FreeSpirit4Life's Profile

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FreeSpirit4Life is

COME 2 UNDERSTAND THAT Your regrets aren't what you did, but... [More]

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Female, 25, Seattle baby Ohhh yaaa!!! - WA, member since Mar 2008

I am a 25 year old stay at home with a beautiful 4 year old daughter. I love my husband more then anything in this world (other then my angel) he completes me, he ground's me and yes he control’s my every emotion that's in a good way most of the time he keep's me from... [More] being self destructive as much as he can & at times I wonder what he get's out of this relationship B/C I can be SOOO emotional and the little thing's are the end of the world u could hit my car and hay don't worry it was an accident but don't u dare mess up my pantry or move any thing out of it's place because those r the small thing's that I sweat it's sooo silly and I wish I could understand it. Ohhhhh yaaa, they call that OCD but that’s not me at all LOL......... but I HOPE HE KNOW'S he is my world we are complete soul mates who are destined to be together for eternity. We have beat all the odds and made it 11 years with quite a few separations but now we know there's no giving up our foundation is rock solid and it's not cracking were both stubborn and refuse to give up on this. I also suffer or should I say live with Bipolar disorder I’m not crazy I hate how people assume you are. We just feel our feelings way more need it be happiness, sadness or anger. Bipolar people are some of the wisest artistic people in the world google it you'll be amazed Knowledge is power and we yes we hold all the power when were ready to use it LOL Sooo watch out all u normies here we come to rock Ur world and make u think. I’m also a very open, loving, and caring person always trying to help that's what fulfills me but don’t ask for $ because I don't have any LOL.... that's not the kinda help I’m talkin about silly. I served in the USN and loved it . I went to cosmetology school and finished it I liked it but I didn't love it and I believe you must love your job so I didn't get my license what else I cocktailed for a while in a martini lounge now thaaat's fun and a workout at that a great combo 4 me. I was also a barista I loved both of those but it's not a career for me to retire in so now I'm just a mom and this is the hardest job ever but the most full filling I LOVE LIFE (MOST OF THE TIME LOL!!!) and want to live it with my family and be the mom I never had because she was or still is stuck on the bottle a horrible disease I hope never 2 fall a victim of in the way she did I am an addict and choose not to participate in that lifestyle any more it tried to ruin my life sooo many times and tries to sneak back in I just think luckily I woke up before I lost everything I received a second chance at life and I am now just trying to do what ever I can to not take advantage of that!!!!! MY MOM is un re-habilitatable hopeless she has been to rehab so many times I couldn't even count and tries to sneak stuff in I gave up on helping her until she can help herself might I add at the age of 41 yes, 41 she is in jail ounce again and no I have never been I refuse to repeat this vicious cycle of life ruining everything I touch. her life style shattered my childhood my dad was killed by a drunk driver when I was 2 ironically enough my mom was only 18 at the time and its been killing her ever since I let it go and gave it to god and because some how he has shown me guidance and taken care of me even when I gave up on him he never gave up on me. I can only take care of the people who show me love not pain the one's who show me a true friendship with honesty and love 2 me and when I need it some tough love I like it staight forward no BS even if there not family in my eye's blood is not thicker then water and whom ever said that it is was blind to see the fact that it maybe if u have a great family but in my case that's all a crock of S*@T sooo that crushes ur heart and soul but it is what has made me the woman I am I have done drug's drank made mistakes lived life on that road and I think I would rather find my own yellow brick road with no wizard at the end just a beautiful rainbow and maybe a pot of gold ya, I think that would be real nice because everything I truly need I can find deep down inside of me with a little guidance but I call the play's in this game and only I can determine my future I'm the leader not at all a follower but I do like company at time's and there 's no boss in this game were all a team and if u scramble that word around u will find me LOL.... SOOO that’s what makes me a free spirit 4 life all my life experiences there's so much more but we'll leave it at that, the good the bad and the ugly!!! only makes you strong if your willing and ready and proud of who you are and I am 4 sure not perfect and have made sooo many mistakes but I try dame hard to be the best I can be~n~just learn from my mistakes and that's me I'm all I can be is real and me either u take it or leave it but you truly miss out if u leave it ohhh burn lol.......... I think I'm a funny one too 8~)*!!!!!!

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Anyone else been through this or if u have any word's of encouragement!!!

Apr 16, 2008 04:59PM - 5 comments

Sooo after a lot of pushes that were needed I decided to get my cosmetology license after graduating in December of 2006 Yaaa I know a really long break maybe 2 long but I know I can do it with a lot of perseverance and studying well here's the question I went to school in Idaho they require more hour's then Wa so I was thinking I could just take my WA board but on the other hand if I get my Idaho License this may be better if we move somewhere else in the future it will be more difficult because I have to drive to Boise but possibly more beneficial I just am not sure what to do I just called my Instructor today and she said she will get back to me in a few day's I guess I’m just not going to give up even if I have to take it a billion times I will learn something each time and I need to stop cutting my own legs off before I even try if anyone has any words of support or any life experiences I would love to here them if not WELL I"M NOT A QUITER ANY MORE I GRADUATED AND I NEED 2 FINISH my grandma gave me this money 4 a reason I need 2 make her proud and not give up break this running cycle in away U KNOW thanks everyone

This picture is from my graduation I was sooo sad 2 leave but sooo happy to be finishing!!!

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by Jacqui805, Apr 16, 2008 05:24PM

Well, I have not been through this, BUT, I stayed home to raise my daughters and only went to nursing school after they had both started kindergarten. It's never too late to follow a dream, and you can't be wishing you had done it later on and still be happy. I say go for it, fight, fight, fight...

by CYW, Apr 16, 2008 05:42PM

well i am going back to school in september.. it is only a 4 month placement but its still scary if it is your dream you need to follow it because those children deserve a working mom:) There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom but its always nice to know that if ever anything happened that you can manage on your own:)

by FreeSpirit4Life, Apr 16, 2008 08:34PM

Thanks Ladies I really appreciate u responding very good point's She does deserve a working mom who loves what she does at that I need to set an example so she can see it's never to late it's just hard I feel like a little bit of a frailer I just have 2 take the test that's it and study along with some hand's on practice it would be so stupid to give up when u can see the finish line u know what I mean I just need to get my confidence back and stop beating myself up about it u know I am comfortable and I need to not be so comfortable and just go for it!!!

by Jen813, Apr 17, 2008 12:00AM

I know how you feel. I am starting school in the fall again after being out of it for almost 9 years now. I am taking classes online so I am really worried that I won't be able to push myself hard enough or stay focused enough to make it through, but I have decided to give it my best shot. I know that if I don't do it now, when I want to do it, than I never will, so it's time to go for it. I say good for you and congrats and just keep up the faith. You will be amazing ;) Your spirit shows it.

Congrats and Good Luck!!!

by triedeverymed, May 01, 2008 09:04PM

Way to go, you are very inspirational!!!
Erin

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