ADD and church

[janny108]

Ashley (13) stopped going to church earlier this year. Now we had doubts about that church too and left. We found a smaller church but haven't yet talked to her about it. She says she does not like one church which is fairly large. I wonder if that is an issue with ADD kids?Or is it because she is 13?

[allmymarbles]

Have you asked her if she has lost her faith? Something in her life has changed.

[janny108]

We are all born atheists yet God made us all equally. She got baptized and went to church until recently.

[allmymarbles]

There is something we are forgetting here. Some people are born atheists. They often do not realize it until puberty. I am not saying that is true in this case, but what I notice is that everyone on this forum, so far, takes belief for granted. Therein lies an error.

[the_dude515]

hello I just got back from a session with a therapist I'm seeing. It was mostly a reminder of a lot of stuff I had picked up over the years myself.

I can very much relate to this issue, and I see some suggestions that I would agree with and some I wouldn't. Church can be a good experience in some cases, but in other cases not. The deciding factor is what 'flavor' was created for this 'sect' and how does that impact the experience.

  How this affects someone with ADHD is they come to church and they feel inspired to make permanent changes, but they end up not doing them cause they are ADHD, and coming back to the Church is a reminder of their failure. So at that age, the church which may have become a beacon of reminder of her failure is a place she wishes to rebel against.

  

[Sandman2]

   Its too the son.  I don't know enough about your daughter to have made that suggestion.  But I will say that church was always a quiet place to me which I enjoyed.  So I did wonder if maybe the style of worship made a difference?   And I agree with all mymarbles, I don't think ADD has that much to do with it.  For a child with ADHD, yes - it could be very uncomfortable having to sit that long.

[allmymarbles]

She may be avoiding church altogether and is inventing objections. Not everyone is religious and it is during puberty that one begins to make adult decisions. I don't see that it has anything to do with ADD.

[janny108]

Is this for the daughter or the son in this post?

[Sandman2]

     Reading your post - your son has a lot of the symptoms of Sensory Integration disorder.  SIDS looks a lot like ADHD, but is handled in a very different way - and without meds.  Check out the bottom post in this link for a feeling what it looks like in kids - and if it looks possible, google it for more info.     http://www.rxlist.com/attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder_adhd/article.htm#tocb

[kh4otickitt3n]

My son is 12 and doesn't like large busy rooms, buildings or wide open spaces. He gets all out of sorts and cant sit still, wont eat or drink and feels overwhelmed, and stressed.  My son is ADHD  or maybe he just suffers from anxiety - I suppose in busy open area's I try my best to just clutch him and keep him close to me when he feels "weird" about such environments. I don't forces him to accept anything he doesn't want to accept.

As for your daughter, just talk to her, and listen to her when she speaks. Most kids don't talk in code, if she  doesn't like it because it was too big, then understand the church was too big. Try a smaller church maybe she might take to it or maybe she might just be going threw puberty and is rejecting everything she is accustom to and  just doesn't want to go to church for a bit. Listen to her, she will be honest with you if you are open to what she has to say.

[Sandman2]

   Or it could be because of the church.  You really won't know till you talk to her about it.