Aug 10, 2013
I was sitting in my hospital room having a pity party, resigned to my fate, and then I realized that I could either sit there and let myself die or I could DO something about it. I had thought that there was nothing that I could do, but I got an idea.
I had the doctor take out my last drain, unhook me from everything, and I checked myself out. This was Against Medical Advisement, but so is moping, so I figured I had nothing to lose. Hear me out. I called my brother to come get me and bring me to the house. I got my stuff, got in my car, and left for Atlanta. On my way to the clinical trial...AKA: A Chance At Getting Better. Maybe this wasn't the wisest thing to do, and my parents still don't know I've left. I know I'm going to get an earful, but I wanted to be the full 800 some odd miles away, safely at my apartment before I let them yell at me. Then I could at least tell them, "hey, I made it safely!" Plus, it's not like I'm going to some theme park or something. I'm going to the hospital tomorrow. Right where I'm supposed to be anyways. They'll get over it...I hope.
Another reason I left is that I have school on Monday, and I sure as hell plan to show up! I don't like to miss school. it's the one thing that gets my mind off of all of this nonsense. It keeps my mind busy. So this was me doing something impulsive, yeah, but for good reason. This is me not quitting. Not giving up on myself. I plan to take life into my own hands rather than sit around waiting for death. That's not living at all. Plus, what's the worst that could happen?