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My son has something wrong...He is now 6 and I noticed signs at age 3. He has been diagnosed with ADHD by a doctor who sat with him for 30 min and then wanted to assign him medication. I believe my son does have ADHD, coupled with other things, but I struggled as a mom to put my son on medicine at age 5. We all can't deny the side effects of ADHD/ADD treating medicines and it is fact they accurately work for only a few years before having to switch to new ones. My son is five and then would have to take them for the remainder of his school years. I struggled, A-L-O-T. We tried the all natural diet, who has been deemed very effective by those who stick to the diet. I, however; was not disciplined enough. He is now 6, stealing obsessively, already had after school in K in the first half of the year. The school is wonderful and has been working with me. I have researched every facet of ADHD and I am still do not have a peace about medicine. I will next try the vitamin supplements as I have just read a wonderful book outlining the pros of using such. It is a difficult decision either way, but meds will be my last resort. I am trying and that is what matters.
We knew from a very early age that my son had ADHD. We used to joke that he skipped walking and crawling and starting running at 8 months old. It took about a year after that to realize our son was different. That normal discipline would not work for him. From the early talks of diagnosing him with ADHD we swore we would never EVER put him on ADHD meds. Even after being kicked out of 3 daycares for his hyper-activeness (1 only took 4 days to kick him out) we still swore we would never put him on meds no matter how bad it got.
We tried everything, literally everything. Including but not limited to the following:
We tried food allergy testing to see if that was the cause of his behavior. We had him on a 100% completely organic diet (I even made his own ketchup!). Although he isn’t on a 100% organic diet anymore (it didn't help) he still doesn't eat junk food & no sugar at all (Just special occasions like his b-day or holidays) We've tried about 30 different discipline/reward systems which took reading over 20 ADHD books to help. We even tried pops but read they don’t help with ADHD and we saw that for ourselves. We’ve done herbal remedies & vitamins. We are very active in our church, the positive Christian influence never helped. He has seen a psychologist for a year. We have seen a psychologist to see if there is anything we were doing wrong. After the last time he was kicked out of daycare (@ 4) we even had him officially diagnosed with ADHD in order to get him enrolled in the pre-k Special Education Program with his school district on a learning disability (because at all of the daycares he was kicked out of they would always say "he isn’t only hurting the education of himself but the education of the other students") We needed to get him help to get accustomed to a class room setting since no daycare would take the time or effort to help him and we didn't want to throw him into kindergarten like throwing him to the wolves without any skills to help him succeed. We have even tried methods of occupational therapy. Through all of this we have showered him with love and affection. ALL to no avail.
He is now 6 and 3 days ago we finally had to put him on medicine.
And let me tell you, I get quite upset reading comments like TudaA81’s that “A lot of the ‘problems' parents encounter are from their own lacking Parenting skills”
Anyone who has seen what we have gone through and the lengths we have gone to get help our son would never say we lack parenting skills.
This was the single hardest decision of my life. I’ll briefly explain the events that lead to our decision.
All his life he’s been a very affectionate, sweet, helpful child- he just couldn’t listen, remain still and mainly control his impulses. The special ed program had started to help. He had a tolerable 1st semester in kindergarten and was actually moved to main stream classes. He was still getting in trouble but nothing like before. Every day we would discuss his daily report and everything he was doing wrong. He would be punished for his bad behavior. Nothing out of the ordinary. A month ago something happened to him. He changed almost overnight. He became angry, defiant, violent, and uncontrollable at home, at church, at his before and after school daycare, at school. We were being called out of service at church to take him home (they have been with him since he was 2 months old and have always been very supportive; they have never asked us to take him home before) He was threatening us and talking back and you could just see the venom and anger is his eyes. The daycare was threatening to remove him (again!)He was losing friends for lashing out in anger. The teacher was emailing me and asking what was wrong with him. He was being sent to in school suspension, sitting out at recess and having silent lunches. He even threatened a kid that he would bring a knife to school because a kid wouldn’t be his friend anymore. MY SWEET 6 YEAR OLD BOY SAYING HE WOULD BRING A KNIFE TO SCHOOL?!?! WHAT WAS WRONG?!?!
We set up an earlier emergency session with his psychologist (which he goes to weekly) and we would meet with the psychologist the next day to hear the results. After meeting with our son she said that his self esteem had hit rock bottom. He literally hates himself. He has been in trouble so much for so long (at least once every day since he was about a year old) that he felt the label of “the bad kid” had been placed on him and he was living up to that label. He realized he could not control his behavior so he had given up trying completely.
