thoughts get a running start i gotta say " whoa, hold on there a second" this is the WD's talking.
I feel vulnerable right now, like all the bad stuff knows im withdrawing, and decides to come out all at once.

I'm learning to be nice to myself,little by little.

beeb


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by sandie1977, Apr 26, 2009
I'm back.

This is a sad day for me. (Im happy that I am celebrating my daughters b-day today. She turns 8 tomorrow.) but sad because.. embarrased to admit this, but I have fallen off the wagon sort of say.  I gave up trying to get to 1 a day. For the last two days I have maintained 2 a day. But becuz I need the energy today (more then ever) I took another pill. By the time I get to sleep tonight I will have taken 3.

I HAVEN'T TAKEN 3 PILLS IN 2 WEEKS!  

Maybe I can get to 6am tomorrow with out taking another.... maybe.  

Thank you kev for saying that.  I can't begin to tell everyone on here how angry and hateful, and snappy I have been since weaning myself.  I am definetly going to call dr. in am and beg her/him for a dr. prescribed tapering dose and a lower dose of the trammie also.

I looked in my PDR the other day, and noticed that this drug is a catagory C drug. Which means that fetal development hasn't been studied while taking tramadol so to use the med should be more pros then cons.  Think about it... If I am going through this detox what would the baby feel like when born?  (no not pregnant, but want another one in future and dont want to be on something that could or could not cause damage to the baby.)

strugglingnewbie -  No I haven't exp. gum swelling or any sores.  Maybe you have a canker sore or infected gums that is not related to w/d?  not sensitive to light, but noise of any sort quiet/loud makes me jump out of my skin.

Has anyone here expierenced a head ache that resembles someone has placed a metal clamp just above the ears and squeezed? Its more annoying then painful. I also have extreme heaviness in my lower legs (blood pooling sensations).
Even though I have taken the "extra pill" today, I feel droggy and heavy. GRRR.  

Off to celebrate my baby's day!  

sandie

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by Shadetree, Apr 26, 2009
Hey Guys,

Day 5...(tapering & jump off) <-- I put that because I always wonder what the people writing did to get off.) I feel even more normal today. Definately getting better day by day. Im feeling the depression is starting to set in. I feel stronger mentally & I havent missed any sleep. But I can definatley tell the depression is around. Still feel a little lightheaded, not much tho. It really feels great to be almost on the other side of this thing.

Get this, I took my daughter to see a movie last night...Monster vs. Aliens. To my suprise it was in 3D....ha ha. I probably already knew that, but it sure didnt dawn on me..That was sure a challenge. We already paid, its not like I coulda said "Im sorry baby, mommy cant do 3D right now" It was a really good movie, and I made it through. If it had been day 2 or 3....ummm, not so much.

The voices are still begging trying their hardest to convice me this isnt the way to go....But they are fading Not very loud anymore, and they are starting to realize they're not gonna get anywhere. With each days strength, they are becoming harder to "hear".

So all in all, I am so glad I finally mustarded up the strength to do it, (get off) Im feeling better each hour and each day. To you all out there (is has already been said so many times) because its true it does get better. Thanks Kev, It doesnt seem like that to me right now, but it means alot. Sandie, dont get discouraged, I remeber quit well just needing the energy. It will come at your pace. Your still doing great, I know it doesnt feel that way. But you'll see...soon.

Thank you all for being here for me, I will always cherish your friendships...xoxo

~Shadetree

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by BVD660, Apr 26, 2009
Day 13 (tapering & jump <--- that was for you Shade)

Still some chills, sweats, and anxiety, but not too bad.  The physical w/d symptoms have stayed about the same over the last few days.  I hope they get better soon because they're driving me nuts.  I was on this **** for 8 years so I'm sure it will take some time to normalize again.

Shade,  the depression has set in for me as well.  I'm trying to use Kev's and Emily's validation technique to process everything going on in my head, but I don't think I'm very good at it.  I think I can handle the mental part of this though, it's the physical symptoms that are harder for me right now.

I have no desire whatsoever to take tramadol again.  The want, craving, desire is gone and I only want time to pass more quickly so that I can get what's left of this stuff in my body, OUT.

Shanna - I know some have been very sensitive to light.  I think it was Emily who posted that she wore sunglasses inside and out.

Kev, I'm glad you're feeling better.  Beeb, sounds like you're stayin strong.  

Boe

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by 2Sue, Apr 26, 2009
hi
im five weeks off now. im feeling myself,memory much better not having blanks like i was getting,I have terrible suicidal thoughts.(probably shouldnt be saying that)..i know i wont do anything cause i have three boys.but i have chronic pain and i just want a day pain free..awaiting a tens machine and hope it will help..the trams are calling for some relief,,they are in the cupboard, but i know i wont touch them.
im still reading...to sandie, my poor kids suffered , i would bury my head in the cushion and say leave me alone..i had to cause like you i was ratty etc.).....i know it sounds awful and i feel so bad.  but they were ever so good and knew i wasnt well....bless them..im making it up to them now. i was only taking 2 per day 7am then 3pm but had to put a night time one back in..i had soluble so tapered very low...symptoms were much worse on lower doses though.  
most of all your symptoms is recognised. BUT YOU WILL GET IT OUT OF YOUR BODY AND FEEL BETTER.

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 26, 2009
Hi, everyone, this is day 6, (c/t - for you shade), and it's been my best day so far.  I've also had the brain zaps today too though, but it's like the brain is being rewired back to the way it needs to be.  I have more emotions today than i've had in 3 years and it actually feels pretty good.  yeah, some sad emotions, but no real depression, and along with the bad is the good.  I like listening to music again, i want to dance (terrible sight to see), laugh, go out and have fun.  It's been a very long time  since any of that has appealed to me.

For me, the tramadol didn't give me abundant energy or make me lose weight, it just numbed everything and i thought the pain was too bad that i couldn't handle without some kinda of help.  Well, geez, if i gave myself a chance and let myself get past the initial hurdle of the pain it does go away....i don't have to keep taking the pills for the pain to be gone....i just have to let my body try to heal itself and i'm fine in a day or two.  i really think the pain flared in response to the withdrawl and it's led to a vicious cycle.  i hope i'm right about this and it would make life without pills so much easier.

i do have to say it's hard being out in a crowded place.  i did the simple task of going to the grocery store and it was almost too much.  it was so odd.  hard to think, make decisions, the light.  i really hope this part doesn't last long.  :)

sandie, don't beat yourself up too much...it happens and you've showed remarkable restraint in just doing the two for two weeks...i would have found an excuse long before then..your daughter is 8 years old??  i have an 8 year old son.  that really is such a good age.  i also have a 19 year old son and believe me, i wish i had appreciated his 8 year old self a little more.  but, kids are smarter and more forgiving than we give them credit for and if they know you are just trying to get better they will understand.  

2sue, i used a tens unit for a while and it really did help.  i hope it helps you as well.

hope everyone has a good weekend and thanks again for sharing your stories and listening to mine.  it has been a true blessing to have found this forum just when i needed it most.

Shanna

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by Bigman7778, Apr 26, 2009
  Strugglingnewbie about your comments on your emotions and pain, I could't agree with you more.I feel like almost a new person now that I am off that terrible drug(15days) yah! Every time the prostate pain would start up or my feet would start to burn I would think, you need a pill.Thats just not the answer anymore.When last at Doc  to get anitbiotic and atifungal forTHE UTI  THAT WON'T GO AWAY(3rd course in last 6 wks) Doc said I need to get urinary cath for test to determine what exactly the problem is.He has said this in the past but I was always too chicken  **** to do it (I know extreme wimp) but this time I said sure why not. That was my original pain complaint,frequent painful uti. If I just would gone in and had this test I might have been able to solve this problem then. I might not have wasted last 3 yrs of my life  Just feel different off the tram.Much more ready to be proactive and to work on my many myriad problems.While on tram I wanted to and did lock myself away in my apt and self medicate on every level food ,sex,tramadol .I was completely apathetic about myself and pretty much everyone else on the planet.Basically wanted to die.Off the tramadol I just do not feel that way anymore.I know I am down a deep hole but for the first time in a long time I feel like I am making progress towards a better life!        Best to eveybody.     Later Bigman7778

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by beeb16, Apr 26, 2009
day 12 for me .

feeling stronger everyday. Still dealing with fatigue like i havent seen in a while.
the kind of tiredness that coffee cant'get rid of.
but once i get going it seems hard to stop, maybe til 3 or 4 in the morning.
not feeling cloudy or depressed, just tired.
we all get a tendency to 'kick" ourselves when things don't go just right.
whatever you gotta do to survive, you gotta do.
working through issues and pain is hard when you don't have the strength to
barely make it through the day. So whatever it takes. Hour to hour.
I'm getting to the "just one wont hurt" phase. gotta be strong this next week.

