Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.  
Female

Specialties: Sexuality, family, Sexual Identity

sexual problem
Jun 17, 2008 07:15PM in the Sexuality & Relationships Expert Forum
You need to go see a urologist. The first thing you want to check and see if there is a medical reason. There are many physical reasons why a man can't get an erection and you want to see a doctor to make sure the reason is not biological. If you get a clean bill of health from your doctor, the next issue may be psychological. Do you have feelings of gu...
Now what
Jun 17, 2008 07:06PM in the Sexuality & Relationships Expert Forum
If you were a woman, we would say you were abused and that you should leave and get back some self respect and some real love from someone else. I think the same advice goes for a man. You did not marry to have a roommate. You did not marry to be suffered as opposed to adored or at least treated with dignity and care. She is cruel to you--and she means to b...
Oral sex * husbands
Jun 17, 2008 06:03PM in the Sexuality & Relationships Expert Forum
it sounds like he is having erection problems and that oral sex helps him get or stay erect. If this is the real issue, you should talk to him about looking into Viagra or one of the drugs ( Caelis, Levitra) that help maintain erections. He should at least be willing to go to a doctor and get a test that sees if his testosterone is low or blood flow is impe...
my hands are cramping
Jun 17, 2008 05:58PM in the Sexuality & Relationships Expert Forum
My guess is that when you are getting very excited, you are flexing your muscles very hard and over taxing them. Try consciously relaxing your hands, and if you need muscle tension to have an orgasm, transfer that tension just to your legs. If you can't seem to relax and the cramping continues, go see a doctor and see if its related to some other medical iss...
Relationship break up
Jun 17, 2008 05:56PM in the Sexuality & Relationships Expert Forum
You bet. Get busy. Go out with your girlfriends. Join a hiking or biking or tennis club. Get physically active and fill up your time with things that can make you happy. Do things that are different from the things you did with him. Make some new friends from a different group of people. Change your life in a positive direction and don't give yourself much ...
not close with boyfriend
Jun 17, 2008 05:52PM in the Sexuality & Relationships Expert Forum
It could have something to do with sex. Perhaps you felt unloved by him when you had sex-- or perhaps you feel guilty that you did not know him long enough-- or that you had sex without a commitment. I am not sure what your feelings are- but I thnk you ought to share your thoughts and feelings with your boyfriend. If you share , you might feel closer to him. ...