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May 12, 2009 - 24 comments
Okay, I'm going to break down here and have a pity party. I hate being one to complain, but I just need to get this off my chest so I can get over it sooner rather than later.
My boyfriend, Brandon, can officially be classified as a super-geek. He loves science, math, engineering and architecture. He does this stuff for fun. Call me lame, but that's actually one of the qualities I find most attractive about him. I normally don't have a clue about half the stuff he carries on about when he talks about his classes or his work projects, but something about a nerdy guy talking like that is admirable to me.
I've been dating him for a year and a half and have thought he was Mr. Perfect and flawless and wonderful and the best ever...until this weekend.
Apparently, he thought up this project a couple of weeks ago. He never told me, though. Normally he lets me know the kind of stuff he's doing that will require extensive amounts of his time and energy so that I have a head's up on when to expect to see significantly less of him than I already do (which is maybe twice a week for a few hours). I am and want to be supportive and encouraging for him to follow his dreams. He has A LOT going for him, and it's just as important for me to see him succeed as it is for him to achieve his goals.
Well anyway, he has been working on this project, this invention, for a couple of weeks and he never said a thing to me about it until the day before Mother's Day, which is when he called to cancel coming over and spending the day with me--ON MOTHER'S DAY--when we had planned that day together for the last week! He calls and is like, "I've been working on this project, and it's going to be a really big deal if it works! All I have to do is solve a few mathematical equations and get the last parts of it from UPS. So I won't be coming over today. I'm too focused on figuring this out and I don't want to lose my focus."
WHAT?! All I could think is, where the heck did this come from?! He's been working on what? Since when? And he's ditching me for Mother's Day?!
I won't lie, I've been mad at him ever since. Yes, I'll be the first to admit that this whole ordeal is actually a bit funny, and I have laughed a few times because it's so ridiculous that I'm ticked off at him for inventing a science project, but--*sigh*--I will be honest when I say I'm jealous of his science project.
Yep, laugh it up.
Don't get me wrong, I'm highly enthusiastic about what he's attempting to invent. And if he actually succeeds and it does work, I think he's right about the potential of it being a big deal.
But oh my gosh...these last few days it's like he's found a new love. This thing is all he talks about, all he thinks about, all he cares about. He dotes on it, and I'm not even joking.
When I went over to his family's place for Mother's Day and he showed it to me...oh my...he's like a little kid who's all excited about a fort he just built in the back yard or something. Lol. You should see the way he looks at this thing--and it's not even finished yet!
Good grief, I feel like I've been replaced. Only a few days ago, he was the wonderful man I knew who sent me sweet text messages and called me every day and asked how I was doing and wanted to be with me and Trev any chance he had.
Then literally overnight it seems, there's something new in his life that is the most important thing ever. I guess what irks me the most is that he never told me anything about it, so having to unwillingly sacrifice the attention I normally get from him is not coming so easily when all the times in the past, I've had no problem sacrificing a week or two of time with him due to his school, work, or family issues. But this time, I'm finding out that most people (work and family) knew he was working on this project--guess he forgot to tell me.
I called him last evening to ask if he'd gotten his UPS package, and how things were going with the project (see? I'm supportive). He's so dang excited about this thing that he rambled on and on and on about it, and I seriously had almost nowhere to get a word in edgewise. He might as well have been talking to himself. He didn't once ask how I was doing or how my day went (completely out of the norm for him). Then his sister called, so he had to hang up to talk to her, but said he'd call me back later.
Did he call back later? No!
He sent me a stupid text message at 9:30 saying he was going to bed--didn't even say goodnight or I love you.
I'm jealous of a stupid science project. I feel like this is the most inane rant in the world. But it was relieving to get it off my chest.
My boyfriend, Brandon, can officially be classified as a super-geek. He loves science, math, engineering and architecture. He does this stuff for fun. Call me lame, but that's actually one of the qualities I find most attractive about him. I normally don't have a clue about half the stuff he carries on about when he talks about his classes or his work projects, but something about a nerdy guy talking like that is admirable to me.
