7:00 AM -

I slept pretty well, but I did take 100mg Trazodone last night. I dreamed, but nothing disturbing or particularly vivid. I woke up with a headache...it's not unusual when first beginning LDN therapy. I also feel more pain in my neck and back than I usually do at this time of day. Some on the database also report an initial worsening of pain when starting LDN. Here is the website for the Database. There was only one person in it using LDN for depression, but I  hope that will change.
                           www.ldndatabase.com


Mentally I  feel different. It's hard to describe, but I have to say I feel better.  My mind started going and I felt the anxiety knot start in my stomach, but it went away with a deep breath and thinking about something positive. It took a lot less mental effort than is usual. Morning has always been the worst time for anxiety attacks, but I got up because I wanted to...not because I was feeling worse and worse laying there. And ta da...no sweating this morning.

I started spotting today. It's about time time anyway, Last one started on the 25th of May. That's 16 days ago. My previous period was 15 days after the one before.  So I doubt the LDN has anything to do with it. That's about how close together they were before I started taking opiates for pain. ( I'd have one about every 3rd month on Norco).  The timing of it may complicate things a bit though, because sometimes I feel better when I start. So I could be feeling better because of starting menst. or from the LDN. It may take a month to sort things out.

I still have tingling in my feet  ( esp. the left ) and the heaviness in my left side, I didn't take Neurontin this morning. I don't want it interfering with any sensations the LDN may affect. I did take Acetaminophen for the headache though, and I took 10mg Buspar, as I am still weaning off of it.

I still don't feel very motivated, but showering and getting ready was easier today than it has been for a long time. I was singing as I was getting ready. I don't usually do that. I am cautiously optomistic. There is always the possibility of placebo effect, so only time will tell.

Evening:

I started feeling let down this evening. I went to a meeting and got teary when a painful topic was brought up. I havn't gotten that emotional for quite a while. If I decline as the day goes on tomorrow, then I'll increase my dose to 2.5mg tomorrow evening. All in all it was a nice day. I felt like getting out with my daughter. Really felt like it, not just going through the motions.

I took 1.5mg of Naltrexone at 9:14pm. About 20 minutes later I started to feel phlegm build up in my chest and coughed for about 45 minutes then I didn't notice it anymore. It could be from the syrup I mixed with the Naltrexone. I felt a little light headed even while sitting down, but that happens to me all the time anyway. I didn't cough hard or long enought for that to have caused the light headedness. It's 12am and I'm going to take a Trazadone and go to bed. I'm not into the experimentation aspect of this trial to want to see if it affects sleep! I've read that it causes vivid dreams. I already have vivid dreams and a lot of nightmares. I hope it doesn't make this worse ( if that's possible ).

I read that the Naltrexone tastes horrible. It does. Even with the sweet flavored syrup it's still a little bitter. I don't know if I'll keep using the suspension recipe or just go with distilled water. Using distilled water seems like it would be easier and I don't know as it will make a difference in consistent dosing. Both solutions have to be refrigerated and shaken before using.

I picked up my Naltrexone RX today. The Pharmacist was in so I asked what would work better for diluting it, distilled water or a suspension fluid like simple syrup. He checked for me and said that there was no information on how to make an oral solution, with naltrexone ( no surprise ) but told me that when they mix an oral solution they use a product called Oral Plus liquid and then add an equal amount of Oral Sweet ( simple syrup ). I bought 100ml of each from him to make 2 batches ( $8.00 for both ). He said to crush the naltrexone to a fine consistency and drop by drop add the Oral Plus until I had a consistent paste. Then keep adding the Oral plus suspension until I had 50ml. He said that I could then add 50ml of the Oral Sweet to make a total of 100ml. He also gave me several syringes to administer it with.

50mg tablet dissolved in 100ml water or suspension liquid makes each 1ml measure = 0.5mg of naltrexone. Must be refrigerated and mixed each time it is used.

I mixed the solution up as directed and am going to leave it in the fridge until tomorrow night before I start the therapy. Each 1ml measure will equal  .5mg of Naltrexone. This way I can start at say, 3mg ( 6ml)  and increase in .5ml increments until I find the right dose. I want to add that the pharmacist thought I only had 2 pills ( I let him think that ) and that I was following protocol .I didn't lie to him, but I don't feel the slightest twinge of guilt for letting him think what he wanted. He seemed really happy to be doing something besides the daily grind!  I don't know if he would have been so accomodating if he knew I was experimenting.

Anyway, tomorrow will be the first dose. I'll take it at 9pm. I joined a group on Yahoo that is supposed to be all about LDN, but I am finding it hard to navigate and find information there. I did read that simple carbohydrates and dairy should be strictly limited if not totally avoided while using LDN Therapy. I'm going to try and learn more about this. I could stand to have a low carb diet anyway. I'll only miss the cooked Beets. Love 'em with a little vinegar and splenda.