Sep 12, 2013
pain and aches. exhaustion. fear and dread of the future.
had a fall 40 hours ago. jarred body, bruise, was a bit nauseous. doesn't help. I'll be lucky if i feelreasonably better tomorrow. hoping.
people die. this depresses me. my friends are able to go out and i feel i am missing out.
really want to be well. faith runs out.
appetite its good.food is something i enjoy. dependent on my parents.
wanted to wash my hair yesterday. might have to wait till tomorrow.
life its a hassle. it used to be easy.
was thankful for a few things yesterday.
i don't know what my life is. i don't know why people aren't freaked out about incapacitation and teeth falling out in old age. although i am iincapacitated now.
people are enjoying life, with no concern about how miserable and pointless and lonely it is.
i know what it is like to want to live fever. i know what it is like to want to die today
i know what it is like to be the most content person in the world. i know what it is like to want to be anyone else but you.
people understand but can't say or do anything helpful. so alone.
******* useless life.