more later.
beeb

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by ultraumatized, Apr 27, 2009
this is my first day completely pain med free!  i'm so happy to be done with it all.  i had expected to take that last lortab saturday, but i fell asleep feeling okay & took it yesterday morning instead.  still no major withdrawal symptoms as far as i can tell...i am so thankful.  the last time i went off trams was the worst misery i can remember.  i am still taking elavil for depression & it seems to be working okay as well.  my daughter came home yesterday and i have to admit i didn't really have the energy to keep up with her, she spent the afternoon/evening pretty bored but i kept telling myself it's better for us to hang out & be bored than for me to be floating around in outer space with her.  when my boyfriend came home from doing laundry the 3 of us went for a late walk & it was really nice.  one thing i've noticed about coming off of trams is that everything smells SO strongly.  it was nice to get out & breathe spring all around us.  i truly hope that i don't have a symptom relapse, it feels good to feel good without meds for a change...i write a lot in my spare time & i went back to read what i went thru when i kicked trams at the first of the year, it seems like i was completely torn up from the moment i went off until the moment i went back on...i don't feel that way at all this time.  i feel almost like i cheated somehow, but at the same time i don't think dying a little again would make it stick any better...i think i could actually get used to sobriety if it feels this way.

my boyfriend & i watched an interesting program saturday about different types of drugs & addiction.  there was one part that showed a man who had been addicted to cocaine for many years...they did scans of his brain & found that certain areas flared up when he was subconsciously triggered by things that reminded him of his addiction.  he didn't even realize he was having these feelings...his brain was acting on impulses without him even being aware.  to me this made a lot of sense.  in the past i have been clean for several weeks at a time & suddenly before i even have a moment to think of what i'm doing i have called my doctor or filled out an online prescription form.  if what the program explained is true for other addicts, maybe that's why we sometimes break down when we absolutely know better...& maybe knowing that can help.

i hope everyone has a better week & stays strong.  good luck to you all!

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by Shadetree, Apr 27, 2009
Good Morning All,

Day 6 for me...Back to work today, it is rainy here & that surely doesnt help the "monday blues". But Im feelin better today, the depression is still here. I am trying to fight it my hardest. But the tram voices are using it against me. "you really want to feel this way?" "Dont you remember how you felt when you took me?" "Im really not as bad as you think" "I really am pretty harmless" "Do you really think your marriage can survive you being off me?" "Your kids think your a total bitch"
Just to share a few... :( Sorry Im down today...  : ' (

Ultra ~ Wonder if I was watching the same show...I seen one on cocaine followed by one on heroin. There was also one on meth, but I didnt watch that one. I know exactly want you mean for me triggers are every day life. Doing laundry, cleaning, making dinner...doing those simple things trigger it for me. It made it fun for me, made me more productive. But I havent always been on it... so I wont be. It is very hard though, and that makes total sence to me. Your brain is making you do things (because it has been triggered) before you even know what is going on. Then you realize what is going on and its like your the last one that needs convinced....so the debate begins. (For me anyway)

I am far from being out of the woods, but I am fighting to get out and I will get my life back!

~Shade

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by ultraumatized, Apr 27, 2009
yes shade, that was the program.  i watched the end of the meth one & then got a little ways thru the heroin one afterwards but got too tired to watch anymore.  i totally understand the triggers also...i felt like a machine on trams, able to do anything & it was always so much easier that way.  it was really empty tho...i have to admit that much.  i'm not missing it so far & it's day 7 here, i just hope that feeling sticks!

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 27, 2009
Shade - I totally relate.  It's the everyday things that are my triggers too.  How in the world do you overcome those??  I guess I could always hire a maid and quit work....Not sure how would we afford to eat if I did either one of those things, but I guess that would solve that nasty weight gain problem...

Shanna

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by ultraumatized, Apr 27, 2009
ugg...i don't usually post so much, but i had a real scare this morning.  i had to dig thru my backpack earlier & guess what i found at the bottom?  one lonely tram hidden under everything.  i swear it nearly caused me to have a panic attack & i haven't had one of those in ages.  it took everything i had to walk down the hall & drop it in the toilet...i told it to f---off when i flushed it...kinda silly, but true.  that was a couple of hours ago & i haven't felt right since...it's like my whole body is on alert now...i feel completely spaced out.  i was seconds away from putting that d*mned pill in my mouth...i was feeling fine & then all of a sudden i was craving like crazy...i guess i still am & that's why i feel so weird.  at least it's gone & over with, i hope i can get it out of my mind soon & get back to the happy place i was in.  what a hateful, evil, little drug...

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by Shadetree, Apr 27, 2009
Shanna ~ That sounds like a good plan...lol
But seriously I dont know how you get over those kinds of triggers. My mind just goes over and over, this would be great if you took a couple tramadol. You dont feel like cleaning, no problem...take a couple you can, and will clean the whole house. I am only on day 6 and I guess work may be a trigger too, because I have been fighting about it all morning.

~Shade

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by Shadetree, Apr 27, 2009
Ultra ~ sorry didnt mean to forget ya...My attention span is kinda non existant right now..lol Great job! Wow, Im not sure I coulda done that. That is true strength...How long have you been off?

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by BVD660, Apr 27, 2009
Hey everybody,

It's two weeks today, yes 14 days.  It is the first day I haven't broken out in a cold, sick feeling sweat of physical withdrawal.  I almost feel human again.  Still kind of lethargic like beeb, but it's definately been my best day since quitting.

I also feel very grateful today.  I know as a fact that I would never have been able to do this without knowing that I am not in this alone.  It was Emily's story that convinced me to quit and it's been all of you that have kept me going.  So today I just want to say Thanks Emily, and Thanks to each of you.  I am forever grateful.

Boe

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by sandie1977, Apr 27, 2009
still taking 2 a day...

left message for dr. to call back. no response.

back to work today, its training though. I feel some brain zaps today though, and my body has been used to taking 2 pills a day for 2 or more weeks now.  So i dont get the "zaps" today.

Feeling depressed today. Keep analyzing my feelings about everyone and everything.  I think I am starting to see things now I was not clear on before. Like my current relationship...

I dont feel like writing today. In pain, feeling down, and just want to veg out.

good night

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by beeb16, Apr 27, 2009
day 13 here.

still a little depression, little tired but nothing major.

saw that heroin show sat. night. interesting.
I feel this is about as good as it gets for a couple of days.
i'm still at about 90 percent.
for me the hardest part of the day is getting up in the morning,
and right before or during falling asleep.
The morning, cause i physicaly fell like and old man
and Night, cause the emotional thoughts start to come back.

the dreams i'm having are out of this world!
Saturday night i dreamt there was a tornado coming and  i just had to take a walk. at night.
When i woke up the curtains were blowing in hard cause there was a storm coming.

strange dreams.

more later

beeb

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by beeb16, Apr 27, 2009
Physically feel "cloudy" here on day 13.

cut the grass today, had a cookout.
still don't feel 100 percent though.

Been reading about all the "cures" some people recommend on the Internet.
Some say chamomille tea, others say Marijuana, some say  prozac or banana's,
Man, there,s alot to choose  from, At this point i think i'll just stick to Coffee.

I'm feeling less and less "emotional' at this point, but still know it's there.
As i said before, my dreams are really weird. maybe thats a side effect of wd's.

shana, i did get blurry vision in early wd. Also my fingertips are extremely numb.
only on my left hand though. Doctor said "neuropathy"  but i dont really trust his
"decisionmaking" at this point.

My caffeine intake is through the "roof" at this point. Drinking about 5 or 6 cups a day.

I have no desire to take a tramadol nor do i have any cravings.But in the back of my
mind i feel like i need "something" . Hopefully, it's just the wd's talking.

all in all it's much better than the "hell" i went through to get to day 13.
still remember those first 4 days, wouldn't want to go back there!

Best of luck to all those who are struggling with me. I wouldn't really call it a struggle at
this point, but it aint no walk in the park either.Getting "slightly" easier day by day.


beeb




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by KernowTramBoy, Apr 28, 2009
Hi
I have been reading this for a while and have some thoughts to share. Sorry its a long post but thought I'd get all over in one go!!!!

I have had severe pain from an ankle injury and botched reconstruction and have become a tramadol addict. I think I am a little luckier than some of yous though as I dont really crave the drug mentally but my body is totally dependant on it and I suffer hellish withdrawal. Unlike others here if I miss a dose or two it can take me a good 24 hours of regular dosing to get back to normal. Also I get god awful nightmares.

Any one else get this??

