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Why Do I put myself through addictions ALL THE TIME!
Apr 21, 2008 02:17AM
- 2 comments
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Okay so I am only 19 and have been through ALOT! when i was 13 i started drinking and wanted somthing better so I moved on to smoking weed, then when I was 15 I decided to try meth for the first time. I was hooked when I first smoked it! I stayed on it for a while then I got pregnant at 16 and still couldn't stop so I did it pregnant up unitl i was 3 months along and my brother (who lives in LA) found out and came and got me and let my husband and I both move in (which is 12 hours away from home). I still found ways to get it though but I was doing much better as time went one. I had my daughter that summer after being clean off meth for 5 or 6 months and when she was a week old I really wanted to loose my baby fat and told my husband I would only do it till I lost my weight, so I did and got hooked agian and left him with the baby and took off to get drugs and be around drugs and my druggy friends. I finally broke down and came home and told my mom to HELP ME! She did I got help and I've been clean off that for 2 years now. But right after I had my second child (at 19yrs) They gave me norco for my pain, and I felt REALLY good on it. I had so much energy and it was just like being on meth without the come down. after my meds ran out I would start geting it else where and now Im only taking about 2 a day but I am SOO scared to stop. The days I don't think I have it I will brake down and cry and yell at my mom! I know I need help and it kills me. My parents tell me its not a big deal yet but if I dont stop now I know its going to get worse :*(. I want the lord to help guide me in the right direction. I am thinking of going to the church for help and prayers. But for now. Its still 2 norco a day or 5 if I can afford it!.
You remind me so much of myself when I was young. I definitely was a wild child; started drinking when I was 12 and smoking weed. Doing coke and whatever was available. Then I got pregnant and had to get married. I gave up all my vices except cigarettes and had a beautiful baby girl when I was 16. Then 18 mos. later I had a little boy. I struggled with alcohol for some years but then when my children's father died of cancer, I quit that but started taking benzos. The doctor gave me scripts easily because of the tragedy I had been through. I would quit them for a while (bad withdrawals but I didn't know it was withdrawals), and then find another reason to plead for something. Then I had a bad car accident and got addicted to oxycontin ERs. I've been clean from them for over a year now.
I guess the moral of this story is that now is the time for you to stop. Don't put yourself through the hell I went through for all those years. One addiction after another...
You are taking a small amount of Norco right now. You can break them in half and start cutting back to none. You'll have some withdrawals but it'll pass and you'll be free.
Don't wait until you're 37 like me to figure out that life is so much sweeter without the drugs!
Good luck to you,
Yoda
I guess the moral of this story is that now is the time for you to stop. Don't put yourself through the hell I went through for all those years. One addiction after another...
You are taking a small amount of Norco right now. You can break them in half and start cutting back to none. You'll have some withdrawals but it'll pass and you'll be free.
Don't wait until you're 37 like me to figure out that life is so much sweeter without the drugs!
Good luck to you,
Yoda
Wow your story reminds me so much of my ex-G/F. She had a bad childhood married at 15 and had her first baby at 16, then was into opiates for years when I met her. She tried to hide her addiction and that caused problems in the relationship, that and she was loosing her apartment so she immediatedly moved in with me in my house. When I found out about her addiction, I did everything I could to understand her, I adored her and saw so much potential in her. Tried to help her get free of the addiction but in her heart she really didnt want to quit. Buying the stuff on the street was horrible. I used to take out hundreds of $$ at a time just so we didn't have to run back to the "hood" for more. I was afraid for her. She wrecked 3 cars while we were together so she used pain as a reason to get more. She always tried to hide how much she was taking but I found out that it was around 25-30 pain pills a day (her poor liver). Now she is 29, still using, pregnant recently I found out she was into coke, something she said she would never do. I guess the more you use the more your standards fall. Don't wait until your old to take control of your life, you have children to think of and they are innocent little victims of our choices.
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