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Bounce

May 19, 2009 - 0 comments
Tags:

Smoking

,

bisexual

,

shei

,

steve

,

tom

,

mania

,

alex c

,

YAP

,

Weight



All day long I was bouncing on high, just screaming and tapping and moving and jeez won't someone shut me up. I don't know why. More giggle fits. Guess it wasn't much different from yesterday. Cept Steve wasn't at school because he had recording for his band, and I had YAP after. Alex said he would **** me and Dana at lunch, I guess knowing I had the option made me a little smug, made me fly a bit higher. I hugged a million people, I felt so good. So social. On top of the world. And everything was just so funny, my laugh so obnoxious and over the top and why the hell does it sound like that?
Then I went to YAP and laughed a long with Sasha and smoked even though I quit and I even painted some of my puzzle piece, you know, accomplished very little before I felt left out and had to stop to go play scattergorries with the other kids. And Tom was actually happy, you know that makes it a day worth noting. I guess. He came out as bi, and was very happy about it. I am not bisexual. No. I don't care what anybody says. Please stop trying to complicate things. If only she wasn't so beautiful...
Me and Shei went and picked up her Billy and we went to Burger King and got free Whoppers and ate them, and I actually enjoyed it. Then we went to Seven Eleven, and then they dropped me off.
And then I found out Tom was only using becoming friends with me to get choser to Shei. But you know, it happens all the time.
Ruined my day though, I'm ashamed that I'm so down now.
I need need need to get better and develop better self restraint, I need to lose these 25 pounds in the next you know, two weeks. I have to. Or I will not be wearing a bathing suit ANYWHERE. I will swim in jeans and a long sleeve shirt, dammnit. Though I guess today was ok. I had a bagel with too much butter, a lot of Nick's macaroni, a few bites of Sasha's yogurt, more than my piece of lasagna, and a whopper. ...Wow I'm a pig. It sounded like less in my head.
Which still hurts, for the record.


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