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I'm losing myself
Jun 01, 2009 01:38PM
- 31 comments
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I feel sooo bad lately and I probably won't be on here for awhile anymore due to extreme Emotional Stress from Everything happening in my everyday life. :( Thank You Everyone for your concern and kindness, I greatly appreciate it!!!! :) I'm very sorry to all of my Friends, but I'm really not feeling very well lately and I'm very emotionally disturbed. :(
(Please note that I'm crying while writing this so it might read a lot worse than I meant it to sound)
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I have posted this in the Anger Management Community not that long ago:
Hello I'm 18 Years old and very, very stressed out at times. I have been having many problems that the doctors don't even seem to know what is wrong with me and just blame it on STRESS! I know that is just isn't stress that is causing all of these problems and that is what they said before another doctor found out that I have had a Chiari Malformation. I have had surgery to cure it in 2007, and was hoping that it would cure my many problems, but no it didn't unfortunately and I'm so upset and stressed. This in turn is making me really irritable and mad at times. I seem to be getting really mad and discouraged at myself all of the time anymore and often end up screaming and yelling at my Mom. I feel really bad about that and end up crying after words. :( I just don't know what is causing all of this built-up "rage" lately, but I don't like it and it seems like my personality is changing. I have been trying to stay calm, but all of my worry, stress, and sleep deprivation from my Fibromyaligia is really causing me to become very irritable very fast anymore. Could it be coming from my sleep deprivation or my stress? Or is it possible that it could be coming from whatever is causing my many other problems?
Please if anyone knows what is wrong with me that I'm having all of this "rage" lately, please don't hesitate to respond. Thank You sooo much it is greatly appreciated!!! :)
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I really feel like I'm losing myself and that I have no meaning in life any more, I have secretly been having these feelings ever since I was seven years old when I have lost my Grandma to Cancer. It just seems to be getting much worse as time progresses onward. My personality is changing and I feel as if I'm being blinded of my emotions of not wanting to be here anymore. I know that I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt myself, due to having a strong belief in the Dear Lord God, but some days I just wish that I would go to sleep and never wake up again. Just put me out of my misery!!!!! I have sooo many health problems and I just am been sooooooo sad. I never have told anyone how I really feel because I'm too ashamed about my problems and I just don't want to cause any more distress. I feel as if the world would be much better off without me because it seems to just be going quite swell without my input. I have Asperger's Syndrome too and I'm sooo ashamed that I can't talk, I mean I have such bad Social Phobia that even trying to speak to my dad is extremely hard. I went to visit him on Sunday and I hardly even said anything to him. :( I feel sooo bad.
So for these reasons plus many, many more unsaid ones, I feel sooo bad lately and I probably won't be on here for awhile anymore due to extreme Emotional Stress from Everything happening in my everyday life. :( Thank You Everyone for your concern and kindness, I greatly appreciate it!!!! :) I'm very sorry to all of my Friends, but I'm really not feeling very well lately and I'm very emotionally disturbed. :(
(Please note that I'm crying while writing this so it might read a lot worse than I meant it to sound)
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I have posted this in the Anger Management Community not that long ago:
Hello I'm 18 Years old and very, very stressed out at times. I have been having many problems that the doctors don't even seem to know what is wrong with me and just blame it on STRESS! I know that is just isn't stress that is causing all of these problems and that is what they said before another doctor found out that I have had a Chiari Malformation. I have had surgery to cure it in 2007, and was hoping that it would cure my many problems, but no it didn't unfortunately and I'm so upset and stressed. This in turn is making me really irritable and mad at times. I seem to be getting really mad and discouraged at myself all of the time anymore and often end up screaming and yelling at my Mom. I feel really bad about that and end up crying after words. :( I just don't know what is causing all of this built-up "rage" lately, but I don't like it and it seems like my personality is changing. I have been trying to stay calm, but all of my worry, stress, and sleep deprivation from my Fibromyaligia is really causing me to become very irritable very fast anymore. Could it be coming from my sleep deprivation or my stress? Or is it possible that it could be coming from whatever is causing my many other problems?
