clean......argh!!!

You see it on the boards all the time and I"ll be honest - it drives me CRAZY!!!  Someone will write - but I asked my partner and he says he's clean.  Ok well dahlin' if you asked me if I"m clean I'm going to tell you yes indeed I am! I shower on a regular basis. I spend lots of money on fancy smelling soaps so that I smell like a fruit basket when you get close to me. I am clean :)  I even put on a good layer of deodorant before I leave the house so that I keep that fresh smell as long as possible!!!  So why does saying you are clean bug me? Because it implies that someone who has a std is dirty. Really folks we don't put that kind of negative connotation of many things except lice/scabies and std's and the reality is - neither have anything to do with your hygeine practices - they are close contact infections and you can shower 10 times a day and it won't make a difference for either!!!    Imagine you are newly diagnosed with a std and it's doing a number on you mentally and you are reading thru posts looking for other's experiences and you read - I'm clean and know I don't have anything - just one more person helping them feel bad about themselves  because they do have a contact infection that society has told them is "dirty" to have.  We really don't have to add to their distress!

We are all having sex. The vast majority of us are not getting tested to know our std status. Heck I don't even think most folks are using condoms regularly and/or properly from what gets posted on the boards.  You aren't "clean" just because you aren't having really obvious symptoms that lead you to go and get tested for std's.  You want to be asking potential partners if they get tested for std's, when was the last time they were tested and do they even know what they were tested for.  Also don't hesitate to ask if they normally use condoms.  Evaluate your risk in general.  Don't just hear your partner say "yeah I"m clean" and assume that that's a green light and no risk of infections - ask questions and get the answers you need to know.  If a woman tells you that she goes to her yearly each year and is always told things look good - she hasn't been tested for std's, she's had a pap test done which just looks for cervical cell changes and doesn't test for std's. Even most std clinics only test for hiv, syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhea.  

And yes I know it probably seems like a nitpicky thing but really - you are either std negative or you aren't.  Cleanliness refers to using soap and water to make something sparkly whether it's your body or your kitchen floor - it has nothing to do with your std status!!!  Even the gals from "how clean is your house" will attest to that I"m sure :)

grace