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I quit!!!
Nov 12, 2007 03:25PM
- 2 comments
I'm done!!! I quit!!! I don't want to fight anymore. I'm sick of fighting and clawing for every little thing!! I'm trying to simplify my life, but it seems like everything I give up, I have to give up some more. I've come up with this little symptom that is driving me crazy and scaring me to death at the same time. When I stand up my pulse goes way up and I start to sweat and sometimes my chest right where my heart is starts to hurt. I've done some research, after my doc didn't seem to care, and if it's POTS, then I guess I'll live, but I'm still trying to find out if this can be cured or if I need to learn to live my life as a cripple.
All this time going to school, and I don't know if I'm going to be able to stand up long enough to do the job. I'm sooo tired of my doc not caring. He thinks all my symptoms are anxiety, but I think that if you start sweating and your heart starts hurting you're going to experience some anxiety. Go figure!!!
I just want to know where to go from here. It's not easy going to school. If I'm not going to be able to do this, I want to get on with something I will be able to do. Some kind of desk job, I guess. I don't know, and that's the problem!! I go and try to get info on the disease, but even that feels useless because I don't know for sure that's what I have. I have felt better after drinking Gatorade, but it's so embarassing trying to draw blood while you're shaking and sweating like a pig!! They think I'm scared of the sight of blood. I don't know which I would rather they think. I finally decided just to keep my mouth shut and let them think what they want. I don't know what to think!!
It just makes me want to cry thinking of all that money going to waste.
One more day down, maybe tomorrow will be better.
Love...
All this time going to school, and I don't know if I'm going to be able to stand up long enough to do the job. I'm sooo tired of my doc not caring. He thinks all my symptoms are anxiety, but I think that if you start sweating and your heart starts hurting you're going to experience some anxiety. Go figure!!!
I just want to know where to go from here. It's not easy going to school. If I'm not going to be able to do this, I want to get on with something I will be able to do. Some kind of desk job, I guess. I don't know, and that's the problem!! I go and try to get info on the disease, but even that feels useless because I don't know for sure that's what I have. I have felt better after drinking Gatorade, but it's so embarassing trying to draw blood while you're shaking and sweating like a pig!! They think I'm scared of the sight of blood. I don't know which I would rather they think. I finally decided just to keep my mouth shut and let them think what they want. I don't know what to think!!
It just makes me want to cry thinking of all that money going to waste.
One more day down, maybe tomorrow will be better.
Love...
Hello...I am sorry you are going through so much. You have alot on your plate, school, these health issues that your doc seems to be brushing off (let me guess, he is probably saying that your school, work and the fact that you are female is causing this?). Did your doc run other tests on you? I hope that he did in good consciousness...at least do that for you. I see that your profile says that you are hypothyroid and hypoglycemic...Years ago I was classified as hypoglycemic (I was in my mid 20's..I am now 35) and it made me nuts when my sugars were low. I would shake and have terrible sweats...I wonder if part of this was that. Have you checked your sugars when this happens to you? I also understand hypothyroidsism..I have Hashimoto's. Before my thyroid completely fried out, my thyroid was actually hyper. I had hot flashes, was anxious and had serious palpitations. It was horrible...I think that my resting heartrate was over a 100 for quite some time, all the while I too had a doc chalk it all up to being under stress, female, going to school and having young kids. I wonder if I was a man how I would have been treated..if they would have picked this up sooner. I really do hope that they figure out what is going on with you, I know how frustrated you are. Sunny.
hey sweetie. I'm sorry you feel so bad. I wish we lived closer together so we could hang out and help each other.
I feel the same way everyday, i think calling it anxiety is just another way of them telllnig us that there nor sure what the hell is gonig on.
love
I feel the same way everyday, i think calling it anxiety is just another way of them telllnig us that there nor sure what the hell is gonig on.
love
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