Friday 4/18/08

I am no longer 'in denial' of the dx of Ankylosing Spondylitis. Too many doctors, too many differing opinions. My D.O. has explained that the nerve pain, the 'ground glass' feeling in my spinal column is from the muscles spasming in reaction to the pain.

So now, finally after almost two years off my feet, I have Valium to ease the nerve pain, and I have Tramadol to ease the back pain, I can sit up, stand, walk. I have a few good hours a day. Praise be to God.

And Dr. Kuensler has dx'd the Small Fiber Neuropathy in my legs and thighs. All this time I had thought both things were connected, but they are two separate diseases.

I started the new bowel program on Monday. I hope it provides my D.O. with some idea as to why I have no bowel function. My G.I. Doc didn't 'seem' to understand the proctography report. The bowel program aggravates the A.S (no pun intended) and my spine has that 'ground in glass' feeling. SFN is flaring, too. I feel, if someone could diagnose the bowel problem, I wouldn't have quite so much pain from the A.S.

I stopped crying, the day I found this forum. My family here, welcomed me into their loving arms, immediately. I don't know if any of them know how much they're loved by me. I am safe here, to say that I am in pain. I am safe here, to ask questions and  wonderfully, someone has the answer! I am safe here, to even discuss the most personal of symptoms and find compassion, and understanding, and sharing. I am not alone.

I wonder, if I will handle my diseases as well, as my cousin Ervin. I do know, that Rich will handle them, as well, with the same compassion as ErvIn's wife, Joannie. I cannot think of her as his widow.