Apr 12, 2008 08:37AM
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Well up til wednesday this week wasn't going too bad, i had some pain in my tummy and headaches as normal but not a huge amount of panicking. Wednesday night, i lost the electric key for the meter, so my mum went balistic, even though it was an accident and i spent hours looking for it. So very little electric because she lets it run down to £1 on emergency before topping it up again :( So can't cook/watch tv/go on pc or anything.Had to borrow money off my ex which is not something i wanted to do as he doesn't have much either! Anyway, went to the shop to buy sandwich stuff and met up with friends at the pub. I haven't been able to do that very much recently so it was a bit of a break through.My partner and i were there with a few of my friends, but partner had work at 6:30am so had to leave. I stayed as i've walked home from this particular area many times, its only about 20 minutes. So about 11 i leave, about 2/3rds of the way home in an alleyway some huge guy steps up behind me and grabs me. I couldn't move, i felt like i couldn't breathe. Smacked me about a bit which was terrifying, scratches on my face and bruises everywhere which now hurt like mad. I screamed when he tried doing more and blacked out, coming to on my own. We don't think he did anything more because according to my partner i got in at 11:30 and collapsed in the hallway. I don't even remember getting home :( In my past things like this and worse have happened, and i thought i could stop a person from doing it, i fought back before and i thought i could this time. However with my illnesses i've become a lot weaker as i have problems going out and exercising. My anxiety is now through the roof, and to top it all off agonising pain wouldn't stop on thursday and i had to go to the walk in centre (one of my least favourite places). I have lots of antibiotics to take for a urine infection now :( Not seeing how this week can get much worse, i'm arguing with everyone and very flinchy and nervous around guys, even my partner :( Not sure how much more of this i can take.
Does anyone have any ideas on how i can get my physical fitness up or somehow stop this happening as i feel like theres a neon sign above my head advertising for guys to try stuff, that i can't see. I don't dress slutty i tend to bundle up in a big coat, i don't know what it is. Please help!