I've been dating him for a year and a half and have thought he was Mr. Perfect and flawless and wonderful and the best ever...until this weekend.
Apparently, he thought up this project a couple of weeks ago. He never told me, though. Normally he lets me know the kind of stuff he's doing that will require extensive amounts of his time and energy so that I have a head's up on when to expect to see significantly less of him than I already do (which is maybe twice a week for a few hours). I am and want to be supportive and encouraging for him to follow his dreams. He has A LOT going for him, and it's just as important for me to see him succeed as it is for him to achieve his goals.
Well anyway, he has been working on this project, this invention, for a couple of weeks and he never said a thing to me about it until the day before Mother's Day, which is when he called to cancel coming over and spending the day with me--ON MOTHER'S DAY--when we had planned that day together for the last week! He calls and is like, "I've been working on this project, and it's going to be a really big deal if it works! All I have to do is solve a few mathematical equations and get the last parts of it from UPS. So I won't be coming over today. I'm too focused on figuring this out and I don't want to lose my focus."
WHAT?! All I could think is, where the heck did this come from?! He's been working on what? Since when? And he's ditching me for Mother's Day?!
I won't lie, I've been mad at him ever since. Yes, I'll be the first to admit that this whole ordeal is actually a bit funny, and I have laughed a few times because it's so ridiculous that I'm ticked off at him for inventing a science project, but--*sigh*--I will be honest when I say I'm jealous of his science project.
Yep, laugh it up.
Don't get me wrong, I'm highly enthusiastic about what he's attempting to invent. And if he actually succeeds and it does work, I think he's right about the potential of it being a big deal.
But oh my gosh...these last few days it's like he's found a new love. This thing is all he talks about, all he thinks about, all he cares about. He dotes on it, and I'm not even joking.
When I went over to his family's place for Mother's Day and he showed it to me...oh my...he's like a little kid who's all excited about a fort he just built in the back yard or something. Lol. You should see the way he looks at this thing--and it's not even finished yet!
Good grief, I feel like I've been replaced. Only a few days ago, he was the wonderful man I knew who sent me sweet text messages and called me every day and asked how I was doing and wanted to be with me and Trev any chance he had.
Then literally overnight it seems, there's something new in his life that is the most important thing ever. I guess what irks me the most is that he never told me anything about it, so having to unwillingly sacrifice the attention I normally get from him is not coming so easily when all the times in the past, I've had no problem sacrificing a week or two of time with him due to his school, work, or family issues. But this time, I'm finding out that most people (work and family) knew he was working on this project--guess he forgot to tell me.
I called him last evening to ask if he'd gotten his UPS package, and how things were going with the project (see? I'm supportive). He's so dang excited about this thing that he rambled on and on and on about it, and I seriously had almost nowhere to get a word in edgewise. He might as well have been talking to himself. He didn't once ask how I was doing or how my day went (completely out of the norm for him). Then his sister called, so he had to hang up to talk to her, but said he'd call me back later.
Did he call back later? No!
He sent me a stupid text message at 9:30 saying he was going to bed--didn't even say goodnight or I love you.
I'm jealous of a stupid science project. I feel like this is the most inane rant in the world. But it was relieving to get it off my chest.
Better Out than in AJ, Better Out than in. I very wise friend of mine Mom used to say that and its soooo true!!!!
Much Love much Light....
jimi (little wing =0)
Much Love much Light....
jimi (little wing =0)
Thanks, Jimi. :-) That is true.
I have been so upset about this since Saturday afternoon. I want to tell him about what a clueless, neglectful nerd he's being right now, but I just can't seem to find the right words to say without sounding shallow and unsupportive. Not to mention that I don't think I'd be able to say much anyway because he hasn't given me much of a chance to say anything for all the talking he's doing about his invention. Sheesh.
I have been so upset about this since Saturday afternoon. I want to tell him about what a clueless, neglectful nerd he's being right now, but I just can't seem to find the right words to say without sounding shallow and unsupportive. Not to mention that I don't think I'd be able to say much anyway because he hasn't given me much of a chance to say anything for all the talking he's doing about his invention. Sheesh.
