I think what worries me the most is when you said, "He very concerned about not being smart enough. Hes worried his friends are smarter than him." He obviously is intelligent if he is doing well in school, and if he has ADHD he probably is very intelligent. The sad thing is that he is knows he is not doing as well as he should. Anxiety and depression are very common co-disorders of ADHD and this is a good example of how that happens. Back when I was teaching - when a child started getting really frustrated, was when I had a pretty good feeling that child probably was ADHD or ADD. And many times it was when the child hit things like common denominators in math and their innate intelligence could not make up for the concentration lack while the teacher was explaining it - they it really became apparent.
So, anyway, what to do?
First, here is a link of ADHD symptoms: http://www.help4adhd.org/en/about/what/WWK1
If you do think he does have ADHD, then you need to get him tested. While the school psyc can do it - it will could take a long time. If possible, doing it privately is better and you want a children's psychiatrist to do it - not a pediatrician. Here is info on the whole testing process: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/attention-deficit-disorder-adhd-tests-and-diagnosis.htm
And, yes, medication - if he has ADHD will make a huge difference. It not only will help with the schooling, it also can make a big difference with anxiety, etc. By the way, if your doctor does start meds. The following link has some extremely important information on that whole process!
And, of course, medication is only part of the answer - strategies on dealing with ADHD on both a personal and academic level are as important or more so then the meds.
This is a wonderful site! This link to behavior at school, but you can search for almost anything you want to improve. The link is: http://www.additudemag.com/resource-center/adhd-school-behavior.html
I have lots and lots of their specific links bookmarked because they are so good. If you can't find something let me know.
Perhaps, the most important thing that you can do is to become an expert on ADHD. You are going to be his most valuable assist for quite awhile. If you need any more info on any aspect of ADHD - please let me know. Best wishes.
Thank you so much for your info and support. I know it is very hard for him, but as a mom its also very heart breaking for me to watch him struggle and always be upset with himself. You mentioned depression. He definitely has issues with depression and I worry what he could do in his teenage years. Especially with suicide being so much on the rise. no one would want to think their children could be capable of that. I think anyone is capable of it and I do not ever want to see it. Thank you
Make sure his teacher knows that you are thinking of getting him tested for ADHD and that she knows about his anxiety and depression about grades. If the testing is done correctly, she will get a form to fill out and you don't want her thinking that just because he is doing ok - that he is ok.
Yes for sure. His teacher and i do comminicate lots. We met last week and it has made me decide that i do need to take it farther. She told me he has panic attacks if he's feeling like he might not get his assignments done or something. And his severe lack of focus. I called our local specialist yesterday and left a message. He was referred a while ago to her but hevwas still doing so well in school i decided not to persue it. It's time now
Yep, I agree with you. Let me know if you need any more info. Good Luck!