The golden years of Jean

I am at my wits end. Briefly, my mother in law has always had a sharp tongue and no hesitation about using it. She is currently carving her friends (by now sure to be ex) her neighbors and her family, to ribbons.  She is unable to come home after breaking her hip (and it healed poorly, lots of her physical condition was her fault, lack of cooperation, outright refusal, etc) .  She is so angry, and has told her sons that they don't love her. She needs 24 hour care, as she can't walk, won't eat properly, doesn't take her medications (she is diabetic), and refuses to see the love and care her sons have consistently demonstrated to her.  My husband feels guilt, I can't go see her as I just don't have the patience to be verbally assaulted.  
That was the beginning of this journal. I hope to add to it as things occur.  

Some background about Jean. Jean is of yugoslavian and hungarian descent.  Her mother was somewhat of a shrew, and she swore she would NEVER be that way with her kids.  She went deaf in her middle years, had several operations, and has a hearing aid that was implanted in her skull.  This is one of the first ones made, and doesn't reproduce sounds, especially speech accurately.  In her 60's she divorced Vergil, had several nervous breakdowns, re-married to a very negative person.  She has no compunction to say what she thinks or feels, hold grudges and when someone is saying something she doesn't like, she'll turn her hearing aid off, close her eyes and turn her head.  Earlier, she did return home, which was a complete disaster.  She wouldn't eat, take her meds, fell through the wall, her leg did not heal properly, is turned to the side, as she refused to do the proper physical therapy.  I have held my tongue over the years, as I too had a mother that was overbearing.  Here's the interesting part. My mother was a harpy, predijuced, angry, got up in the morning ready to fight the world and beat her kids.  When my mother got sick at the end of her life, it took too much energy, and she mellowed out like you wouldn't believe.  I finally had the mother I had wanted my entire life, and it didn't last long enough. I had always loved my mother, but didn't like her. I was able to forgive all the bad years, and we had five years of a lovely, loving relationship before I lost her.  
I do love my mother in law, but I just can't understand how such a unpleasant person could raise such a gentle thoughtful man. He is at a loss as to how to deal with her, so sits through her tirades, and I walk out of the room.

Today, Denny (the oldest), said that she was going to lose her house. She was furious. It is what it is. She has supervision, proper diet, they make sure she takes her meds and that she is safe.  She threatened to kill herself, of course, she tried that before, because she holds people emotional hostage until she gets what she wants. I have to end this now, because I feel that I am painting a really bad picture of her, and that is NOT what I want to do. I want to sort my feelings out, as she has been less than kind to me and my family for over 28 years. I'll stop back in and try to dissect this a bit more.