It matters to you,its not stupid in the least.Maybe you should consider finding a project of your own,a hobby or something.Maybe think of it as having more time to spend with your son.My fiance doesn't seem to what to spend time with me,since we had our son,who is a blessing he takes up almost every free moment I have.I try to get him to do family things.I also try to get him to spend time with just me.He hasn't even been kissing me much lately.And get this my son sleeps with me.Somethings wrong with this picture.I just thought this might make you feel better,my situation is much worse.This will pass,he'll either getting frustrated and not be able to finish it,or he'll finish it and you'll be the center of his attention again.Take Care,Jen
I thought Shrek said that? Better out than in I always say! Sorry, I am so tired I don't know what I'm saying!
I can understand how you feel. Guys can be kinda dense sometimes. I think you just have to be more clear with him on stuff, maybe?
As you know, a relationship is give and take. Let this be his time and you listen and support. Next time, hopefully, will be your time!
As you know, a relationship is give and take. Let this be his time and you listen and support. Next time, hopefully, will be your time!
Yeah, I definitely have been keeping in mind the "pick your battles" these last few days. The most important thing to me is to be supportive and encouraging for him, and not to project any anger on him or make him feel guilty, because I know how much he cares about me.
This is just a new thing for me to deal with; I've never been left out of the loop in his life before. He's always been considerate enough to let me know what's going on, what he's doing, if it means it'll take time away from our relationship for a little while. For me, this all came out of nowhere.
I've decided I won't say much about it to him, if anything at all--this really shouldn't be a big deal for me, and I don't want to blow it out of proportion. I tried to tell him last night that I wished I'd known about this when he'd started working on it, and that the news of it kinda came as a shock, but I don't think that really sunk in for him.
He is supportive of me and all the things I do in life; he really is a wonderful guy. He's always complimenting on how good of a mother I am with Trevor and he is really encouraging about my crazy hobbies like collecting birds and getting myself beat up in taekwondo, lol. He does a lot for Trev and me.
Like I said, that's why I'm jealous of his project. Just the fact that it came as such a shock and never prepared me to sacrifice my time with him, and his attention from me.
Eh, I'll get over it.
This is just the vent session to get it out because yeah, better out than in!
This is just a new thing for me to deal with; I've never been left out of the loop in his life before. He's always been considerate enough to let me know what's going on, what he's doing, if it means it'll take time away from our relationship for a little while. For me, this all came out of nowhere.
I've decided I won't say much about it to him, if anything at all--this really shouldn't be a big deal for me, and I don't want to blow it out of proportion. I tried to tell him last night that I wished I'd known about this when he'd started working on it, and that the news of it kinda came as a shock, but I don't think that really sunk in for him.
He is supportive of me and all the things I do in life; he really is a wonderful guy. He's always complimenting on how good of a mother I am with Trevor and he is really encouraging about my crazy hobbies like collecting birds and getting myself beat up in taekwondo, lol. He does a lot for Trev and me.
Like I said, that's why I'm jealous of his project. Just the fact that it came as such a shock and never prepared me to sacrifice my time with him, and his attention from me.
Eh, I'll get over it.
This is just the vent session to get it out because yeah, better out than in!
Hi, I don't know ya-but, I sure feel like I do through your journals that I've been keeping up with. =D I love your journals, by the way, it's easy to tell that you're a good, decent person!!! Anyway, after reading this journal, thought I'd throw my 2 cents in. I can see both sides of this issue here! Putting myself in your shoes, I'd feel neglected and hurt, too. As April mentioned, it was very dense of him to break your Mother's Day plan that he'd made with you 1 wk BEFORE. That would seriously bother me, as well. Don't blame ya one bit for hurting over that. On the other hand, to defend him, men can be very single-minded and many of them have trouble concentrating on more than one thing at the same time. Many, NOT all, have a very hard-time multi-tasking. I think that he's having a hard time focusing on you and that project at the same time. Maybe, you can try to be patient for a little while, and as Beachwalker suggested-try to find some fun hobby or dive into one that you've been neglecting lately. Here's something else to think about-better that he's cheating on you with a project and not another woman!!! Try to be patient for a little while, I'll bet that he'll come around soon.
