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Just a quick note to say hi!
You deserve a big bear hug!
You're in my thoughts all the time, but especially today.
Thank you for everything!
Welcome to our community!
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hope you feel better soon!
Congratulations! Time for a celebration...
Happy Birthday!
Avatar universal
03/09
Hey there,
Just wondering how you're doing?  I'm hanging in there, feeling that this recovery is so slow, but at least it is getting a tiny bit better at this point-day 21.  Just feel so fatigued still, but other than that I'm ok.  Hope you're doing well.
bodegirl
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783490 tn?1236612728
03/09
Reinforcement is always good. I feel good right now. And staying busy is a big help as well. I feel alive, and thats the best feeling!
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Avatar universal
03/09
Thanks Kes!  I have taken great comfort in the support here.  Im sure I will spill my demons soon.  I appreciate your note so much.
Bodegirl
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738790 tn?1377720994
02/09
(Part 2) to make them go away.  So this is a huge step for me.  I am going to embrace the feelings and try to channel any sad or negative energy into positive.  I mentioned before about volunteering with organizations that help people who are in worse shape than yourself.  When I get my energy back, I am going to go feed the homeless (via the Salvation Army).  It puts my life in perspective....I have a great life...great kids and hubby...roof over my head/food on the table.  And when I focus on others (vs. myself) I find that my spirit is immensely lifted.  It's almost like magic.  Thanks again for your note.  It means so much to me.  Day 5 for me today and guess what?   I SLEPT last night!  Hallelujah!
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738790 tn?1377720994
02/09
Kes, I'm with ya on everything you just said!  I am VERY hard on myself and I guess you could even call me a perfectionist (yuck!).  Anyway, it took me weeks of reading ALL of these posts to get the strength to quit this drug.  I still have a fear that something bad will happen in my life and I will want to take them again!!!! After all this h-e-# # I have been though!!!! How crazy is that?  I want to see if my personality and my life (minus the Trams) will return to normal.  I wish it didn't take so darn long though!!!! Oy - patience.  I too have an addictive personality because I have a strong desire to make any pain and uncomfortable feelings GO AWAY.  I am learning this about myself....I don't enjoy FEELING negative feelings.  I would rather take something or drink something
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738790 tn?1377720994
02/09
Thanks again Kes for your ALWAYS encouraging support!  If you ever need me to encourage YOU, I am here for you !  I am total believer in kicking this drug as a TEAM and I will cheer you on all the way - whatever you need.

I have been on Effexor before - in fact, just got off of it 2 months ago.  It was a "bear" of a withdrawal though - just so you know.  Not as bad as Tram, but lots of "brain zaps" and hot/cold feelings and apathy.  One thing at a time though.  

