Apr 29, 2008 11:03AM
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Been crying all morning and decided I needed to vent to myself and maybe it would help a little. A lot of us have our pets that mean everything in the world to us but we just do not talk about them on the forum too much so as not to take up space that is irrelavent to cancer. I posted my picture with Co-Co, my 11 year old baby, but I have had another dog that is my outside dog, named Sierra. She is 7 1/2 and was the last in a litter of puppies from a pit bull we had several years ago. She was part pit bull and part something else. But she was a sweetheart. I just could not keep her inside like I wanted too as the pit in her came out and she was jealous of Co-Co. I spent time with her everyday in a huge pen in the back yard. I had a chair out there so she could sit in my lap like she loved to do so I could rub her belly. she would just lay back in my arms like you would hold a baby and insist that i pet her continuously. About a month ago she started having small siezures and had started losing weight. I called the Vet and took her in just knowing that she had cancer and I would have to have her put to sleep. After her exam, (blood work, temperature, heart rate, ect) the vet found that she had heart worms. He explained that there is a treatment and what all it would involve. They kept her all day and gave her the first of three shots. When I got her home I had to keep her in a small confined area to keep her as inactive as possible. So I had sectioned off about a 10x10 section in my barn, filled it with a ton of straw, a big open box and lots of blankets, along with her food and water. She had to have medication every day, a steroid and an antibiotic. I thought that she was doing pretty good. Last Fri I had to take her back in as she would not eat anymore. The vet gave me some dog food just for that and a big syring and for several days I had to force feed her. But she had started eating it out of my had so I thought that was a good sign. I went out several times a day and sat with her and got her to eat for me. She was always so glad to see me. I would sit down and she would come over a lay beside me and i had to pet her the whole time. If I stopped, she would reach for my hand with her paw and pull it back to her. Mornings were always special because she was so glad to see me. This morning I went out, ready to feed her and sit with her awhile. I went out and pushed the door open expecting her to be there wagging her tail, just like always, but when I walked in she didn't move. I guess it was to much for her, she wasn't able to keep fighting. I am just devistated. I have had to call my sister and brother in law to come out and help me to bury her as I just can not do it.
I know I am rambling on and some of you are thinking, " well it is just a dog" but I am one of those who considers my pets, my family. As many of you know, I live alone, so her and Co-Co are just that, my famliy. I am not writing this to expect sympathy by any means, I just need to let my feelings out and writing is a perfect way to do that.
I asked my brother in law to make me some kind of marker (he works some with wood) so that I can burn her name into it. Then I want to coat it with a preservative so it will withstand the weather. I found a perfect place for her in my backyard. Under three huge, bushy apple trees, that are all very close together. It is very pretty out there right now. I am just so glad that my BIL came out to do this for me as I would have never been able to do it myself.
Ok I have rambled enough. I guess that this is kind of my own memorial service for her. I am still crying but I feel a little better now. I am going to miss my "baby weezy" (my nickname for her) and her big smiles she had for me everyday. (Yes, she was actually one of those dogs who would "smile" when she was happy, and she smiled at me every day when I went out there). Bye baby girl, Mommy loved you.
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