This back mess is ruining my life

I am absolutely fed up with this whole entire back ordeal. I have done nothing but wait and wait on someone (whoever that is) to tell me what my future is.  My whole life is going down hill fast. I am afraid that I am going to lose everything that I have worked so hard for. And my poor husband, he didn't ask for any of this. I feel so useless and ANGRY I could just punch something. This nightmare has got to end before I lose everything in my life. Please God, I don't know what to do. I have never felt more useless and more of a burden or more helpless in all of my life. I have gone thru some bad things, but this tops it all. I am pissed off!!!!!!!  I hate this and I am tired of being shuffled from one doctor to another. Each one with their own little tests.....while they are making money off of me I am losing everything.  I just want this to stop.  Why did I ever complain about my back. Why didn't I just suck it up and keep going like I always have.  I am so angry I can't stand it. It's not fair.....I want to know what I did in life to have these kinds of things happening to me???????? I hate it....i hate it........I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!