Sep 01, 2013
"Loneliness is my least favorite thing about life. The thing that I'm most worried about is just being alone without anybody to care for or someone who will care for me." -Anne Hathaway
I was left alone today and I felt anger and rage instead of fear.
A family friend came to stay with me while my family member went out for the day, and she told him to leave me in the house. I was sick all of yesterday evening into this morning because I took some of my old medicine to keep calm, and I just didn't have the tears in me. I felt so bad. She thinks by me being left alone, it is going to make get better, but it's backfiring and I'm slowly starting to feel less secure in my home.
I don't feel like it's fair because I didn't want to come back home in the first place, but she called my roommates and told them that this would be the best situation for me, and that I needed to come home. I've lost lots of friends because of my home situation (long story) and I don't feel like I have a secure support system. Her daughter (my cousin) is allowed to terrorize me in the home and on my phone when she leaves. I have 30 nasty, mean, disgusting voice messages on my voice mail from her, and everyone tells me to just delete them. I'm so sad today, but I just keep trying to remind myself that other people have it worse than me.
I am going to start writing again.