Please if anyone knows what is wrong with me that I'm having all of this "rage" lately, please don't hesitate to respond. Thank You sooo much it is greatly appreciated!!! :)
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I really feel like I'm losing myself and that I have no meaning in life any more, I have secretly been having these feelings ever since I was seven years old when I have lost my Grandma to Cancer. It just seems to be getting much worse as time progresses onward. My personality is changing and I feel as if I'm being blinded of my emotions of not wanting to be here anymore. I know that I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt myself, due to having a strong belief in the Dear Lord God, but some days I just wish that I would go to sleep and never wake up again. Just put me out of my misery!!!!! I have sooo many health problems and I just am been sooooooo sad. I never have told anyone how I really feel because I'm too ashamed about my problems and I just don't want to cause any more distress. I feel as if the world would be much better off without me because it seems to just be going quite swell without my input. I have Asperger's Syndrome too and I'm sooo ashamed that I can't talk, I mean I have such bad Social Phobia that even trying to speak to my dad is extremely hard. I went to visit him on Sunday and I hardly even said anything to him. :( I feel sooo bad.
So for these reasons plus many, many more unsaid ones, I feel sooo bad lately and I probably won't be on here for awhile anymore due to extreme Emotional Stress from Everything happening in my everyday life. :( Thank You Everyone for your concern and kindness, I greatly appreciate it!!!! :) I'm very sorry to all of my Friends, but I'm really not feeling very well lately and I'm very emotionally disturbed. :(
Actually, I think that's exactly WHY you need to be on here. You need the support. Drawing into yourself will only make things worse. That's what this site is for - support, not just medical but also emotional, etc. We don't mind if you want to vent and scream on here. It's better than with your mom. :-)
Please don't leave the site. Like I said, I think this is exactly why you should stay. Don't worry about if you feel you might not be able to help someone else right now, just concentrate on you getting better, then you can always help someone else once you're back on your feet and stronger, so to speak.
I think you would really benefit from a support group in your area as well. See if they have one for your disease or maybe just for chronic pain or health issues. There's got to be something out there.
I think that plays a big role in the anger, stress, etc., is your health issues. Have you talked to your doctor about all of this? He really should know. Perhaps there's a medicine that can help or some sort of alternative health care. Have you checked into all of that? I know some people really benefit from acupuncture or chiropractic care. I don't know if that necessarily would help you, just giving some examples. You might want to look into a holistic doctor too, maybe they could work on your nutrition or something to see if that would help, or teach you about techniques for relieving stress and pent up negative emotions.
Check into all of that. Don't give up hope. God has a wonderful plan for your life. You are very special to him. I know in the short time I've gotten to know you a little bit that you've been a blessing to many people on here. Hang in there. Things will get better. Never give up. There's always hope. God bless you, Sweetie. Keep talking to all of us and let us know how you're doing.
April
Please don't leave the site. Like I said, I think this is exactly why you should stay. Don't worry about if you feel you might not be able to help someone else right now, just concentrate on you getting better, then you can always help someone else once you're back on your feet and stronger, so to speak.
I think you would really benefit from a support group in your area as well. See if they have one for your disease or maybe just for chronic pain or health issues. There's got to be something out there.
I think that plays a big role in the anger, stress, etc., is your health issues. Have you talked to your doctor about all of this? He really should know. Perhaps there's a medicine that can help or some sort of alternative health care. Have you checked into all of that? I know some people really benefit from acupuncture or chiropractic care. I don't know if that necessarily would help you, just giving some examples. You might want to look into a holistic doctor too, maybe they could work on your nutrition or something to see if that would help, or teach you about techniques for relieving stress and pent up negative emotions.
Check into all of that. Don't give up hope. God has a wonderful plan for your life. You are very special to him. I know in the short time I've gotten to know you a little bit that you've been a blessing to many people on here. Hang in there. Things will get better. Never give up. There's always hope. God bless you, Sweetie. Keep talking to all of us and let us know how you're doing.
April
I completely agree with what April said. Please don't leave. I think you are an amazing person and you have defiantly been a blessing for me. I will be praying for you.
"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my might rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all time, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge."
Psalm 62:5-8 NIV
"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my might rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all time, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge."
Psalm 62:5-8 NIV
I hope you don't leave for good. Maybe you just need a short break. I've done that when I feel overwhelmed by MH and other things. I'm being selfish but I really hope you come back to MH. April is right - this is the time when people here can give you support.
Hugs .... wolf
Hugs .... wolf
So sorry you are having such a difficult time. There is more than likely a medical reason behind this. Has the dr checked your thyroid and have you had an adrenal saliva test? These illnesses can cause the emotions you are describing, and usually the dr thinks it is just a mental episode, instead of looking behind the outbursts for the cause.