I sincerely wish you well. =D
I sincerely wish you well. =D
I guess it's just a matter of patience at this point. You know why his attention is off of you and once he's finished, like April said, he will be all about you again. He will also really appreciate your understanding and support during this time. Your life with him will be filled with these moments, if this is what he does and makes him happy, so better to be prepared for it now. In the future when he does work on things, spend the time with Trevor so that at least you can distract yourself. I understand how you feel though, it's hard when the focus is not on you anymore. You're like, what happened? But at least it's a science project and not another woman.
Oh, there would be no mercy if the project was another woman, lol! No, I thank God that I've got a decent, honorable man that's only a dense nerd from time to time! :-)
And not to worry--I've got my two hobbies that help me consume my thoughts and time, those being taekwondo and my little birdies (I have six). Not to mention the focus and time consumption that's required of me to raise my son, who is definitely the highlight of each and every day of my life! :-)
And not to worry--I've got my two hobbies that help me consume my thoughts and time, those being taekwondo and my little birdies (I have six). Not to mention the focus and time consumption that's required of me to raise my son, who is definitely the highlight of each and every day of my life! :-)
My husband comes up with plans and projects and ideas that drive me crazy, same thing, because he gets sooo focused on it and it just takes time from us doing stuff together.
But I try hard to be supportive because these projects are important to him, eventhough I tell him how jealous I get about them. right now my husband is training for a 1/2 Ironman, and he's training hard and he's gotten injured and he's lost a lot of weight and he keeps on going because he's sooo deternined and how can I not support him on something that he's soo determined to accomplish? I complained and complained before he started the training but seeing him work soo hard on this Makes me feel like a horrible nagging wife to complain about it. So I try to listen, eventhough he goes on and on and on about something that I honestly can't wrap my mind around. Specially right now, I'm pregnant and he's training, we are both concentrating on something important.
Its not a bad thing that he has his own time and does his own thing, its actually really great, the problem is when you get resentful and distance yourself instead of supporting and joining him.
I think once the shock of it wears off, you'll start to feel better about it.
But I try hard to be supportive because these projects are important to him, eventhough I tell him how jealous I get about them. right now my husband is training for a 1/2 Ironman, and he's training hard and he's gotten injured and he's lost a lot of weight and he keeps on going because he's sooo deternined and how can I not support him on something that he's soo determined to accomplish? I complained and complained before he started the training but seeing him work soo hard on this Makes me feel like a horrible nagging wife to complain about it. So I try to listen, eventhough he goes on and on and on about something that I honestly can't wrap my mind around. Specially right now, I'm pregnant and he's training, we are both concentrating on something important.
Its not a bad thing that he has his own time and does his own thing, its actually really great, the problem is when you get resentful and distance yourself instead of supporting and joining him.
I think once the shock of it wears off, you'll start to feel better about it.
Thanks, Mumita--there is so much truth to that!
I am really proud of him, and hope his invention works the way it should "in theory," as he always says, lol. I'm anticipating the outcome about it as much as he is, really...this is a pretty cool project.
Who knows? Maybe it'll make him millions, huh?
But yeah, as of right now, I'm still dealing with the shock. I'll get over it.
I am really proud of him, and hope his invention works the way it should "in theory," as he always says, lol. I'm anticipating the outcome about it as much as he is, really...this is a pretty cool project.
Who knows? Maybe it'll make him millions, huh?
But yeah, as of right now, I'm still dealing with the shock. I'll get over it.
I think the only thing that would make me mad about this whole thing is that he said he would call you back and he didn't and then sent a text message. That would not sit well with me but that is just me! :(
Yeah, that is normally not how he is. He's very considerate, at least that's what I'm used to from him.
