Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank
Post It
Just a quick note to say hi!
You deserve a big bear hug!
You're in my thoughts all the time, but especially today.
Thank you for everything!
Welcome to our community!
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hope you feel better soon!
Congratulations! Time for a celebration...
Happy Birthday!
Avatar universal
08/10
Just a quick note to say hi!  Hey girl..just wanted u to know ..i miss ya out here and i hope you are doing good!!
love n hugs.
pat
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
07/10
Hi Bode!!!! just wanted to send a note to let you know Im thinking about you..and i hope you are doing good...
Love n hugs,
Pat
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
05/10
Just wanted you to know Im thinking about ya..Hope all is good...
Hugs,
Pat
Blank
Report
728026 tn?1273157559
04/10
Hi-

That is so cool that you are doing so well after being off of both of "my drugs"!  That gives me such incentive again.  I did do this once before so I do know That I can do it again, I just hate the terrible anxiety that I get.

I am treating my adrenals and thyroid this time around, so I have to assume it will be somewhat better.  That is why I believe I could not do it last year; went into severe arrytmia..  There is some truly serius down regulation on our endocrine system that kills us during w/d.  



Thanks for the support!
Blank
Report
728026 tn?1273157559
04/10
Hi-  I spoke with you last year as we were getting off neurontin and tram together.  How are you doing.

I have had some year, heart surgery, menopause and hypothryoid.  But am finally getting better and in the last six months started my slow wean again of my fibromyalgia drugs.  I am down from 3600 mgs of neurontin to 200 mg in am only.  And am starting my tram w/d.  Felt alot of anxiety yesterday late in day...yuk.  

HOw are you doing a year later?  ARe you completely off everything now?

Thanks.
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
04/10
Thanks Dear One...i do appreciate your encouragment...How are you doing??
Love n hugs,
pat
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
03/10
Yeah! Good for you! I hope you know how special you are, Honey. Your loving heart shines through in every post you write. I am happy to hear about your experience. Tram caused me to sink DEEPLY into self pity and resentment. Ugh! I didn't see it....an insidious descent into the morass of emotional sickness where reaction to others around my 'sensitivities' seemed the only course (my OTHER course of action was taking more drug) I DID NOT see this and handled many things poorly. I regret this. I am making amends every day by being loving toward my partner AND MYSELF. I read Joel Goldsmith's Infinite Way every morning and try to meditate as he suggests. It really helps. You are amazing. Hope you have a great day FREE today, Hon
all is well
You are Loved
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
03/10
Hi Sweetheart! looks like you are going to have to change your quick message to I AM FREE.....don't I remember correctly that you were kinda 'ripped up' about your marriage a few journals ago? Things sound improved, Honey...I am SO HAPPY for you.
I am learning a lot these days. About love, about life and mostly about self-forgiveness.
Blank
Report
1212005 tn?1281973941
02/10
hiya Bode,...