In the meantime, grab hold of Wileys prayer and repeat it and repeat it. Also check that passage out in a King James version, it is very beautiful.....
Hang in there, now. Don't give up.
In the meantime, grab hold of Wileys prayer and repeat it and repeat it. Also check that passage out in a King James version, it is very beautiful.....
Hang in there, now. Don't give up.
I love that scripture Wiley_Willow :-). It's beautiful and so fitting. Thanks for posting that.
We all love you, and miss you Mazie! I'll be praying for you always my friend.
Through much thought on human worth, i have come to a certain conclusion. Of course, my own conclusions will work for me but may not work for you. Though i hope it helps. So long as you are a human being, a contemplative, rational human being, nothing can touch you. Within the walls of your skin, your body, fat, muscle, bone, lies a choice to be whoever you want to be. You humanity is intact so long as have the freedom of choice. And when will your free-will ever die?
The world really is yours to be had. Yourself is yours to be had. YOU make it all happen. You are quite literally the decider of how you will feel, of how you view the world. You choose your own reality. Period. The world is not what it is, the world is how you view it. It can be paradise, or hell. Craft it in whichever manner you please. :) As a human being, you have the abundance of this choice.
i hope this helped, later:)
The world really is yours to be had. Yourself is yours to be had. YOU make it all happen. You are quite literally the decider of how you will feel, of how you view the world. You choose your own reality. Period. The world is not what it is, the world is how you view it. It can be paradise, or hell. Craft it in whichever manner you please. :) As a human being, you have the abundance of this choice.
i hope this helped, later:)
Hi,
I'm joining all your caring friends here and echo their sentiment......by NOT LEAVING here, it might do you more good than trying to deal with all that depresses you so overwhelmingly. After all, we are all in similiar boats, therefore, probably can relate more to what you've been going thru than most people who are problem free and healthy. besides, when you hold so much rage inside you will explode. That, would not be a pretty sight, would it? (kidding).
But, I do understand how you feel. If you must stay away, please don't stay away for too long. Promise? We care about you and we are all here to support each other in good times, but specially in bad.
Having a disorder does not, and should never take away the fact that you're a wonderfully bright, compassionate, loving young lady. We all had our inadequate periods when we feel just crawling inside ourselves and hide from the rest of the world. At least, I was when I was your age. So, there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FOR YOU TO FEEL ASHAMED because of your disability.
You have a lot on your plate, with your mom, the passing of your grandma last year, all the puzzles you have about your health...all that are enough to make anyone depressed. Right?
Why don't you drop me a note ...thru my web sit 'CONTACT ME".....HTTP://JAZZIESTUDIO.COM...if you don't feel like talking about too personally painful stuff out in public. I may not be able to solve your problems for you, but I sure am willing to listen.
Perhaps, with God's blessing, we can walk thru this difficult period, solve this health puzzle together and put sunny smiles back on your face.
Please be gentle and love yourself as you deserve to be loved. May God bless.
Your new friend,
Kit
I'm joining all your caring friends here and echo their sentiment......by NOT LEAVING here, it might do you more good than trying to deal with all that depresses you so overwhelmingly. After all, we are all in similiar boats, therefore, probably can relate more to what you've been going thru than most people who are problem free and healthy. besides, when you hold so much rage inside you will explode. That, would not be a pretty sight, would it? (kidding).
But, I do understand how you feel. If you must stay away, please don't stay away for too long. Promise? We care about you and we are all here to support each other in good times, but specially in bad.
Having a disorder does not, and should never take away the fact that you're a wonderfully bright, compassionate, loving young lady. We all had our inadequate periods when we feel just crawling inside ourselves and hide from the rest of the world. At least, I was when I was your age. So, there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FOR YOU TO FEEL ASHAMED because of your disability.
You have a lot on your plate, with your mom, the passing of your grandma last year, all the puzzles you have about your health...all that are enough to make anyone depressed. Right?
Why don't you drop me a note ...thru my web sit 'CONTACT ME".....HTTP://JAZZIESTUDIO.COM...if you don't feel like talking about too personally painful stuff out in public. I may not be able to solve your problems for you, but I sure am willing to listen.
Perhaps, with God's blessing, we can walk thru this difficult period, solve this health puzzle together and put sunny smiles back on your face.