But saying he's had a one-track mind these last few days is practically an understatement! It's like you can see the little hamster on the wheel in his head running so fast that the axel on the hamster wheel is smoking. Lol. Seriously...you can tell he's not focused on anything but thinking about it because when you talk to him face to face (which I did on Mother's Day) you can tell he's off in Brandon's Enginerd Land and doting on his invention.
As for the text message last night--I have to give him credit for at least thinking of me for a second and remembering to acknowledge me before he passed out from exhaustion from pouring over the mathematics and science involved for it all evening.
But saying he's had a one-track mind these last few days is practically an understatement! It's like you can see the little hamster on the wheel in his head running so fast that the axel on the hamster wheel is smoking. Lol. Seriously...you can tell he's not focused on anything but thinking about it because when you talk to him face to face (which I did on Mother's Day) you can tell he's off in Brandon's Enginerd Land and doting on his invention.
As for the text message last night--I have to give him credit for at least thinking of me for a second and remembering to acknowledge me before he passed out from exhaustion from pouring over the mathematics and science involved for it all evening.
Hon, if that is the way he is about projects, that is the way he will always be about projects. Don't kid yourself. Get used to it and get ready, because it won't change. (This is why, despite all his money, Bill Gates took so long to get married. The girls in Seattle were pretty smart about not tying themselves to a man whose first love is technology.)
I'm married to a man who is a workaholic. He loves me and our son more than his work, but when push comes to shove on a project, I wouldn't rely on it. As you say, it's part of who he is. It does get tiresome at times but I try not to focus on it because I went into this marriage with my eyes open and I don't want to let it get to me. You just have to decide if you would be willing to put up with a lifetime of this kind of thing, because it is going to happen.
Sorry it happened to you!
p.s. -- Also, it is too bad this hit on Mother's Day, but as your boyfriend (not your child) he really is not obliged to you that day. Valentine's Day, your birthday -- those are days he had damn well better be there.
I'm married to a man who is a workaholic. He loves me and our son more than his work, but when push comes to shove on a project, I wouldn't rely on it. As you say, it's part of who he is. It does get tiresome at times but I try not to focus on it because I went into this marriage with my eyes open and I don't want to let it get to me. You just have to decide if you would be willing to put up with a lifetime of this kind of thing, because it is going to happen.
Sorry it happened to you!
p.s. -- Also, it is too bad this hit on Mother's Day, but as your boyfriend (not your child) he really is not obliged to you that day. Valentine's Day, your birthday -- those are days he had damn well better be there.
Yes, AJ.......you are JEALOUS that he has something else that can excite him just as much as you do! If it is just a seldom thing that happens, don't think twice...just make sure it doesn't become a habit and you become bitter about it. Then it will be time to talk to him about it.
LOL, AJ I am laughing with you not at you. I would be irritated also. Now remember tho, men are not good at multi-tasking. When they get fixated on something, thats it! I would also like to tell you something, with me being so much older and (not wiser), just more experienced in life (cause Im old as dirt). U said the nerdy quirky part of him is that which you admire and find fascinating.
Well, the very things that you find fascinating and admirable now, will be a thorn in your side further down the road. I think you are experiencing what I speak of? I laugh because anyone in a relationship for any length of time knows what I mean! When he has exhausted his mind in his project, he will concentrate on you again. In the meantime! Try to be patient and understanding and at the same time, communicate your disappointment about Mothers Day and let him know that he owes you one! Big Time..lol
Well, the very things that you find fascinating and admirable now, will be a thorn in your side further down the road. I think you are experiencing what I speak of? I laugh because anyone in a relationship for any length of time knows what I mean! When he has exhausted his mind in his project, he will concentrate on you again. In the meantime! Try to be patient and understanding and at the same time, communicate your disappointment about Mothers Day and let him know that he owes you one! Big Time..lol
What you're feeling is not stupid. You want to know he loves you more than his projects, from the sounds of it. Right now it feels like he loves his projects more than he loves you.
