All Journal Entries Journals

A Hot Mess

Aug 08, 2013 - 0 comments
Tags:

Pain

,

hot

,

mess

,

Allergies

,

Heart

,

Weight

,

Bleeding

,

sleep

,

Liver

,

family

,

Chest

,

biopsy



I am in the ICU. I had a bleed in several places in my GI tract. I was vomiting a lot of blood, and it was coming out of the other end, too. I was in so much pain I couldn't stand up. I had an emergency surgery to stop the bleeding, and then I slept and did not wake up for several days. I have drains, they took one out, and that spot has pus coming out of it because it has become infected. I am on a ventilator. I have been placed on a different kind of ventilator now than I was originally on. The first one, I had little control over when the air was coming in, and it was down my throat. I wasn't breathing above the ventilator too much and that's why they had to use that one, but now that my respiratory rate is getting higher and closer to normal, I am on a positive pressure ventilator that doesn't go down my throat and that triggers for air to come in when I try to take a breath. It's weird getting used to, and somewhat painful in my chest, actually, but it's better than the other kind. They think this will be better for helping me to get rid of all the fluid building up in my lungs. I still have one drain in, they took one of the drains out. The opening where it was coming out is infected, and it has pus coming out of it now. I still have all the lines in my central line in my chest, but they inserted a peripheral line for more medications and fluids. My blood sugar keeps being low, and my heart rate is low, too. My blood pressure is very low. My temperature is pretty high. My liver enzymes are way elevated, my serum creatinine is high. My anion gap is low, I just want all of this to be fixed so that I can start the trial soon and hopefully go back to school. School starts Monday for me, you know. This is kinda breaking my heart that I feel like my dream is slipping away from me. I had a lot of family visit, but I'm not feeling up to visitors. Everyone was freaking out when I would go to sleep because they thought I would sleep for days again or not wake up. They were crowding me and touching me and asking me questions. I kind of just wanted them all to go away. I know that sounds mean and selfish because they traveled hours to come see me, but I just wanted to be by myself. I just wanted quiet. They left today.

There's some problem with my mom's bone marrow apparently, and it's causing her to be very anemic. She had to go get IV iron today, and the doctors want to do a bone marrow biopsy because she also had spherocytes and large platelets. They don't really know what this means for her, but hopefully the anemia is the worst of her problems.

My brother's allergies are acting up, my cousin's eyeballs got all swollen...like the literal whites of her eyeballs it looked gross, and I feel like my whole family is falling apart. We're a mess, seriously. Luckily, my dad is continuing to improve, and can taste everything, and is gaining back the weight that he'd lost.

Post a Comment