Today, I am going one minute at a time.  I can't look further ahead than that...too much...but each minute that passes is getting me closer to FREEDOM!  And I want that so badly!  Thanks for your support.  It means a lot to me.  
KC67
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738790 tn?1377720994
02/09
Thank you Kes!  Today is Day 2 and I have zero energy and lethargy.  I am depressed and want the old "me" back.  When you went back on an antidepressant, which one?  I have tried them all (mostly WITH the Tram - which I know is dangerous). Now I am wondering if the Tram was canceling out the anti-depressant???  Has your antidepress. helped you?  This darkness and anxiety is overwhelming and I feel that I haven't even had the worst of it yet.
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738790 tn?1377720994
02/09
Thanks Kes, I have been working all weekend and TOMORROW (Feb. 9) is my "Day 1".   I am so scared, but truly want "off" of this drug.  It has turned on me and I don't like the way I feel anymore.  I will post tomorrow and let you all know how I am doing.  I want you to know that I couldn't do this without yours (and everyone else's) positive support.  I was advised this weekend that I should get on an antidepressant to replace the hidden antidepressant in Tram.  Do you have any feedback on that?  The advice was that my serotonin levels would drop b/c  my brain is so used to having the serotonin created via the tram.  Thanks for you note!  Tomorrow I begin my war and I WILL win!  KC67
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689267 tn?1235241749
02/09
This is a hard point you're at. Probably the hardest, because you are afraid of the unknown.But, at least you know that it is possible, and survivable. I know how hard it is to first start tapering. I did it very quickly, and then stopped. I had no choice at that point so I was actually forced to quit. Like I said, I didnt want to lose my family. My husband had had enough.  You will find the strength. You are here, so it is in your mind. If it is best, then taper slowly at first. We all do it differently. My withdrawl was more emotionally draining than physically.Others have it worse physically, and then are better really soon. I wasnt one of those. Keep in touch, suzi
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738790 tn?1377720994
02/09
I love your attitude Kes!  You are right.  We WILL do this and we MUST do this.  I am so thankful that from these posts, it appears that we have not done permanent damage to our brains - however, who knows what kind of damage this drug could do after many many years?  I don't want to find out.  We already know it causes seizures if the dose is increased - so that' enough for me to quit.  I am just scared as I have never been addicted to anything before.  I will keep posting!  Good luck and don't give up!  KC
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667826 tn?1233723140
02/09
I've been off for a month now, after the really slow taper.. Yes things are definitely realigning.  What T does to you is really insidious!
Your taper plan sounds good. Just be gentle on yourself, as you really don't want to end up taking more again.  You will feel withdrawal - there is no way out of that one - but you can certainly minimise it.
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738790 tn?1377720994
02/09
Absolutely!  I want my life back - I want the old "me" back.  I hope the suffering doesn't take too long though.  We're in this together and we WILL defeat it!
KC
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667826 tn?1233723140
02/09
If you know that is how you must do it, that is great! Now you have a plan, and it really is achievable. Please let me know how you are going... I really am happy to listen and be there if you need someone to talk to...
Peace and strength..
Sue
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667826 tn?1233723140
02/09
I found the hardest was at the beginning - I went from 200 to 100 and had to go back to 150.  I had a lot of the symptoms people talk about then.  Once I slowed the taper, taking time for it to adjust, there was a period of 'not so easy' while my body/mind got used to it. Then I stayed there for a while, then down again.  I still had sleep issues, and some agitation/palpatation problems, but I used masses of Kava and Blackmore's anxiety stuff.  And exercise is good.  After stopping I did have what I call 'flashbacks' that were normally sleeplessness/anxiety, but not for long, and rarely now.
Please feel free to contact me whenever you need to, and keep using EmilyPost - as you know it is a fabulous, non-judgemental place for support.
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667826 tn?1233723140
02/09
Kelly, I was only on 200mg a day, or sometimes 300mg. I was on it for 6 years.
I know that many people feel very strongly about CT, and if it works for them, that is wonderful. But I felt I had to go very slowly as I have very poor health, and wanted to be kind to my body.
I understand how you need to be able to keep going - of course you do, if you run your own business. Many will say that CT is the way as you aren't tempted - you simply have said you won't take any more and that is it.  But you would need to be prepared for a very hard time, and have time off to do it.  If that is not an option, then make it achievable! Don't set goals you cannot reach, as the sense of failure will set you back. Just drop really really gradually.. . Will have to break this into 2 messages....
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Avatar universal
02/09
rls was my worst symptom. for two nights i took vikes to handle it, then an anonymous medhelp responded to my plea and said hylands restful legs.   that saved my life.  it does work.  you have to take a lot of them.  
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Avatar universal
02/09
i see that i didn:t answer yr questions.  yes, i struggle with energy, but i did before i took tram. i am really channelling energy into my health now that i am off of it.    same with depression.  it is actually lifting AFTER the tram. i was very depressed on the tram.  my life was so out of control on tram that everything slowly started getting better. it took me a couple of months.  if you have some dough supplements help and so does acupuncture.  i was so bad off ,  there was no where to go but up.  i did not want to die.  if you are afraid of the first few days opiates help.
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Avatar universal
02/09
i thought of something else.  the tram mind comes up with all kinds of crazy reasoning. it will try to keep you taking it.  yr pain will probably improve dramatically but imo if it doesn't,  opiates are much much safer and easier for the body. not as hard to detox either.  but beware of yr thinking.  you are not in yr right mind so to speak.  read emilypost day 45 and the early ones.
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Avatar universal
02/09
everthing is better than when i was taking it.  the pain went away. tram creates pain. all i can say is that you are tearing your body and mind apart with this poison and at some point you will have to quit.  there is no maintenance dose. you start healing right away and you can tell.  it's not a picnic but you know you are going up, not down.
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Avatar universal
01/09
Kes,  No worries about not making a "committment" to quitting.  For each of us, "it takes what it takes" to get to that point...and some will never decide to quit taking this drug.  Emily's site is simply a forum.  No two people need think alike or act alike.  You mentioned in your note to me that (we) all seem so "connected".  Now that you mention it, I suppose you are right.  But we are only connected in our common addiction to tram. Keep coming back.  Fred
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Avatar universal
01/09
hi, i was in your shoes 2 months ago.  the thing to do is get a plan of attack.  get ready.  get your props and aids ready.  there is stuff you can take.  taper down,  and you will be miserable. you will think the misery will get worse but it doesn't.  quit ct and it gets better .  strange but true. post on emilypost , people have alls sorts of ideas on how to get through.
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Avatar universal
01/09
Kes, Wishing you that moment of clarity when powerlessness finds hope and you "get" that this battle can be won if you make it the most important thing in your life for a few days.  The way back to Emily Post's site is

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/16650?personal_page_id=142

I mention this, becauseI had a hard time finding MY way back to the site after my first startling visit.  Everyone there "gets" how this terrible addiction can be.  Let us know how you are doing. Fred
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Avatar universal
01/09
I am not far from coldwater at all, small world, lol.
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Avatar universal
01/09
Hope you feel better soon! OMG that is cold, lol. I am just north of barrie, have you heard of that?
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Avatar universal
01/09
Welcome to our community! You know it won`t be easy. Changing our lives takes hard work, but there is no better feeling than coming out on top. You have to believe in yourself first and i know you can quit:)
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