Please be gentle and love yourself as you deserve to be loved. May God bless.
Your new friend,
Kit
I think I can tell you where most of the rage is coming from. You are only 18 yrs. old and have had one blow after another. Those who are peers go about their daily lives...doing what teenagers do while you watch. Your ability to join in was robbed from you by your medical conditions and you have every reason to be angry about it. Who wouldn't feel rage? You've already endured more of life's challenges than most 50 yr. olds...it's a heavy load. You're frustrated, discouraged, lonely...and angry. Anyone in the same position would feel the same way. Like Kit stated...there is no reason to feel shame for being human. I'm not saying this with the intent to make you feel worse, but to let you know that others have been where you are right now and do understand. You may feel as if you are a burden, but let me assure you that you are not. People love you...and you have to know that there is a reason for your suffering and pain. God has a purpose for you...not just any purpose, but a special one. Turn to him and he will see you through even the toughest times. Also remember that you are a very unique person...there is no one else in the whole world just like you. You are valuable and worthy because he created you to be so.
Yes, your lack of restorative sleep has much to do with your mind and body. Sleep is the way that your body and mind restore itself. When you are feeling a bit better, perhaps see your doctor about this issue and he can help you get better rest. Also, someone mentioned seeking a support group...that is a great idea. If you don't feel comfortable there you can opt for individualized counseling. It can enable you to see yourself in another light; understand why you are having these feelings and find a constructive way of coping with the stressors. You have a lot going on and need affirmation from others who understand. It's a difficult thing for someone your age to experience what you have been through. While I haven't known you long, I knew right from the start that you had a heart; that you are compassionate...those are beautiful assets and i'm sure you have many more.
I've always heard that depression is anger turned inward. After my own journey with therapy, I do believe this holds much truth.
We are here for you Maize. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
gentle hug,
Breeze
Yes, your lack of restorative sleep has much to do with your mind and body. Sleep is the way that your body and mind restore itself. When you are feeling a bit better, perhaps see your doctor about this issue and he can help you get better rest. Also, someone mentioned seeking a support group...that is a great idea. If you don't feel comfortable there you can opt for individualized counseling. It can enable you to see yourself in another light; understand why you are having these feelings and find a constructive way of coping with the stressors. You have a lot going on and need affirmation from others who understand. It's a difficult thing for someone your age to experience what you have been through. While I haven't known you long, I knew right from the start that you had a heart; that you are compassionate...those are beautiful assets and i'm sure you have many more.
I've always heard that depression is anger turned inward. After my own journey with therapy, I do believe this holds much truth.
We are here for you Maize. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
gentle hug,
Breeze
To: April
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it! Your Kindness and Concern means a whole lot to me!!!! :)
That is a good idea, I do believe that a support group might be able to help me. Thank you for mentioning that! :) I'll have to look into it farther. I'm going to a Counselor right now, but it hasn't been helping that much so far though. So a support group with everyone going through the same or similar things that I am going through might be very beneficial.
Yes, I have talked to my doctors about that and they seem to act like, yeah all of that stress is causing all of my health issues. Hearing that just makes me WORSE! :( I have been trying to find a much better caring doctor and so far, I guess I have found a better one. He doesn't know what is causing my many problems, but he hasn't blamed it all on stress yet. I'm going to go see a Nutritionist soon with my mom, so they might be able to give me some helpful tips.
Thank You Sooo Much Again, your Kindness and Concern means a whole lot to me!!!! :) I do agree that the Dear Lord God has a wonderful plan for my life and that I am very special to him!!! :) I also believe that the Dear Lord God has wonderful things planned for all of his Children!!!! :) I'm glad to hear that I have been a Blessing to a lot of people on here! :) You have been a Blessing to me too, especially through these hard times!!! Thank You!!!! :)
God Bless you and your Family,
Mazie
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it! Your Kindness and Concern means a whole lot to me!!!! :)
That is a good idea, I do believe that a support group might be able to help me. Thank you for mentioning that! :) I'll have to look into it farther. I'm going to a Counselor right now, but it hasn't been helping that much so far though. So a support group with everyone going through the same or similar things that I am going through might be very beneficial.
Yes, I have talked to my doctors about that and they seem to act like, yeah all of that stress is causing all of my health issues. Hearing that just makes me WORSE! :( I have been trying to find a much better caring doctor and so far, I guess I have found a better one. He doesn't know what is causing my many problems, but he hasn't blamed it all on stress yet. I'm going to go see a Nutritionist soon with my mom, so they might be able to give me some helpful tips.
