Walkin' the Tight Rope

Here we go again!  It's like a vicious carnival ride on some days.  Reminds me of that movie "The Mummy" when Brandon Frasiers character has already been fighting all these supernatural things and seen all kinds of unbelieveable sights and then the mummies come to life and start in on him and he says, "Oh, this just keeps gettin' better and better!"  I feel that way!  I finally come to the point where I have to admit that I got pebbles in the shoe that I can't get out...ya' know?  The diabetes thing is bad but then I went and added alcoholism on top of it (recovering at moment, thank god!) then during that chaotic time - doc says "You are Bi-Polar" so I do on meds and 4 months into my recovery - stop taking them!  (yes, I know - STUPID) then the fibromyalgia diagnosis.....now I am back around after 1.5 years of no meds and messed up mood swings and brittle readings and lots of physical pain to having to admit "defeat" and go back on the meds for the cyclothemia. (Baby Bi Polar) (I just love that!  I got such a kick out of that when the doc said it! LOL)  Whoosh!  I feel like I have run a marathon!  My eyesight is all wacked out for the last three days and talk about not being able to focus.....Anyway....I just hope the referral to the psychiatrist comes through soon!  Oh, to feel "normal"!  (whatever normal is!)  I know I felt that way once - long ago - about 15 or 16 years old, I think! That's the last time I remember ever feeling "normal".  What a roller coaster!  I do have hope though, and I believe that God has a reason for everything...I just wish he'd let me in on it!
Love to All