Throughout all of this no one, not the school, daycare, teacher, special ed educator, school diagnostician, psychologist, pediatrician, NO ONE, told us to put him on medicine. We were the ones to finally ask if we needed to consider it.
We realized our son’s quality of life was bad because he was always in trouble and felt like everyone hated him. He even realized he couldn’t control himself. He told me one day last week that he wished he was sick again (he had just gotten over a sinus infection) because he said that the sickness MADE him slow down and therefore he could make better choices. How sad is that. My 6 year old realized that he could not physically make good choices, despite all the help he has been given, unless something MADE him slow down. We had never even told him about medicine that might help, yet he realized the need for “something.”
I will forever hate that I had to resort to medicine. Not because I feel like a failure as a parent because God knows I have tried, but because of the health reasons which I am fully aware of.
I feel that my job as a Christian parent is to raise my child right, give him the tools and guidance, that will stay with him throughout his life, in order to make good Christian choices and in doing so prepare him for an eternity with Christ. I came to the conclusion that my son was not physically able to use the tools and guidance we have given him to make good choices. He needed help. It was to a point that we were doing our son a disservice by knowing there was something to help him and not trying it. If my 6 year old was as angry as he was at 6, I could only imagine how lost he would be by the time he becomes a teenager. We were fast approaching a point of no return for him. We couldn’t allow that.
A brief description about the effect of the medicine so far:
My son is on 30mg of Vyvanse. The difference has been day & night. This past weekend was the 1st weekend I can EVER remember that our family was not angry w/ each other. There was so much love & affection it felt amazing! He was explaining “the rules” to my daughter all day, when in the past he was the one breaking the rules. It was as if he retained everything we taught him, but was unable to follow those rules.
Now the 1st day he was a little emotional, talked non-stop and didn’t feel like eating. He didn’t sleep well that night either. We have watched him like a hawk & allowed him to sleep with me and my husband to monitor him. The 2nd he didn’t talk non-stop, was not emotional and slept well. Today, the only issue we have is still the lack of appetite. We got a call from the daycare today just to say how well he is doing!!! I usually get a daily call from the daycare but it has always been a bad report. Wow…a call just to say how amazing MY child has been? It feels great, but I am not without concern. I still worry about him and always will.
I took all this to say, parents, never give up on your children. You are their biggest advocate. I would definitely prefer not to have him on medicine, but I have weighed every single other option imaginable before I made this choice. Don’t let doctors, teachers, and people on blogs who have no clue what we are going through dictate your decisions about your child. I pray for everyone raising children w/ this VERY REAL disorder. God bless & I hope I have helped some of you.
Wow! An amazing report. The time, effort, and love behind it is very evident.
I think you did it right. There was no easy way out for you. You tried it all. My only advice to you would be to make sure that as your son ages, he is fully aware of what he is up against. With your love, and support he will have a rewarding life.
And if you don't mind - I will bookmark your response so months from now I can use it if other parents have questions. Best Wishes!
you probably dont even read comments anymore it has been so long ago. but it just found this thread. my 12 year old son was the same way, sweetes, tenderhearted, but he had trouble concentrating at school, and was making poor grades, thing was his father was like that when he as in shcool, took no meds and ended up fine. there is a reason i put that. so now he has been on meds two months. he is aggressiive, if he hears the word no he goes insane, I know how panic attacks are because i have them and the other night i thought he was having one, never had one before,, he was begging for me to make it stop, make it stop, i couldnt help him at all... so from now on there will not be ONE MORE PILL TAKEN BY HIM IN THIS HOUSE.....NOT ONE MORE.. thanks for your story and i truly hope everything has turned out for the best.
so many people don't relize that Seizures can look like add and adhd. Befor putting your child on these very strong drugs . you should get an eeg done to make sure everything in there brain is working right.
people who have seizures have a hard time learn and can act out and don't have any control over it. there are 30 different kinds of seizures .some people who have seizures look like they are being lazy or day dreaming but they are not .they are having an absent seizure .
You are doing the right thing keeping your child off of meds. My parents put me on ADHD meds at 6 years old. I was on them for years and it ruined my life. You can read my story here on my website: ritalinawareness.com. Prescription stimulants lead to permanent depression, anxiety, OCD, and other mental health problems. They give ADD kids more problems than just ADD. There are many alternatives / supplements, etc, that you can use to combat ADD symptoms. Best of luck to you. Your child will thank you in the years to come for the decision you have made on her behalf. Please spread the word about these horrible drugs. If you read my story please tell others about my story and my website. We have to work as a community to keep kids safe from these toxins.
