Jan 04, 2014
So, I did really good at losing weight, about 80lbs all together. However.... am letting myself go AGAIN!! I've gained back about 20lbs. It's a guess, because, am to afraid to get on the scale!! How can I let this happen.... again?! Yes, again. I've worked so hard!!! From a size 18/20 to size 10/12! I just can't seem to get back on program and am beating myself up and am feeling so guilty! But, when am eating bad things hand over fist, am not thinking about how bad it is! Why can't I just enjoy eating just a little bit of junk and stop there? Instead, I look at it as a free pass to eat what ever I want! Then, I go on a food free for all, and eat till am so stuff and I can move !! I AM A FOOD JUNKIE!!! I guess I prefer to kill myself with food! My diet does include all kinds of good food! Am not deprived of good food! I just get crazy nuts and go hog wild when am around all the wrong foods! I can't even have it in my house! I can't for the life of me figure out why am like this! Maybe, am just a pig or weak or lack self control!! What ever the case, just pray I can find my way back!!