Minset wise, I'd be like your husband... I get involved with things and I lose track of time...forget to eat....just everything goes by the wayside until I am satisfied. Also my sense of priority is skewed... Usually it would be the smallest things I tackle because those are the things I feel in my mind I have the best grasp over and can get done. As you can probably guess, this can cause a strain for anyone who wants to spend time with me. I don't know if any of this sounds like him or not.
This is going to be a problem your husband will have to work out if he wants you to not feel upset. His struggle will be to balance his time with you and be willing to take breaks on his stuff.
And your feelings are justified. He did let you down. Let him know about how you're feeling, but chances are he may not come to terms understanding it right away. I speak this part from experience when people around me tell me I choose whatever task I am working on over spending time with them. It would be convenient to just blame it on "aspergers" but the truth is that kind of obsession puts a strain on anyone who has to live with me.
Minset wise, I'd be like your husband... I get involved with things and I lose track of time...forget to eat....just everything goes by the wayside until I am satisfied. Also my sense of priority is skewed... Usually it would be the smallest things I tackle because those are the things I feel in my mind I have the best grasp over and can get done. As you can probably guess, this can cause a strain for anyone who wants to spend time with me. I don't know if any of this sounds like him or not.
This is going to be a problem your husband will have to work out if he wants you to not feel upset. His struggle will be to balance his time with you and be willing to take breaks on his stuff.
And your feelings are justified. He did let you down. Let him know about how you're feeling, but chances are he may not come to terms understanding it right away. I speak this part from experience when people around me tell me I choose whatever task I am working on over spending time with them. It would be convenient to just blame it on "aspergers" but the truth is that kind of obsession puts a strain on anyone who has to live with me.
Hey AJ,
Oh honey, I am MARRIED to a person like your boyfriend and can relate completely. My husband was born a mechanical engineer and is naturally interested in and excels in math also. If he is not creating something or inventing something, then he is busy thinking UP how to create something. Millions of little drawing everywhere! I so understand the jealousy and I too, feel forgotten often as he is so involved with making whatever it is come to life.
Every day at lunch I get to not only see the drawing of a part he's made, but have to listen, in detail, about how this particular part is made on the Mill. Like you, I listen to be supportive, but don't always understand everything and some days, OMG I just can't listen another minute.
The way I put up with it is to remember his other good qualities and the fact that he is who he is and all the complaining in the world won't change him. If you love this man, you must except him the way he is because if he is anything like my husband, he is not likely to change. I wouldn't Want him to change. He is very talented and has a brilliant mind and I am really very proud of him. There is nothing he can't fix, nothing he can't create if someone needs something unique. He has a few inventions that make us extra money as well.
Jealous sometimes? Yes. But overall, after 31yrs, have come to accept everything this man of mine is which makes for a much happier life, let me tell you :)
Oh honey, I am MARRIED to a person like your boyfriend and can relate completely. My husband was born a mechanical engineer and is naturally interested in and excels in math also. If he is not creating something or inventing something, then he is busy thinking UP how to create something. Millions of little drawing everywhere! I so understand the jealousy and I too, feel forgotten often as he is so involved with making whatever it is come to life.
Every day at lunch I get to not only see the drawing of a part he's made, but have to listen, in detail, about how this particular part is made on the Mill. Like you, I listen to be supportive, but don't always understand everything and some days, OMG I just can't listen another minute.
The way I put up with it is to remember his other good qualities and the fact that he is who he is and all the complaining in the world won't change him. If you love this man, you must except him the way he is because if he is anything like my husband, he is not likely to change. I wouldn't Want him to change. He is very talented and has a brilliant mind and I am really very proud of him. There is nothing he can't fix, nothing he can't create if someone needs something unique. He has a few inventions that make us extra money as well.
Jealous sometimes? Yes. But overall, after 31yrs, have come to accept everything this man of mine is which makes for a much happier life, let me tell you :)
Thanks everyone, for being so kind and understanding! It means a lot, because I do know I'm probably overreacting about it all. If I had to nail it down to the main reason why this upset me so much, it would be that I didn't see it coming when it had obviously been something that he'd been working on for a decent amount of time, and I hardly get to spend much time with him due to both our hectic schedules and a good deal of distance between our locations.