My parents put me on Ritalin when I was 6, and it ruined my life. I am now 26 and I cannot work because of the disabling treatment-resistant depression and fatigue that I have as a result of being on the drug for years. ADD drugs are not a solution, they are a quick fix. They do work which is why people use them, but when they stop working your child will be left with not only ADD but depression, too. That is what happened to me, and I am not alone. I am finding more and more people to whom this has happened. This is because Ritalin and other stimulant ADD drugs (Concerta, Adderall, Vyvanse, Dexadrine, etc) work on the dopamine system which is not only responsible for attention but pleasure, too. The drug has the same mechanism of action as cocaine and the result of long-term use is the same. The drug works for a while and then the person develops a tolerance to the drug and more is needed to achieve the same result. Then the person cannot even feel pleasure without the drug. And finally even the drug doesn't do much to alleviate the person's depression because the dopamine system has been too disrupted. And that is where I am now. I cannot feel pleasure. I resent the fact that I am even still alive, but I have chosen to keep living so that I can warn parents like you about these medications. I would rather be a school drop-out than live the way that I live now. At least as a school drop-out I would be able to enjoy being alive. Maybe I wouldn't have a great job, but I would at least be able to work and feel pleasure in life. Many ADD kids can become successful adults without medication. They just have to find their niche. I know many people who did not take meds who are thriving in the life paths that they have chosen. Please visit my website www.ritalinawareness.com and read my story and the research that I have presented on how long-term prescription stimulant use can lead to depression. You can also read about alternatives to medication on my site. There are so many supplements and other brain-training activities that can work for ADD. It's not too late to save your child from a life time of mental illness because of these drugs.
My daughter was diagnosed adhd years ago. They put her on meds.they changed them several times within a year and a half the meds made her aggresive and assultive. I took her off the meds. She is now diagnosed with bi polar disorder which they now say was what was truly. Wrong with her the whole time. Just miss diagnosed. They say it is a common mistake. She is now on meds for her new. Diagnosis and she is becomeing normal. All these meds can be dangerous though. We had a servear allergic reaction from her geodon. She thought she was going to die and her whole body spasmed up and she became stiff like a dead body. This tramatized her and she was scared to go to sleep, but her new meds are way better.
I have a 5yr daughter who has adhd ,add
& altistic and her dr wants to put her
Om meds for it but I won't allow it & the dr said I'm neglectin my child
But I have been on adderall 20 mg 3x a day for 13 yrs of my life and I will b
Damned if I would ever put my 5 year
Old baby threw something like this !!
Now plz don't get me wrong she is a
DEVIL child lol..I have dun alotta
Resurch on add & adhd & austisum for
My daughter because she's only 5 & I know there has got to b another soloution beside drugs so I went to
Barnes & knoble and I have found the
Most life saing book !! Its by jenny
Mccartney "the cure to adhd &
Austism !! It is the best book it tells
You how to fix the promblem wid out meds iits a 32 chapter book it took me 1 day
To read it frount to back I culdnt
Take my eyes outa it !! I have learned so much & belive it or not it helps soo
Much I'm so thankful I did reasearch
Before I took the meds frm the doctor she is finally stating to act like my bababy again wid out any meds !! I hope yu could get this book & lean a lot from
It !! I wish yu the best of luck
I took my daughter off of her meds about 6 weeks ago because of the same issues. I recently had school conferences with her teacher and we were discussing that her grades have been effected some and that she was more talkative and having more drama at school and I informed the teacher that we as a family had decided to take her off the meds for her sake because of the mood swings the crying and her drowsiness. This morning I had child protective services at my house saying I was neglecting my child by taking her off the meds is this true? Is that legal? I as a parent know my child she is not hyper and off the meds is a great kid who is very happy any questions or comments on this matter please help me????
Wow, that's a first. Never heard of that before. Of course, your comment to protective services should be, exactly the opposite. You are protecting her from what sounds like an over dose of meds. I wonder if the school principal knows about the visit. I think that legally if the school is trying to say that she should be on meds then they would have to supply a competent doctor and the meds (which no school in their right mind would do). I think you could make them back down very quickly.
I do wonder if you had mentioned the mood swings and drowsiness to your doctor? The meds really should not have been doing that. How old is your daughter by the way and how long was she on the meds?
By the way, an excellent book that I recommend on this forum alot is, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley. I think you will find it useful because it gives you lots of ways to help your child (non med wise). Also it sounds like you will want to get her on a 504 plan to protect her in school. The book gives lots of good info on that. Please post if you have any more questions.
