Nov 02, 2013
guess what, Meegy? what. You're the only one on here right now. Really? yes dog. OMG I can go on the forum and say ANYTHING i want without worrying about anyone reading my dumb spit! yes that's right. sigh. oh well. i can't think of anything to say
cept here! i sure can think of just aabout every thing to say plum here!
ha ha! ooo eeeeeeeee
well, firss things firss
one of the many splendored things i did today was oh shiver me timbers i had to go to like auto place to get my car fix for smog ya
like the ac said he'd help me member? but then reneged cuz Meegy such Bad Person right rr do you agree? sha w/e
ok Meegy? there will be ppl on here tomorry so just watch it
there was this kid did i tell you at my student B's homestay who always went 'kiss my azz B. kiss my azz. smell my azz B!' the kid was like 4
kiss my azz!
i text the ac at work. ding **** text. ha ha! and like ... where is the auto place which corner?
i had to drive plum into the hood!
eek ya basta!!!!!!
so check it you sit your fine azz down with your little hair like five minits in the hood you get hit on by like 20 men! oh my good lord!
i had forgotted.
so one guy was so cute with horn rim glasses and a guitar case i don't think there was a guitar inside but you know a guy with a guitar case ... wow that is some serious cachet and i am not talking about a froze web page nope
but he aint ax for my number just chat and like move on awwwww come back QT pie
some other guys just like 'hi!'
i was setting on the sidewalk like across from the auto store waiting for my car
and then OMG this CUTESS guy came up he was ok younger by idk a few years ok 35 ok 30 idk! he sort of look like Anthony banderas he had long hair in pony tail and he was selling perfume. first i was like keen on his game cuz like i LIVED in tha hood fifteen year and like dude do NOT pretend to be interest in me to sell me something but naw he aint even take out the perfume try to hide it behind him
he is like 'hey how you doing?' etc and like ... 'so what are you doing' and like 'whats your name.' then he sat down next to me. 'you're cute.' he said 'may i ask how old you are' i was like 'no' and he go 'that's ok i don't care i like you you're cute.'
when he ax for my number i regarded him for a minit. like, i know these playuh haters. i was like hmmmm but i caved and like 'ok ill give you my number.' then he want to walk me to the auto place acrost parking lot cuz i said i wanted to check on my car. he go 'put your arm in mine so they'll know you're mine.' like DOG! what! it was then i realized he was a total player and a lot younger than i had thought. oops. bad call. bad judgement. oopsie
he was so cute though!
anyway an hour later he was freakin blowing up my fone and text. like PUH LEEZ!!!!!! i did not respond. omg
then Will blowin it up but i aint listened to that message yet its about tomorry i guess. maybe he cancel. yeah!
heres what i did today: i went to see Nina. she was irritating me at the very start and then the session got a lot better. we talked about the ac and my feelings about the whole thing and him. she pointed out in a novel way to me how fooked up he has been to me and is as an individual especially with the drinking and not wanting to quit though she is not thrilled with him if he were to quit ... she said.
at one point i was telling her about Will and how he wants to goto a famous spot that i happen to hate and she go "why don't you tell him you don't like it there. it's about you too.' i was like 'tell? him?' she said "why don't you run your own show. it's ok for you to be ok too. you have a right. tell him what you want. tell him you don't want to go there.' i am like 'tell him like speak? like verbalize it?" she just kept on. like 'yes. like that.' etc. it was helpful. effective. i may try it.
she said i should make sure i am ok and stop worrying about if the ac is ok.
she said that in my relationships with my mother my sister and the ac i was dismissed. she said she is interested in seeing me get into relationships where i am not dismissed. hm
i just don't like asking for things or speaking up about my needs. i really illy really illy really don't
its extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemly uncomfortable
i would SO rather just sit there in silence SO rather SO RATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you mad cuz i spoon
but i don't give a fork!
ha ha ha! i dont' give a fork!
Oh Aziz yes
then from there was auto sleazefest disaster
and the car so spensive and i gots go BACK
out of money WAY overdrawn. rr always told me to save money. "keep saving your money Meegy it will give you more choices in the future.'
ok rr. ima get right on it. serisleee i ain making fun of you
then i go home like ... ima hike this city today! daim!
i text Susan like we had coffee date i can tell her my relapse never told her. at five but its already 3 something
the square root of 64 is 8 something ha ha ha
them rappers so fani!
u are so juvenile Meegy
and ... i raced to get ready. go! and she's off ... i was like race to the home hike i did it in ONE HOUR!!! this a 90 minute for me. sheesh i got to find another home hike to work my azz
and then i go straight to Star GOOD talk w Susan tho she still a little distant since relapse cant blame her w/e and we both think and think of every chicks name in NA and go thru the merits and detrax of each chik then finally we come up with it: Kara! yes Kara!!!! SHE would make Meegy good sponsor and she is Rikkkkkkkkkkks wife, and god knows we all love Rikkkkkkk! he is so cute. he's the older granola guy hiking dude real great body and super cute face and rils nice and like ... Susan tell me they aint as old as i thought they a stones throw oller than me but they heroin ppl so like ya craggy like not him but her but he is all gray poor rikkkkkkkk
uhm i gots to cal her or see her tomorry ... also Susan go 'you will like this Meegy cuz you so into fitness she a personal trainer!' OMG Kara a personal trainer? yes!!!!!!! she's skinny but i dint know that. wow so cool
Susan is a little weird. but i aint mad at her. she is kind of sik
i mean for rils not like Dude that is sik! not like that
after i hotfoot it back home i got phone session with my old T she is cogent and sharp and on the money! she is so into my life and she is so GOOD at what she does i cant believe she is so with it. but she does admit to me she cannot go back to office/practice and she wants to call me every week. that's aite. i sort of think it is her desire to feel she is stil vital and working yinnae. or just so good to me, or bof
Chula is working all weekend. i am mad at her now. yay!
god Aziz yes
and then after that i um ... jeez now i cant stop thinking about him ... i um ... OH !!!! yes! I wrote for TWO HOURS! again!!!!! this took me til 1030 at night! wow i felt like such tha dope artist and writer! yay MEEGY YOU FREAKIN ROCK
i think i got 20 pages now oooh yeah some of it today i realy liked like DIG IT
i miss S
though my old T knocked him down and rightly so
every time S drops out for like two weeks or more, to wit, i hope and pray something horrible has happened to him ... no, not like that ... something that drives him to STOP using and get into freakin REHAB he is like me he is always like 'no rehab no rehab' but you know he Really needs it .. shut the fuh up no hating! ha ha ha ha I DONT NEED REHAB
such a crack up Meegy
like a worn out shoe
i don't think its funny no more
showered, ate cookies
i mean, i arrived here, like i showed up here, not that i ----- never mind
and you know, some parts of my project were about the yellow hair. ya! can you believe? i know you don't even have yellow hair, in fact you ... idk. anyway that character really has absolutely nothing to do with you no more. well, a little. but it has taken on a character of its own . and that is just daim cool. ty. for the inspiration
tomorrow should be interesting!
he was just so funny, and he has the cutest lisp, and he is (sorry k) SO Smart! its so refreshing to talk to him, i get to converse with bright ppl like him so infrequently. i crave it i just feen for it! i love it ... he is so quick and clever and he is fookin funny! and that precious one percent of the time he is so very sweet
i am freakin tired.
where is everybody?
Hey you guys!
i love you
and tigger too!
ps yes, i did have cookies tonight. ty for asking!