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5 yr old with add/adhd

My son goes to a Catholic School where he is in kind. and his teacher is saying he needs to see a doctor and get on meds for his attention problem(sometime wandering in space). He has all a's and b's and knows everything being thrown his way, so to me it seems he must be paying a little attention to accomplish that much. I personally would feel worse if my child did not drift off or daydream(isn't that what kids do?) but his teacher keeps harping on us to get him to a doctor. I know all parents think their children are the best but when i am telling you guys that I dont think you could possibly find a better child except for this problem, I mean it. This teacher recently told my wife at a PTC that she has to tap on his desk with a ruler to get his attention and that he WOULD NOT PASS first grade next year if this was not corrected. I have heard on these forums that some doctors do not like to test children before age 7 for this b/c of mis-diagnoses, Can you believe her? FAIL? Tell me who's wrong or what to do? Guide me. TY.
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Avatar universal
Had a psychologist give him a $4k test today.  Nothing wrong other than his asthma meds having the side affects they do.  Thank you all for your input.
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334998 tn?1197944753
Hi,

Getting him to a doctor wouldn't hurt, just to see what the doctor says. Of course, it should be the doctor of your choice, one who has experience with children, and who is NOT affiliated with this school. I don't know about the whole, 'you have to be 7-yrs old thing,' but if all we are doing is talking about observation, then certainly there are gifted professionals who can observe, interact with, and speak with your son as well as you and your wife. Because conversation with a professonal child psychiatrist or psychologist, who is outside the school system (don't go to any physician that they have recommended), is what is needed. For the moment, it's about collecting info for yourself and maybe even getting a second opinion, once you've gotten the first one. Also, Catholic schools are often about control and control could be this teacher's issue; after all, you can't control daydreams. Maybe your son needs to be at a school that can accommodate and value his way of being. Is he in this particular school for a reason? Is he your only child in this school? Are there other children in your family who have attended this school and thrived? Can you look into other options in terms of schooling -- whether it's public, private, charter, or even Montessori... (I know Montessori can be expensive, just throwing out suggestions.) This could all be a simple case of... BOREDOM. Or, a teacher wth issues. You know your son, how is he at home? Is there a way to observe him in class to see what you feel about his behavior? Whatever you do, don't act out of fear and don't act hastily; just go after answers aggressively, yet enact solutions carefully. Again, it may just be the school.
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322138 tn?1306243134
When I was very young, I did have problems that you say your boy has - my teacher in pre school had thought I had severe problems, I remember her giving me letters to give to my mother when I get back home a few times, I remember my mother getting concerned once over this and telling my father that I do get home with my uniform dirtied and I often lost watter bottles, lunch boxes, pencils etc and him replying that he's just a kid. The next year in school in 1st grade, on the first day of school in the middle of a class when the teacher went out for some reason, I escaped from the school to a nearby garden and then was planning my return home when the teachers came and got hold of me and took me to class, I remember this one very vividly.  That year this teacher had called my parents to school at least 4 times to complain, but I did pass with quite excellent grades because on the open day, I reme,ber my mom saying to my dad "she, how I told you she was wrong",
I used to get in trouble more than other kids I remember after all these years, I was doing addition/subtraction mentally when they wanted us kids to draw balls and sqaures for counting, so she told me it had to be done the other way and I did it.

Then the next year, I remember this one small episode where I the class teacher how much each of us scored in a 25 marks class test and when she returned me my paper in which I had scored 23 if I remember, she said "yes, keep on copying this way and you will make it" when I genuinely hadn't. But anyway, in higher classes which called for more organization, planning in studying, etc, my performance did go down and college was a big disaster for me, I just didn't get organized enough to go through it well and always only picked up the books maximum a day or two before exams and of course now I know that I do have ADD which definitely played a part in my poor academic performance in higher classes, right now, your boy is too young, just make sure that you help him out with his school work and that he's learning everything and passes his classes. But it would be best if when he's 10-11,  you do get him checked out for Attention defecit because if he really has ADD then it will save him and you a lot of frsutration in later years ...
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313143 tn?1239382879
If his only symptom is daydreaming, I would honestly be quite hesitant to treat him with stimulants.  Especially in light of his academic successes.  I would recommend creating some worksheets on his academic level, and observing him in a quiet environment.  Is his day dreaming really disruptive?

Another test would be to observe him during normal play, or while watching television.  Periodically throughout the day, you may also want to see how difficult it is to get his attention.

One thing that is concerning about daydreaming with no other attention deficit symptoms, is the possibility of epilepsy.  He could be having absence seizures, which normally look like brief staring episodes.

Just to be sure, he should probably be evaluated by his pediatrician.  If no formal diagnosis comes from your meeting, then I would simply keep an eye out for future attention problems.  Keep close tabs on his grades, and when he is older you can ask him about his ability to concentrate.  Good luck.

`Kestra
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