Gosh I am so sorry you are being put through this I have just reread this thread from 3 years ago and I still have the same opinion, children should not be placed on these mind altering drugs with horrendous side effects .I cannot believe that control is being taken away from parents like this , you have to stand up to them do not comply ask your Doctor to become involved .This over emphasis on children taking these drugs should be stopped its appaling ..
Could you let us know what happened with the CPS ?
I agree with you the doctors are quick to drug our children up. Or diagnose them with something. My daughter is having issues so I took her to see a therapist. I told him from the door I do not want to put my daughter on any meds because the outcome is far more worst than before the drug... They end up with other symptoms leading the doctors to want to perscribe something else. Then when you try and get them off of the meds they have new izsues that wont go away. A drs job is to keep you coming back. Im just going to change my baby's diet! Sorry to hear what they are doing to your baby!!!
Hopefully, the diet will work for you. However if it doesn't - there is a lot that still can be done to help your child (depending on what is wrong). Information is what you need and I can suggest a lot of sources that can be helpful. Please feel free to post if things don't get better.
by the way, while diet changes usually don't work out too well. Night time sleep changes can make a big difference.
Diagnosing ADD/ADHD is not just a simple task. If you have a good doc they will explore other avenues first. Not all behavioral/ attention probelms are add/adhd. Several doctor visits then a behavioral specialist is called in. It takes several visits that is over an hour long each time to discuss everything. Then, a teacher along with a parent/s have to fill out a sheet that is veral pages long. They look at the overall so a parent just cant say hey I want my kid on drugs. Do i want my child on drugs? well of course not but in the long run that was what helped him pay attention in class & calm down plus it acually helped. However we decided to try the patch first. Daytrana 10 mg & it was amazing how well he did on it. From August to Febuary he was on a daily patch but he nearly stopped eating altogether. He got sick, he lost so much weight & not only that the patch leaves these HORRIBLE red blotches on him where it looked almost like he had a severe sun burn look. So we decided to stop the patch all together. He is back to the old Noah we all know before except not eating right for that long has caused issues in his eating habbits that we still are working with. Not all docs are bad & with that said Not all kids that take the meds end up like this womans child. Now as a parent i am not ready to just jump to another medication as of yet. He is a month free of any meds except his daily albuterol treatments for his asthma. Medicine is tricky. Some work/ some dont. Is a medication worth risking my sons overall health.. nope but I still believe there is hope & maybe some patience on my part.. ty have a nice day
Oh yes & btw doctor never explained to us that depending on the childs temp of body is how much meds are going into his body. Thus when he played outside & his body got hot & sweaty it delivered too much medication into his system. Its not a wonderful thing to see when a child basiclly ODed just simply bc he was playing on the monkey bars with his friends. Those symtoms are easy to see. Ticking of the neck, lots of blinking of they eye & constant tounge thrusts. Looks just like a tweeker high on drugs. So yes there is good with the drugs & bad. My childs bad reactions out weighed his good. also another thing is its not good to just change to another medication so quick. Its not a pain drug, its behavioral & i believe just in my own opinion that she switched too many meds without her child having any drug free days in between. that can mess a child up.
ok i just turned 15 years old i was diagnosed woth adhd wen i was about 5 they put me on some meds that made me a complete zombie i mean i didnt want to do any thing i have been on my pills in years and im doin just fine my grades teeter toter but thats normale in high school kids
thats pretty typical for someone who has been over dosed. Unfortunately, your parents (or teachers) didn't clue in your doctor (or they did and he was an idot). Anyway, that should not have happened. Glad to hear that you are hanging in there. Do you have a 504 to help you in school?
My daughter is on vyvanse and she lost all of her hair. I feel like I am helpless. I do not know what to do. I do not want to drug her then on the other hand she says she can focus when she takes the drug. She is bold now what should I do. Get good grades in what cause???
How did she lose her hair? is she pulling it out?? Some anxiety can cause such a situation and I'd talk to your prescribing physician about it.
Interesting, I did not know there would be a connection. Did some research and apparently about 1.6% of V users have reported a hair loss. Thats a pretty small percent, but does mean that it is possible.
However, I agree with specialmom in looking at anxiety or is she on any other kind of medication.
