I am taking a brea
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[More]k from trying to stop the pills - the last 6 weeks of continual CT/tapering without success have worn me down just a bit, and I figure if the head on approach is not working, then try another way. Apart from the nature of addiction, there are reasons why I am hanging onto the pills so much - I have been postponing facing some life issues and situations until such time as I get clean, and I suspect that I have not been able to get clean in part because using gives me an excuse not to face this stuff, not to take action, not to put in the effort.
So - I am going to confront those issues NOW, with the pills, despite not wanting to. Maybe when I stop using the pills as a method of avoiding life, the grip of the addiction will weaken sufficiently for me do a CT and get clean.
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Well, the time has finally come, the end of the academic year, time to jump of the pills. I need to make more specific plans for getting through the days and for dealing w...[more]
As much as I feel sad and disappointed and pissed off at myself for becoming addicted again after years of sobriety, I am VERY grateful for those years in which I built a ...[more]