Thank You Sooo Much Again, your Kindness and Concern means a whole lot to me!!!! :) I do agree that the Dear Lord God has a wonderful plan for my life and that I am very special to him!!! :) I also believe that the Dear Lord God has wonderful things planned for all of his Children!!!! :) I'm glad to hear that I have been a Blessing to a lot of people on here! :) You have been a Blessing to me too, especially through these hard times!!! Thank You!!!! :)
God Bless you and your Family,
Mazie
To: Wiley_Willow
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it! Your Kindness and Concern means a whole lot to me!!!! :)
I agree with April that you have posted a beautiful scripture. Thank you sooo much for posting that, it means a whole lot to me!!!! :) I'm glad to hear that I have been a Blessing to you, it makes me really happy knowing that I was able to do that for you! :) You have been a Blessing to me too, especially through these hard times!!! Thank You sooo much!!!! :)
God Bless you and your Family,
Mazie
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it! Your Kindness and Concern means a whole lot to me!!!! :)
I agree with April that you have posted a beautiful scripture. Thank you sooo much for posting that, it means a whole lot to me!!!! :) I'm glad to hear that I have been a Blessing to you, it makes me really happy knowing that I was able to do that for you! :) You have been a Blessing to me too, especially through these hard times!!! Thank You sooo much!!!! :)
God Bless you and your Family,
Mazie
To: lonewolf07
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it!!! :) Please don't feel like you are being selfish, your wanting me to stay on here means a whole lot to me. Thank You Soooo Much for Everything!!!! :)
Your Friend,
Mazie
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it!!! :) Please don't feel like you are being selfish, your wanting me to stay on here means a whole lot to me. Thank You Soooo Much for Everything!!!! :)
Your Friend,
Mazie
To: peggy64
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it!!! :) My doctor has just gave me several blood tests to check me for problems such as low Potassium, Magnesium and other things such as my Thyroid. I haven't been checked for adrenal saliva but if these tests come back okay, I'll ask him about this. :) I'll let you know what my results are when I find out! :)
Thank You Soooo Much for Everything, your kindness and concern means a whole lot to me!!!! :)
God Bless you and Your Family,
Mazie
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it!!! :) My doctor has just gave me several blood tests to check me for problems such as low Potassium, Magnesium and other things such as my Thyroid. I haven't been checked for adrenal saliva but if these tests come back okay, I'll ask him about this. :) I'll let you know what my results are when I find out! :)
Thank You Soooo Much for Everything, your kindness and concern means a whole lot to me!!!! :)
God Bless you and Your Family,
Mazie
To: halbashes
Thank You Sooo Much for Everything!!!! :) You are a Wonderful Friend and I greatly appreciate your Kindness and Prayers!!! :)
God Bless you my Dear Friend,
Mazie
Thank You Sooo Much for Everything!!!! :) You are a Wonderful Friend and I greatly appreciate your Kindness and Prayers!!! :)
God Bless you my Dear Friend,
Mazie
To: loremaster8953
Thank You Sooo Much for Everything!!!! :) Your Words mean a whole lot to me and I see the truth in them! :) Thank You Sooo Much, I really do believe that these words will help me out as you have said that life is how you craft it. If you leave yourself just being down and depressed all of the time, life won't be as happily fulfilled as someone who lives their life on the positive. I'll honestly try to keep this in mind next time I'm feeling down and try to think on the positive side of life. :)
Thank You Sooo Much again, I greatly appreciate your kindness and consideration!!!! :)
Take Care and Best Wishes,
Mazie
Thank You Sooo Much for Everything!!!! :) Your Words mean a whole lot to me and I see the truth in them! :) Thank You Sooo Much, I really do believe that these words will help me out as you have said that life is how you craft it. If you leave yourself just being down and depressed all of the time, life won't be as happily fulfilled as someone who lives their life on the positive. I'll honestly try to keep this in mind next time I'm feeling down and try to think on the positive side of life. :)
Thank You Sooo Much again, I greatly appreciate your kindness and consideration!!!! :)
Take Care and Best Wishes,
Mazie
To: kitonthemoon
Thank You Sooo Much for Everything!!!! :) Your kind Words mean a whole lot to me and I see the truth in them! :) Thank You Sooo Much, I really do believe that these words will help me out as you have said that having a disability doesn't make me any different than the people without one. I'll honestly try to keep this in mind next time I'm feeling down and try to think on the positive side of life. :) I really like your paintings on your Website, you are a Wonderful Artist!!!! :)