I am a bit forgetful  and occasionally forget to pick up from the chemist and have had to do a few weekends with out the meds. I also have a freind who has been off Tram for about seven months now and she was taking over twice the prescribed dose. I think A key thing with Tram addicton is not to take more than is prescribed!!! After chatting to my friend about how she quit and after having to deal with  withdrawal after running out of meds I have found a few things that help.

Hot baths help an awful lot...Move into the bath if you can.
Drink lots of water.
Paracetmol or ibprofen for sweats and headaches.
Take lots of vitmains especially C as is a good antioxidant - Cranberry jucie is good too.
Magnesium supplements help with the muscle aches.
Tryptophan (an amnio acid) helps by inhibitting seritonin reuptake (Tramadol also does this) via 5HT receptors. This REALLY helps with mood and nightmares. Available from health food shops it can make you feel sick when you first take it but it is SOOOO worth it.
Try not to lie around in bed etc too much this can actually make muscle aches and pains alot worse.
Exercise is a big help it's not easy to motivate your self to do, especially in first few days, but it really helps with aches and stuff. Actually found swimming to be good if you can face leaving your house.

When you are going to quit then taper the dose over months if you can. If you have capsules then open them up and split the powder into four. Buy some cigerette papers and wrap the powder up cut away excess paper . This can then be swallowed with water allowing for more controlled tapering with out the foul taste and mouth/throst burns. The drug can be snorted but it hurts like hell so wouldn't recomend it!

A few other things that can help but not everyone is likely to agree cause these things involve some other drugs but these will help alot.

Tramadols opiate action is on the u-opiate (Mu) receptors of the brain, this is not its only action as it also acts on the seritonin systems too.

So if you take something that also acts on u-opiate receptors alot of the symptoms will repressed. Codine containing meds are brilliant for this but it is important to stop use after 4-7 days as these can be habit forming. Valium and librium help too - both are benzo's and if dosed properly will make you sleep for Britain! Again only for 1st 4-7 days.

As mentioned Tryptophan is really good for mood and helps with bad dreams. Hash helps alot, weed is not as good as it's lighter, this helps massively with mood and sleep loss particularly if its eaten. IF you eat enough you may even sleep thorugh the first 24 hours or so. Also if you cant eat this will help as you will have the munchies. But again only do this for the first 4-7 days.

A BIG NO NO, is alcohol it just makes it worse and you end up hungover!!

I hope these tips can help some of yous, I have studied chemistry at uni so have tried to apply a bit of a sciencey approach to this...Wikipidiea is good for background reading. I am not ready to stop yet as I am due more surgery and am still in chronic pain but will use most of these when the time comes!!

with love

Kernow Tram Boy

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by sandie1977, Apr 28, 2009
I feel so not motivated to go to work today. Tired. Irritated Depressed.

Decided to leave b/f. When he comes home today he will see all my things gone.  I dont live with him, but I have personal things in his place that when gone will be noticeable.  Its probaly a very dumb thing to do, but I am starting to see how negative he is. And I am seeing how he never wants to do anything with me. I feel like I have to put a guilt trip on him to do anything with me.  I know this is personal, but I think that getting rid of all negative things in my life, may make me a better person.

Anyways...

Tired today. Dont want to face the world, but have too.
My left leg has starting having shooting pains run down the upper thigh, making it impossible to sit for long periods of time.

I appreciate all the kind words, encouragements I have recieved in this forum. I feel like I have failed myself, but I know I havent. Just waiting on dr. to return call so I can lower my dose. Then I can really start dropping out of trammie school.

till next time

sandie

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 28, 2009
Just a quick note - this is day 7 for me - a whole week!!!  I feel pretty good.  Better than I thought I would today because yesterday was a little rough on me.  

It was my first day back at work since being off any type of pain meds and how did I want something just to make that shoulder feel a little better and get through the day with a smile on my face....So I brought out the music again and that helped and then joined a gym after work and i'm hoping that will help....keep myself busy so i can't think about how easy it is to get a rx for pain meds or tramadol.  

So far the effects are really letting up.  I'm sleeping sooo much better.  I think I got a full night's sleep last night for the first time since I went c/t.  No tossing and turning for hours on end and I actually feel rested.  Just a few brain zaps yesterday and the light sensitivity seems to have eased up.  And just fyi - when I did go c/t I got all the amino acids recommended, vitamins, and calcium and magnesium and did hot baths with epsom salts and  it seemed to help.  Not sure if that was more of a placebo effect or not, but I do think the magnesium/calcium and hot baths were probably the most comforting and offered immediate relief.  

I hope everyone else is doing okay in their journey!

Shanna

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by KernowTramBoy, Apr 28, 2009
Hi

Sorry I left out some stuff. I have been on Tramadol for 2.5 years with a two week gap. None of the methods above are a 'Cure' for withdrawal symptoms. The idea is that they make the first 4-7 days alot easier. Tryptophan can be used whenever, especially if you are having bad dreams,  if you are going to give up then try and start taking it aweek or two before you quit.Valium/librium are prescription only so these can only be got if you have a sympathetic doctor.

I have quit smoking and cocaine use in the past and found that tapering the doses prior to going 'Cold Turkey' Is always the best way forward as it makes w/d symptoms much less problamatic. However Tramadol is certainly more addictive then nicotine and coke and w/d symptoms are worse. It is best to try and get a two week gap from the world when quitting any substance. It is also very important to keep eating as much as possible as this will make it easier. Treat your self with kid gloves and love.

On the one occasion I tried to stop tram I lasted two weeks before the pain in my ankle got too bad again and following a lengthy disscussion with my doctor was put back onto Tram. Doctors seem to think it is much lesss addictive than other opiate pain meds. I was on Codeine for 1 year prior to Tram and found it much easier to give up, but had too as it made me edgy and I quickly developed tollerance to it

Another imporatant thing to do is to inform close friends and family of what you are doing as thier comfort and support is very valuable.

Hope this helps....

Kernow Tram Boy

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by ultraumatized, Apr 28, 2009
hi everyone, this is my 8th day off trams & 2nd day completely pain med free.  

someone posted before that by taking another pain medication the withdrawal symptoms would only be masked & return once that medication was stopped...that hasn't been the case for me at all.  i haven't had any new physical or mental withdrawal symptoms so far...a little sneezy & my eyes keep watering, sort of irritable at times but over all i still feel pretty good.  again...this is my personal experience & i don't recommend anyone to just jump onto some other medication, but it really has made the process immensely easier than the times i've gone off trams in the past.  i agree with kernow that if you do try to use another type of opiate to get off ultram that you don't exceed 4-7 days on it.  i also agree that it's much easier to get off other pills/drugs...i've taken a lot of different things over the years & ultram is the ONLY drug i've ever had trouble kicking.

i was a mess yesterday morning after i found that last tram & flushed it.  i got a terrible headache & everything was far too intense, bright, REAL...i felt like i was having an anxiety attack, i was so dizzy i could barely walk...i ended up leaving class & coming home.  i got so wound up i finally had to lie down & nap for a couple of hours...it really helped a lot.  once i got up i was fine & more productive than i had been in several days.

i have so much respect for those of you who are trying to get off trams by tapering or ct'ing without any help.  i hope you all feel better today & keep up the good work!

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by Shadetree, Apr 28, 2009
Good morning all...

Today is day 7 for me... I feel really good today, Still a little "spacy" but getting better by the day. I was down yesterday morning, but by afternoon I was in a great mood. I have been taking protien shake in the am packed with all the amino's so Im sure that is helping tremendously. I have started weight training again, little by little. But It helps too. I am starting to feel like my old self again. Lost her for a min, but she's comin back around. )

Sandie ~ Im sorry you are going through other struggles in your life along with the biggest one... I too have questioned whether my relationship will last me "getting back to normal" I think that was the main reason I started taking them to mask the world and the hurt I was going through. But I know that is no way to live, so I vow to stop being a couward and face my problems. So we will see what it brings...

Everyone is doing great. Thanks for all the support (I cant say that enough)

~Shade

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by Bigman7778, Apr 28, 2009
Hi everybody.Day 17 for me.Feel normal with respect to my mind,body,and emotions.Moderate pain today, antibiotics and anitfungal have not totally worked yet.Hoping that they do.If the pain persists I will just have to see Urologist.Never pleasant but apparently ineveitble.Hoping that its not cancer.Still glad I quit Tramadol.Still worth Quittting, even  if I get diagnosed with something heavy. I didn't have to worry about pain when taking at the levels tthat I was.Not sure if I said this before on this site but I was also getting 60 Loratabs a month as well.Between the two, I stayed high(ended up as primary goal) and pain free. As a result,of course I was completely apathetic about myself in all areas especially health.This may cost me big time. Hope not.Thanks for letting me share with all good people .Best to all.         Later Bigman7778

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by noodlegrl, Apr 28, 2009
Today is day 34 (taper and jump) - Work has triggered bad post withdrawal crap... better today than I was yesterday though. But no time to post probably for a day or 2.. we will see.. good luck and congrats to everyone!

