ADD, something else, or worse?

[LovemyChirlden]

I'm wondering if any of you would have any idea why my son is the way he is:
When he was 6 months he didn't react when my wife cried or I cried. He has always seemed a little distracted.  He will spend 30 minutes playing with something if he likes it... but if he doesn't he will spend 15 seconds, and then move on (sometimes less than that).  Our Pediatrician was a little concerened about eye contact when he was 2, but now that he is 2 1/2 she says it's better.  She said that they want to keep an eye on him as well since he had some difficulty staying and completing things that she was trying to have him do (color, stack blocks, etc...).
He is in daycare, and the teachers say that he likes to go off and play by himself.
We went to a speach therapist, and she said his speach is doing well, but he does use his own name sometimes rather than I/me, and he seems distractible (he saw her when he was 2y-3months old).
He usually doesn't say hello when we come home, or come and hug us(sometimes says "no want daddy here")
Half of the time he won't follow our instructions(but he hears us, just doesn't want to do it), and the other half of the time he will do what we tell him.  If he is playing, he will sometimes sit in our lap, but not cuddle, unless a kids show is on tv, and then he cuddles with us.

Any thoughts?  My wife and I are so worried.

[Sandman2]

   As Dollyn said, "not all kids are the same."  Sometimes it just being kids.  Sometimes it is something like ADHD, ADD, or Autism and the list goes on.  The important thing is that some things like autism have a much better chance of being treated if it is spotted early.  For ther things like ADHD early intervention is not as important.  And of course, some things just depend on good parenting skills to fix the problem.
  If your daycare teacher is experienced (has dealt with kids for a number of years), then she may have a decent perspective of what is normal or not.  So that is a good starting point.  Its good that your pediatrician wants to keep an eye on him.  Maybe more frequent visits?  If both your daycare teacher and Pediatrician feel that there is a problem don't feel bad about getting more professional help.

[benjimom]

I think he is too young to have ADHD/ADD.  He would need ot be older and he does not sound like that. I would bring it up to the pediatrician, hif you are really concerned most cities have some kind of early intervention program where you can take him to be screened by a team of professionals.  We had my son done when he was 18 mos due to no talking.  My son did not talk until after age three, so we were glad to have early intervention!

[specialmom]

I was wondering how things are going with your son?

[specialmom]

Just wanted to say, don't get discouraged!

[specialmom]

Well, thank you for the clarification.  I agree that there are a multitude of personalities out there in our children and there shouldn't be a one size fits all approach to handling them.  Bad behavior, impulsive, lack of focas, etc.   . . . well, they must have adhd, everyone says.  It is definately not always the case.  However, there are cases in which some children do have adhd and medication has helped them tremendously.  But that isn't going to be the case for all.  I have a child myself that displayed things that some would say were adhd like symptoms.  But he does not have adhd.  He has sensory integration disorder which also affects the nervous system like add/adhd and can look similar.  My child has never been on drugs but improved all around with occupational therapy.  I would hate to put him on medication, myself.  I think it should be a last resort.  

I don't blame parents for trying to understand their child better.  To try to understand if it is a disorder that they suffer from or if it is just the unique make up of their kid or both.  I think add/adhd is over diagnosed because of that one size fits all approach to handling kids.  That is what I would like to see changed.  But I do not think someone is a bad parent for looking into add/adhd to explain why their child is struggling.  

I addressed the issues with my child not for my own vanity or to make my life easier but because he was crying out for help.  I think it is compassionate to assume that many parents are doing the same thing.  I like to offer suggestions of other things they may look into as well and support their efforts to understand their kids.  This is just my opinion, of course.  

Thank you for clarifying the blood work and testing, and yes that is good to  know if Fragile X or something else is going on.  

[dollyn]

I know blood work and EEG,MRI  wont show ADD or ADHD.

It can show if there is something going on in the brain ,Because not everything can be seen .Blood work can show if blood levels are not normal in some area's and there is also a blood test that can show you if the person has . Fragile X Syndrome is diagnosed with a simple blood test, called the FMR-1 gene test. This is the only accurate way a diagnosis can be mad.

Causes of Fragile X Syndrome
Fragile X Syndrome occurs when a certain gene (FMR-1) mutates or changes. The FMR-1 gene mutates by expanding or repeating certain chemical components of DNA (CGG). Everyone has the FMR-1 gene, but whereas the general population has between 5 and 40 repeats, carriers of FXS have between 55 and 200 repeats. This is called the premutation stage. Individuals with the full mutation have over 200 repeats. The full mutation causes the FMR-1 gene to turn off. That means the FMR-1 gene is not working properly and not producing the protein it is supposed to. This protein is crucial to intellectual development and functioning.

I am so sick of the fact that some people believe that if a person doesn't act the way they think they should that they have ADD or ADHD. There are people misdiagnosed and being treated with drugs that can hurt them mentally and physically and has even killed people.  So what if your child doesn't learn as fast as others or acts out in School and the School Teacher can't handle it,that is there job, they shouldn't get into teaching if they can't handle it.Not every child is going to sit and be easy to teach.we all learn in different way's.It is our job as Parents to keep out children safe and to do our home work when it comes to our children and to look at the full picture.

Like are other kids picking on them, are there two parents at home,what do they see at home,meaning children will repeat what they see at home or at other places.Are kids have much more stress put on them these day's.  How much time do we really spend with our children and each other because now days it takes two people working  and kids are with others more than they are at home.

There is no way to prove a person has ADD or ADHD  yet  we treat them for it.With out looking at everything else that is going on.

When a mother cares her child for 9month's she dose everything she can to keep her child safe from drugs, why because she worry's about the side effects the drugs have on the baby. but once the baby is here than it seems to be safe to give them the drugs . Doesn't make any seance dose it.We should be looking out to keep them safe there hole life not short term. I would rather have my son hipper and being off the wall and having a hard time learning, than having the Seizures that my son has now, and not knowing if and when he will go home to be with God. I live with guilt every day of my life and wouldn't want that on any one and for any child to go threw what my son has had to go threw.If I new what I know now ,I would have had the Doctors check everything before I put my son on these drugs.And I still wouldn't give him the drugs. I would have to tell a lot of people off ,but it is my job to fight for my children they don;t have a voice in the matter.And if people don't like the way your child is then to bad for them. At least you know you are not harming there brain and other body parts with the drugs.

Over all I say educate our self and keep our children safe,and do home work because we are all they have to fight for them.

[allmymarbles]

The problem with small families is that, being inexperienced, the parents tend to fixate on every aspect of the child's behavior. Enjoy your son. He is only two and a half years old, a delightful period that ends all too quickly.

[specialmom]

While I don't disagree that one should not jump the gun and go after an add/adhd diagnosis and that caution should be used in determining if a child has it . . . I wanted to ask you about blood work and mri's (as well as ekg's which I am not sure what relavence that would have).  It is my understanding that there is no blood test for add/adhd and that an mri wouldn't necessarily show it.  I was wondering if you can clarify what you are speaking of.  Thanks.

[dollyn]

I think you are over reacting. And that your son is fine and will be fine. not all children are the same.

if they do blood work and check his brain by doing an mri and a eeg and they find nothing ,then I would wait and see what happens.   I wouldn't want to push drugs on to my young child if he doesn't need them and the side effects are not worth it.   This is if you really think there is something wrong.

I would just give him love and be glad that god gave him to you .