Thank You Sooo Much again, I greatly appreciate your kindness and consideration!!!! :)
God Bless you and Your Family,
Mazie
Thank You Sooo Much for Everything!!!! :) Your kind Words mean a whole lot to me and I see the truth in them! :) Thank You Sooo Much, I really do believe that these words will help me out as you have said that having a disability doesn't make me any different than the people without one. I'll honestly try to keep this in mind next time I'm feeling down and try to think on the positive side of life. :) I really like your paintings on your Website, you are a Wonderful Artist!!!! :)
Thank You Sooo Much again, I greatly appreciate your kindness and consideration!!!! :)
God Bless you and Your Family,
Mazie
Always Remember I'm Your Biggest fan, "Mazie",
I don't know what to say? You've been such a blessng to me and many others here on MH. I Hope and Pray
and Believe that you will stay. Your My Sister, My friend, my Inspiration the gentle wind beneath my sails
and many others here on MH. May GOD Guide, Bless, and Encourage You during these tough times remember
We Are All Here For You!!!!
much Love, Much Courage, much Strength, much light....
<3 You Sooooooooo Much =0) :o) =)
jimi (little wing =0)
I don't know what to say? You've been such a blessng to me and many others here on MH. I Hope and Pray
and Believe that you will stay. Your My Sister, My friend, my Inspiration the gentle wind beneath my sails
and many others here on MH. May GOD Guide, Bless, and Encourage You during these tough times remember
We Are All Here For You!!!!
much Love, Much Courage, much Strength, much light....
<3 You Sooooooooo Much =0) :o) =)
jimi (little wing =0)
To: VaBreeze
Thank You Sooo Much for Everything!!!! :) Yes, I believe you have mentioned everything about me that is causing all of my rage. It is amazing how much you have described what I feel! :) It is true that I just watch and leave a lot of life's pleasures pass me by. :{ I could have went on vacation with my Graduation Class in High School, even though I have graduated a year early but I have refused to go. I also could have spent more time with my family, but I have left those fun times pass me by as well. Why? Why do I do that to myself? I'm able to view everything that has ever happened in my life since I was five years old, due to my long term memory being that good. But a lot of those memories are very hurtful and I don't want to remember. I have been bullied my entire School Education from Elementary all the way through High School and that didn't help me any way at all!!!! :{
Lately I have been viewing life very negatively, but I understand that those are "False" thoughts. I just don't know what is happening to me and I just feel left out all of the time. I don't like these feelings at all, and I just want to be "Normal". Just Normal for once in my entire life. I mean I feel sooo much different than everyone else due to my disabilities, but I would love to be able to speak up and talk like everyone else instead of avoiding conversation whenever possible.
Yes, I do agree that there are a lot of People that love me with my family and the Dear Lord God being at the very top of that list. :) I do believe that there is a reason for my suffering, but I wish that I would know why. I also do believe that the Dear Lord God has many Beautiful Plans for my life and I have been looking to him for support through prayer. :)
Yes, I agree that a Support Group will be very beneficial for me!!! :) Thank You Sooo Much for your Kind Words, I greatly appreciate them!!!! :) They mean a whole lot to me and I believe that you are a Wonderful Person as well!!! :)
Thank You Sooo Much again!!!! I greatly appreciate your kindness and consideration!!!! :) :) :)
God Bless you and Your Family,
Mazie
Thank You Sooo Much for Everything!!!! :) Yes, I believe you have mentioned everything about me that is causing all of my rage. It is amazing how much you have described what I feel! :) It is true that I just watch and leave a lot of life's pleasures pass me by. :{ I could have went on vacation with my Graduation Class in High School, even though I have graduated a year early but I have refused to go. I also could have spent more time with my family, but I have left those fun times pass me by as well. Why? Why do I do that to myself? I'm able to view everything that has ever happened in my life since I was five years old, due to my long term memory being that good. But a lot of those memories are very hurtful and I don't want to remember. I have been bullied my entire School Education from Elementary all the way through High School and that didn't help me any way at all!!!! :{
Lately I have been viewing life very negatively, but I understand that those are "False" thoughts. I just don't know what is happening to me and I just feel left out all of the time. I don't like these feelings at all, and I just want to be "Normal". Just Normal for once in my entire life. I mean I feel sooo much different than everyone else due to my disabilities, but I would love to be able to speak up and talk like everyone else instead of avoiding conversation whenever possible.