my worst symptoms are pain ...its like electric volts going threw me at a million miles an hour, im hot and cold, dizzy,shakes, toilet trips are hell...no sleep and i seem to have made myself hate me.....its day 7 and i dread to think whats next, im praying i can get better real soon i have two young boys to take care of, 9 and 13... the 13 year old is autistic and its been so so hard this week, it upsets me as it hurts my skin to hug them.....i tried the doctor he seemed more concerned about natural self help....excercise, hobbies.....i just wanted to strangle him!! if this keeps on i will go back...my lads need me...thank you so much again Bode, i appreciate your help and support xx
Blank
Report
1212005 tn?1281973941
02/10
thanks for your support Bode, it means alot to me. the past few days have been pure hell and its great to know im not alone thanks again, hugs xx
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
02/10
Bode- Hi! When do you go to the MD? Hope you are doing well. We have lots of snow! Yesterday, after work I went snowshoeing. It was beautiful out in the woods as the sun set. I am off work today. Going to get my hair done, do a check in  with my new psychiatrist and get in a yoga class. What are you doing over the weekend? I never did get to the movie Hurt Locker yet so I might try to do that. My man and I are struggling right now. Been going on awhile. We have counseling sessions set up but at home we get along great for a few days and then argue.
I have resentments because I have not been assertive, go figure. I am THE MOST assertive person at my job. be well love Sal
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
02/10
thanks Hon...you are the only one who knows...I don't want to tell my partner....we have not been doing well about so many issues...that is a part of my anxiety anyway...and I know it fueled my addiction...now I am not blaming him...I could have explored a different response...and I just decided to get high...anyway I am waiting for this doc to call..I am going to go to yoga and see the movie Hurt Locker this afternoon    r u doing well?  hows the sub? any depression?
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
02/10
oops!
no I am not doing that great, Hon...I filled my script on Sat and have been taking Tram over the last 4 days. I am struggling so with the depression and anxiety. I have a call out to a psychiatrist..I hope to get in and see what he thinks about an AD for me while I try to get off this stuff.....it's a horrid w/d   how are you?????
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
02/10
Just a quick note to say hi!
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
01/10
Hi Bode must be 12 days for you  THATS GREAT! hope it is going well and you are able to show up at work and home like you desire.....I am terribly anxious today...yesterday was a great day  whassupwithat? oh well  maybe I'll get some sleep tonight  what dose of sub are you on now?  are you having any AD type w/d symptoms? keep goin' Hon
Blank
Report
199177 tn?1490498534
01/10
I know ......  1mg of sub equals about One hundred and fifty mgs of tramadol  . ..What ever works for you hopefully u will only have mild WD from the sub .I do know if you go slow all of the way down to a crumb it makes it so much easier ..It sounds like you have a good doctor and that is so important he seems to be looking out for your well being you are very lucky not all sub doctors are like that ..let us know how things go ....
Good luck
avis
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
01/10
Just a quick note to say hi!  Even though I am just starting i would like to help you too...and be supportive...as much as i can...sometimes helping others can move our own healing along.  i've decided NOT to talk to my dr about suboxone..i do not think they would be willing to move me to another drug ..as theyt do not know extent of my dependence.. and honestly, at this point..im thinking maybe this is not the route i should take...but i am considering at home rememdy for recovering from opiates.."thomas" i think it is called - have you ever tried that??  it sounds interesting and maybe worth a try. You sound like a very strong young woman..I am sending warm and positive thoughts for your strength & courage to stay off this very tricky drug.
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
01/10
Thank you for everything!  Happy Tears this morning dear girl!!  thanks for continued encouragement...the "aloneness" can sometimes do us in...i have not heard back from my friend but thanks for the note about courage..i 2nd guessed myself yesterday ..i put her in a tough position by disclosing all that i did ..but again. i have no control over her response..only have control of my own actions.  I hope you are enjoying your weekend with your family..and thank you again from my heart.
grandma pat
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
01/10
thank you again..u can't know how much it means to know that i am not alone anymore with this....i took a huge step and wrote a letter to one my closest friends this morning and told her about my addictions..i apologized for being dishonest..i need to start somehwere..i have no control over how she will react to this news. i can only pray that she will be supportive and not judge but there is always the chance that she will walk away.....i will talk to others about the suboxone..can my regular dr. precribe or do i need a specialist?  i will at least ask them about it. .i have 5 grandsons  7, 5, 3, 2 and 6months...i have tenderness for you and being a mom..sounds like you are my daughters ages maybe.  thank you again..
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
01/10
Just a quick note to say hi!  one more question for you..i see others talking about suboxone...would you recommend i talk to my dr about this to help taper off the tram?
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
01/10
Thank you so much..it means a lot that you took the time to send me this.  i got a call from one of the doc's in my office last night  i had called in refill on xanax..she told me that we need to talk about other options..as i am taking too much and becomiing dependent...right now..seems only way i can sleep is taking the xanax..and i told her that. she said she would refill this one but to make appt so we can look at other options. im scared but had a wierd sense of relief.  i know im in for so some tough times ahead. thank you for the hug..you are a kind person...i appreciate the support.