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by suzipen, Apr 28, 2009
Hi everyone,
I tried to read all the posts, but havent been able to, but I would like to offer my support to all you fighting this awful drug.
I am 159 days free of tramadol.
I sincerely applaud all of you. This is a very hard thing to overcome, but you guys are so lucky to have each other to help you thru it.  This place was a lifesaver for me. I was glued to this thread, and it stopped me from taking a pill many many times.
The physical part sux, but the emotional rollercoaster was the absolutely worse.
However, I am still trying to get the weight off that I gained after w/ding. I think the worse physical symptom for me was severe
stomach issues. Big bloated stomach-YUCK!  I even had a couple of people thinking I was pregnant.  Not a good feeling.

Emotionally...........well, this took alittle longer to get under control. I cried ALL the time. And I mean All the time. Happy,sad,mad- it didnt matter. I just cried.
Now, looking back- I feel it was a cleansing process. I obviously needed to do that. It was actually very healing for me.

All those years of being in the "fog". I had a lot to wake up to.

Now, after all this being said- I want to offer hope to all of you.
I know it has been said over and over again, BUT it does get better.

YOU WILL return to "normal". (whatever that is)   :)

I really want to post more, but obligations are calling.......................

Sending strength to all of you,

suzi


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by 2Sue, Apr 28, 2009
hi noodle
wot did you mean triggered 'post withdrawal crap'. im just ahead of you and my depreesion seems to be getting worse, dont know if its the constant pain, the family set up or the thought of work. im at work tomorrow and dont want to face anyone..im in a not so good place.have had loads of sicktime this past 8 months with this pain..so dont want to go off again.
ive always had a tendency to low mood but this is something worse.
just wanted to know if  i will improve or need some help from doc.(is it trams)....i know people are reevaluating their lives, but that is not an option for me.  

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by 2Sue, Apr 28, 2009
hi again,
ultuamitised,,can i ask y did u go back on after 30 days,i mite hav missed reason,. im starting to want to feel better than i do now....
also suzi, soo.. well done,     is a month off a bad phase cause i have felt much better than this since coming off.. im glad you mentioned the bloated stomach cause wen i look down.....it wasnt so bad two weeks ago.it could be all the chocs im eating,but if you can give me a better reason.ill have it.lol.
I know to all you just coming off this negativity doesnt seem so good, but believe me id rather still be here, than on the trams,i just need a bit of tweaking i think.

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by KernowTramBoy, Apr 28, 2009
Hi

Having read more posts from earlier parts of this I have noticed that alot of people seem to struggle after the first week or two with depression and other emotional type problems.

I have a couple of questions for people and it would be good if people around the 15-45 day and 45- 100 days point  could try and answer them

Have any of you seen councillors or therapists regarding these feelings and symptoms?

Are any of you taking tryptophan (5HT) or other amino acids/supplements?

Have any of you with stomach problems such as bloating tried taking either liquid alo vera or mint type infusions? Both from health food stores.

In experiences giving up  non-prescription drugs the first two were very helpfull particularly with cravings and the like especially if you get a good therapist. I am just trying to get an idea of the intamediate effects of quitting. With other drugs it is common to get 'Itches to use' at 30 days, 3 months 6 months and 12 months so am kinda thinking this will be the same?




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by ultraumatized, Apr 28, 2009
for 2Sue and Kernow 30 days (give or take a couple) has been my breaking point every time for at least the past 3 years...i started taking the drug on & off for back & neck pain about 4 or 5 years ago.  i have an addictive personality & it didn't take long to start taking them excessively to get high...it also didn't help to know i could get ultram any time i wanted it since so many docs would rather dish it out rather than "real" narcotics.  my ex-husband started taking them with me sometimes & then we got on the kick of ordering them online every other month w/my pharm visits in between.  i finally left him, but unfortunately still couldn't get rid of the tram habit.  

when i went off in january it was absolute hell for the first week or two...then around the middle of february i broke & got back on trams...that was a very bad day & i will forever be ashamed of breaking the way i did.  i had a short clean period in between then & now where it seems (from reading my journals) that i was feeling okay without the meds, but i had some very important events coming up that i was just too afraid to face completely sober...so i made excuses & lied to myself & everyone else & hopped back on.  i went thru over 200 pills in little more than a month, my tolerance built up really quick since i had been on them shortly before & i was taking WAY too many every day.  i pretty much knew what i was going to be in for when i was done, so i talked to my doc about going back on elavil for depression & getting a different pain med--i told her i could no longer tolerate the effects of ultram (& boy is that true!).

i'm feeling "ok" now.  it's my 8th day off trams & i managed to bypass most of the physical side-effects & some of the mental/emotional probs, but i'm not out of the woods by any means.  i'm still struggling to keep myself together.  i get dizzy nearly every time i stand up, i'm sneezing my head off & my eyes water constantly (thank goodness it's spring & i can blame it on allergies).  everything is hyper real to me & way too intense at times.  i've had to nap for the past two days because everything is so overwhelming...i feel like if i don't rest my heart will explode.  i've been extremely irritable & grouchy and it seems like i bounce from having a lot of energy to having absolutely none in a matter of minutes.  i know i feel better than i would have if i had jumped off cold turkey, but i definitely don't feel "right".

i don't know what it is that makes me keep falling off the wagon after 30 days...i wish i did so that i can combat it better this time.  i can say that when i hit the month mark this time my situation is going to be entirely different.  i was getting my meds either thru a doc who just moved his practice out of town, my college clinic or online...i graduate in a couple weeks so there will be no more pain meds to help me come down if a "next time" were to occur...i can also say i DO NOT want to go thru another withdrawal like i did in january.  as far as ordering more, i really need to conserve money because i don't know what my job situation is going to be. i also would hate to have my boyfriend find out i was ordering drugs behind his back, he's been an angel thru all of this & i'm so fed-up with lying to him...i just can't do it anymore.

what i really want, more than anything, is to just wake up one morning & go about my day & go to sleep at night without ever thinking about tramadol.  i want to forget about it...i also want to know when people who have been on it & stopped finally feel like they have truly recovered?  when does all the emotional/mental stuff stop?  i can handle the physical discomfort, because it only goes on so long...but when do we get our brains & hearts back?

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by noodlegrl, Apr 28, 2009
Real quick - 2Sue - I mean, work has been really slow - like, phones dead, sending people home early, sit around, eyes glazing over, can surf the internet slow.... and then all of a sudden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Busier than busy! 4 lines ringing non-stop - so much calls were rolling over to voicemail because there were no available lines.. just a lot of stuff that I was not prepared for yet. Busy is good but this was just completely unexpected and overwhelming for 1 person and everyone else was like "la de da!". I actually had to yell out "I NEED HELP!" at one point because everyone else was like "la de da" like they couldn't hear the phone ringing off the hook. Sooo this intensely extremely stressful situation that lasted ALL DAY LONG brought out early withdrawal feelings.. I almost couldn't handle it.. today has been better but still overwhelming... and I think it has to do with all I've been going through because I could have handled this better before tram. And of course.. day 33 all this happens and one of my thoughts were "if i had a tram this would be easier" just about broke my heart.... going back on the devil pill is not an option..  

soo.. due to this and not being able to get on MH at home, I will probably be out of pocket for a few.. but maybe not.. we shall see.. till then, good luck to everyone.. you can do it!

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by grandmagirl, Apr 28, 2009
Sandie1977....
     Your going to feel better really soon. I'm 34 days out and thought I was going to lose my mind half way through...I went cold turkey  .drug my sorry self to work. Cried in the restroom at work and on the way home. The only way I could do this was pure will power and wanting so bad to feel better. As I read every one posting I was sure that if I just kept going I would get better. I am a lot better and am starting to feel normal again. I had the pains running down my legs also. Severe panic attacks at work and a lot of heavy sweating in the morning. It's gone away.... So keep going your doing great...You will feel better each day...

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by KernowTramBoy, Apr 28, 2009
Ultratrumatized, Have you tried taking antihistamines for the sneezing, eye watering thing? I have been told/read that there is some kind of response that goes on during opiate type w/d that can cause allergic type reactions...  