Yes, I do agree that there are a lot of People that love me with my family and the Dear Lord God being at the very top of that list. :) I do believe that there is a reason for my suffering, but I wish that I would know why. I also do believe that the Dear Lord God has many Beautiful Plans for my life and I have been looking to him for support through prayer. :)
Yes, I agree that a Support Group will be very beneficial for me!!! :) Thank You Sooo Much for your Kind Words, I greatly appreciate them!!!! :) They mean a whole lot to me and I believe that you are a Wonderful Person as well!!! :)
Thank You Sooo Much again!!!! I greatly appreciate your kindness and consideration!!!! :) :) :)
God Bless you and Your Family,
Mazie
To: Jimi
Thank You Sooo Much for your kind words!!! :) I greatly appreciate them and they mean a whole lot to me!!! :) I'm glad to hear that I have been a Blessing for a lot of members on here, it makes me really happy knowing that!!! :) You have been a Blessing to me too, especially through these hard times!!! Thank You sooo much for Everything!!!! :)
God Bless you and Your Family,
Mazie
Thank You Sooo Much for your kind words!!! :) I greatly appreciate them and they mean a whole lot to me!!! :) I'm glad to hear that I have been a Blessing for a lot of members on here, it makes me really happy knowing that!!! :) You have been a Blessing to me too, especially through these hard times!!! Thank You sooo much for Everything!!!! :)
God Bless you and Your Family,
Mazie
Hi Mazie,
I am so sorry you are feeling so bad right now. You have had a lot to cope with.....your own health problems and worry about your mother. Sleep deprivation can make you feel so low and depressed, I know. Is there any way you can find to get better sleep? Does the pain keep waking you? What medications do you take?
It sounds like you're exhausted, worried, low right now, and a bit scared. Try not to panic. There are always people here who care. I feel you will be ok.
Blessings Ginger
I am so sorry you are feeling so bad right now. You have had a lot to cope with.....your own health problems and worry about your mother. Sleep deprivation can make you feel so low and depressed, I know. Is there any way you can find to get better sleep? Does the pain keep waking you? What medications do you take?
It sounds like you're exhausted, worried, low right now, and a bit scared. Try not to panic. There are always people here who care. I feel you will be ok.
Blessings Ginger
To: Ginger
Thank You sooo much for Everything!!!! Your kindness and Consideration means a whole lot to me!!!! :) Yes, when I get the severe pain in my legs I end up being kept awake. :( My doctor wants me to take a Muscle Relaxer to help with the pain at night time, so hopefully it will. Before the Muscle relaxer, Cyclobenzaprine, I was only taking Vitamin D twice a Month.
Thank You sooo much again for Everything, Your Kindness and Consideration means a whole lot to me!!!! :)
Take Care and Best Wishes,
Mazie
Thank You sooo much for Everything!!!! Your kindness and Consideration means a whole lot to me!!!! :) Yes, when I get the severe pain in my legs I end up being kept awake. :( My doctor wants me to take a Muscle Relaxer to help with the pain at night time, so hopefully it will. Before the Muscle relaxer, Cyclobenzaprine, I was only taking Vitamin D twice a Month.
Thank You sooo much again for Everything, Your Kindness and Consideration means a whole lot to me!!!! :)
Take Care and Best Wishes,
Mazie
Bless you.
Try a Tiger Balm massage for your legs before bed. It will make your legs feel icy cool and strange, but might help.
Try a Tiger Balm massage for your legs before bed. It will make your legs feel icy cool and strange, but might help.
Thank You sooo much for Everything!!!! :) I'm sorry I haven't heard of a Tiger Balm massage, but I'll look into it. Thank You sooo much for Everything, I greatly appreciate your kindness and consideration!!! :)
Have a Wonderful Evening,
Mazie
Have a Wonderful Evening,
Mazie
I'm glad you're staying = )
Since folks are recommending things to help you about pain in your legs, I can tell you that last year I bought something called a "Shiatsu Massager". I find it very comforting to use on my back, neck and legs. If you ever buy one, don't fall asleep when you're using it like I did. There is also a Chinese remedy called "Ping", similar to Tiger Balm or patches you can put on your legs. The patches can be found in Chinatown if you have one nearby. Don't I just think I'm such a know it all = ( Anyway, glad you're staying.