To drug or not to drug? Are we looking at things from the wrong direction? It seems to me that our concern is more with teachers, schools, parental burden, etc., rather than the child itself. Leaving aside those children who are physically or mentally damaged in some way, perfectly normal children can be very difficult to bring up. They take up more than their fair share of time and can be very mischievous, or stubborn, or poor students, or contrary, or over emotional, or demanding. But grow up they do. And sometimes these difficult children turn out to be the most interesting kids in the family. To label them and mess with their chemistry in their early formative years can distort their natures and cause permanent physical and emotional damage.
Some kids function much better and are happier when they take medication to correct an issue. That is important to consider when choosing medication for your child. good luck to all that make this decision to do what is best for your child.
Labeling my child was the smartest thing I've ever done for him as it allowed him to get help he needs in order to feel better about himself, do the things he himself wants to do, to be more content.
Very happy we took the route of intervention. good luck to parents that struggle with these issues.
"Labeling" has such a bad taste to it. I believe that to help a child you have to understand what the problem is - other wise you are trying to change a behavior by using the wrong methods. And I think that the kids that wind up being messed up are because no one understood what their problem was and consequently really messed them up by taking the wrong kind of actions.
And by the way, studies have shown the children who were not medicated were much more likely to "self medicate" (do drugs, etc) when they got older. Of course, this is usually because those kids got no help or the wrong kind of help growing up. So I think we might all agree that how you work with the child is the most important thing. And because all kids and their environments are different - its not good to generalize on what may or may not work.
Wisdom is not automatically conferred on a psychologist. It is a gift randomly bestowed. Yes, there are wise psychologists, but there are also wise mothers. A wise mother who understands her children may feel no need to seek professional help for something she can best handle herself.
I agree with you. But where it gets tough is when the wise mother is no longer the person in control of her child's daily life - ie. the child enters the school system.
I don't understand. Are you suggesting that the school system is primary in the upbringing of a child?
Not at all! But its been my experience that some/many parents let the school system take over their function.
Also, in thinking about my last post to you. I should have added that the "wise" parent seldom posts on this web site. The wise parent has done their homework and usually does not need the help we offer. Hence the typical poster is posting because they lack the information to make good decisions.
I agree with you. However, I do not think the school should be allowed to involve itself in a speciality it is not trained for. An uninformed parent might well look up to the school as having a competence it does not possess.
That is not to say that there are not wise and caring teachers who offer excellent advice to a parent on a one-to-one basis. It is that involvement that has always been valuable and more than welcome. The difficulty lies in the school now acting as a conduit to medical treatment, and this is becoming institutionalized. It can be damaging and I suspect accounts in part for over-diagnosis.
Not sure if you are aware that in October 2011, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released new clinical practice guidelines for the diagnosis, evaluation, and treatment of ADHD. It can be found here http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/suppl/2011/10/11/peds.2011-2654.DC1/zpe611117822p.pdf
And a recap in more easy to understand terms is here -http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/759086?src=nl_topic
The point is that nowhere do schools get to diagnosis kids. Yes, they can (and usually are) involved in the assessment by the psyc. And many times (or most of the time) they are the ones that recommend the parents seek more help. But diagnosis and medication can only be done by a doctor. And even then, parents always have the ultimate decision to make.
But yes, you are correct in that schools are a conduct (if that term is used correctly?) to medical treatment. But since a child must have the symptoms in two or more places to be diagnosed by the doctor, they kind of have to be involved by default.
The fact is that the school can make its own preliminary evaluation and can pressure the parent to have the child evaluated by a professional. The less educated (but far from stupid) parents are in fear of this interference and don't know how to protect themselves. They know their rights but are afraid that exercising them will result in serious problems. Rational or not, they fear charges of neglect. I know this for a fact because some have come to me for help.
I never meant to suggest that the school can authorize medication or therapy. But once directed to professionals the child may be subjected to over-doctoring and over-medicating. We are back to the subject of wisdom. Not all professionals are wise. And some are greedy.
I think schools and teachers are in such an excellent position to help families understand when their child's behavior isn't within normal limits. It was a teacher that directed us to my own son's delays that I wasn't fully aware of as he was my first child and it is hard to be objective about your own children. I'm forever grateful to that teacher!! We've written her a thank you letter for it was she who started us on the journey of helping our son with the things HE wanted to do. (One, was to simply fit in with his peers).
Teachers are in a unique position to look at groups of children and see where there is a consistent pattern of struggle. So wonderful to start intervention for these kids so that they can be successful. Tweaks here and there can make a HUGE difference.
I feel for parents that face the choice of medication or not. I personally know so many kids that thrive and are genuinely happier once their families started medication for their medical diagnosis of add/adhd--- that I think it is a great thing to do when the situation warrents it. Never would I enter into that lightly and would have all the facts first. But I also wouldn't ever let fear or shame stop me from doing what is in the best interest of my child.
