May 22, 2009
Some of you know that I am pregnant. Yeah! I am 15weeks now with a miracle thanks to the kindness of a stranger donating their eggs to me. I know there is the great unknown of how pregnancy will affect me, how the hormones could impact the OVCA and how scars and adhesions may complicate things. But I decided that with the green light from the doctor to embrace the positive and work towards the future my husband and I always thought we would have - a family.
Well things haven't been going as well. I have had extreme form of morning sickness so they ran some additional test 6 weeks ago now and found my thyroid was overfunctioning. I had a repeat round of labs done 2-3 weeks ago and also had a thyroid ultrasound. This has found 2 things, 1st I have Graves disease - and autoimmune problem where my immune system creates antibodies which 'attack' and trick my thyroid into overproduction. This is apparently something that has triggers but is usually not as severe in pregnancy, but perhaps the stress of the extreme vomiting made it active. Why now!! don't I deserve a clear run now? The 2nd thing was a 1.86 x 1.3cm solid mass front and middle of my thyroid. This all got them a bit stressed and I was told I HAD to see an endocrinologist immediately. My primary care physician organised an appointment for the next day. That got me worried. I found out it was out of network and I only have an in network plan. But I couldn't get an in network appt within 2 weeks and they insisted I needed to get it worted out since I was pregnant.
So I went to the endocrinologist last thursday. Apparently I will likely put on anti-thyroid medicines to prevent my baby being hyperthyroid too as this leads to poor weight gain and fast heart beat etc. So I had another round of bloodwork last thursday and also had 3 Fine Needle Biopsies done.
The endo doc said I would hear back on Monday. Its now Friday and I have become a stalker - ringing the endo office everyday and never getting a call back. Why tell someone Monday if it isn't a sure thing? They stopped me from doing a work trip to Vancouver this week as I need to prevent stress which can worsen Graves symptoms until I am medicated. But they have caused me untold stress waiting for the phone to ring.
The Graves is something I now just have to get used to. But most of all I am nervous that this is a recurrence of my OVCA or if it is a new thing (completely seperate malignancy) it could be a sign that my body is weakened and a OVCA recurrence could be more likely. Having said that, the odds of it being malignant are low (less than 10%), but that was the kind of thing they said to me about my original OVCA tumours (very low chance at my age) so it gives me no comfort at all - the stats didn't do me any favours then, so why now. This sort of worry isn't helped by doctors using that phrase "with your history" either. Even if it is benign, they say I still may need to have it surgically removed- not something I want to do while pregnant.
I am also worried about the baby. They made such a big deal about getting to a endocrinologist quickly but now i am just waiting around. I am still loosing weight instead of gaining weight from being hyper now for over 6 weeks, and still not showing at all. How is this affecting my baby? I have another 2 weeks before my next obstetric check up but I am desperate to hear the heart beat and see that s/he is still growing alright.
When is it my turn to have smooth sailing!!!
Okay - Pity party over!