Jun 23, 2009 -
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I woke up early this morning from a sound sleep because I drank a lot of water before bed. I had slept about 4 hours, and was able to go back to sleep, but not good quality. I kept feeling numbness and tingling in hands due to sleep position. I took Neurontin before bed, so nerve pain shouldn't have been bothering me so much. I felt a gentle, gradual increase in endorphins this morning as it became close to time to get up. I didn't take the LDN until 12:30am. I think the 1.5mg dose is sufficient for now. My levels stayed up all day yesterday even tho' I was up late. I'm very encouraged. I was able to fall asleep without Trazodone.
I still tire very easily, but I spontaneously do things that used to take a lot of mental and physical effort. I am frustrated that the lawn needs mowing, but I can't be out in that heat working. It will make me really sick.
Before starting LDN I had lost most of the will to live. I was so weakened by stress that my body just couldn't handle it anymore. People commit suicide over just one or two of the things I'm enduring, so I think I've been really strong. But stress will take it's toll. I found myself in a vicious catch 22. cycle. The problems in my life were just too much to cope with, I was completely overwhelmed, and too totally exhaused physically and mentally, to address them.
Then came the withdrawl and all of the stress that puts on the body.
So I had a lot going on. I was asking a lot of myself and trying to live up to unreasonable expectations. It's still a great struggle to allow myself the indulgence of rest and healing because the problems are still there. But I'm starting to accept, and am starting to feel better and my mental outlook is improving. I still have mood swings, but now at least there's somewhere to go besides up. I was so low before that any more down would have been dead. I can at least cry sometimes and get some relief that way. I feel like I may still have a long way to go, but I'm starting to think like I might make it.
Physical symptoms continue to be improved. The numbness and tingling is still in my feet, and face, but much better. I still feel wierd along my left side, but not as bad. It comes and goes during the day. The glands in my throat are almost normal and sore throat is better too. I've lost 6 lbs since starting LDN, but it's probably water and coincidental to my monthly cycle. I do notice a compulsion to drink water and my appetite isn't very good. I have to remember to eat.