Parents who read this, please know that intervention and accepting the issus my child had helped us help him. luck to all
angelinmarina, you should note that diet is often found to have a lot to do with these matters. To dismiss this based on your own experiences and biases is not a contribution to this discussion. People here seem interested in ideas beyond what doctors are often too quick to diagnose as a mental disease requiring drugs while their young brains are still developing. Sure, it would be hard to feed your family differently, but some people would try that first before accepting a ADD (or bipolar) diagnosis. At a minimum, doesn't it seem reasonable to try diet and other potential environmental changes before resorting to drugs as the first course of action? Of course it is.
Thank you for your post. I have a 10 yr old that has ADD,ADHD, ODD, torrets, and is dis graphic or so I have been told. She has seen 2 specialist. She has been on Concerta now for about a year. First few months it done her great with everything. Now it seems like she is not doing very well in school anymore, focus attention is not the best, and is mad all the time and takes it out on me. So with trying everything from diets to structure I am at my wits end. She is such a loveable child I really can't stand seeing her go through this. So I am going to really look in to this Tenex...I hope it works thank you
I'm sorry if this offends anyone, however, I am an actually person with ADHD and trust me the medications help. I'm not saying you should be totally dependent on them, but if it weren't for my medication, I wouldn't have done my homework in high school not here in college, I wouldn't have put in the extra time and effort to train to become 1st singles on my tennis team, and, again if this offends you, but unless your the one you needs the extra help, please don't complain. It is hard enough without someone, even if not intentionally, saying that we make the lives of others harder. Also for ADHD you cant just rely on the medication to do everything!
Thank you so much for saying this. I am someone who has ADHD and although I agree we can sometimes be a handful, most people don't truly consider how we must be feeling. We feel dumb in school because it takes us longer to do the work than the other kids, at home we feel like such disappointments to our parents, and I for one sometimes feel left out with my friends because I'm so scared of blurting out the wrong thing that I just don't say anything at all.
Thanks for your post. It is so important to hear from people who are dealing with or coping with ADHD. Please keep posting and stay in touch. And certainly let me know if you ever have any questions about dealing with ADHD. I know of several sites that deal more with adults and their problems, which can be quite helpful!
Both my sons were diagnosed with ADHD by their teachers. The doctors said they didnt have it and the teachers sent us back and said tell the doctor I said he is "running like a motor"
And that same day we left with prescriptions for drugs.
YES they sure are Diagnosing
The problem was not the teachers, but the doctor who did not follow the clinical guidelines for adhd. My guess is he also gave the meds with no advice on how to tell if it was effective or even dealing with this " adhd".
If you need any more info please ask. Best wishes.
i just read the OP and it's all nonsense. medicating a pleasant 5 year old child is nuts. zoloft is not ADHD med.
When I was a lil girl I had the same exact issues. Plus I wet the bed and had panic disorder. I was physically abused as well. I didn't take any meds. My sister did not have my problems. School was hard. I started taking aderals and only aderals in high school. I read my first book, took tests better. Also started treating others better. It cleared my mind. Low self esteem will cause a lot of strange behaviors. Building it back up is harder. Self control as well.
Aderals to slow thinking down and make clear. Build self esteem up and work with self control. This will be needed for life. Not the meds tho, see them as a assistant in the beginning. Better communication will led into the winging of med if needed. We all know the power of trust and love. The power of fear needs to be tackled
This is a pretty old thread, but it still gets comments, which shows you how much people are divided on the subject of medicating children. I can understand both sides, but my perspective comes as a 44 year old woman who literally just figured out that I have suffered from ADHD all my life.
I wish my parents had known about my ADHD and medicated me! Then I could have been able to build some self esteem through socializing normally (not as many traumatizing failures in friendships and romantic relationships), as well as succeeding at a career at an earlier age!!!!
I have a RIGHT to earn an income! I have a right to be accepted by my peers and to socialize! I have a right to fall in love and be happy in a relationship!!!!! I have a RIGHT to enjoy my life and be comfortable in my own skin!!!! NO, I could not do any of these things with any degree of comfort or success due to my constricting ADHD symptoms!!!!
I am a grown and middle aged DAUGHTER who was never treated or given a decent evaluation in school, despite me falling into a pattern of LOW GRADES and hanging out with bad kids and smoking and doing drugs and drinking, all under the age of 18.
