When I was 4 years old, I was diagnosed with ODD and a high functioning autism also known as Aspergers. Growing up I didn’t have very many friends, and the ones I did have emotionally abused me in the relationship from 3rd grade all the way up to 6th grade. My father was very emotionally neglectful and never gave me his approval. When I was 9 years old, I had my first dream of killing someone, but I don’t remember the dream as a negative, I remember being more fascinated. Theses dream accrued now and again through the passing years. And it sometimes changed to me being the victim. I have been also diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety. I only really have one or two friends at a time because I have a very hard time trusting new people and are very suspicious of them at the beginning of a relationship. And somebody can only screw me over If I let them, by either trusting them or letting down my guard. Pitty the fool who decides to earn my trust and screw me, they will know what it feels like to hurt. If I don’t destroy them in that instant, I will keep my enemy close until I have everything I need to bring him all the way down to nothing. And ever since I was young I have been able to make anybody feel any emotion I want them to feel. I can go from happy to cry just by choice if I choose to do so. I feel disconnected with my emotions and they are more something I use to fit in. Around 6th grade, I learned that retaining appearance was very important to my future with relationships. So I started paying attention to other peoples emotions and listening to others to understand and see what pain, regret, shame, confidence, etc look like. Since that point, I have had no problem obtaining a relationship if I want one. I have taken Adderall for many years for my diagnosed ADHD, but when I take this medication I actually became not talkative (Which is weird got me). It also kind of makes me paranoid but helps me stay focused.