"Awakening" Recovery From Tardive Psychosis, Tardive Dysphrenia and Tardive Dysmentia Continues

  I "woke up" today. But not in the sense that I got out of bed. I am speaking of the it in the sense of the book "Awakenings" (a clinical study by the reknowned neurologist Dr. Oliver Sacks). Now why do I say that? Because with the Zofran gone the tardive psychosis, tardive dysphrenia and tardive dysmentia had returned. The person who visited to evaluate me for a home attendant could see I could hardly physically communciate. And they were informed (and please note this is from physical pain and they would not be carried out, I would not be posting here if I did have them, I'd speak to my psychiatrist) that I had suicidal ideations. They could see I was mentally rational as I explained but the tardive tourreticism and psychomoter agitation did unnerve them. That's partially why I am homebound. I do not want other people to see it either. And it unnerved me as well. To say the least.
  But in speaking to the movement disorders specialist I see I asked about other treatments. As of now there aren't any identified medications I haven't tried. But I did remember (and this came from his research not mine and also is being used in standard clinical studies) my psychopharmocologist had let me try Piracetam in the past. As usual in reading this understand any study medication is an unknown quantity. And one not to be tried on your own. And much of what you see on the web is blatant misinformation. Now with that aside I asked permission and kept the dosage lower than before (1 pill). Well interestingly enough the dissociation lifted. The communication disorder and loss of cognition began to improve. Why gingko, rhodiola and Piracetam? Because they adjust dopamine levels. But of course anything that boosts dopamine is not going to be good for schizoaffective. That's why I must report back to them and use care. But just as when I had to the glycine titrated (under my psychopharmocologist's close supervision) I looked back and said "this is what its like not to experience psychosis" now I can say that with the Parkinsonism lifting I can (as I did with the Zofran) say that I stepped out of a world of unreality that was psychotic, depressive and filled with obessions of death. But one entirely differently from schizoaffective. But in the meantime I had (note this was not in the journal entries as its confidential) detailed it in methodical case study fashion as I was instructed to do with the glycine. I can't remember it now and I hope not to experience again. But as they look over my briefings (which will be incorporated into a published case study which can only be considered a tentative finding since its just one person) I can say I accomplished something positive out of this and the benefits will be for others not myself but the point is not to look back at an accomplishment or self focus but to keep looking ahead. And that's the way research aways progresses. In this case as I always say so you can have the mental recovery I did without the neurological disabilities. And for those who may have the neurological disabilities I do to be treated. I thank those who have worked with me and I know their efforts may very well enable this. On a large scale.