About Me: Female, 56, Redlands - Australia, member since Mar 2008
I am a 56 year old woman who would still like to have fun out of life but find that after suffering from fibromyalgia for the past 15 years, I am a sad, anxious person. I taught in a primary school for 3 years before having my first child. I stayed at home to raise four
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[More] children into creative, loving people, helping at their schools in many ways. I planned to return to teaching after they were all in school but was struck down with a mysterious ailment which took 18 months to diagnose (FM). I became so anxious I could not attend social functions. This was the opposite of the outgoing, sociable person I had always been since a child. I have been taking Xanax for the past 13 and a half years, finding antidepressants (SSRIs) made my anxiety worse or had no effect. I have gained 35kg in this time which makes me very depressed. Last year I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer and had a complete hysterectomy. I was devastated as I had seen 2 gynaecologists the previous year, had a hysteroscopy, D and C and biopsies taken. My polyps were declared 'benign'. But one was not. Neither were the cells in my endometrium. I was devastated to have to lose my reproductive organs and then also was abandoned by friends of 40 years. Over the years of taking Xanax I have gained 35kg which horrifies me and makes me feel ugly.I have hypertension and high cholesterol which I'm sure is not helped by my obesity. I have a great husband and loving children and grandchildren. I feel lonely and wonder where the fun in my life went. I am able to keep up a facade of jolliness with the help of Xanax. I would like to stop taking it but I have a liking for the peace it can bring me at the really bad times. Doctors have said I will be taking it forever.
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