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by Bigman7778, Apr 28, 2009
Idiot Doctor called just a few minutes ago and shared with me that the backwardass country Hospital in the small hick town that I currently live in and stated that I was going to have to have urinary cath(very painful)redone because said hospital did not do a Culture.That was the only reason I had the test done there in first place!Idiots all!Off with their heads!Well, maybe not that bad but still sux on a major league level. Planning on having a wee(laugh) meeting with head of Administration and have a little talk with him reguarding competence of staff in lab. Sorry had to share my slight misfortune(in the scheme of things)with someone before I ran my BP throught the roof.Almost went and got tramadol due to pain that won't go away.That was after I went and got copy of lab report that said no infection.I knew I was three to four weeks away from even seeing the Urologist.3 to 4 weeks staring me in the face with moderate pain and  with definite prospect  of pain increasing to very high levels.Its been said by Doctors that the closest men will ever come to birth pain is Severe Prostate pain , and when it comes it just stays 24 -7.I have have gone through this experience before,31/2 weeks before I could see Dr.and with no pain meds.As bad as the pain is, thats not the worst part.Its the mental and emottional pain.By the time I saw the doctor (first time I had ever met him)I started crying.Its like the emotions you get when you go ct on tram only it does not go away after 5 days.That was my intro to the evil tram.Might have to get script for Loratab tomorrow.Really don"t want to but not sure what else to do . Would be totally open to any suggestions.wishing everyone nothing but the best.Later, Big.

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by grandmagirl, Apr 28, 2009
Any pain that makes you cry needs medical attention. Do what you have to do. Call the Dr's get something to get you through....Hope you feel better soon...

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by Bigman7778, Apr 28, 2009
Thanks. Big

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by BVD660, Apr 28, 2009
Hey guys,

Day 15 and I'm still tram free.  I'm having these crazy voices tell me every time I leave the house that I should stick a couple of pills in my coin pocket just in case you might need them.  Maybe a xanax if you have an anxiety attack, or something if you get a headache.  It's ridiculous, I've popped pills for everything for such a long time that it's taking some getting used to living without them.

For 8 years, I always stuck my tramadol in my coin pocket so it was there every 4 to 6 six hours when I needed it.  It was such a security blanket for me and gave me a warm fuzzy knowing it was there for me.  And now the trams are no longer there, I don't have any (flushed them all), don't want any, but it makes me feel so insecure.

It's weird stuff....



Feel better Big.  No man should have to be snaked up the front....especially twice.  

Boe

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 28, 2009
Big, I completely agree with grandmagirl!!  This sounds like serious pain and you don't need to be suffering needlessly.  Hope it gets better soon.

Shanna



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by EmilyPost, Apr 28, 2009
((((Big))))

Get the Loratab or some other opiate. They aren't as bad to get off of as Tramadol or a Benzo!

(((((((((((Big))))))))))))))) More hugs for you ...

I'll be back

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by Bigman7778, Apr 29, 2009
Thanks toGrandma,struggling,Bvd, and Emily.I really appreciate the pos feedback.Got Doc to write 20 Loratabs for when I need them..Going to take them only when I really need them as apt with Urologist is not until june 9th.Went and had second cath this morning and it was completely opposite experience.Two beautifulR.N.  did the procedure and it was quick, much less painful,and handled in a very professitonal manner.Kinda embarassing since these girls were so atrractive but yet all the more enjoyable on some different kind of level.Right now no pain at all and feeling well. Not sure who posted this thought but it was something about the Green herb and how it helped with pain and withdrawal .I live in state(GA) that has no medical marijuana laws and has not been decriminalized(yes it really does suck) so that smoking is just not worth it.Consequences are too heavy.For the folks who do live in those wonderful states is that a way to cope with constant  pain?Not sure if I should ask this question or if its in bad taste so please don't answer unless you are completely comfortable answerng.I'm curious because I want to move to Cal in a year to year and a half and I want to know if just the medical marijuana could get me the thru w/o all narcoticss..I just have to get out of the deep south! Thanks for all your help and supoort .You people mean an awful lot to me.Later Big.

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by grandmagirl, Apr 29, 2009
Big...I'm so glad your feeling better. Calif. does have medical green...but you really need to research the laws for it here in California..... It's still a bit iffy if you get pulled over with it or your growing it for your own use. Getting it is not a problem it's getting caught with it that would suck.. Do the research and see what you come up with....So glad your feeling better....

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by 2Sue, Apr 29, 2009
hi day 38
Thanks ultra for sharing your experience of 30 days.ive a feeling you will make it this time.. you are having 'normal' side effects and they will ease. i dont get them anymore.

grandmagirl.u r so right, we have to keep going. ive not had to take anything apart from mild analgesia and vitamins..cause im scared to get addicted again.this is my first experience

i havnt heard of half the meds youall talk about for substituting or easing symptoms. ,maybe under a diffo name in england..
boe, have you tried putting a smartie or sucky sweet in your pocket..

big, i know pains are all different .i have 24/7 chronic pain, it intensified first few weeks post tram .i now have good days and bad days with it, but its always there.docs no help and i cant take strong painkillers,,too sensitive to them all..i may need op in future to find its cause,but its in my chest region, across my diaphragm....this has been the worst trying to get relief. im being referred to a pain clinic and im going to get a tens machine..they can help some people.ill keep you informed...im booking in for reflexology too.
sue

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by EmilyPost, Apr 29, 2009
Well, Big, I'm in Southern California, which has had legal medical marijuana for over 10 years. And like GrandmaGirl said, it's not a problem unless something goes wrong. From what I have heard, Obama has asked states to ease off the Medical Pot.  California Police supposedly (at least in LA) are turning a blind eye. Or, taking people's green. Yes, the Cops in LA are very corrupt. For tons of patients, it doesn't go wrong. The fact is, if they taxed California's Medical Marijuana, the largest Cash Crop in CA, we'd destroy the insane deficit here. There's talk of doing that and personally I wish they would. Do I think it's better than Narcotics/Opiates. Yes. Yes.

But it's a very personal choice. And obviously if you have a job where they test for green, they can fire you. If that's the kind of business they do.  

I work in an Industry where it's just very normal for all my coworkers to get DUI's.

But yes, for what I hear, and what I have seen, the Medical Pot here in CA is really good and super specific. So, yes, I'm pro-legalization. I mean, a DOCTOR gave me Tramadol and A Benzo ... and that seems ... very very wrong to me.



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by EmilyPost, Apr 29, 2009
Sue! Reflexology is awesome! I'm excited for you!

I had some recently and it was the best massage-treatment of my life. After a treatment things can get a bit stirred up .. BUT ... I love it!

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by 2Sue, Apr 29, 2009
thanks emily.hoping it will stir things up and put it back together properly.lol..you 'sound  a bit better'???

someone just reminded   me of something i said i an earlier post which may help those that are still tapering..the 50 % rule...when tapering if you only half your dose it is still a big jump....50 grams to nothing, thats 100% jump...if you taper to 25 thats 50%effect,     going to 12.5mg is a massive75% drop   (from 50mg), I read this before i tapered and it made sense.hope it does to you.when i got to 12.5.its still a 100% jump so if like me you cant jump keep this in mind. and work in percentages.get some solubles..
sue

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by beeb16, Apr 29, 2009
day 15 here.

i'm stuck in that space where i'm 90 percent and expect to be getting to 100.
just not happening, nothing i cant handle but it feels like trying to lose that last 10 lbs.

no more anxiety, no rls, little depression. plenty of sleep.
Maybe it's the coffee that causing the restlessness or the feeling that i need "just one little thing"
It's not a pain killer i need or an anti depressant. just something get rid of that last 10 percent.
maybe it's just the body returning to normal.
been reading about how trams cause neuropothy, i believe they did in my case.

Dreams are still strange though. sleeping odd hours .
craving sweets like you wouldnt believe!

no more sneezing, no more dizziness or lightheaded

more later.

beeb

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by BVD660, Apr 29, 2009
16 days here...

Getting to 16 days seemed like an eternity 16 days ago. Still have some of the anxiety and chills but it's livable now.  At least I'm no longer breaking out into cold, sick sweats at random times throughout the day.

Weird dreams here too beeb.  Last night I dreamt I was walking down a winding road in the middle of the night, but it was still light enough to see.  As I would round every corner there was a tramadol post (from this forum) in big, bold, tall, three dimensional letters. There was a stool placed on the side of the road at the bottom of each post for me to climb up and see out over the big letters and read it from the top down to the bottom where I was standing.  In between each post was tall corn so I couldn't see a post until I walked up to it.  That's about all I remember, but pretty strange eh?

Yes, I was reading this forum before I went to bed last night.  Maybe that had something to do with it.

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by beeb16, Apr 29, 2009
see!
i'm not the only one.

dreams are so vivid.feel like i'm there.
speaking of chills, yea i get that too, body is still trying to regulate between hot and cold.

The randomness of depression symptoms is odd too. I could wake up "perfectly" fine
then for no reason, slight depression.It comes it goes.
no rhyme or reason.

phyisically no symptoms. I am a diabetic but luckily i havent had any major symptoms til
now.
nueropothy.tingling feet and hands.

another thing i remember is emily talking about the "dirty" sweat. Feels like you're sweating and someone throws.
dust on you. very "pasty" feeling to it.

