After working with thousands of emotional eaters, I’ve been able to decode the secret of overeating and break it down to reveal some basic truths. You think, the main thing you’re struggling with is feeling powerless over your uncontrollable urge to eat. However, years of experience, have proved to me that that sense of powerlessness over food, although deeply agonizing, is really a cover up, and the consequence, of a deeper experience of powerlessness.
1. You feel powerless about how to deal with your self-doubts
2. You feel powerless about how to get real satisfaction in life
3. You feel powerless to insure your own safety
4. You feel powerless to appropriately assert your independence
5. You feel powerless to fill yourself up when you feel empty inside
You actually eat when you feel powerless in one or more of these five ways, because the experience of powerlessness is almost instantaneously transformed into the uncontrollable urge for food. Let’s look a little deeper in to these powerlessness conclusions that lead people to overeat.
Conclusion # 1 – The Self-Doubt Layer
Someone asks you to do something at work that you don’t know how to do. You come to the powerless conclusion that you’re stupid. To feel this way is so devastating but you don’t have to go to the vending machine and eat to avoid feeling stupid. You’ll need to learn how to talk back to your inner critic and erase the idea that the real you could be stupid.
Conclusion #2 - The Reward/Frustration Layer
You go on your 18th date from Match.com. No one feels right despite all the hope you have going into each date. You come to the conclusion that you’re defeated and there's nothing you can do about it. The search for a good mate can be disappointing but you don’t have to deal with it by stopping at a fast food restaurant on your way home. You’ll need to learn how to work on your relationships and how to get real satisfaction in life.
Conclusion #3 – The Safety Layer
You were molested or abused as a child, lived with an alcoholic or had a traumatic relationship as an adult. You come to the conclusion that you’re unsafe and can’t protect yourself. The trauma and pain you’re feeling are real but extra layers of fat can’t change what happened to you and won’t protect you from anything. You’ll need to learn how to create real safety by dealing with real issues.
Conclusion #4 – The Rebellion Layer
You’re angry at your kids for never listening. You come to the conclusion that eating is better than expressing how you really feel. You’re afraid that if you don’t stuff your feelings with food you’ll scream uncontrollably or maybe even hit them. Or your parents were controlling when you were a child and didn’t let you eat certain foods. As an adult, you eat to prove that no one can tell you what to do. You’ll need to learn the difference between childish defiance and mature assertion. You’ll also need to learn how to handle anger responsibly.
Conclusion #5 – The Emptiness Layer
You almost never have plans at night. When you’re alone you feel empty inside and can't experience fulfillment. Or you’ve recently experienced a death that you can’t get over. Or you’ve been laid off from your job. Or recently ended a relationship. You come to the conclusion that food is the only thing that can fill you up. You’ll need to learn how to feel full without food.
You can learn to overcome these five experiences of powerlessness by focusing on the fact that you are not really powerless. Instead you are needlessly giving away the power you do have. Once you realize that, your cravings will be controllable. You won’t need to overeat. And what’s more you’ll reclaim your power, not just over your relationship to food, but in all the areas of your life My 12-week program helps you unravel this false sense of powerlessness. You can find more information at www.shrinkyourself.com