Apr 26, 2008 02:28AM
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I couldn't sleep last night. I'm so worried about the surgery. I layed awake in bed thinking and my husband knew that I was thinking about the surgery. He told me not to worry. I told him that I was worried to be put to sleep completely and that I was afraid that something would go wrong or that my complext cyst would be malignant. I'm also worried about the vertical incision I will be having. I read online that there are more chances of it re-opening and longer recuperation time. I cried for a while. I told my husband I was afraid that I wouldn't see my son again. I know that it's not likely that something will happen to me, but I can't help worrying like this. Especially when I've had almost a month to research and think about all this. I'm terrified. I'm glad my husband supports me though. He makes me feel better. I just want to get it over with. I think I might just faint from worrying. I'm also very worried about the anesthesia. I have never responded to it right away. Even when I go to the dentist or when I had my c-seciton, they had to put multiple doses on me because it wouldn't do much at fist. I'm worried that i won't be completely asleep when they start cutting me open. That might sound silly, but I really am worried about it because of all my past experiences. I can't wait for it to be over with. I'm more worried about the operation process than the recovery process. I know how painful it is and I've felt that kind of pain from my c-section before. I'm scared. I know I keep repeating myself, but....I'm so scared. I'm sure my cyst grew already. It was over 10cmx5x11cm almost two weeks ago and it had already grown by 3 cm in three weeks. The only thing I'm looking forward to in the recuperation period is reading my books. I don't get much time to read now because I have my son to take care of as well as my niece and nephew during the day, let alone the house chores and cooking. With not much else to do, I will have plenty of time to finish all the new books I just bought.
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