Emily, i have been reading those journals the last few days, all i can say is."pure genius"
those journals take me step by step into this whole "struggle" the who,why when comes back.
The insanity i felt while using in the past, not knowing why i was feeling a certain way, wanting someone to
understand me. Knowing that somthing was "different" with this drug. Not being able to put my finger on it.
I highly recommend reading these journals.
feeling like you are not "alone" was the first step to getting better for me.
there are "others" who feel exactly like i do? thank you god, i'm not alone.I'm not going crazy.

the feelings i have now are strange, it's been a long time since i knew how to be me. like i'm learning all
over again. My coping skills were "bad day?" take a tramadol. Lonely? take a tramadol.
for 10 years i never knew how to live. without a pill.

later.
beeb


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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 29, 2009
I had a really good day yesterday, but then....2 am came and I was still wide awake and the aniexty is through the roof.  All day I have felt as taunt as a bow and just can't relax.  This is such an unusual feeling for me.  I have no idea how to handle it.  I've never had a problem with aniexty or depression like i've had since going off of tramadol.  I do have some ativan, but i'm leery about using it.  I don't want to end up dependent on anything else...any suggestions on how to handle the aniexty?

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by BVD660, Apr 29, 2009
Shanna,

The anxiety has been the hardest thing for me also. I would get so bad during the first 10-12 days that I would just be in a panic, instantly dripping with "sick" sweat, feeling extremely hot and flush with chills traveling up my spine and down my arms.  

At night, I have taken some diphenhydramine (Benadryl) a few times to help me sleep, but when it happened (still does, just not as bad), I've just had to suffer through it.

I'm 15 days now, and it wasn't until about day 12 or 13 that it started to let up.  I'm like you and don't want to become dependent on some other drug for sleep or anxiety.  If you can make it another few days I'm sure the anxiety will start to let up.

Remember Rob Schneider: "You can do it!"

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by strugglingnewbie, Apr 29, 2009
thanks bvd, i needed the little extra boost of encouragement.  the whole anti-dep part is new for me because i've never been on anything like that before....here's a little chuckle for you - one of the main reasons i've avoided them is because i've wanted to avoid having to go through the anti-dep withdrawls...if i had only known before taking tramadol that it had an anti-depressant in it i would have avoided it like the plague...

and i love rob schneider - especially in 50 first dates - laughing out loud just thinking about it...

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by Shadetree, Apr 29, 2009
Hey guys....

Day 8 for me...I felt great today. I think the working out/protien shakes/vitamins are really helping tremendously. I dont feel "normal" yet but pretty close. And yes the anxiety has hit me at around 5pm each day...I checked my prescription for nutritional healing book about it and it says:
VERY IMPORTANT ~ Calcium 2,000 mgs daily = A natural tranquilizer
                                 Magnesium 600 - 1,000 mg daily = Helps relieve anxiety, tension, nervousness, muscular spasms, &
                                                                                     tics. Best taken as a combo...
                                 Vitamins B1 & B12 - as directed on label = Helps reduce stress & anxiety
                                 Multivitamin - as directed = To provide all the needed nutrients in balance.
                                 Potassium - 99mgs daily = Essential for proper functioning of the adrenal glands.
There is alot more, but these are the most important....Hope it helps :)

I still feel the dizzy feeling behind my eyes when I move them to fast. I am also getting chills & sneezing, but they are becoming few and far between. I feel better with each day that passes, I am looking forward to life again...Good ol everyday (drug free) life. I am so glad, because I was worried about that. I am also only craving good healthy foods....No more sweets! (I am having a hard time believin it myself...lol) Fresh fruits & veggies...protien. Greasy fatening foods sound so gross to me. I like this though....I hope it lasts.)

Well gotta go...ttys

~Shade

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by Bigman7778, Apr 29, 2009
Realized after reading my last post that that I did not explain why pain free today after having several moderate pain days that seemed to be getting worse everyday.Got six of beer and drank.Afterwords drank 70 oz of water and flushed system out good. Re-read Johns Hopkins Booklet on Prostate cancer and prostitius sp.Must say that my symptoms match the prostititus fairly closely.Interestinly enough, abstinence not considered a good idea when you have this type condition.In fact it is an aggravating factor to make the whole thing worse .One of those counter intuitive(for me anyway) things that occur in life. When in that type pain not really feeling  that way,if you know what I mean. But Iindulged myself anywayNot sure which of these things made the pain go away (please stay that way) but sure am glad that I am pain free at the moment.I can"t worry about the past or future must concentrate on the now. Sorry if I am over sharing but never had much of an internal censor and  since I came off the Tramadol I seem to have even less of one. I find myself extremly open to virtually eveyone that I speak to.When I started on this journey off Tramadol I read a post from some one who had been off Tramadol for what seemed like a long time (months and months)and they said that they felt like a slightly different person than they were before they had gone on the Tramadol the first time.I think that might be true for me as well.Shade- thanks for sharing vitamin info.Have been having cramps in calfs every night for about a week and have to stand up out of bed to get rid of them.Makes getting a good nights sleep difficult,especially when it occurs several times a night. Been eating Bannas for the potassium but am going to get some magnesium as well.Best to all. Big

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by JHuxlet, Apr 30, 2009
Hi

You all seem to be a helpful bunch. I have been tapering tram down from a 500mg a day habit to about 100mg and a doing well. If all goes well in three months time I should be clean. I have seen an excellent therapist who has helped me alot. Also I have done alot of reasearch regarding Tramadol addiction and withdrawal.

One thing that has concerned me that I have read in these pages is that Tramadol is mixed with an antidepressent.

Where did this information come form? I have looked but don't seem to able to find anything regarding this.
Could people please list web pages or book titles please?

Thanks

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by JHuxlet, Apr 30, 2009
Hi again

SHADETREE Please can I have the tiltle and author of the book you mentioned in your last post? it sounds good...

Thaks
Jay

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by ultraumatized, Apr 30, 2009
hi everyone...day 10 here & it really seems that things are leveling out & getting so much better.  yesterday was a surprisingly good day, i managed to make it to all my classes & get some work done.  also got to chill out & watch tv in the evening without feeling like i was going to jump out of my skin.  i realized yesterday that coffee was kicking my butt also...i only drink one cup in the morning & do caffeine free drinks for the rest of the day, but now that i'm off of pain meds i'm starting to understand that even that little bit is making me a nervous wreck!  looks like i'll be dropping down to 1/2 caf. the next time i go grocery shopping.  

i'll be leaving tomorrow for a weekend trip to visit my family.  this will be the first time i've gone to stay with them without being on meds in a very long time.  i always felt like i really needed something to get me thru those visits, but i feel like it will be okay this time...i'm hoping so!  

best of luck to everyone for the upcoming weekend.  i hope you all enjoy it & have time to relax & recuperate!

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by Shadetree, Apr 30, 2009
Hello Jay, & welcome... :)

The book I tallk about is called "Prescription for Nutritional Healing"  By Phyllis A. Balch

The front of the book says:

" A Practical A to Z Reference to Drug-Free Remedies using vitamins, minerals, herbs & food supplements."
They are usually found at health and nutrition stores...I just looked on Amazon.com and they have it for under $20...

I have had one of these books for as long as I can remember...my Mom ALWAYS had one while I was growing up. And as soon as I moved out on my own she bought me my own. I use it all the time for every ailment you can imagine (almost, its a pretty big book). I have gotten all of my friends one at one time or another, and they have then to their friends.... It really is a great book. I have ordered another one by her its called "Prescription for Dietary Wellness" Hope its just as good.

~Shade



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by grandmagirl, Apr 30, 2009
Shade ...thanks for info on books...I have found that at almost 40 days out most depression has lifted. Still have some sneezing attacks and leg cramps. I've been taking prenatal vitamins, omega 3's and calcium. Will add in others. Panic attacks are finally gone. No more hot cold stuff going on either. Going to see doctor in June. He's not going to like what I have to say to him for putting me on this crap. But I could care less at this point. It's a doctor that I will NEVER return to and he will NEVER be able to bill my good insurance company again for my visits. As far as I'm concerned the Tram was much worse than the tooth and nerve pain I had. I am controlling pain with aspirin....one a day. Who would have known. I would have thought that after several years of medical school my so called doctor could have asked.."Have you tired aspirin?" Our grandparents survived on it before Tram. Hugs to all...

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by 2Sue, Apr 30, 2009
Hi
i used lavendar oil for anxiety, can be got from health shops,doesnt work for everyone....put couple of drops on a tissue or your collar. its good on your pillow at nite to help with sleep. i never had much of the sleepless nights...
you can burn it around the house too..

j... tramadol affects the seratonin in your body and thats what antidepressants do too. you can increase this in your body with foods....a good balanced ,low sugar,,protein diet and vitamins...