It's amazing to me that NOBODY took the time to give me a fair evaluation to determine if I had a learning disability even, although I wish I had a complete psychiatric evaluation at a young age.
Your children are PEOPLE, and not just your PETS. They deserve an intervention and medical HELP if they are to be able to develop and grow as young people, more on track. You owe it to your children to HELP THEM!!!! If you feel you don't want to help your children to get a good evaluation and to receive medical intervention (aka medication) as well as a TOTAL environment adjustment to make your house less cluttered and more friendly to a person with ADHD... then you are actually preferring to allow your child to exist in confusion about how to socialize, how to bond and make friends, which then turns into skills in how to get along with people in the workplace!!!!!!!!!!! Think about it! Don't you want your child to learn how to get along with neuro-typicals? How will your child ever learn to do this if you allow your child to exist in the confusion of having a poor executive function, which also makes them feel a sense of confusion about SELF IDENTITY in relation to their activities and work. You then get people who are disconnected from others socially, are forever OUT-GROUPED at work, and struggle in marital difficulties and child rearing later.
You may want to also consider that if your child received an ADHD diagnosis, you could very well be a woman with an invisible ADHD because you overcompensate as many women do, trying to appear perfect and normal when you yourself are actually NOT normal in a neurochemical way.
I wish people would just think about all this, when considering how to approach how much help they will give their children. You must totally transform your home, to reduce clutter and to hang signs all around to remind the child of things to do, when to do them, how to do them, etc. I wonder how many parents even do that! And if they do, why not add medication so that the child can start to learn to implement these "compensatory strategies" themselves more??? Then the child can also learn more, retaining more in memory, and being able to learn more about self-care and how to socialize too!!!!
First, thank you for posting. Your story is all to common. I have been a teacher since 1970. I/we did not have any workshops, etc on ADHD until the mid 80's. And ADD really never came up. It was always the hyperactive boys who got noticed. Girls with ADD were completely off the radar. And I would say that lasted well into the early 2000's and probably still is going on today. You really can't blame your parents - it just wasn't information that was out there back then.
Your comments on how to help your kids are right on target. Thank you for contributing. And, by the way, there is a pretty good adult ADD site, you might want to check out. You will find lots of people who have traveled the same journey. The site is: http://jeffsaddmind.com/for-first-time-visitors
I realize that your post is several years old, however I can't help commenting on your vicious rant.
Let's start with your obvious confusion that the parents and doctors consider your granddaughter "challenging" when she is simply smart, which you don't think they see. ADHD children are not assumed to be stupid necessarily; intelligence and ADHD do not go hand in hand nor are they mutually exclusive of one another. Each child is different. One without ADHD might be a genius and one with ADHD might not be. The challenging part comes from issues like inability to focus (which WILL impact education), increased impulsivity and lower safety awareness, increased risky behaviors, tendency to become easily and extremely irritable, increased negative peer interactions, etc. They are not medicating a child because she makes them all feel stupid. There are other behaviors that they are trying to resolve.
I also have considerable concern about your desire to "CHOKE" the teacher based on your interpretation of her actions during this time and the fact that you are looking to "take the teacher down". Taker her down? Physically or professionally? Because she completed a universally accepted diagnostic tool? What is wrong with you?? Additionally, teachers are not qualified, unless they also possess degrees in either Medicine or Psychiatry to diagnose any one. I am also confused because on one hand you complain about a teacher "evaluating" her but then complain because a teacher did NOT test her. Also, the written test that you are so dismissive of is likely The Connors Scale, which is an accepted diagnostic tool used nationally to diagnose or rule out ADHD/ADD. The child's doctor has the parents as well as the teacher complete these independently and then compares the information to determine who is seeing what behaviors and what those results indicate. Do you think that there is some other testing available to determine/rule out ADHD? There is no blood test, acceptable brain scan, etc at this time. Behaviors are recorded and analyzed by a professional.
You also make a bizarre statement that they took the child to a doctor they KNEW (like that is some type of red flag and an abomination). Most parents KNOW the doctor they take their children to; it is also a benefit for the doctor to actually know the child to help determine if the behavior is new or causally related to outside events. I am not sure why you are trying to imply that this is somehow an abusive or insane act on behalf of her parents. The fact that they walked out with medication may very well be directly related to the results and interpretation of the Connors Scale, of which you have no knowledge.
