Did u find out what was wrong? I have the same symptoms :(
Tried to send a longer note, but for unknown reasons it wouldn't go! The thoughts you have are not uncommon. I've had them lots of times, but I'm delighted to say that 'I'm doing OK' & think that you need a little help from a professional/Doc.Psych.It's unlikely that you'll beat it by willpower alone. Don't despair, As soon as you get help you'll feel better, may take a little while, but ride it out & forget those negative thoughts, they're not good for you or anyone else. Lighten up. Hope you soon get some relief, best wishes.
Welcome to our community!