"Listen to me very carefully, or try to at least because at times like these it is very hard to hear beyond your own despair. But I need to tell you that it will change. It will get better. Don't take a final step you can't take back. At ..."
beelzebubba's Profile
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About Me: Male, 66, Los Angeles, CA, member since May 2010
Sometimes I feel confident that we are all reborn after death. Sometimes I think that it all just stops. Either way it seems fine to me. The problem is thinking about life. I don't get afraid about this, but more upset because either way this is the only one I get as "m
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e". Some might say that is just the "ego" creating fear in my heart. Well it is doing a fine job of it. Because my depression has overshadowed everything and pretty much determined the course of my life for the last 30 years. Oh I take responsability for allowing it to, but whatever the truth about that is, the facts are that I am sitting here in the wastelands of the life that "I" have been given. I need some self-forgiveness but for me that is the gold ring I just can't grasp. So here I am trying to find a way to be in the present and trying to make "now" my focus and working on making the time I have left something nice at least.
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emotional health, Depression, Heart Health, Men's Health, Pain, Back pain, sexual health, Sleep disorders, Weight Management, Diet and Nutrition, Exercise and Fitness, weight loss surgery, Art, Love
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, Beauty, Science Fiction, writing, diane, Costa Rica, Cholesterol, Nutrition, Chronic Pain, High Blood Pressure/Hypertension
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Sep 18, 2010
"The best thing about unconditional support is that it means not pushing any conversation on anybody. In other words it is ok if you don't want to talk about it (meds or therapy). We (I) am here to support you any way we can. "
Sep 18, 2010
"Sometimes I think it seems like something is wrong with us for having difficulties to overcome. But it would be better to reframe that point of view (because it just makes us feel worse when we think something about us is wrong). I prefe..."
OK. It is time for me to write. Because I am trying to be productive and am running into a wall. At first I was just thinking that it was my usual modus operandi… procrast...
WTF? I have enough on my hands dealing with my depression and all of the thoughts that plague me that are not real.... why do I have to deal with such a harsh reality? Tho...
I hate it when I seem to be having a good day and then without notice I plunge into the dark. I have been doing CBT for some time and am fairly aware of my thoughts, wheth...
Weight Tracker Stats
Start weight:
296.6 lb
Weight change:
Lost 21.6 lb
Current weight:
275.0 lb
Goal
Goal weight:
165.0 lb
% Goal Complete:
16.4%
% Time Complete:
Goal tracking ended.
Days left:
Goal tracking ended.
Mood Tracker Stats
Condition:
Major Depressive
Sleep Tracker Stats
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09/10
Just a quick note to say hi! BE VERY CAREFUL WHAT MEDICATION IS GIVEN TO YOUR LOVE ONES, MUST READ WHAT HAPPEN TO OUR MOM WHO HAD DEMENTIA / ALZHEIMERS YOU CAN FINE UNDER HALDOL AND POST OPETATIVE DEMENTIA , THANK YOU
MOMSVOICE4
08/10
You're right your situation exactly mirrors mine. Right now I am in the darkest place in my life. No future. I see everyone getting along in their lives but I am still stagnating, not going anywhere. The emotional pain is too terrible to bear many times. I will call my doctor tomorrow that I have gotten worse, don't know what he can do for me, but that is my last resort
Thanks for your note, I don't feel quite alone anymore.
08/10
Thank you for everything! Thanks for adding me as a friend now I don't feel so alone on this site. lol
08/10
Just a quick note to say hi! Thankyou, i am thinking of you too, how have you been, i hope all is well with you. Take care
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