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by BVD660, Apr 30, 2009
I'm glad to see so many of you doing so much better, it makes me happy.

Today is day 17 and I've had a setback with symptoms.  I've had the chills all day and have had a couple of anxiety attacks that caused the "sick" sweats and chills running up and down my body.  IT SUCKS!!!  The previous two days have been very good for me without hardly any symptoms. Any of you 30 to 40 dayers (I'm sure that's not a word) experience this?

Emily did say that her symptoms would come and go and were so random for about 30 days or so.  At 17 days you'd think that the price would have been paid already.

Jay - Sue is right.  The tramadol changes the serotonin levels in the brain which is exactly what many antidepressants do.

~Boe

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by grandmagirl, Apr 30, 2009

        Your right on track at 17 days. I'm almost 40 days out and all that stuff is almost gone. You will have a few little set backs .....but all in all should feel better each day. Do the vitamin thing....lots of water...Coffee brought back the feeling I had at first.  so I went off including decafe.  Yes the symptoms will come and go...then finally will be GONE forever...I felt like a big spider monkey the first few weeks. pretty ugly...

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by BVD660, Apr 30, 2009
Thanks for the reassurance grandma, sometimes ya just need to hear it again.  I started the vitamin thing about 4-5 months ago and gave up coffee and soda about a year ago.  

I drink 64 ounces (4 - 16 oz bottles) of water a day religously.  It was hard to drink water when I first started (I preferred Mountain Dew) but now I have to have it.  I always have a water bottle with me.  The funny thing is, drinking all that water and giving up coffee and soda hasn't really made me feel any better.  Maybe it's been the trams keeping me from feeling better, who knows...

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by grandmagirl, Apr 30, 2009
yeah it's the Tram that making you feel so rotten some of the days...Your doing everything right and it WILL GET BETTER. I felt exactley the same way you feel today a couple of times. I counldn't figure it out until I started reading everyone's posts. Then I knew..."I'm not going insane"...it's just withdrawing that sucks...Drinking all the water is sooooo good for your system. Your doing everything you can and you will get that big ticket item ..."sanity"   soon...

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by grandmagirl, Apr 30, 2009
The only other thing I've noticed is that I still have Tram brain when I write..Notice last post...That instead of that's...

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by Miss_Amy_2009, Apr 30, 2009
BVD660:


I am SOOOOOOOOOOO glad to know that at least ONE other person has tapered down to 12.5 doses of tramadol like me...I've searched and searched these forums..and you're the FIRST person that I found with a similar experience with tapering...

I"m actually on the 5th day of the 12.5mg dose of the tapering...and I'm wondering if I'll be able to just let them go soon..

for the past 4 days, I took 12.5/5X day...Today I did'n't wake up to my first dose at 3am..so hopefully, I've reduced down to 4X now...which is basically equals ONE 50mg pill chopped into 4 tiny pieces....

Can you tell me if you spread them out further apart during the day and drop off one dose at a time..or if you just woke up one day after taking your last 12.5mg the day before.....and decided to be tramadol free... ???

What did you experience THAT day?
Did and bad feelings last for days after?
When did you have a FULL day of feeling normal again?


If anyone has any helpful feedback, feel free to chime in...I've posted my own experiences with my tapering...I can repost here if you'd like....let me know.








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by EmilyPost, Apr 30, 2009
Miss Amy; please do feel free to repost your tapering experience. :D  And welcome!

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by BVD660, Apr 30, 2009
Hi Amy and welcome our forum,

I tried tapering off tramadol for years and was never successful because the withdrawal was always unbearable for me even when tapering.  So about 6 months ago I decided to just do very small decreases and taper down from 300mg per day down to nothing over the six month period.  It's also important to note that I was on tramadol for 8 - 9 years.

At the beginning of my taper I was taking 100mg 3 times and it wasn't too hard to just cut out one pill from the dose because the decrease was a small percentage.  So I started to take 100mg in the morning, 50mg in the afternoon, and 100mg in the evening.  Over several months I actually got down to 150 mg (1 - 50mg pill 3 times a day) without much withdrawal.  It was when I went from 3 pills a day down to 2 pills where I really noticed the withdrawal.

That's when I decided I couldn't just drop another pill at a time and had to start cutting pills and making smaller percentage decreases.  I forced myself through the cut down to 2 pills a day but started chopping pills after that.  I would take one pill in the morning and 3/4ths of a pill in the evening and I stayed there for a week.

The next week I would take 3/4th of a pill in the morning and 3/4ths at night and stay there for a week.  I kept cutting 12.5 mg each week until I was taking 12.5mg in the morning and in the evening, then the final cut down to just 12.5mg in the morning for week.

That's when I just quit altogether.  The funny thing is that I've been experiencing minor withdrawal symptoms the last few months because I would withdraw after each taper, start to feel better, and then taper again.  When I finally quit altogether I experienced some pretty severe w/d but not nearly as severe as those who quit cold turkey.

My symptoms after quitting:  constant chills and goose bumps; having anxiety attacks like I've never experienced before where I would break out into a cold sweat and feel like I was burning up and freezing to death at the same time; sneezing; feeling lethargic with a 'brain fog'; some minor depression.

I did not experience the restless, painful leg syndrome or severe sleeplessness like those who quit c/t.  I credit that to the tapering method.

To answer your specific questions:  the first 4-5 days are the worst of the symptoms and they seem to be for everybody.  WHEN you get through those days, then don't look back because it gets better and better each day after. As to feeling "normal" again, I would say I'm about 75% of my normal self.  It's been 17 days and I still get some anxiety and "sick sweats" and chills but nothing like the first week.  I see improvement in each day.

From the others, I've learned that it can take some time to get back to your normal self.  It's different for everbody, but it seems to be about 30 - 45 days for most.

It sounds like your on the right track with your taper.  I would try to just keep cutting back 12.5mg a week and spread the doses further apart in the day.  I think it's important to stay at a tapered dose for at least a week or you will probably feel more w/d symptoms.  

I've heard that there is also soluable tramadol that you can get if you need to make your tapers smaller than 12.5mg.  There have been some people who have been successful with that.

Good luck Amy and hang in there.  There is life after tramadol and it is much, much better.  Keep me posted of your progress.

~Boe

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by JHuxlet, Apr 30, 2009
HI...

MissAmy and others

I am new to this but am happy to share my tapering experience.

I was initally taking 500mg a day but not in a regualr way, I would have three or four (50mg) on waking 200mg max, 50-100mg at lunch, 50- 100mg at dinner and the rest in the evening, some times I would have extra during the night to stay asleep. The 1st thing I did was stabailise the dose, regardless of the pain I am in,  into 4 'hits', 150mg, 100mg lunch 100mg dinner and a 150mg before sleep.

When I had done this for six weeks I knocked the dose down by 100mg, keeping the doses even and at a similar time.
I stabilised for six weeks then knocked 50mg/2 off the dose. SO this was: Am 100mg, lunch 75 mg, evening 75mg, bed 100mg.
I got one capsule and split the powder into two. I got some pill capsules/casings over the internet and put half into the original case, and half into a new one thus, approximetly splitting the dose.

next I removed another 50mg/2 going even doses of 75mg four times a day...
(possibly you can see where this is going!)
For six weeks

Next the pill could be split into four and spread evenly across the doses: making 62.5,mg twice a day.. However this maybe too big a drop...So maybe 2x75mg and 2x62.5mg...

so this should carry on...It sounds like it's best to leave four to six weeks between most cuts. From the reading I have done on opiate/narcotic withdrawal it seems it has to be done very, very slowly in order to be succsesfull and lasting.

Obviously this depends on how much pain you are in. If you are suffering it would be silly to be! But if you have too make sure you take regular equal doses (400mg max/day) and always try and think less is more!!

At times a 50mg tram and a Parcetamol can be enough..Think before you act!!!

Although tramadol is not classed as a narcotic, the more I read and the more I reflect on other peoples and my own experiences the more it seems like it should be regarded as one...

Sleep be good, For sleep be needs be!



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by JHuxlet, Apr 30, 2009
Hi

As I wrote my last post BVD660 post came up...i have heard that w/d  can happen unless dose reductions are tapered carefully . From what I can gather as the doses get smaller the reductions need to get smaller respectively..If you just say cut by half or a quater each time this can be way too much and can lead to w/d symptoms, as the doses get less the body seems to get more sensitvie to the loss of the drug.

Most people seem to build a dose say up to 400mg+ a day over time 6months+ so coming off needs to be treated as such. It might take longer than this though..but most advice I have encountered indicates four-eight weeks between each dose reduction...the longer the better but this requires much, much will power, disipline and support....

