Advice Needed Behavior/Sleep

Oct 02, 2013 - 11 comments

I dont know where to start. So Quinlan is a totally different child with me verses DF, with DF she has her listening ears on always. With me she pushes my limits  I know t his is normal 19 month old behavior but I dont know how to address it. I even discipline the same way he does and correct her the same way. She just reacts to him, Me she literally has a smile on her face and this smirk. I dont think the time out chair is effective she goes in it no problem even if she is crying about it sits there she sees me she smiles and smirks(when her time out is over and Im going to get her), She also knows why she is in time out. I tell her before hand because she gets her warning, and then when shes all done I say do you know why mommy put you in time out, she will say I hit, or I pinch. I say thats right and that hurts Mommy and makes me sad. What do we do in this house and she will say kisses and hugs and then Im sorry.

Then the last week and a half she will not go to bed in her crib without screaming, We have had the bed down for over a year now, I could put her in there wide awake and she was fine. Now I put her in there she starts with the lip and then she says to me hand hand and wants me to hold her hand til she falls asleep. Last night I let her CIO, it was about 10 mins and she was out at 2:30 she woke up screaming, I let  her CIO for about 5 ,mins went in consoled her and left she instanlty was screaming and she was shaking and saying hand hand so I brought her in bed with me

Now I work 4, 10 hour days. I have Tues, Sat/Sun with Quinlan. Most mornings we have no time but am snuggles and off s he goes. When she gets home we have about 1.5-2hrs then she goes to bed.
I feel perhaps part of the issue with her behavior is the difference of discipling at our house verses my moms. I have expressed my concerns  but I feel they dont follow through effectively

Yesterday at art she was screaming thought it was hysterical I said no thank you please use your indoor voice your hurting your friends ears, and she looked at me and says No No and swatted at me

I just need some advice on the sleep and behavior. LOL I know I can always count on you ladies

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by Sheaby, Oct 02, 2013
I didn't want to read and run - but this is out of my realm since I haven't had to deal with this yet.  I know the ladies on here are usually fantastic when it comes to advice, though, so I hope you get some great answers!  I know sometimes there are ideas out there that you haven't thought of, and hearing other experiences are great learning tools.  Best of luck with Q, and hopefully she grows out of it!

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by hopeitworks, Oct 02, 2013
Thanks Shea :)

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by krichar, Oct 02, 2013
Let's lock her and t up together and maybe they will stop :) I'm in a similar boat, I was instructed by s's FSCD worker (family support for children with disabilites) to call a place called community links for some parenting classes on behaviour modification. Maybe she's not listening because that's df's way, you need to find what works for you :) is there a family community resource centre in your area? I know not in your town but maybe one close?

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by hopeitworks, Oct 02, 2013
I will have to look into that. I'll make a call to her Pedi see if they recommend anything :)

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by mhv, Oct 02, 2013
Don't ask me, I'm clueless!  Lol...but I will be watching to see what others say!  I know I'll run into this soon enough!!

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by journey2motherhood, Oct 02, 2013
I'm with Mel on this, lol I'm watching too!

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by plumber43, Oct 02, 2013
Well Leanne,
    ask yourself, have there been any new changes in your lives lately? They don't know how to express themselves effectively so they act out. Your a great mom! There's no doubt!
   Ella's been hitting me and pulling my hair since starting day care last week, she's gotten better. She can't really tell me what's wrong. You'll get through this!  I know you will.
    How old is Ms. Q? 2 or 3?
Hugs,
Mel

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by Moma_Cher, Oct 03, 2013
They don't call it terrible 2's for nothing! Quinlan is just advanced lol.

For what it's worth I think you are doing the right thing with time out. The key is consistency.... I'm sure you will see her start to respond soon. Right now she is just doing what she is supposed to do which is test limits. It's all part of development so don't take it personal... Little girls have a way of knowing how to push mommies buttons lol.

As for the sleeping.. Well, that's a toughie!! I can only say that I let my DD in my bed when she was a baby and it was so nice and snugly!! I really enjoyed the time with her! BUT--- at about 3 yrs old it all changes and they will NEVER want to sleep in their own bed!! My DD had so much anxiety over it she would sleep on an air mattress in out room till she was nearly TEN YEARS OLD.
if I ever am blessed enough to have another you can bet I will do it different.
Just keep doing the best you can do and allow yourself to make mistakes! We all do and it's part of being a mom :)

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by mandaszoo, Oct 03, 2013
It is hard to answer exactly because every child is so different. You say you and DF use same tactics but there is probably a tiny difference. Are you more likely to not follow through or give her a cuddle the minute she gets upset. Even though she may be upset cos you have told her off for hitting etc. It is hard being a toddler and making yourself understood. Maybe this behaviour is just to get your attention cos she misses you when you are at work . They don't want to be away from mummy but it is hard when mummy has to go to work.  I have parented three toddlers  two relatively easy, third very demanding and terrible sleeper . I had to seek help as was so sleep deprived through her being up half the night. I was advised to go into her room , lay her down say night night and leave her and after a few nights she stopped doing it. although it was hard not to give in. It tears your heart apart when they cry as you know.
Generally to ease bed time dramas make sure ther is routine and quiet time leading up to it. I used to bath them (lavender oil in bath water) cuddle time sat on sofa , talking or reading or watching sedate tv. Then it would be warm milk and a banana before bed both said to help induce sleep. Then up to bed and a story. As they got older they were allowed to read their own books for a set time.
I could enjoy me time in the evening and then get a good night sleep ready to go the next day
Good luck. . Remember you are a great mum and you are doing a wonderful job

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by mandaszoo, Oct 03, 2013
It is hard to answer exactly because every child is so different. You say you and DF use same tactics but there is probably a tiny difference. Are you more likely to not follow through or give her a cuddle the minute she gets upset. Even though she may be upset cos you have told her off for hitting etc. It is hard being a toddler and making yourself understood. Maybe this behaviour is just to get your attention cos she misses you when you are at work . They don't want to be away from mummy but it is hard when mummy has to go to work.  I have parented three toddlers  two relatively easy, third very demanding and terrible sleeper . I had to seek help as was so sleep deprived through her being up half the night. I was advised to go into her room , lay her down say night night and leave her and after a few nights she stopped doing it. although it was hard not to give in. It tears your heart apart when they cry as you know.
Generally to ease bed time dramas make sure ther is routine and quiet time leading up to it. I used to bath them (lavender oil in bath water) cuddle time sat on sofa , talking or reading or watching sedate tv. Then it would be warm milk and a banana before bed both said to help induce sleep. Then up to bed and a story. As they got older they were allowed to read their own books for a set time.
I could enjoy me time in the evening and then get a good night sleep ready to go the next day
Good luck. . Remember you are a great mum and you are doing a wonderful job

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by mandaszoo, Oct 03, 2013
oops sorry

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