sammijo's Profile
Mood:
sammijo is
confused, but trying to wake up,,,(yawn)..
About Me:
Female, 41, SOMEWHERE IN TIME - AL, member since Jan 2008
I suffer from Bi Polar and Manic Depressive and Panic attacks and Anxiety attacks. I can't sleep half the time and the other time I can't wake up. I am 41 years of what, I am not sure yet. I have very bad back and shoulder pain and burning. I use to be a quite happy go...
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The man that loves me wrote this to my therapist.....
Apr 10, 2008 01:33AM
- 1 comments
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Hello, My name is "sam's love" and this is in regards to Sam and my concerns about her health and well being.
I have known Sam for over a year now and love her dearly and nothing will ever stop me from loving her.. Yes, there are days that I have doubts because of her actions.
To be honest I am afraid of her most of the time because of her mood swings.. Some days she had rather die than to live on this earth and other days she just sleeps to avoid the pain and feelings she has.
I have seen her cry saying "I can't live like this anymore"... I am so afraid that she will hurt herself because of all the mind games her brain plays on her.
Some days she is a bundle of joy and that is the Sam that I love, but then there are other days that I honestly try to avoid her because I might say the wrong thing.
I also am afraid when she comes into the kitchen that the dishes are not done or if they are, that they are out of place.. For an example, she got so pissed just because some of the spoons were in the fork area... I just had to walk out, hoping that her mood would pass like it most of the time does, but there are days that it lasts for hours or even days!.
It hurts me so bad to see a wonderful person like Sam go through this hell in her brain.
She has more down moods than up moods.
She can be fine one moment and the next moment I am having to leave the room.
This bi polar or whatever she has is killing her... I can't stand for her to get motivated about something and then sleep for days.
I really got hurt when we were planning on doing something on my 45th birthday and what happened??? She slept all day leaving me alone. I know the real Sam would not do that and I have to come to grips that it's her sickness and not her.
OK, when she is not a sleep she is in a hateful type mood or a real depressed mood....she does have her good days or should I say hours which I love and want more of and pray for.
Also Sam has a trust issue. It took months and months for her to leave her purse or even keys out and walk away, and even to this day if something is missing she feels that someone has come into her room and taken it and 99.9 % of the time she just misplaced it or it got covered up by something.
She also has what I call triggers.. certain things or words that will set her off. I try to avoid these triggers as much as I can to keep her calm or the good mood she is in.
I also have a 16 year old son who loves Sam to death, but I hate for him to see her sleep all the time. I have to explain to him that it's her sickness and has nothing to do with us and that she does love us.
From day to day I see Sam get worse and worse... She is giving up on life for no reason.
I keep telling her that she can't kill herself because she would burn in hell, and all I get from her is that "Well it's better than living in this hell"..
Most people would have shown Sam the door and say have a good life, but not me.. Well I love and am going to try and be her rock and who will not leave her alone in her hell that her brain is causing.. The good Lord has a reason for everything and I hope that one day Sam will get the help she is wanting and needs.
I wrote this letter because I love Sam very much and want her to get better. I know deep down inside there is that wonderful lady that she always talks about and how she was so caring and loving. The sad but funny thing is that she always tells me that I have gotten the worse end of her and the men who treated her like **** got the best of her.
I will stick by Sam no matter what.. that is how much I care and love her.
Thank you for your time.
sam's love
I have known Sam for over a year now and love her dearly and nothing will ever stop me from loving her.. Yes, there are days that I have doubts because of her actions.
To be honest I am afraid of her most of the time because of her mood swings.. Some days she had rather die than to live on this earth and other days she just sleeps to avoid the pain and feelings she has.
I have seen her cry saying "I can't live like this anymore"... I am so afraid that she will hurt herself because of all the mind games her brain plays on her.
Some days she is a bundle of joy and that is the Sam that I love, but then there are other days that I honestly try to avoid her because I might say the wrong thing.
I also am afraid when she comes into the kitchen that the dishes are not done or if they are, that they are out of place.. For an example, she got so pissed just because some of the spoons were in the fork area... I just had to walk out, hoping that her mood would pass like it most of the time does, but there are days that it lasts for hours or even days!.
It hurts me so bad to see a wonderful person like Sam go through this hell in her brain.
She has more down moods than up moods.
She can be fine one moment and the next moment I am having to leave the room.
This bi polar or whatever she has is killing her... I can't stand for her to get motivated about something and then sleep for days.
I really got hurt when we were planning on doing something on my 45th birthday and what happened??? She slept all day leaving me alone. I know the real Sam would not do that and I have to come to grips that it's her sickness and not her.
OK, when she is not a sleep she is in a hateful type mood or a real depressed mood....she does have her good days or should I say hours which I love and want more of and pray for.
Also Sam has a trust issue. It took months and months for her to leave her purse or even keys out and walk away, and even to this day if something is missing she feels that someone has come into her room and taken it and 99.9 % of the time she just misplaced it or it got covered up by something.
She also has what I call triggers.. certain things or words that will set her off. I try to avoid these triggers as much as I can to keep her calm or the good mood she is in.
I also have a 16 year old son who loves Sam to death, but I hate for him to see her sleep all the time. I have to explain to him that it's her sickness and has nothing to do with us and that she does love us.
From day to day I see Sam get worse and worse... She is giving up on life for no reason.
I keep telling her that she can't kill herself because she would burn in hell, and all I get from her is that "Well it's better than living in this hell"..
Most people would have shown Sam the door and say have a good life, but not me.. Well I love and am going to try and be her rock and who will not leave her alone in her hell that her brain is causing.. The good Lord has a reason for everything and I hope that one day Sam will get the help she is wanting and needs.
I wrote this letter because I love Sam very much and want her to get better. I know deep down inside there is that wonderful lady that she always talks about and how she was so caring and loving. The sad but funny thing is that she always tells me that I have gotten the worse end of her and the men who treated her like **** got the best of her.
I will stick by Sam no matter what.. that is how much I care and love her.
Thank you for your time.
sam's love
Wow thats what i call true love. and she needs to know all the love you have deep down inside you, also you need to take her to a family bar and meet regulars and and drink a little because a major sign of mood changes is depression and thats is why she is depressed because she needs more friends and needs you to not LEAVE her when she gets in her mood changes. She does not have bi polar its simply depression and small petty things can set someone off when they are depressed so please next time do not leave her simply ask her what can i do to help you, Try going out to eat,dance,goto a bar, play pool, go hiking, go watch a movie and eat family dinners at the table and talk, play miniture golf, etc theres many things that can keep a positive mood going. go to something active and do things that arnt depressive such as leaving the room when she has a mood swing. When she has a mood swing simply ask hey do you wanna do something tonight? But if all these things fail maybe you should have a family psychiatrist come to the house and evaluate and take to you guys and give way better advice than i can. Well i hope some of these things might help and hope your wife will be ok and you too because the way her mood changes can also effect you such as give you depression which i kno it has. Tell me how long she has been acting like this like a year, month because maybe something happend in the past that is just bringing her down. well anyways take care and post more info
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