Just a quick note to say hi! I want to send you some support and encouragement. I know about living with and loving an addict and all that entails. my husband has been clean for over 3 years and I still have some trust issues. my husband understands. if he was defensive when I asked him questions it would fly some big red flags. he listens to me cry, get angry, ask about the what ifs of our family and marriage if he hadn't used all those years. he knows and so I do it is going to take years to rebuild the trust and our relationship. my husband never went to meetings, he reads his bible, prays, listens to christian music, ministers to other addicts, attends church that is is aftercare and how he stays clean.
if you are still questioning his use you are probably right.