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by Shadetree, May 01, 2009
Hey guys...

Today is day 10 tram free for me (taper & jump off) This has been such a long process for me, and I am so glad I did it. And thank you to all of you for the support, whether you knew you were supporting me or not. Every single person who posts, that is added strength for me.

I feel good today. Yesterday wasnt so good. Depression & anxiety loomed over me all day. But I got through. I feel so much better, stronger, even at 75 % of normal me is still wayyyy better than when I was on tramash*t. I hav had some stomach issues, Im sure are related to w/d. But other than that I am pretty much over the physical w/d's I think. Emotionaly getting stronger as well. My empathy metor is no longer broken... I get goosebumps when listening to a touching story or listening to a good song again.

My husband (Mr. Shadetree...hehe) came home from a dr's vistit yesterday, he went for knee pain. Guess what he brought with him...YES the dreaded tramash*t. He isnt really into taking anything, and he HAS taken them before and doesnt like em. But now I have a whole bottle of them in my med cabinet. I cant flush em they arent mine. If I do and he out of the blue goes and looks for em...then what. I told him I have heard horrible stuff about it and started tellin him what could happen. He isnt worried about it by any means as he doesnt even plan on taking them unless "he absolutly has to" and even then it will be like him forcing him self to. He doesnt like pain meds at all... He hates the way they make him feel. So I have no worries that he will get hooked on them. I worry that in the future, I will know they are there. As of right now I could care less, I mean it didnt even cross my mind to take them. I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to take them. I actually got disqusted by the thought of them being in my house. But my fear is when I become mentally stronger and do start wanting "something" again they will just be right there.

So I thought about it all night, how can I get rid of these? I just need to wait it out. After some time they will be there and I will just Clean out the medicine cabinet. He wont think anything about it then, I just hope he doesnt say "dont toss those". Or I will in a couple days tell him I researched it and it really is a horrible drug to use and I dont think its safe to take it. He will just think I am being over protective tho, like always. I mean I throw a fit when he wants to take more than 2 tylenol...Go figure I am a crazy about my family taking drugs, but I do what I want to my body...Not anymore.

Well that is all I got...ttys

Emily ~ How are you doing/feeling?

~Shade

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by Bigman7778, May 01, 2009
shade- I really feel for ya.I know that I definetly would not want that evil drug  at my house.When I got home with Loratabs from the pharmacy I sequestered them in a different part of the house than where I keep all my daily meds.Ididn't want to see Loratabs twice daily every day.Maybe  you could do that.Put the Tram in some out of the way place that you don"t necessarily see very often.Sorry I don't have a better solution ,best I've been able to come up with for myself.It does seem to help not having them underfoot all the time though.presently having no pain and feeling normal.  Best to all . Big

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by BVD660, May 01, 2009
Hey everyone....

18 days (taper and jump).  Been having the chills all day and feeling pretty down.
Had to leave work early today, I just couldn't handle being there.  About all
I can say today is that I'm alive and tramash*t (great word Shade) free.  I guess this is
expected after 9 years of tramash*t use.

I hope all of you are having a better day.

Boe

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by 2Sue, May 02, 2009
Hi im six weeks tomorow and am excited to post this morning..im finally tweaked.
i got TENS machine two nights ago and it is giving me long periods of being painfree...i have had pain 24/7 for eight months.
it has made me see much clearer...how i am now is me mentally...i had low moods, pmt, rattiness before my op and this is me now//// however i went on my bike yesterday and realised my body is very physically weak...had to get off and push twice...mind i did have my 3 year old in a trailer .
the depressive suicidal mindset i had only 4 or 5 days ago has definitely gone.....
cant believe that in only six weeks i have experienced every mental and physical state ,almost changing by the day....
the trams are in the cupboard still.i looked at them yesterday and scowled at them...never again...im posting and telling everyone i meet not to take them...im a nurse so meet lots in pain....
hope this helps  you all. im down that mountain and ready to climb a much happier one to increase my excercise levels.(have done very little in 8 months..). i have the great north run, newcastle in september and that is my goal.
my partner asked if im having an affair this morning,,,ive put a little summer dress on and a have a smile on my face..(actually laughed yesterday) god that makes me sound sad...i take it as a big compliment from him.
Sue
p.s. ill be putting a cardigan on shortly and i have my thick tights on, cause i am in england after all....

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by 2Sue, May 02, 2009
pps. i want to thank everyone here, because i would never have believed all these horrible side effects were related to one tiny little tablet and would have been carted off to the funny farm long ago., if it wasnt for this site....mind theres still time...

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by Miss_Amy_2009, May 02, 2009
Hi ALL!

Sorry it took me so long to come back....I've been posting on another thread...but I think this one would better suit me....
mostly due to Sandie1977's Tramadol situation...very similar to mine.

Speaking of that.....What happened to her? I would like to talk to her.....so I hope she comes back.

I've been posting on another thread or two..posting my Tramadol weaning process..correction: progress!

I don't have time to repost all of my other posts from the other threads right now..but will...unless you find it easier to find/read them yourself....

I just wanted to stop by here to tell SANDIE: HANG IN THERE AND DON"T GIVE UP! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

MORE LATER on DAY 10

I'll be back....

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by Miss_Amy_2009, May 02, 2009
JHUXLET :::

Thanks for responding..

I'll be back later..to respond back..

-A

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by EmilyPost, May 02, 2009
http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/85572

Hi everyone, let's move to Part 8

This thread is closed :D


http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/85572

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by Printer989, Aug 13, 2009
Good afternoon everybody,        

I was on Ultram for about 3 years, And i have been clean for about 6 months now. During the 3 years i was on Ultram i developed heart burn, bloody stools, dark circles around my eyes or raccoon eyes, dry mouth etc. My problem is i didn't experience any withdrawals when i stoped taking Ultram but, the things i developed that i mentioned i still have those ailments. The heart burn, bloody stools, continue even at the present time of being off this medicine for 6 months, The raccoon eyes are gone though. "My point is"  taking Ultram i believe has given me permanent ailments that i didn't have before i started taking this medicine, The entire reason for me quitting this medicine was so that these symptoms would clear up but they haven't yet. I am in the process now of searching the internet trying to figure out if Ultram can give you permanent damage even after you stop taking it. What i'm experiencing could in fact be withdrawal symptoms and 6 months is still not long enough for my body to be back to normal.

I do know that taking any pain killer can give you liver damage!  

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by sandibob, Jul 06, 2010
Hello all... new to the board.

I have been without Tramadol for over a month...completely free from everything for 10 days. My major symptom now is sneezing, sneezing, sneezing...I am beginning to wonder if I have a cold.  

In response to Ultramatized - I did the same thing you did...I used Lortab (Vicodin) to get off the Tramadol...seriously I had virtually no problems getting off the Tramadol. Unlike you though, I did have a problem with the Vicodin at one time. I got on the Tramadol (advised by my doctor) to get off the Vicodin. I was told Tramadol was a non-narcotic and safe pain reliever.  So, after six years of being on the Vicodin, I bit the bullet went through the WD and used Tramadol to curb the aweful WDs.  I then used Tramadol for about two years. I took them as prescribed.

For a long while I felt good that I was on a non-narcotic pain reliever.  Until I gave a few to a friend of mine who said she took them and couldn't believe how she was unable to complete a thought in her head. She said she would forget what she was going to say (more than the normal). She also said that she would have a conversation with someone and not until talking with that same person again ... she realized that she didn't fully understand the meaning...like her brain was not linking certain things together to form the correct conclusion. Then she said I was so irritated all the time!!! "I'll never take that stuff again." she said.  I thought, "Is that happening to me, and I don't even know it?"

So, right then and there I decided to quit.  I googled and read all the horror stories of getting off Tramadol.  I thought dammit another rough road ahead.  By the way, I can't ween...it is cold turkey or nothing.  So, as I quit cold turkey and started feeling really bad I got  vicodin (10mg/650 - green ones).  Whenever I felt bad, I bit one in half and took it.  I did this for a couple of weeks. Aside from feeling tired and melancholy I was ok. I took Unisom at night to sleep.

I believe it has been about a month and half clean from Tramadol.
My symptoms -
Sneezing
Tired

Much more to say...but I have said enough for now.  I wish all of you the best!  I do believe my way (more details) of getting off the Tramadol was the easiest less painful, and less traumatic way.

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by joejr2u, Jul 06, 2012
I have been off Tramidol for 8-9 days and thought I wad good until the night sweats started again. I pdray to God that this w/d ends soon. I just want my Life back. I took only 50/100 mills a day for about 6/7 months and just didnt know how addictive these Devil Pills were. My Wife is an RN and she cried after reading the Horror stories about the Addictive Nature of this Pill. I pray we all pull thru and all get our Lives back. God Bless you all.

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