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
01/10
Just a quick note to say hi!
Bode- I don't know how to use this site very well. I slept 12 hours last night. My partner and I had an argument on friday and I triggered into extreme anxiety state over it I know it is PAWS...could NOT sleep. After we re connected I felt better. We are going to see a counselor on Wed that should help, too. W/D is hell. I see MD on tues. I feel like a basketcase. I see my mom who is dying of a rare disease today..tough. I go back to work tomorrow. I hope you are having a great weekend. yes, I am a nurse. Been one for 30 years Tell me how things are going!!!!
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
01/10
Just a quick note to say hi!
Bode- great news about your suboxone experience so far...hey if I ever have to w/d from TRam again (God Forbid but you never know...) I would definitely use suboxone...I think you will be pleasantly surprised at the w/d from sub...if you taper and don't take it too long .....a month? should be very doable...enjoy your wkend with the kids. I'll try a higher melatonin dose and maybe the meditation CD mentioned on the post recently. I did not sleep one wink last night...I took a clonidine this am after 2 days without it...but I needed it today   ROUGH NITE  I am here for you, too !!! THANKS  
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
01/10
Just a quick note to say hi! Bode-
you must have started the suboxone today. what is your dose and how is it going? you probably take it sub lingual twice a day. that is how we gave it. we would do a 5 or 7 day taper with heroin ...but let's face it Trams are harder to w/d from. I think we both suspect that.......hope it is going well for you on the Sub....let me know, I am interested in hearing about your experience...I wish I had done the suboxone, actually...it occurred to me too late, I think  about 5 days out......I appreciate your info about 'dates out' from last Tram....thank you..I am taking melatonin very night...but only 3mg should I take more?
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
01/10
Divorce is so stressful. I would wait and get completely clean and sober before trying to slay that dragon. You need at least 6 mos. to recover from coming off of Tram. I had a very supportive husband and it was hell coming of off Tram. Lots of depression to deal with. Go slow..get your self WELL first and than deal with the husband. Your in the fight of your life and you need all the support you can get. Do the divorce down the road when your completely well. Peaceful wishes from California
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
01/10
Ran out of space but just wanted to say that I am still working it all out and have had some pretty bad w/d on and off.  Clean since Dec 20th but some days still just suck.  I spent the day in the ER yesterday for one of the worst migranes I have ever had.  Came home and a few hours later it was worse than before but I just got to add on throwing up every time I drank/ate something.  have no idea if this is w/d related or not I just prayed and prayed to feel better today and I do.  I have to lead a district meeting Tue and was so afraid I wouldn't even be able to fly down to the meeting.  Anyhow, I do have good days and know that I will have more and more.  Don't hesitate to write anytime...we are all here for eachother and we all need each other alot!!  Many hugs and warm thoughts!!
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
01/10
Bode,  i am sorry to hear about the law suit and hopefully it will settle out for both of you.  I have alot going on too and I know that when I decided to get really clean, I wanted to "clean out everything else" if you know what i mean.  I think it is really important to handle things one at a time and really tackle that one and move to the next task in front of you.  If you are really disconnected w/your husband it might really be important to get clean first so he has NOTHING to attack/accuse you of.  Then the question of being fit/able to have children ect.. isn't the issue and all you have to do is say, test me if you don't believe me.  I think(just my silly thought)that tackle the issue that is the most impactful first and then move on.  I will be here and so will everyone else!  :)
Blank
Report
946806 tn?1246065769
01/10
bodegirl, Saw your posts in Emily's journal...I've been there (and may find myself back there), and wish you the best.
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
01/10
Hello Bodegirl!   You should know that we love and accept you in any state that you find yourself.  You are always my friend.   May 2010 bring you peace and happiness in all of your ways.  

Best Regards, fred
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
04/09
BodeGRL,  Thank you for continuing to come back here and share how you did this.  It was stories just like yours that gave me the courage to think I could possibly make it.  I never really planned to stay around either Bode, but I guess it's that graditude one feels for getting our lives back.  You are so GREAT!     Sorry about your "wipe out" on the trail and your hand.  Fred
Blank
Report
766877 tn?1240836007
03/09
Thank you so much for the encouragement...I have played around with the idea of quiting c/t, but as you know "something" always seems to come up...Idk one day at a time I guess...
Blank
Report
Avatar universal
03/09
bodegirl, Glad you found something inspirational in my post.  If I am not mistaken, you are hitting about 3 weeks off this stuff.  Congratulations.  I know that at about that point, we find it difficult to believe that further well being can happen...but it really can and dose.  I know that I was still having sleeplessness at between 45-60 days.  Madtram encouraged me at that point, and within another month, low and behold, I began sleeping much better. Please take comfort in knowing that EVERY day you put between you and that last pill, can only make you better. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

I hope that you will continue to post as well.  We all have a story to tell.  Fred
Blank
Report