So it could have been any other day other than Mother's Day, and I'd still feel just as irritated and left out. But the fact that it was Mother's Day was a bit more emphatic for me, because even though I realize he has no obligation to me for that day, it was an important, special day to me that I wanted to share with him for the *whole* day.
But I definitely love him for the way he is, and wouldn't want anything about him to change. He is the most kind-hearted and generous man I know and I really hope we can be married in the future. I don't mind at all his one-track mind quirkiness with math and science...all I ask is that I know about what he's doing so I'm not caught off guard when he doesn't want to spend time with me or keep certain plans we made.
Jade59, I got a good laugh at your comment, "I get to not only see the drawing of a part he's made, but have to listen, in detail, about how this particular part is made on the Mill. Like you, I listen to be supportive, but don't always understand everything and some days, OMG I just can't listen another minute."
Oh gosh, do I know what that's like!!!
Thank you again, everyone, for being so nice about this!
So it could have been any other day other than Mother's Day, and I'd still feel just as irritated and left out. But the fact that it was Mother's Day was a bit more emphatic for me, because even though I realize he has no obligation to me for that day, it was an important, special day to me that I wanted to share with him for the *whole* day.
But I definitely love him for the way he is, and wouldn't want anything about him to change. He is the most kind-hearted and generous man I know and I really hope we can be married in the future. I don't mind at all his one-track mind quirkiness with math and science...all I ask is that I know about what he's doing so I'm not caught off guard when he doesn't want to spend time with me or keep certain plans we made.
Jade59, I got a good laugh at your comment, "I get to not only see the drawing of a part he's made, but have to listen, in detail, about how this particular part is made on the Mill. Like you, I listen to be supportive, but don't always understand everything and some days, OMG I just can't listen another minute."
Oh gosh, do I know what that's like!!!
Thank you again, everyone, for being so nice about this!
AJ- Don't think that he's forgetting about you, maybe he just thinks that you'll be there still during and after he finishes his project. He trusts you and he feels secure with you. Always try to look at the positive part of it, otherwise it will consume you, and it is something that you admire in him.
I've b een in your spot and I know it hurts, it seems like he's forgetting or pulling away from you but that's not it.
I've b een in your spot and I know it hurts, it seems like he's forgetting or pulling away from you but that's not it.
Well from a males point of view...when I was a the sales manager of the car dealership i was working at before i got sick...at times to make sure we had enough inventory coming in, I would go in early on Sunday mornings to build and order cars on the computer..I would tell my then wife i would be back no later then 10 or 11 and most times it would be 2 or 3 and boy would she be hot..And she had the right to be...but when you are responsible for something like that or what your boyfriend is doing we unfortanly get so wrapped up into what we are doing time is nothing to us...and i believe alot of it is pride in wanting to do the job right...and i know it's wrong hell i am not married anymore..lol so must have done something wrong...sit down and talk with him let him know how you feel honesty is best...brian
This is probably going to be the most inane comment you'll receive. Your Mr. Perfect reminds me of Captain Kirk from Star Trek. He couldn't have a "committed relationship" with anyone because he was already married - to his ship, The Enterprise. I know this is fiction but how many Mother's Days and other special occasions did he miss so he could fight with aliens? Most illogical but somehow I can identify with your venting. Also, I don't think he cares any less about you. Nerds and geeks are like that - they just get obsessed with their projects (no, offense, I'm a nerd).
Lol, wolf...I can see how that makes sense! He hasn't missed any other major important events (and not even that this was a major one that he was obligated to be part of), this would be the first time.
I came across this joke email about engineers one time that had a bunch of funny explainations of engineers, but this particular one, I can really relate to.
The Engineer and the Frog
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's great."
I am the Frog. Lol. ;-)
I came across this joke email about engineers one time that had a bunch of funny explainations of engineers, but this particular one, I can really relate to.
The Engineer and the Frog
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's great."
I am the Frog. Lol. ;-)
LOL!!!!!!
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