being strong , being brave,  being afraid  shot # 18

O.k shot number 18 and I was crying again. But it didn't hurt. Thank God for advil, and tina holding unto me. The funny thing is I am so vain in front of Dr.'s and nurses that I would never cry in front of them, but my husband , because he is my rock and my best friend the flood gates open, and I start crying, and all the emotions of not wanting to be sick come out, poor guy. He is so good he tells me that I am stronger than him cause there is no way he would take this big needle   ( did he have to say BIG!!)  I think the thing that God is trying to show me is , that yes its true I have always been a strong person, but being strong and being brave doesn't mean you can't be afraid, and I am afraid of that darn needle , I am afraid of tomorrow , what my future holds, but I am brave because I am taking the needle even though I don't want to and I am strong because I am  fighting this thing. So if I cry that doesnt mean I am not strong, or brave, I am afraid sometimes of the unknown, but yet I still venture forward despite the unknown I trust that the Lord is with me, in the unknown,    Its not unknown to Him ... So I will dry my tears and smile because I took the shot, yes I cried, yes I was nervous , yes I got upset at having to take the darn thing but in the end, I took it despite my fears despite my tears
I was brave and strong , and afraid yes, but only for a moment and then I moved forward and beyond. I feel good tonight,
Until next week,

Cindi