Two More Days to Go

Oh my goodness...surgery is the day after tomorrow and I'm so not ready for it.  My little brother is so scared for me and I act like it's no big deal infront of him.  I even tell him I"m not scared when he asks me.  I don't want other people to worry so I joke around and not talk about it infront of my parents and other family members.  Inside I'm terrified.  My husband is the only one that knows how I really feel.  Tuesday will be here before I know it.  Tomorrow I have to do groceries early because my husband is working (he's usually off Mondays) and then I have to take that laxative so I won't be going much elsewhere; I'll need to be here at home close to the bathroom at all times :)  I want to do laundry as well and leave everything as clean as possible.  I hope I'm only there one night but I think it's going to be two nights.  I'm going to write a will.  I just don't want to leave anything unsaid because you never know.  I told my husband that I want to be buried not cremated, and that if something happens and I need life support, they should keep me on it as long as they still can keep the faith that a miracle might happen.  They have happened before.  The odds are on my side, but the chances are there that something can go wrong, so I have to say my wishes.  I especially don't want to make my mother worry.  She's been depressed over my cousin's death 3 months ago, as well as other things the family is going through and I don't want her to have something else to worry about.  I hope everything turns out well.