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Brother didn't do dope

May 05, 2009 - 9 comments
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brother

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clean



My brother is home from the menal institution. With a clean tox screen. He only attempted to kill himself, thats all.I would like to thank the 1 person who cared enough to respond to my post.
I have to ask myself ?????? What sick need do I have to continue to come on here and post, It must be historical or gest pure stubborness >>>
   Not feeling the LOVE.

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by gizzy32, May 05, 2009
I am so sorry to hear about this, I had no idea what was going on. I have not been on here very much lately, but if ya need to talk send me a pm. You need to keep posting here, you have a lot to offer and kicking all of our asses in clean time combined. Please stay strong freebird. Sending you a BIG hug.

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by corey411, May 05, 2009
I'm so sorry for your pain and that we weren't here for you freebird. I don't know you well but had I seen your post and need for support I would have been there to support you. I know how lonely it can feel when you post and don't get many responses. I don't mean to  make excuses....I hope that the lack of responses was just because it was slow. I hope that you aren't feeling that no one cares about you personally. I'm sure that is not it. I have seen you post and offer much support to members. I'm so sorry we missed the boat to help lift you when you needed it. I hope that you are still posting because deep down you know that many care. Please feel free to PM me anytime that you want to talk. Big prayers going up for you and your brother.....Sending Belated Love, Corey

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by outotown, May 05, 2009
Freebird, I just went back and read the post you posted that day, I dont remember reading it on the 19th if I was on and overlooked it im turely sorry. I do know that I have posted in the past and didnt think anyone would be there it's so dishearting. I know this might not be of much consolation right now but I do mention all thats on here everyday in my prayers and request at church that they remember those on here. Even tho I may have missed it I do know The Lord didnt and he was your friend that day and was with your brother, he is still with you so there is hope. I will say an extra prayer just for your family. Love Aaron aka outotown

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by lboogie7729, May 05, 2009
I'm sorry to hear what you and your family are going through. I haven't been very active on here lately, but I do always notice your posts because you have such an impressive amount of clean time. I think people on here do care but we are all dealing with our own little chaotic lives at times and forget to check in with each other. I am very sympathetic to your situation. I just got sober 6 months ago after my own attempted suicide and just last week my father (a raging alcoholic) went on an unbelievable rampage and my family is trying to pick up the pieces. Your input is needed here and greatly appreciated by more people than you may be aware of, we are just quite sometimes. My heart goes out to you and I hope you are doing alright all things considered.

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by freebird227, May 05, 2009
Thanks you guys and I actually got a couple of pm,  My feelings were hurt, sometimes I feel like I am being  treated as  an outsider because of my clean time, Like there is something wrong with my recovery because it did not originate here at med help. If I did not believe in what was  happening here I wouldn't stay around.
I have the most amount of clean time in Narcotics Anonymous in my area, The Capital Area.My area is 25 years strong, but most of the women I got clean with don't attend anymore.Or they are in AA ( more mature ) but I made a decision at three years clean not to abandon the NA fellowship, to stay and be there for the new commer.
I don't have a lot of drama in my life so when I do journal about something this important to me I guess I have expectations.
I have so much love and compassion for my baby brother ( 45 ) LOL.Crack cocain addiction for over15 years and mental illness. I know his disperation and isolation, he is one of those I fear will one day get it right and he'll be gone.
   I know God isn't done with him yet,and I know when he comes out of the pit of his own Hell it is because of God's love for him, and answered prayers.
I haven't been on a lot lately because Like I said I haven't felt the love.
It helps me and my recovery to give away what was so freely given to me, I care so much for the still suffering addict.

Thank-you all for your prayers and support, It really means so much.  Be Blessed......Debra

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by MJIthewriter, May 05, 2009
freebird227, I'm sorry I didn't respond when I read about it earlier.  I can relate to a degree about how you must feel to not hear back.  Sometimes I've felt that way too when posting about my stuff, namely when I am in a showing off mood after uploading artwork. I talked with my mom because I was struggling with a good dose of self pity...  She wanted me to write down that people do care but may be really busy and not have time to look at other people's postings.


Also another thought that came to mind:  I have a tendency to wait for people to come to me, because I feel like I am imposing in on people when I send notes or pm messages.  Perhaps if I am like that, there may be other people here too who wait to hear from others more often than reaching out and being the first one to send a message?

I'm glad to hear your borther is doing better.  You're free to send me a message any time. I try to reply to my messages.

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by mtgoat911, May 07, 2009
i had no idea this was going on, i hope he was in a private facility, not a state runned institution, is he doing better now
does he have someone he can live with? you know you can call me anytime, i will send you my husbands cell phone, then mine when we get out west
i love you

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by bkwrm679, Aug 16, 2009
I'm really sorry to read about this situation - I hope things get better. Please keep posting - I'm a newcomer in NA, saturating myself with meetings, listening to speaker tapes when I drive anywhere and when I work out, reading the text and sitting on this forum when I'm at home. Having someone with some serious clean-time posting is very inspirational to a newcomer like myself.

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by freebird227, Aug 16, 2009
Brother picks up 3 month clean chip. After comming home from Fla, Chris stayed clean for a few months, sometime about three months he overdosed on seroquil and klopin. After getting out of the hospital a True Miracle occured.
My brother got his game on and dove head first into AA meetings, he got a sponsor and got back to working the steps with a True sponsor, he has a home group and picks up guys from the healing place.
He attends about 4 meetings a week and attends social functions outside of regular meetings.
   I can honestly say he has recovery and really works on his defects of caracter,I can not be any more proud of him on one hand on the other a hugh weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He doesn't share much in meetings,but last sat night I was blessed with sitting in the same speaker meeting with him and he
actually read some of the lit. out loud. What a milestone that was.
  Thanks to all for your support and prayers.....................Debra

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