As a side note, it is none of your business if the 4 year old still uses a pacifier. It is also none of your business if the parents, doctor (of their choosing) and teachers all agree on a diagnosis and course of treatment for this child. You state that you are her primary caretaker. I will assume that you mean babysitter because if you were legally her caretaker/guardian then you would have been included in these conversations and decisions. The fact that you do not agree with the parenting methods or medical interventions does not mean that they are wrong. One of the problems with ADHD children is that unfortunately the first thing tried is not always the thing that works. It is a trial and error situation.
You are unbelievably disrespectful regarding every adult in this child's life, except for yourself. Is there a legitimate concern about this child's health and well being (I assume that based on your vitriolic references to your grandson that you are uninterested in his health and well being)? If yes, then have you reported your concerns to Child Protective Services? Or are you one of those nightmare relatives who calls CPS because you don't agree with the parenting even if it is not remotely abusive in any form, and therefore CPS no longer give any credence to your calls? You are incredibly nasty and derogatory when referring to her parents. I don't know them at all, but my impression of you is that I would not allow you near my children, even if a court ordered it. I hope that you can manage to control your venom in front of this child as it does more harm that I think you are willing to acknowledge. I also think you might find it more difficult than you believe for any court to give you a say in the upbringing of this child. The impression that you give with this one post is one of anger, conflict, disagreement, disrespect, an inability to accept that you MIGHT not be always correct, and an inability to compromise.
I don't know what is wrong with your granddaughter; even with unbiased symptoms listed, I am not a doctor and wouldn't dare diagnose. My guess is that you also not a doctor and therefore unqualified to analyze and interpret symptoms as well. Your son may have a Masters Degree in Social Work, but that also doesn't qualify him to make diagnoses. He may question the treatment plan for this child, and if he has legitimate concerns then he should address them with her parents. He might be able to offer some behavior modification suggestions in a calm, rational way that the parents might be receptive to trying. But, ultimately, this is none of your business and you might wish to seek counseling yourself to correct your overreaching, nasty behavior before these parents decide they have had enough of you and cut you completely out of their children's lives.
My daughter is ADHD,OCD,ODD,she has anxiety, depression and she hears voices telling her to kill me her father and her little brother. She is taking meds for her ADHD and to help her sleep at night. I use to refuse to give her medication for anything other then a cold. I understand where everyone is coming from but in the same point every person is different and I'm sorry but my daughter my not be perfect in other ppls eyes but she is a straight a student. She loves going to school and has actually told me she wants to go to school even on the weekends and holidays. Yes we still have behavior issues with her but not as much as when she don't take her medication in the morning and afternoon. My mom sells some kind of vitamins that are all natural and are suppose to help with ADHD but for my child it don't seem to work. My mom tried it this past summer and my daughter had more problems without her medication that it doesn't really pay for her to go off of it. Well my mom was giving these vitamins to my ten year old daughter. She tried to take her own life and her little brother's. So I guess I'm conflicted about taking her off of them again because I really don't wanna loose my children at such young ages. We have woken up to our daughter standing in our room watching us sleep with a knife in her hand more then once. I just wish that they would take her off of Ritalin and try something else but it is working at the moment.
How did things work out for your daughter. My son has the same issues. He is now on his 4th drug and I hate them all. I don't want him on meds as I don't trust their safety and my son has terrible side effects. This latest try I only agreed to so the doc at the day clinic he now attends could see how terribly he behaves on them. She told me tray however that they were really pleased with the success??!! I was with him for 2 1/2 hours for a hearing test. I came out crying because my son was like a zombie. His eyes were too big. He was sweating. He was so tired he just lay on a seat when not asked to do something for the hearing test. He spoke do. quietly I could understand him. He then turned to me st one point and asked if I noticed how concentrated he is. I was shocked to the core. He resembled a drugged ir drunk or someone who had hadn't been allowed to sleep. At night he is wide awake and can't sleep. He wakes with stomach pain. I am more worried about him than ever. I want my happy little boy back, but the school system only wants the zombie version. Homeschooling is illegal where we live. What can I do?
The medicines will work for the first couple months or they will experience worse behavior. There is a no child left behind act if your child is diagnosed they can be classified and have an IEP or individualized education plan that can hrlp them thrive. The medicines are ridiculously expensive and just dont cure anything, its a bandaid. Finally after 6 years im taking my son off medicine and feel great about it. They will have withdrawl symptoms which can be difficult, but if you explain to them what is going on (brain is going back to natural state) they can be assured a little more. Sleepytime tea is really good for relaxing and lemon drops with fish oil is also good. Dont forget to hug your children .Ive been through alot calling the police because the medicine caused my son to go crazy and not himself, fudge that. Now he still has a smart mouth and alot of energy but he isnt trying to hurt my bf.