Since folks are recommending things to help you about pain in your legs, I can tell you that last year I bought something called a "Shiatsu Massager". I find it very comforting to use on my back, neck and legs. If you ever buy one, don't fall asleep when you're using it like I did. There is also a Chinese remedy called "Ping", similar to Tiger Balm or patches you can put on your legs. The patches can be found in Chinatown if you have one nearby. Don't I just think I'm such a know it all = ( Anyway, glad you're staying.
Please find a good psychologist or counselor. My son had felt like that and the doctor saved his life. I can't imagine how it must feel to be so sick and so young. There is nothing wrong with feeling the anger you feel. It helps you fight back. But someone who can listen (and you can yell at) and can give you advice on how to deal with this is invaluable.
Hi Maize -
I'm delighted to hear that you are staying with us. I was concerned and think you made a wise decision. Please know that we care and don't ever hesitate to contact anyone for help or just to talk. You've got your whole life ahead of you...embrace it and embrace the love from everyone here who will give you their shoulders to lean upon. You are never alone. :-)
Take care and have a beautiful day.
Breeze
I'm delighted to hear that you are staying with us. I was concerned and think you made a wise decision. Please know that we care and don't ever hesitate to contact anyone for help or just to talk. You've got your whole life ahead of you...embrace it and embrace the love from everyone here who will give you their shoulders to lean upon. You are never alone. :-)
Take care and have a beautiful day.
Breeze
Hi there,
keep the faith you have a lot of folks in your corner. If you have issues getting to sleep, you might try and electric blanket, turn it up to about 5, it will juts give enought heat to add some warmthe and comfort like a big HUG!
Good Luck God Bless!
keep the faith you have a lot of folks in your corner. If you have issues getting to sleep, you might try and electric blanket, turn it up to about 5, it will juts give enought heat to add some warmthe and comfort like a big HUG!
Good Luck God Bless!
To: lonewolf07
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it!!! :) I'll look into these treatments to see if they will be able to work for me. Thank You sooo much again!!!! :) Have a Wonderful Evening!!! :)
Your Friend,
Mazie
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it!!! :) I'll look into these treatments to see if they will be able to work for me. Thank You sooo much again!!!! :) Have a Wonderful Evening!!! :)
Your Friend,
Mazie
To: nancybrush
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it!!! :) I'm going to a Counselor right now, but it hasn't been helping that much so far though. So I was thinking that a support group with everyone going through the same or similar things that I am going through might be very beneficial for me like recommended by several members on here. I'm very sorry to hear that your son had felt the same way as I am. :( I'm glad to hear that the doctor was able to help him though! :) Thank You Sooo Much again for Everything, I greatly appreciate it!!!! :)
Take Care and Best Wishes,
Mazie
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it!!! :) I'm going to a Counselor right now, but it hasn't been helping that much so far though. So I was thinking that a support group with everyone going through the same or similar things that I am going through might be very beneficial for me like recommended by several members on here. I'm very sorry to hear that your son had felt the same way as I am. :( I'm glad to hear that the doctor was able to help him though! :) Thank You Sooo Much again for Everything, I greatly appreciate it!!!! :)
Take Care and Best Wishes,
Mazie
To: VaBreeze
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it!!! It means more to me than I can place in words!!!! :)
Have a Fantastic Evening my Friend,
Mazie
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it!!! It means more to me than I can place in words!!!! :)
Have a Fantastic Evening my Friend,
Mazie
To: trekrgirl
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it!!! :) A Electric Blanket is another good idea, I'll have to look into it with my doctor and see if it will be able to help me. :) Thank You Sooo Much again, I'm going back to my doctor in a couple of weeks and I'll let you know what I find out then. :)
God Bless you and Your Family,
Mazie
Thank You Sooo Much for your Kindness and Consideration, I greatly appreciate it!!! :) A Electric Blanket is another good idea, I'll have to look into it with my doctor and see if it will be able to help me. :) Thank You Sooo Much again, I'm going back to my doctor in a couple of weeks and I'll let you know what I find out then. :)
God Bless you and Your Family,
Mazie
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